Tag Archives: todd munson

College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

Sunday Evening Hot Takes: Oregon Edition

How much fun was that Oregon game?

Even with all the stress and near heart attack moments, this was arguably the most fun game of the Mike Riley era from start to finish. (Michigan State was a blast but only at the end.)

With the Huskers topping the Ducks 35-32, Nebraska finally beat a ranked non-conference opponent at home for the first time since 2001 when Bob Davie brought the Fighting Irish to Lincoln.

The best part about this win was that it was a complete team effort on both sides of the ball. The offense and the Blackshirts overcame potentially backbreaking miscues and stepped up big when it absolutely mattered the most-  from De’Mornay Pierson-El’s game changing punt return (how great was it to see him back in 2014 form?), to Tommy Armstrong Jr. doing it with his arm and legs on the Huskers’ final drive, to Kieron Williams‘ game saving pass breakup with a minute to play.

Then there’s Mike Riley. Where has the guy who was on the sidelines on Saturday been hiding? Talk about a stone cold assassin with a pair of cajones the size of casaba melons. Going for it on 4th down three times including with the game on the line? Heck. Yes.

And how about that blitz out of nowhere on Oregon’s final play? With the Ducks facing a 4th and 18 from Nebraska’s 48, the Huskers’ secondary was lined up 12 yards off the ball. If this scenario didn’t instantly give you flashback’s to BYU’s Hail Mary, congratulations for blocking that one from your mind.

Instead of giving the quarterback all day to throw this time around, the Blackshirts brought the heat with a six man rush that immediately flushed Dakota Prukop from the pocket and forced him to run into the welcoming arms of Michael Rose-Ivey who didn’t waste any time slamming him to the turf to lock up the win for the Huskers.

On with the usual Sunday stuff…

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch

mike-riley-happy-balloon_2

Mike gets two balloons this week. For two very obvious reasons.

Our Score Prediction

Another week, another mostly solid prediction from us. #humblebrag

Oregon’s ‘No Green’ Curse Continues

surrender-green

This is a text I received from an Oregon friend before kickoff. Apparently the Ducks’ version of the Huskers’ surrender whites is to wear uniforms without green. This was an interesting (and thankfully true) wrinkle worth keeping an eye on if you’re into that whole wagering on football thing.

This Iowa Fan Needed a Hug. He Didn’t Get One From Us.

How Lucky/Good Was That Bacon Saving  False Start Penalty?

false-start


NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

2: As in can you believe Oregon kept going for two? This will never not be funny.

7.1 Even with Royce Freeman out due to injury, Oregon’s average yards-per-carry was a season high. The Ducks averaged 6.8 YPC against UC Davis and 6.7 YPC against Virginia. The last time Oregon averaged over 7 YPC was in their 44-28 win over Cal last November.

45: De’Mornay Pierson-El’s game changing 45 yard punt return was his longest since he broke off a 42 yarder at Minnesota last year. Can he please return all the punts and never do the jet sweep? On 11 career rushing attempts, DPE has netted -7 yards.

47.2: Caleb Lightbourn’s average yardage on five punts, three of which pinned Oregon inside their own 20.

83: Get to know Brian Reimers, the walk-on redshirt sophomore who hauled in a touchdown pass (his first career reception) to cap the Huskers’ drive to open the second half.

7,376: In case you didn’t hear it over the crowd noise, Tommy Armstrong Jr. is now your career passing leader. He eclipsed Taylor Martinez’s mark of 7,258 passing yards yesterday.


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College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

Hey Oregon, Welcome to Mike’s House

Oregon,

We need to talk. Don’t worry. This is all going to be for your own good. I just want to make sure you little Duckies are prepared for what’s going to happen on Saturday.

You’ve probably been licking your bills for a while now at the prospect of migrating halfway across the country just to beat up on your former in-state rival like the good ol’ days of your annual Civil War.

But there’s one tiny problem.

Mike Riley isn’t at Oregon State anymore.

He’s at Nebraska.

Sure, I could start rattling off all the ways Riley’s coaching toy box has been upgraded but the truth is he’s just getting a taste of what it’s like to be in your Nikes, with world-class facilities and talent far beyond what he had in Corvallis. His playing field is finally level with yours.

But he has one big advantage that can’t be bought with Phil Knight money.

Heck, it can’t even be bought with Warren Buffett money.

