Tag Archives: twitter

College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

Sunday Morning Hot Takes: BYU Edition

Welcome to our first edition of Sunday Morning Hot Takes where we’ll be delivering a fresh, steaming pile of hot takes following every Husker game.

So… how ’bout that BYU game?

If you’re reading this, congratulations on making it through the night to see another sunrise. I haven’t yet ventured outside but I’ll go out on a limb and say that the sun has kept its 4.5 billion year streak of being where it’s supposed to be going for a least one more day.

Granted, that final second of regulation ended with as much shock and horror as seeing an animal shelter get napalmed but we can get through this Husker Nation.

It’s a long season. There will be peaks. There will valleys. And there’s a pretty damn good chance that 90,000 fans will not get their hearts ripped out on the final play of a game at Memorial Stadium for a long, long time. (Or at least a few weeks.)

Mola Ram BYU
Who knew Mola Ram was a BYU fan?

Before we dive into the hot takes, we must first drop the worst humble brag ever. In our interview with former BYU linebacker Austen Jorgensen, there was a little nugget where he absolutely nailed the outcome of the game.

Austen Jorgensen Prediction

ON WITH THE HOT TAKES!

Mike Riley: Two things are clearly apparent: 1) He does not rattle under pressure and he certainly had his fair share on Saturday. One can only imagine he keeps a screaming chamber in his basement.

MeditationChamber-ESB
A visualization of Mike Riley’s top secret screaming chamber.

2) Even at 62-years-old, his heart his clearly in tip top shape. Yes, he slumped over when the refs signaled touchdown but he walked off the field under his own power. Even as cold blooded as he is, Bill Snyder would not have survived that ending.

Coach Riley’s calmness must be contagious because it even carried over to Husker Twitter. These tweets were from when things weren’t exactly going right.

Behold the calmness and rational thoughts!

Tommy Armstrong: Holy crap did he look sharp. Yes, he had a few low points (and one crazy pass that gave Husker Nation a T-Magic flashback) but overall he clearly bought into what Danny Langsdorf is selling. Our DVR mercifully stopped recording with 8 minutes left in the fourth quarter but his pass to Brandon Reilly the final time the Huskers had the ball was a sight to behold and his best pass of the game. He put the ball exactly where it needed to go. Tommy just needs to remember he has a pretty fast set of wheels underneath him and be a little quicker when it comes to deciding to tuck the ball and run.

Danny Langsdorf: Hey man, the Huskers are kind of known for running the ball. Maybe you could add some more of those plays next week? And that number 32, he’s kind of a beast. Maybe call his number a few more times. Oh, but it was really cool when you mixed up some of the old stuff following Nate Gerry’s interception. Do more of that and Husker fans will love you long time.

Jordan Westerkamp:  Another season opener. Another jaw dropping catch. Say what you will about Adidas, but they at least know how to make a jersey that stays in one piece.

Jordan Westerkamp Catch
The Huskers got their first points on this season on this nice little stretch play. Please, tip your server.

Mark Banker’s Defense: Every time I started writing a stupid tweet (note to self: you can save drafts) that said Mark Banker was an anagram for Kevin Cosgrove, the Blackshirts adjusted and got a stop. They’ll figure out how to stop a Hail Mary eventually. 

Sam Foltz: Best wishes to Thunder Leg for speedy recovery. It was really great to see the Huskers pay tribute to him by not punting and scoring a bunch of points instead for a while there in the second half but how about Tyson Broekemeier stepping up huge when the Huskers truly needed to punt?

Tanner Mangum Granted, he’s a freshman who graduated high school in 2012 but he’s still a freshman playing in his very first game. On the road. At Nebraska. And he walked off Tom Osborne field swinging the biggest pair of stones of the day. Hopefully the BYU equipment team will get him a helmet that fits now that he’s officially a legendary quarterback and switch the letters on his jersey so that his last name magically becomes Magnum. If you’re gonna have eyebrows that look like a pair of Tom Selleck mustaches you might as well play the part. Plus, how sweet would it be if he took the field to the theme from Magnum?

TANNER MAGNUM
Tanner Mangum is 6’3″ but stands 5’3” with the over-sized helmet.

