Welcome to Lincoln, BYU Fans!

While Nebraska’s capital city may not seem like the most exciting destination, the town does have a couple things going for it.

1) Even without a GPS (and even with impaired brain function), it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to get lost in Lincoln. Navigation  is easier than making a Jell-O salad. The streets run on a brilliant grid system of numbered and lettered streets.

The lettered streets run east/west with O Street considered to be main street. The numbered streets go north/south and any address north of O is considered north and anything south is south. Most folks will give directions based on an intersection e.g. Misty’s Steakhouse (home of the best prime rib in Lincoln and Modern Monks Brewing) is at 11th & P. Boom. Easy, right? Its real address, 200 N. 11th Street, translates to two blocks north of O Street on… wait for it… 11th Street.

If you’re staying downtown (as you should be) consider the Capitol (that 400 foot tall building that looks like a p-e-n-i-s) to be your southern boundary and Memorial Stadium (can’t miss it) to be your northern boundary. Anything between those two monuments is your weekend playground.

2) BOOZE while the streets of Lincoln may not literally flow with beer like the streets of our Big Ten rival up in Madison, the Star City is no slouch when it comes to ease of opportunity to get wasted. Bars are sprinkled throughout downtown as liberally as cheese on Funeral Potatoes. Walk ten feet in any direction and you will find one.

These are some of our personal favorites.

The downtown section of downtown:

Duffy’s – Home of the Fishbowl. You can literally get a fishbowl filled with booze. Perfect for sharing and making friends. Stay in town until Tuesday and take advantage of Dad’s Beer Night. In 2015 you can still get a beer for only a buck.

A Duffy’s fishbowl. (Photo: @randallrex14)

Yia Yia’s – Great selection of regional and national microbrews. Best pizza in Lincoln.

Sandy’s – Get an Elk Creek or five and spend a nice night sleeping on the sidewalk under the stars.

O’Rourke’s – Last call in Lincoln is 2am for most spots and O’Rouke’s will keep serving right up until the moment the clock strikes 2. Plus, you can get beer to go here or “off-sale” as the locals call it.

The Brass Rail – If Greek letters permanently adorn any part of your person, you’ll be right at home. Often named one of the best college bars in the US by the scandalous Playboy Magazine.

Zoo Bar – While Donnie and Marie would never play here, this is a great place for live music.

Cliff’s Lounge – Pay tribute to the guy who invented Cliff’s Notes (seriously) by ordering a cocktail served in a pint glass.

The Watering Hole – Chicken wings and beer. Two of man’s most glorious inventions.

The Haymarket section of downtown:

Lazlo’s – Home of Nebraska’s largest microbrewery and one of the best restaurants in Lincoln.

Barry’s – Can’t go wrong with making this classic Lincoln sports bar your game day HQ.

Vega – Live music venue with a tailgate parting on game day.

Brewskys – The most self-explanatory place on this list.

If you need caffeine the morning after, The Mill is the best coffee shop in Lincoln.

HOW TO DRESS: When you step out on the town, be sure to proudly, but not boastfully, wear your BYU gear, so you can be easily identified by any Husker fans who’d like to buy you a drink. As strange as it sounds, Nebraska folk love being good hosts to out-of-towners. Anyone living outside Nebraska’s borders is considered an exotic specimen who will no doubt add a dash of excitement to another humdrum day of watching the corn grow.

Like politics and religion, there’s is some decorum that must be followed when talking football with Husker fans. It’s always best to keep things on the complimentary side. If you stick to the following talking points, you’ll be the new best friend of everyone wearing red in no time.

“Coach Osborne sure is a legend. You can almost feel his presence in the air.”

“No matter what they say, I still believe the 1995 Huskers squad was the best team of all-time. The Heisman should have gone to that Tommie Frazier.”

“Ameer Abdullah and Ndamukong Suh are both on my fantasy team.”

“I’d love to see Nebraska go back to the option some day.”

“After everything that happened last season, I’m just glad to see Nebraska moving in a positive direction.” **

TAILGATING: While the campus is technically a dry one, authorities tend to look the other way when it comes to adults with valuable booster money drinking. The key is to put whatever adult beverage you’re drinking into a plastic cup. And the best part, the same rules for walking around Lincoln apply to tailgating but even more so. If you’re hungry or thirsty before the game, just walk among the throngs of tailgaters and marvel at how quickly a Husker fan fixes you a plate and hands you a beverage.

If you ever wanted to have strangers hand you assorted meats, a Husker tailgate is the place to be.

FINAL BIT OF ADVICE: If you’re roaming around downtown and feel the need to tinkle, it’s totally cool to dip into an alley to relive yourself. In fact, it is heartily encouraged. Those Lincoln bike cops cruising the streets like they’re on a mission? They won’t give you a ticket. No way, no how. Heck, they’ll even play lookout for you. Scout’s honor.

**Like those of the Jewish faith not mentioning g-d or Muslims drawing a portrait of Allah, it is best to save yourself any potential trouble and never mention former head coach Bo Pelini by name.

He is still quite the polarizing figure among Husker Nation.