And that’s Husker Nation.

While there’s no official date for when it was founded, a great case could be made for November 3, 1962, the day the Huskers’ sellout streak started. The Big Red lost to Missouri that day but the fans were back for the next one and all the others for the past 54 years. You Ducks have the honor of being number 350.

That’s kind of a big deal especially when you consider Memorial Stadium has nearly tripled in size during that time and Bill Callahan was head coach for a while.

Things are a little bit different around these parts. You’re going to be greeted by 90,000 of the most loyal and passionate fans you’ve ever played in front of anywhere. And that includes the little nest you call a stadium. (54,000 fans for your home games? Cute.)

Those fans (who will all be wearing red, btw) have known since Monday they won’t be sitting down for the duration of the game. All it took was a tweet from a linebacker that simply said #NoSitSaturday and everyone was like ‘Cool. We’ll spread the word.’

That’s how people roll in Nebraska. We take care of each other. Someone needs a favor? It gets done. Mike Riley is one of us now so when he steps onto that sideline, 90,000 people will have his back along with another million plus watching from afar.

Oregon, when you come out of that tunnel, it’s important that you’re prepared for what’s going to happen.

First off, no matter how loud it gets, and it will get loud, Memorial Stadium will not fall apart. She may feel like she’s about to crumble but don’t worry. She’s as solid as a rock. Mostly.

Either way, you’ll probably want to dip into your vast wardrobe and pick out some pants that can hide crotchal region stains (both the front and rear kind) just to be safe. Maybe something in a nice dark green? That should do the trick.

It’s going to be so loud you may feel yourself getting knocked backwards by the sheer force of 90,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs. For as much as these folks want to see the Huskers win, they don’t mean you any genuine harm. No matter the outcome, they’ll be cheering for you after the final whistle. It’s what Nebraska fans do.

So there you are, taking it all in and you see him.

mike-riley-flo-rida
Welcome to Mike’s house.

Yes, that inflatable Bob’s Big Boy looking thing is definitely a creeper and he’ll be there to welcome you onto the field. His name’s Lil’ Red and just go with it. Maybe even make a mental bookmark of the moment you make eye contact with his black, soul-less eyes. You’ll already be having the most surreal experience of your football career so why not make it just a little bit weirder?

Now kickoff. That’s when the fun really starts.

You may have read somewhere that Mike Riley’s Huskers can be a little unpredictable. For as frustrating as that can be, it’s been kind of fun that every game brings a new surprise. Will the Big Red decide to kick it old-school and pound the ball down your bill until you give up, or will Tommy Armstrong have the green light to go full Tommy, or maybe a mix of both to really keep your defense on their webbed toes?

Then there’s the problem of dealing with the Blackshirts.

Oh, you have an Olympic hurdler as a wide receiver? Well the Huskers have the guy who set the South Dakota state record in the 200 meter dash and he’s really good at making interceptions and too good at making tackles. Trust me, if you happen to make it past the defensive line, he’s not somebody you want to run into.

And if that wasn’t enough to make you want to go hang out in a park and beg for bread crumbs, there’s a rumor going around that the Huskers are getting hooked up with Yeezy Cleats.

If that happens, you’re doomed. Everyone knows it’s a proven scientific fact that a person runs faster in new shoes and Yeezys are far from being another boring pair of Nikes.

Good luck tomorrow, Oregon. You’re going to need it.


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College Football, Huskers

Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Wyoming Edition

The Wyoming Cowboys galloped into Lincoln with all the swagger of a Frontier Days champion and left town with as much confidence as a rodeo clown who is bad at his job.

(Did I just write that? Holy crap. I might be ready for a career in mediocre sports writing.)

In all seriousness though, for three quarters the Wyoming Cowboys gave the Huskers fits… wait… scratch that.

For three quarters, the Huskers gave themselves and Husker Nation fits as miscues took points off the board and kept Wyoming within striking distance to ruin everyone’s day.

Then the 4th quarter started and Nebraska slammed the door on Wyoming by scoring 28 unanswered points in one of the most crowd pleasing 15 minutes in recent Husker history.

Meanwhile, it was a quarter to forget for Wyoming quarterback Josh Allen. He had a run where three out of four pass attempts were picked off by the Blackshirts and contributed to another turnover with an errant backwards pass that was smartly scooped up by Dapper Ross Dzuris.