KEEPING IT CLASSY: Thanks to our handy guide to drinkin’ in Lincoln for BYU fans blowing up on BYU Twitter earlier this week, we sort of became unofficial ambassadors of Husker Nation. We’re thrilled to see that Husker fans were living up to their reputation. Good job, everyone.

BYU TWEETS

FINAL NUMBERS:

17: The number of are you still alive? text messages I received from various family and friends in the minutes and hours that followed the game.

6: Points left off the board by missed field goals. Drew Brown will get it back on track. Maybe it’s not too late to get Alex Henery on-board as a volunteer coach?

0: Number of concerned texts I received from my otherwise lovely wife. When I told her about the heartbreaking outcome, she chuckled before saying, “Wait, I thought they always played a high school team so would always won their first game? Did they lose to a high school team?”  She grew up an LSU fan, btw.

38 – 24: Our score prediction as modeled by one of Hollywood Blvd’s Spider-Men. With the Blackshirts holding and the offense rolling, this prediction was lining up to come true.

Spider-man Hollywood Blvd

STUFF THAT’S NEITHER A NUMBER OR A HOT TAKE:

Unsung Hero of the Day: My KMASHI battery. While it may not be as sleek and slender as a ridiculously overpriced Mophie, it’s built like an offensive lineman and will take your mobile device from zero back up to full power many times over on a single charge. I can’t remember the last I even charged the thing but even with one bar it charged my phone twice yesterday. Plus, it has 2 USB ports so you can help out a friend in need. Best $13.99 you can spend.

Hilarious Twitter account you need to follow (especially if you’re also a soccer fan): Throwball for Brits.

Finally, the award for Most Click-Baity Headline of the Day goes to the otherwise rock solid Hail Varsity crew.

The “featured” tweets belong to Faux Pelini, the Huskers, Hunter Radenslaben, Sam McKewon, the Huskers, Dewayne Wade, Tim Miles, Todd McShane, and Ron Kellogg.

I’m sure they’re all thrilled and flattered to see their tweets in virtual print. Next time, try to feature more people like Hunter. Might help your engagement.

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Bo Pelini, College Football, Huskers

Dirk Squirts: Dirk Chatelain’s Huevos Are Bigger Than Yours

Welp. It certainly didn’t take long for Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain to earn himself a mention around these parts.

We swear, our game plan going into a season filled with such hope and optimism was to leave the guy alone. Besides, what nits could Dirk find to pick on a team lead by a soft spoken guy who can’t stop smiling and hasn’t even played a single down?

That we even had pondered that thought shows us just how much we underestimated the power of Dirk.

Because the dude called a Black Flash 41 Reverse of his own and paid an unannounced visit to Bo Pelini.

In Youngstown, Ohio.

On his literal home turf.

And he lived to tell about it.

no-marbles-o

Never again will we ever doubt the size of Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain’s marbles.

His stones know no peer.

No ranchero can contain his heuvos.

Forget Bruce, Dirk’s spirit animal is the late, great Bon Scott.

From everything we’ve heard, Youngstown is Ohio’s version Jasper, Missouri and the fact that Dirk strolled into town and didn’t end up scattered around Youngstown Auto Wrecking (you may know it as Ohio’s largest salvage yard) is a testament to just how far we’ve come as a society when a person no longer wields enough power to make someone disappear for good.

And kudos to Dirk for handling the whole incident like a boss. It’s like he took our advice to heed and did one better by going full Travis Bickle with truly next level stalking. The most amazing aspect is how he kept his visit completely under wraps until dropping yesterday’s bombshell. There were no spy photos tweeted out from his rental car showing Pelini at mid-field and he didn’t strap a Go-Pro to his head to secretly record the meeting .

Homer and Apu Spy Camera
In this illustrated example, Dirk is played by Homer and Pelini is played by Apu.

Dirk simply strolled onto the Shaw Sportexe PowerBlade HP+ turf at Stambaugh Stadium like the Pope of Chili Town and did what no other member of the Nebraska sports media had the stones to do.

Now, Dirk, if you could only learn to drop the mic and move on with your day, that would help boost your reputation as a neck snapper and a check casher immensely.

These lame Twitter spats are doing your burgeoning street cred no favors.

