jake cotton Archives | Big Red Fury | The Fun Side of Husker football

How do you Google?

Thanks to the wonderful powers of magic, it’s easy to see exactly how some of you have used the Google when it comes to finding this little corner of the Husker internet. Most searches were bland and normal, some were a little crazy, and a few are worth immortalizing.

These are the top 25 Google searches that have lead people to Big Red Fury.

25. husker fanny pack

Pity the fool who got one of these for Christmas.

24. scott frost girlfriend

Don’t know who Scott is currently dating but on more than a few occasions I did witness him cruising for chicks in his Wood River letterman jacket at the Conestoga Mall way back in the day.

23. mike riley affair

Wait… what? Does Coach Riley have a secret sidepiece a la Frank Solich?

22. tim miles dumb

After this week’s loss against Iowa, Coach Miles is probably more frustrated than dumb.

21. wisconsion badger racoon selfie

Have you ever seen so much confusion in only four words? There may be two Os in Goose but there’s only one O in Wisconsin. We’ll just leave it at that.

20. selfie de old yeller

Not to sound like a broken record but have you ever seen so much confusion in only four words?

19. faux pelini knock knock joke about new head coach

If you have to turn to the Google to find a knock-knock joke that was made on the Twitter, how are you able to even dress yourself in the morning? This search was so bizarre Faux had to know about it.

18. nebraska cornhuskers suck

Hey now.

17. dirk chatelin writer omaha world herals paper

From this point forward, the World-Herald will now be referred to as the World-Herals and Dirk Chatelin is the evil twin of Dirk Chatelain.

16. usc song girls at the holiday bowl

15. holiday bowl usc cheerleaders

14. usc song girls holiday bowl

13. holiday bowl 2014 song girls

12. song girls usc nebraska

When in doubt, boobs in sweaters get the page views. Every time. Thank you for reading this far. Song Girls are your reward.

11. analysis of the bad news bears

Uh OK. Through the lens of 2015, the original Bad News Bears is a wonderful time capsule, capturing a bygone era where causal racism, drunk driving, and beating kids in public were all socially acceptable. Its underlying theme of valuing fun over competition and doing the best you can remains true to this day.

10. forum huskermax www tunnel walk shame

After a long season, all Husker sites start looking alike.

9. gif jake cotton knocked over by jedi husker

Poor guy will never live that down.

8. which husker player recorded bo meeting

That’s a secret we’d all love to know. Maybe the Omaha World-Herals’ Dirk Chatelin will tell us some day.

7. bear riding a shark

Seriously. This one warms the cockles of my heart so much.

6. mike riley gotta make dur

Mike Riley gotta make dur what? Big bucks? Playoffs? Dur-licious tacos?

5. mike riley is full of shit

I respectfully disagree. Coach Riley seems like a very nice and sincere guy.

4. is ron brown going to be able to stay coaching at ne after peleni let go

You very easily could have been reading a list of the top 25 Google searches for Ron Brown. This was by far the best.

3. does bo pelini hate dirk chatelain

Think we all know the answer to that one.

2. is bo pelini on the cusp

How little did we know.

1. peace out bitches pelini

What do you think Pelini is up to right now? Not trolling. Just curious.

With the Huskers busy trying to decide if tight end is a position that needs to be part of the Red Storm, we took the liberty of coming up with Halloween costume ideas for players and coaches.

Bo Pelini as James Bond

Pelini. Bo Pelini. Maybe it’s their similar haircut and head shape but we’ve always thought Bo could make a good Danial Craig James Bond. We sincerely believe that. This is not an attempt to try and suck up to Bo. Nope. No way.

Kenny Bell as Irwin Maurice Fletcher

Fletch was listed at 6’9″ with his afro so Kenny gives up a little height but his speed would make him a terror around the perimeter. All we ask is that he doesn’t put his Halloween bar tab on the Underhill account. It’s way too late in the season and his career for an NCAA violation.
*Random sad but true story: When I first saw Fletch as a kid, I really thought he played on the Lakers.

Ron Brown as Morpheus

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one who must walk though it and accept Jesus in your heart.”

Jordan Westerkamp as Bo “Bandit” Darville

Jordan already has the ‘stache. He just needs a cowboy hat and a bad ass 1977 Pontiac Trans Am.

John Papuchis as Igor

Like Frankenstein’s monster, this pick is a no-brainer and one that we’ve covered before.

Randy Gregory as Charles Jefferson

We’re gonna go out on a limb and assume that Randy has never seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High. We’ll also go out on a limb and assume that he’d enjoy going trick-or-treating as the most badass football player in movie history. The game footage between the Ridgemont Wolves and Lincoln High may be horribly dated but we’re pleased to report that the PHOEBE CATES BIKINI SCENE looks as good as ever.

Barney Cotton as Major John D. “Mac” McGillis

As the sire of three Huskers, it’s safe to say Coach Cotton is a major dad so it’s only fitting he dress as one. Maybe once in costume, he’d get into the character and yell at himself for a while. Or has being perpetually mad at Barney stopped being a thing?

Jake Cotton as Leatherface

He’s got the same vacant expression and hair. All Jake needs is to shop for a chainsaw on sites like thetoolboss.com and he’s good to go as long as he remembers that Halloween is on the 31st. Because going trick-or-treating on the 30th would be a false start.

Ameer Abdullah as Carlton Banks

We know Ameer’s got all the right moves on the field but can they fly in stuffy Bel-Air? How meta would it be if Ameer did his own tribute to the Carlton on Dancing With The Stars 10 – 15 years from now?

Big Red Fury | The Fun Side of Husker football

Tag Archives: jake cotton

Our Top 25 Google Search Terms

Halloween Huskers

GBR always.