The most memorable play of the final period was Nate Gerry’s first interception on the day. After he was brought down by Allen, Gerry handed the ball back to him and was promptly flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct.

It’s hard to think of an example of trolling as masterful as giving the ball you just picked off back to the quarterback.

The refs clearly suspected Gerry of malice and promptly flagged him but I like to think Nate was just being helpful and wanted to make sure Wyoming didn’t leave a football behind in Lincoln.

Let’s break it down.

nategerry1
Gerry hands the ball to Allen and turns away so quickly he doesn’t even have time to insult his mother.

nategerry2
Allen then gives a half-assed attempt at letting Gerry keep a souvenir and somehow manages to avoid a flag of his own.

nategerry
It’s so refreshing to see Gerry get flagged without being ejected.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch

Mike Riley Happy Balloon
A shiny balloon is a happy balloon.

Our Score Prediction

For a while there, it looked like we overshot the mark but we’ll gladly be wrong when the final score is 52-17.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

3: When he joined the 4th quarter interception party with a pick of his own, Chris Jones extended his INT streak to three games.

5: Wyoming quarterback Josh Allen threw his first five career interceptions  on Saturday.

28: To find the last time the Huskers broke off 28 points in a 4th quarter, you gotta go back to 1996 when they rolled Oklahoma 73-21. They also put up 28 in the final period against Kansas in 1991 and Iowa State in 1984

More numerical surprises I found while looking through the box scores of every high scoring game from the last four decades:

29: Apologies in advance for the trigger warning but if you may recall, the Huskers did have a 29 point rally in the 4th against Purdue last year to bring the final score within 10 points.  For everyone’s sanity and peace of mind we won’t mention that final score.

30: In 1982, the Huskers played their final game of the regular season at Hawaii on December 4. The Big Red entered the 4th quarter down 16-7 and would end up winning 37-16 thanks to what was surely a motivational pep talk from Tom Osborne.

48: In 1984 the Huskers broke the back of the Colorado Buffaloes with a 48 point 3rd quarter. There’s no reason for sharing this other than it’s awesome and is probably some sort of record.

Hope you enjoyed walk down memory lane and yes, I should probably get a new hobby.

57: In case you missed it, Tommy Armstrong now holds the Nebraska record for touchdown passes with 57.

105: Jordan Westerkamp returned to form with 105 receiving yards on just four catches. Westy’s career yardage now stands at 2,059 only 631 yards short of breaking Kenny Bell’s career record.

Finally, in case you missed it, Armstrong and Westerkamp are roommates.


 

 

 

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College Football, Huskers

Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy): Your Wyoming Preview

Wyoming week sure went by in a flash didn’t it?

Guess we can thank the sordid and idiotic crime saga of Scott L. Davis for that distraction. One can only imagine how awkward things will be for him during the game if whatever jail he’s in has a watch party.

Then again, maybe he’ll sleep through it since kickoff is at a barbarically early 11am which is 10am in Wyoming. In case you had better things to do than pay attention to the Cowboys’ season opener, they were up playing until 2:30am. Their game against Northern Illinois endured a 110 minute weather delay before ending in triple overtime with the Cowboys winning 40-34.

Mountain West Basketball Tournament - Quarterfinals Wyoming v UNLV
Wanna win a $20 Taco John’s gift card? Find “Barrelman” tomorrow, get a pic with him, and tweet it to us. First one wins all the Olés.

This week more than a few pundits have speculated that Wyoming’s late night could be a factor as if they were the first college kids to ever stay out until the wee hours of a Sunday morning.

Couple Wyoming’ s theoretical fatigue with the special blue light blocking glasses the Huskers are wearing to help get better sleep and you’ve got a guaranteed Husker victory. Right?

If that’s all it took I’d be totally OK with that.

The Huskers will probably have to put in a little more effort though.

With receiver Brandon Reilly coming back from his one game suspension, maybe Danny Langsdorf will open up the playbook and have Tommy air it out more. If you can believe it, people were actually complaining that the he didn’t throw the ball enough against Fresno State.

Wyoming is apparently good at running the ball. But who cares? It’s not like any of their backs will be able to run past Nate Gerry. He’s also back from his one game suspension. Until he gets ejected for targeting.