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College Football, Huskers

Hot Carl Take: Come Live With Us, Uncle Carl

The Omaha World-Herald must be warming up for next week’s Kick a Ginger Day with  Kick a Pelini day by reporting (and repeatedly tweeting) that Carl Pelini will not be considered to be the head coach of Des Moines Lincoln High School, a job for which Carl submitted his resume.

And if you believe unsubstantiated tweets, the Des Moines job was Carl’s third strike on the high school coaching search.

Poor guy wants to get back into the coaching game and he’s being treated like someone who’s been given a court order to not go anywhere near a school full of children.

Carl Pelini Stink Finger

Luckily, we have a plan.

Uncle Carl, you can come live with us.

Right here at Big Red Fury Headquarters.

We have a guest room (with its own bathroom), the fridge is always stocked with good beer, we have all the cable channels (except Cinemax) along with Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu Plus, and get this, from our front door, we are a mere 340 yards from the football field at Los Angeles High.

Maybe as part of your job search you saw that LA High rebounded from a dismal 1 – 9 season a year ago to win this year’s Division III City Section Championship?

Yes, a school with over 2,000 students is considered Division III in LA.

While LA High might be the oldest and one of the most distinguished high school in Southern California, its glory days are fading fast. With the LAUSD dropout rate currently at 44% (that’s an improvement, BTW), a premium isn’t exactly placed on extra-curricular activities at public schools.

In fact, the only way I know of LA High’s recent success is because they splurged on temporary lights for this year’s playoffs.

I assumed the field being lit up on a Friday night was due to being used for a movie shoot  but the roar of the crowd told otherwise. So like a moth to a flame, I made the one block hike to experience my first ever Roman football game.

This was the scene:

Friday Night Light
There’s nothing like the thrill of high school football under the Friday night light.

COLD FANS
LA High fans bundled up in November just like any other fans. The only exception- it was 60 degrees at kickoff.

LA HIGH DJ
The Marching Romans had the night off but a DJ kept the crowd going.

IMG_2873
On the field, the Romans’ powerful rushing attack paved the way to the City Section Championship at the Coliseum.

Uncle Carl, what we saw that night was football at its finest. It was simply football for the sake of football. Playing on a dusty and beaten field under the shadow of goal posts made from 2x4s, the LA High kids showed an amazing amount of grit, determination, and pride.

A lot of that is owed to the Romans’ new coach, Eric Scott. Like yourself, Scott hit a couple bumps in the road and found a new start at LA High, turning around both himself and the program. With you on his staff, there’s no doubt Roman Empire would soar to new heights.

Plus, when your squad isn’t practicing, you can work on your novel in the library and soak up the vibes of Ray Bradbury and Charles Bukowski, two of LA High’s distinguished alumni.

You can see the requirements to be a Volunteer Coach here.

LA HIGH VOLUNTEER COACHING REQUIREMENTS
Please note: I know a guy who knows a guy who can take care of any issues with your fingerprints. A TB test is a scan for Tuberculosis, it is not a check for a new social disease. I’ll do my best to find out exactly what kind of conduct is on that “Code of Conduct.”

If you’re still not sold, here’s one last carrot with which to temp you.

JUMBOS CLOWN ROOM

Jumbo’s Clown Room might not look like much during the day but at night it transforms to the Second Happiest Place on Earth. You think you had a wild time in Florida? Spend a couple nights with me at Jumbo’s. Every single visit is like a hand job for the mind. I might even be able to rally Lemmy (yes, that Lemmy) to help give you a proper welcome to the City of Angels.

What do you think, Uncle Carl?

Give the word and I’ll start sucking up to my wife.

 

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College Football, Huskers

Best Reactions to Tim Beck Going to Ohio State

To the surprise of just about everyone, Tim Beck is joining Urban Meyer’s staff at Ohio State.

Yes, THE Ohio State University. The same one that is playing the Oregon Ducks for the National Championship.

And yes,  the Tim Beck. Public enemy number two to every arm chair coach in Husker Nation has been promoted from the thankless job of running the offense for the Scarlet and Cream to helping run the offense for the Scarlet and Gray.

Tim Beck Tunnel Walk of Shame
From Tunnel Walk of Shame’s comic for the Minnesota game.
How little did we know how bright Tim Beck’s future would be.