Finally, there’s the Craig Bohl factor. In three seasons in Laramie, he’s rustled up a 7-18 record for the Cowboys, which isn’t exactly stellar after three consecutive FCS Championships at North Dakota State.

Before North Dakota State, Bohl, as we all know, spent eight seasons as a Nebraska assistant, with his last three as defensive coordinator. While many stories have painted this game as a welcome homecoming for Bohl, let’s not forget he was all but run out Lincoln following the 2002 season.

In case you blocked it from your memory, the Huskers finished an unimaginable 7-7 that year. To shake things up, Frank Solich fired Bohl and hired an up and coming coach named Bo Pelini.

If Bohl would have been good at his job, Pelini would have never been hired and Husker fans would have never become enamored with the guy after he turned around the defense and filled-in as head coach in an Alamo Bowl win against Michigan State.

Then again, if Solich would have been good at his job (or if Steve Pederson wasn’t a lunatic) he wouldn’t have been fired and we wouldn’t have had to suffer through Bill Callahan before suffering through Pelini.

But then we wouldn’t have had this guy come into our lives.

Mike Riley Happy Balloon

Huskers win 48-14.


 

 

 

 

 

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Huskers

Is Foltz Burglar Scott L. Davis America’s Dumbest Criminal?

It certainly didn’t take long for Scott L. Davis, the criminal mastermind “alleged” to have robbed the home and vehicle of Jordan Foltz, to be apprehended by the long arm of the York County Sheriff’s Department.

As you may have already guessed, the quotation marks around alleged up above are fully sarcastic because what is known about Mr. Davis so far does not paint the picture of a man who would ever be described as the sharpest knife in a drawer, even if he was the only knife in the drawer.

Let’s break it all down, shall we?

According to a rough timeline of events published by the Omaha World-Herald, Davis was pulled over in York County sometime between midnight and 1am Sunday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence.

Jordan Foltz  would discover that he had been robbed when he arrived back home in Greeley around 3am.

Based on Google Maps, it’s about an hour and 45 minutes from York to Greeley so Jordan and Davis didn’t miss each other by much and they very well could have crossed paths.

Going back to Davis, here’s how we know his day went down.

At around 5pm back in Greeley (population 466), a resident noticed a green Buick Regal pulling out of the Foltz driveway.

I mean, if you’re going to burglarize a place, shouldn’t you at least wait until after the sun goes down? And maybe even park your getaway car around the block instead of in the driveway, where it’s out in plain sight for all of Foltz’s neighbors to see?

But then again, I’m not a criminal mastermind like Davis. Striking under the cover of darkness is clearly for amateurs. The pro-move is to do it in the middle of the day because if you don’t act suspicious, you’re not going to look suspicious.

Except for that part where you’re a stranger with a strange car (without license plates) entering a house in a town where everyone knows each other and everyone knows the people who live in that house are out of town.

Nope. Wouldn’t raise any red flags at all.

A few hours pass. Maybe Davis spent some quality time with his girlfriend and her Greeley family?

Or maybe they hit the road immediately after the big heist but were lured off the highway by Nitecrawlers Bar in scenic Worms, NE and pounded a few pitchers of victory beers?

Because how else are you going to explain getting so blasted that you can’t drive in a straight line on the straightest stretch of Interstate in the known universe?

All you have to do is set the cruise control at 65mph, make sure your headlights are on and keep the front end pointed away from the corn. It is not that difficult.

But apparently it was a task far too formidable for Davis to handle.

Scott L Davis Crime SpreeThe blue line shows the route from Davis’ listed residence of Lennox, SD to Greeley. The red line shows how far he made it before he got busted.

The greatest irony all when it comes to Davis getting popped for a DUI in York County is that he had been cited for the exact same offense in York County when he was an 18-year-old back in 1997.

What he was doing in Nebraska back then, who knows?

But now, nearly 20 years later, he found himself in the same place. There he was. Swerving down the open road in his Buick Regal (again, no license plates, not at all suspicious to cops), his girlfriend at his side and a carload of stolen treasures that included a gas can with the name Foltz inscribed upon it.

Not to get too deep into the psychology of the criminally inept but what do you think the chances are that Davis regaled his girlfriend with the story of his 1997 arrest while they approached York County in his 1998 Regal?

I’d say pretty good.

A man can learn a lot after being out in the world for 20 years. The school of life is a wonderful teacher.