While it is a surprising announcement, especially for a seemingly quiet Sunday, the move isn’t entirely out of left field. Beck will be teaming back up with Ed Warinner. You may remember their work together at Kansas when they torched the Huskers for 76 points and 572 yards and pounded a few nails into Bill Callahan’s coffin back in 2007.

If you tuned in for Ohio State’s playoff game against Alabama, you probably noticed how much the Buckeyes’ offense was reminiscent of Nebraska’s… except for that whole being able to knock off a top ten opponent part… and that whole being able to knock off a top ten opponent while using your third string quaterback part.

Needless to say, the news of Beck’s promotion was one that sent the Husker social media peanut gallery aflutter.

Lincoln Journal Star Facebook
This Lincoln Journal Star post and comments can be found here.

Tim Beck Heart Attack

Tim Beck FartedCarla, this comment makes absolutely zero sense. Surely the news about Tim Beck had the power to make 75% of his haters crap their pants, but mere farts? No way.

Tim Beck Urban Meyer
Good job looking on the bright side, Dot.

Tim Beck Ohio State
Yep. The state of Ohio (10x the population of Nebraska, btw) loves their football. Thank you, Jon, for that astute observation.

Tim Beck Comment 1
WTF, Dennis? Did you not at all notice the part where Ohio State hired Tim Beck?

And here’s what the Twitter had to say.

See if you can figure out which tweets came from Husker fans and which came from Buckeye fans:

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College Football, Huskers

HACKED! Never Trust a USC Fan to Feed Your Cats

The next time USC and the Huskers square off, you can make darn sure Husker Nation will get its revenge, both on the field and in the cyberspace.

Much like Pelini getting caught on tape not once but twice, we made a pair of fatal errors in the days leading up to the Holiday Bowl.

1. We entrusted our dear neighbor, who happens to be a longtime USC season ticket holder, with the care and feeding of our cats which means he had a key to our house.

2. The iPad we thought was in our carry-on bag was left behind on the dining room table and said iPad had no sort of security code enabled.

CONRAD BANE
Human pun machine, devious prankster. Our dear neighbor as Conrad Bane on Halloween.

Knowing  how our dear neighbor operates, he probably discovered that iPad was ripe for the pillaging on day one but like Lane Kiffin patiently awaiting his next firing, he laid like a Pete Carroll in the grass for the perfect time to strike.

Which for him, was the hours leading up to the Holiday Bowl.

Clearly, he didn’t remember the time we sat next to him at the Coliseum and acted as his rock and shoulder to cry on when Notre Dame dismantled and demoralized his sacred Trojans in 2012 during their run to BCS Championship Game.

Then again, maybe he remembered we still owe him for the ticket.

Then again, we still haven’t forgotten about the bushel of carrots and gallon of dip he ate when we had him over for the 2007 edition of USC vs Nebraska.

Here’s how it all went down…

Gotta give our dear neighbor credit. He nailed USC’s winning score on his opening tweet.

Let the record show, this is the first time in history the word fine has preceded the phrase Ohio tail.

We have no idea what the symbolism is supposed to be here.

 Worst part of getting an HJ from Rosie Perez? She’d still be able to talk.

While our dear neighbor claims to have never visited Nebraska, he clearly shows an intimate knowledge of East Campus Greek life.

But was $3 million enough to ensure victory for the Hanckensack Bulls of Los Angeles?

Hickory dickory dock, Shawn Eichorst was sucking Harvey Perlman’s…

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College Football, Huskers

In Bashing Pelini On Class, Omaha World-Herald Shows None

Dear Omaha World-Herald:

You got the exclusive, you got your story. It’s over. Stop beating the dead horse. Stop dancing on the grave. For your own good and your remaining credibility, drop the mic and walk away.

Or, you could fire off the same tweets over and over and over again.

Since unveiling the actual audio recording last night, this is what your twitter feed has looked like.

All “rules” about Twitter both written and unspoken have apparently been thrown out the window.

Look at your time stamps, three tweets in three minutes?

Three ICYMI tweets in the span of four hours?

Do y’all need a social media coach?  Believe it or not, that has become a very real profession and it looks like you could stand to use a lot of help.

For the love of Bob Devaney, just let it go, Omaha World-Herald.

It was painful but even Rose was able to let Jack’s corpse fall to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Titanic Jack And RoseJust let it go, Omaha World-Herald. Just let it go.