Then again, a man can prove that he has learned absolutely nothing by getting pinched for the exact same charge in the exact same spot decades later.

Scott L. Davis has only been in our lives for barely a day and I am so fascinated by him. His sliver of life that we’ve been privy to is like the best worst episode of COPS ever.

In fact, his life is so tragic on a small depressing scale that you can almost see his recent crime spree playing out as a grandiose fantasy in which he’s Robert De Niro in Heat and York County is his Waingro.

Like De Niro, Davis was so close to pulling it off and making a clean getaway but ego got the best of him and he had get his revenge on York County by buzzing that big hot air balloon looking water tower completely shit-faced.

I’ve never read the criminal handbook but I assume the title for chapter one is: “Don’t Get Caught.”

And the title for chapter two is probably: “Don’t Get Caught Committing a Crime That’s Unrelated to the Crime You’re Currently Committing.”

It takes a special kind of genius to get caught the way Davis did. In fact, you could say it takes the kind of genius who once nearly cut off his own finger and shared their gaping wound on Facebook.

Scott L Davis Mangled Finger

If you want to see the uncensored version, you can visit Davis’ Facebook page but he probably won’t be able to respond to any friend requests for the next few years.


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Huskers

An Open Letter to the Criminal Mastermind who Robbed the Foltz Family

Dear Dipshit

Congratulations on successfully claiming the title of the most vile person in the Great State of Nebraska. That’s far from an easy feat to achieve and I commend you for doing so without having resort to violence.

All you had to do was burgle the home of a member of the Foltz family while they were in Lincoln honoring the life of Sam.

Out of all the below-the-belt dirty things a person could do, yours was an act so deep in the depths of wrong that even the most dastardly creative member of the Albanian mafia would have pumped the brakes on that one.

And what did you get? A TV and some tools? What? You didn’t feel like stuffing some silverware in your pockets on your way out?

According to news reports, the total retail value of your haul was around $1,400. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I’ve watched enough episodes of Pawn Stars to know at best you might be able to clear $300 at the expense of committing a crime the entire state (and every college football fan around the country) knows about.

Oh sure. You could have poached those items for personal use but what happens when you have friends over to bask in the glow of your new-to-you TV?

If you’re the type of person who needs to resort to stealing a TV in order to have a TV,  you’re probably not the type who has the money for a new TV in the first place. So how are you going to explain that purchase while the dump you call home is one strong gust of wind away from being scattered around Greeley County?

And the tools, aside from the fact that you stole from someone’s livelihood, at least those are practical things to have. But as many well-rounded guys and ladies know, Snap-on brand tools have a level of cachet far beyond the Kolbat garbage found at Lowe’s. Hand anyone a Snap-on tool and the first thing they always do is admire its precision quality before putting it to use.

So I guess that means you now have a set tools you can never loan anyone or bust out at a workplace (assuming you’re at all employable) since people who work where tools are used love talking about tools. A mystery set of Snap-ons is going to be a hard one to explain because those are kind of tools people don’t find at garage sales.

If there’s one thing Nebraskans love more than the Huskers, it’s gossiping about their neighbors. In a case like yours, the mantra ‘snitches get stitches‘ goes right out the window. The fact that you’re still at large makes me think you acted alone. There’s no way you and an accomplice could have made it past the 24 hour mark without one of you trying to rat out the other the moment you felt the heat of an entire state breathing down your neck.

If anyone finds out there’s even a remote chance you’re the guilty party, you’re gonna be so doomed I almost feel bad laughing at the possibilities. Do you really think the bars of a jail cell are strong enough to protect you from the wrath of a football team, scratch that, an entire state out for a super-sized serving of prairie justice?

Really, you only have two options:

1) Anonymously return everything you stole (leaving it all on the tennis courts across the street from the Greeley County Courthouse would be my easily findable suggestion) and take what you did to your grave.

or

2) Return nothing and take what you did to your grave.

Let’s be honest. What you did was so awful, you’ll want to keep this one to yourself even when a priest is administering your last rites (should you be so lucky to die in an organized fashion) because your second-to-last breath will suddenly be your last.

Nebraskans take a lot of pride in being known the world over as a quality and trusted people.

You, my friend, have violated that trust in the worst possible way and will be paying the price sooner than you think.

Good luck.
Mike Riley - Taken 2Mike Riley’s particular set of skills consists of having a roster of total bad asses that runs 139 people deep.


 

 

 

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Big Ten, Huskers

Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Fresno State Edition

Well, that was certainly a much better way to start a season.

Between the combination of Mike Riley apparently spending his off-season reading each and every one of his emails with a subject header of “Run the damn ball” and Fresno State being Fresno State, the Huskers gave fans exactly what they wanted to see- a dominating victory by the Big Red.

With enough subtle miscues and missed opportunities to have things to complain about, of course.

The Huskers ran the ball 80% of the time and limited Tommy Armstrong to only 10 passing attempts in a throwback to the era of that other Tommie.

Is this a game plan the Huskers will stick with all year? Who knows? It was just great to see they were able to roll Fresno State without having to empty the playbook. The less details that can be revealed to Oregon the better.

Compared to last season, it was so refreshing to be able to kick back and enjoy the game without the possibility of a brutal, gut wrenching last second defeat entering the picture.

Our Californians for Nebraska watch site was packed from wall-to-wall and felt like the first day of school. Conversations from last season picked up right where they left off.  There were handshakes, high fives, and new faces all around.

Husker Crowd
This is only a fraction of the Sea of Red that had gathered in Hollywood for the Huskers’ season opener.

Hopefully the crowds will keep going because November’s showdown with Ohio State will be interesting to say the least.  Our local spot is also an Ohio State bar.

NEW OLD WATCH SITEWhy yes, in LA a $4 Bud Light is considered a good deal.

Look for us on the next episode of the Big Red Cobcast.

Or in jail…

Funny how bogus targeting calls can do that.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch:

Mike Riley Happy Balloon
All is well in Lincoln for another week.

Our Score Prediction:

One of Hollywood Blvd’s many Spider-Men made the call.

Spidey’s 42-21 final was averaged out from our predictions in our season preview. Not a bad way to start the season.

The last time Nebraska played Fresno State: We were there in Fresno and crashed the Abdullah family tailgate and wrote about it in one of this site’s first posts. You can take a stroll down Husker memory lane here.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

2: Number of sacks by Dapper Ross Dzuris.

Ross Dzuris
Dapper Ross Dzuris. Let’s make this nickname happen, people.

114: Tommy Armstrong and Ryker Fyfe’s combined passing total was Nebraska’s lowest in a season opener since Jamal Lord(!) threw for 78 yards in the 2003 opener against Oklahoma State. The Huskers won that game 17-7.

103: Devine Ozigbo ran for 103 yards on 17 carries. Last season, the Huskers didn’t have a hundred yard rusher until game seven when Terrell Newby put up 116 against Minnesota.

CORRECTION: Newby went HAM against South Alabama and broke off 198 yards in the second game of last season. Let this be a lesson, kids. Don’t comb trough game stats while you’re still drunk from the game.

8: Chris Jones, number 8 in your program and number 1 in your heart, continued his interception streak that started in the Foster Farms Bowl. Like his pick against UCLA, last night’s also came in the end zone.

51-13: The Huskers’ run to pass ratio. That outta shut up your cranky uncle for at least a day.

0: Number of turnovers committed by the Huskers.

27: The tribute to Sam Foltz  was everything you hoped it would be and then some.  Its poignancy was felt all the way out here in California. As the Huskers lined up in formation for their first punt, fans quickly noticed who was missing and the din of a packed bar instantly went silent.

Sam Foltz JerseyYou’ll always be with Husker Nation, Sam.


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College Football, Huskers

Welcome to the longest night of the year.

Well everyone, we’ve almost made it. One more night to go and we’ll be waking up to our first Husker game day of the season.

We’ve waited so many long, lonely months and now that we’re mere hours away, the suspense is Bo-Pelini-giving-you-a-root-canal excruciating.

Even Larry can’t handle it.

You’d think for a man of his stature, he’d be able to make it McRib season anytime of year, pork future conspiracy theories be damned.

Since we’re all going to be up into the wee hours of the night, alternating between tossing and turning in bed and fighting the desire to run through the nearest wall, we might as well have a little fun.

First up, Tunnel Walk of Shame returned with a brilliant new comic to start the season. If you didn’t read it first thing this morning, go ahead and click that link. This place isn’t going anywhere.

Now, there are going to be many new faces on both sides of the ball. For your convenience, we whipped up some depth charts to help explain who’s who.