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College Football, Huskers

For Whom the Bell Trolls

Twitter trolls are a fascinating species. You never know when they’ll strike from their dark and dank dens deep under the staircase that leads to their parent’s basement.

A couple Sundays ago, Husker Nation and its players received enough constructive feedback from the trolls that it felt like Middle Earth came to life.

Considering what happened that fateful morning, #TommyBomb’s reaction to the news was no worse than your aunt who will post a 500 word rant on Facebook whenever Hy-Vee doesn’t honor an expired coupon.

However, Tommy’s tweet had the trolls smelling blood in the water.

According to @Drama419‘s Twitter bio, he’s a “Family man, traveling man. Sports nut, Noles, Vikes, Pens! I get to travel the world and engage in Tomfoolery” and lives in Maumee, Ohio, a hamlet of 14,000 on the banks of the mighty Maumee river. The town’s biggest attraction is the interstate. I-80 and I-90 magically become one (according to the Google Maps) as it passes by Maumee.

Now @Drama419 claims to have a wife, a pair of kids and a wonderful life. A life so wonderful that he had nothing better to do on a Sunday morning than harass a college kid who just found out he lost his coach, mentor, and friend.

One can only imagine what the rest of his Sunday Funday was like. “Hey honey, round up the kids. We’re taking a cruise up to the I-80/90/475 interchange to watch all the big dreamers who are driving someplace that isn’t Maumee.”

Cut to the following Friday night.

I’m on the couch with my feet up watching the Pac-12 Championship Game between the Oregon Ducks and the Arizona Wildcats. It’s absolutely amazing how fun and relaxing college football can be when the Huskers aren’t playing.  And by fun and relaxing, I mean your heart doesn’t stop beating every time the ball is thrown in the air.

Oregon won their rematch with Arizona in a landslide and before the final whistle even finished blowing, a Twitter troll lashed out at your humble author, his friend, The University of Arizona Athletic Department and the Los Angeles Kings hockey team.

WTF, right?

A couple points to clarify in my response to @colebigby: 1) when I said Oregon is my second favorite team, the gap between the Huskers and the Ducks in my fandom (like any true Husker) is so great you’d need Matthew MacConaughey, a spaceship, and a conveniently placed wormhole in order to properly measure the distance. 2) By “watching the game with Coach Neal‘s brother” what I really meant was that we were both in our respective homes furiously texting back and forth like a pair of 12-year-old girls who just guzzled their first Frappuccinos. Lord help us if we ever figure out Snapchat.

In his defense, @colebigby was quick to own up to his mistake.

But he revealed an interesting look into the mind of a Twitter troll. What he responded to was a Twitter chat that happened two months earlier about Duck Hunt memes.

Score one for the Wildcats coming up with the Duck Hunt joke first.

And seriously, trolls. When your team wins, celebrate and enjoy the victory. If you feel compelled to tweet about it, write something nice to your team and players.

Don’t be so quick to rub your team’s victory in the faces of the losing fans that you rely on a program to help you find Twitter users to troll. But if you insist, at least make sure you’re trolling the right people.

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Bo Pelini, College Football, Huskers

An Omaha World-Herald Twitter Account Has Lost Its Mind

Think all this Husker news is too much to handle? Try being a Twitter account administered by the Omaha World-Herald.

Every time I’ve looked at Twitter today, I’ve had this uneasy feeling that I was losing my damn mind. Tweets I knew I had read were somehow back in my feed once again.

Then I realized the reason why I was seeing double is because @OWHbigred has been tweeting double.

Sometimes there are slow news days and there are news days so big you gotta tweet it twice.

 

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Bo Pelini, Huskers

Did caps lock rage lead to changes for the Huskers?

Early Monday evening Steven M. Sipple put this little nugget out in to the world…

Coincidentally or not, these upcoming changes on the Huskers special teams come on the heels of Husker fan Orienthal J Newburn Sr. dropping some serious all caps rage on not one, but two of the Omaha World Herald’s Facebook posts over the weekend. Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 9.29.25 PM

Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 8.59.51 AM

Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 9.00.12 AM

Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 8.59.21 AM

Could all caps and wanton use of punctuation be the key to catching the attention of Bo Pelini?

Maybe @FauxPelini was right all along.

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