DEPTH CHART - OFFENSE.001

And here’s the how the Huskers will be lining up on defense.

DEFENSE DEPTH CHART FINAL.001
If you want to be the hit of your watch party, here are the depth charts as printable PDFs.

DEPTH CHART – OFFENSE

DEPTH CHART – DEFENSE

When I can’t sleep at night, I’m a big fan of falling down the YouTube rabbit hole. If you’re not sick of watching Husker pump up videos (and if you are, what kind of fan you?), we made two, yes two, for this season.

One is a little ridiculous and the other other is a LOT ridiculous. You can decide for yourself which is which.

Just in case you need to wind down after watching those two, here’s one more that’s all Jordan Westerkamp set to the sweet, sweet sounds of Hall and Oates.

Finally, here’s a little lullaby courtesy of the undisputed greatest team in college football history, your 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers.

GBR. It’s going to be a good day tomorrow.

 

 

 

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College Football, Huskers

Field Trip Report: Calabasas High’s Season Opener

Two simple things will help you go far in life: a positive attitude and a cooler full of snacks.

And it sure doesn’t hurt to be a Husker fan.

All three elements were in full effect last Friday night as those of us who make up the West Coast branch of Big Red Fury took a little road trip from Los Angeles out to the far reaches of the San Fernando Valley to catch Calabasas High’s season opener against their cross freeway rivals Agoura High.

Malibu
The Pacific Coast Highway is no I-80 but it will have to do.

There’s no denying that the Calabraska hype is real and we were curious to see for ourselves just how real it was. We’re pleased to report that it is very real and very well deserved. The players, coaches, parents, and fans who make up the Calabasas High football program have built something very special. This is the kind of school Husker Nation should be proud to have a connection with and the feeling is mutual in Calabasas. Folks are very impressed and optimistic about what is happening in Lincoln.

On that note, we should mention that we went as fans and most certainly weren’t on a mission to dig up any dirt or add a NCAA recruiting violation to our list of achievements, everything about field our trip was on the up and up. We were simply out to watch a game and have a good time under the Friday night lights.

And that good time started like this…

Tailgate

Twenty minutes later, we were taking a selfie with the first of several new friends.

Our new Calabasas friend
Since we’re double teaming this recap, we’re going to audible into an option so you can get two distinct points of view in one post.

Take it away, Leslie.

The most interesting thing about tailgating a high school football game is tailgating a high school football game.

Leslie Tailgate
Leslie gets in some reps before she heads to Lincoln for the season opener.

I’m going to need this to be a thing that people around the country openly accept and embrace. JV games stink and there is no denying it. So why not fire up the grill and watch from what was called the “sky box” overlooking Frank Greminger Stadium at Agoura High. Very exclusive stuff happens here in Southern California. However, not everybody showed up on Friday (hey Husker fans, where were you?), but the important people were there.

And guys, he did come up to us and ask for a picture. I just wanted to tell you that because: 1) I hate asking people for pictures, that’s a rookie move, act like you hang out with celebrities all the time and 2) I just wanted to tell you that Keyshawn Johnson asked for a picture with me.

It was a pretty awesome night. Seeing Tristan Gebbia connect with Keyshawn Jr. for the first touchdown of the season was cool if you like to think about those guys playing in Memorial Stadium. (I do).

Skybox ViewHey football, it’s good to see you again.

There were some other pretty good players, I really liked this guy named Darnay Holmes. A WR and CB. I think he might have a bright future ahead of him. Hell, Nebraska might even start to recruit him. That could be fun.

Anyway, after a ton of penalties, two interceptions, and shaking off some first game rust, Calabasas ran away with the game 46-28. It wasn’t even close. None of the starters even played the 4th quarter which gave me time to enjoy a couple more wings and ask around about this new Darnay kid.

Watching with Keyshawn
Leslie enjoys the game from the “sky box” with her new bestie Keyshawn.

OK, Todd. Now it’s your turn to impress everyone.

Well, Leslie,  since it’s going to be hard to top your sarcasm I’ll lead with this photo I took of that “Darnay kid” sharing a laugh with Tristan on the sidelines in the fourth quarter.

Tristan Gebbia and Darnay Holmes
Tristan Gebbia’s final stat line after three quarters of work: 23 for 31 and 320 yards. Meanwhile, Darnay Holmes scored touchdowns on three of his seven catches, totaling 119 yards, and was voted the game’s MVP.

What you don’t see in this photo is me standing in the eye of the hurricane that was the Calabasas student section. Those kids brought the energy for four quarters and still were polite enough to not heckle the old guy who wandered into their turf. A good bunch of kids they were.

The same held true for the parents in attendance. Watching the game with a couple of retired NFL stars was a treat. Getting a glimpse of how differently they see a football game was mind blowing. As soon as the players lined up over the ball, they knew exactly how things were going to play out. And on top of that, they were some of the chillest sports parents I’ve ever seen. Keyshawn Sr. and Darick Holmes could post up at a youth soccer complex and charge good money for lessons in how to remain calm and relaxed while your kid is on the field. It was really nice to see.

As far as the Calabasas squad goes, they’re going to be a tough team to beat. Once Gebbia worked out the first quarter kinks, he was money. He’s going to have a lot of fun this year throwing to Keyshawn Jr. and Darnay. Defenses are going to be bummed trying to cover those two.

From start to finish, this was a great experience. The Calabasas fans showed the same enthusiasm and gracious hospitality that Husker fans are known for. Seriously, it was like walking into an alternate dimension of awesome. If you get a chance, you should definitely check out a game. You can see the full Calabasas schedule here.

We’ll definitely be back for some more Coyote Football. That’s for sure.


 

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College Football, Huskers

SPRING GAME INVESTIGATION: Who Was the Fan in the Dick Shirt?

Nebraska’s 2016 Spring Game went off without a hitch, except of course for that part where the Big Ten Network apparently only planned on broadcasting three quarters of football, causing fans at home to miss the debut of Patrick O’Brien.

But who am I to complain? Until yesterday morning, the Big Ten Network and (most importantly) BTN2GO was far, far out reach.

Let’s just say that dreams come true when you work hard and pray to the Twitter gods .

As a freshly minted Big Ten Network subscriber, words can’t begin to describe the joy of spending a gorgeous April afternoon indoors to watch the Huskers’ Spring Game.

What a sight it was to behold: The Sea of Red. Tommy’s YOLObombs. Running backs who look legit. That last remaining Cotton kid doing his family proud. Mike Riley standing on the sidelines looking like he might say something.

And if that wasn’t enough, there was a fan in a dick shirt.

Yes. A dick shirt.

Late in the 3rd quarter (or close to quittin’ time according BTN’s clock) the live-stream cut to senior safety Nate Gerry on the sideline talking to a fan.

Husker fan in Dick Shirt 2

While one could arguably look past the fact that an adult (fans gonna fan) was monopolizing Gerry’s time while a group of young Huskers were eager to bask in his presence, it was impossible to look past the hefty dick drawn across the left shoulder of his shirt.

Here’s a closer look.Dick Shirt Close Up

Dick Shirt Close Up
There’s no doubt that’s a dick and if you look close, it appears that someone had the honor of signing the shaft.

Four seconds later, our anonymous Husker fan goes for the kill and asks Gerry to sign his dick shirt.

Husker Fan in Dick Shirt 3
“Whoa. Bane’s really gonna sign your dick shirt!”

Husker Fan in Dick Shirt 1Meanwhile, another fan peers over dick shirt’s shoulder like Maynard during the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction.

Husker Fan in Dick Shirt 5Little Ameer realizes where this is headed and peaces out. Good work, kid.

It was at this moment the BTN’s feed cut back to the action on the field. Apparently showing a dick shirt signing all the way to completion was far too racy even for the internet.

Still,  questions remain.

Did Nate Gerry fulfill the fan’s request? In the last screen grab he wears the expression of someone who grudgingly realizes he’s about to sign a dick shirt.

Why was the fan wearing a dick shirt in the first place? Bachelor party? Look close at his hat. It the puffy paint doesn’t look like it spells out “GROOM.”

Was it Mardi Gras in April? That would explain the beads but how did he earn those beads?

Did he lose a bet?

Who else signed his dick shirt? In the screen grabs at 5:24 and 5:20 it looks like there are several other autographs on the torso. Or is that his shopping list for when he runs to the store after the game?

Someone out there has to know this guy and his story.

Help a slightly better than average Husker blog out. Give us some details about this mystery man.

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