Tag Archives: football

23 Reasons For Husker Fans To Be Thankful

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, let’s take a timeout from this year’s edition of Husker Turmoil and rundown a few reasons why Husker fans should be thankful, even though another stupid season has gone the tubes.

In no particular order (other than the order in which we thought of them) –

1. The Mighty Runza.

runza
It’s a big, beefy Twinkie that confuses and sometimes disgusts those unlucky souls not from Nebraska.

On a totally unrelated note, do you realize people from Ohio eat this slop by the shovel-load and they like it?

cinn-chili-and-tom-cohl-salad-dressing-034
Cincinnati Chili

2. Taco John’s Six Pack and a Pound.

Taco John's Six Pack and a Pound

(I nearly had a heart attack just learning that my daily lunch in high school packs 5,400 calories.)

3. Der Viener Schlinger

Der Viener Schlinger

True story: This thing was supposed to be called the Dog-in-ator but the whole idea of putting the name up to a fan vote backfired when Der Viener Schlinger was the overwhelming favorite.

Is it obvious that we haven’t had lunch yet?

4. Our coach (for now) may have had to issue an apology for justly speaking his mind about fair weathered boo birds during a private conversation but at least he’s never had to give a press conference (made extra awkward by a mangled face and neck brace) explaining why he was out for a motorcycle ride with a perky young intern who was his payroll.

Way to never officially get caught while at Nebraska, Uncle Carl!

120406_bobby_petrino_neck_brace.nbcsports-story-612

5. Taylor Martinez.

When a few years go by and memories start blurring, may everyone remember him as he was against Kansas State as a freshman.

6. Shevin Wiggins‘ Foot.

That 60 – 3 run and a third national title in the 90’s all hinged on one magical foot.

7. We had a coach who could have had a fourth national title but had big enough stones to play for the win.

8. The Fullback Trap.

When a championship is on the line,  just give the ball to the kid from Small Town, Nebraska. Twice.

9. The Skinny Assassin.

10. And all the other crazy heart stopping wins in the Bo Pelini era.

Ohio State 2011

Wisconsin 2012

Michigan State 2012

Northwestern 2013

Michigan 2013

McNeese State 2014

11. The #TommyBomb

Tommy Armstrong might not complete a lot of passes but the ones that are caught can be pretty impressive.

12. This kid.

13. How ’bout that time the Huskers made Steve Spurrier sad?

14. DJ Mikey Bo’s Tunnel Walk Remix never caught on.

15. The 1995 Tunnel Walk is still a classic.

16. That time Ndamukong Suh set the tone for their relationship should he and Colt McCoy ever end up living together in a prison cell.

17. Houston Nutt never coached the Huskers.

Houston Nutt

18. That time Peyton Manning met the Blackshirts.

19. Rex Burkhead.

20. Ameer Abdullah.

21. This Husker legacy highlight real that is impossible for a fan to watch without getting a little misty-eyed and having the urge to run through a wall for the Big Red.

22. And we can’t forget about Kenny Bell.

23. Even going 8-4 is a heck of a lot better than 4-8.

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So long Losers: Your Huskers vs Gophers Senior Day Preview

Senior Day has finally arrived for an unlucky group of 13 Huskers who were never able to escape the gravity of mediocrity. Over the course of four seasons, they  stumbled their way to a 36 – 14 record (so far). That’s a paltry winning percentage of only 72%  and a full a 11% lower than Tom Osborne coached teams.

If Bo Pelini and company and are truly focused and committed to  building a program that wins championships, Senior Day shouldn’t be a celebration but a chance to tell these 13 non-achievers to hit the skids. As a final parting gift to fans, Kenny Bell should insist his name be wiped from the record book for stealing the records of a man who had what it took to win not one but two National Championships.

At this point in the season, why even let the seniors play when those who will be back in 2015 could be on the field getting valuable experience?

Before you declare the idea of Bo pulling the plug on an ultimately fruitless season to be hogwash, think about all the times you’ve ever hit reset on a video game before getting your ass fully kicked. Benching the seniors in favor of fresh meat with a desire to win is the same damn thing, just in real life. Those chumps had four years to get it done and couldn’t. So what’s the big deal if they don’t play the last three games?

You want to see a competition at quarterback? Give Armstrong, Fyfe, and Stanton each a quarter and whoever plays the best gets the fourth as a reward. You want crisp and precise plays? Run them again and again until they get it right. Clearly the practice squad isn’t putting up enough of a real world test so why not use meaningless games as practice?

Sure, the Huskers could go on a roll and win out the season but really, who does an 11 – 2 record impress? Only losers who don’t have championship standards.

If your blood is starting  to boil right now or at the very least you’re having a WTF? moment, congrats. You can keep reading.

To those of you who found this blatant trolling to be brilliant, out of the box thinking, please go find a different corner of the internet to waste your time.

This is a site for Husker fans who stick together in all kinds of weather no matter how lopsided the score. We’re with these guys all the way, just as long as they don’t do something dumb like showing their wiener to a convenience store clerk.

Scouting Report: Minnesota is just like Wisconsin except not as good. So get ready for a few flashbacks to last week. The Golden Gophers own the Huskers in the overall series 30-22-2 but have only won twice since 1959 with their most recent wins coming in 1960 and 2013. (We’ll go ahead and pretend last year’s game didn’t happen.)

Golden Gopher head coach Jerry Kill is pretty much his team’s biggest story. Unlike “former rising star” Bo Pelini, Kill’s 24-24 record at Minnesota is already the stuff of legend. Last season his team notched an unprecedented eight wins! This year, Coach Kill has thankfully gotten his health in order but he’s still a dick for abandoning his previous post at Northern Illinois team ahead of the Humanitarian Bowl for the greener pastures of Minnesota. Remember how Pelini stuck with LSU until after they finished the job of winning a national championship?

Bo Pelini Drunk
Bo Pelini, a man of his word.

Confidence: It’s the word of the week for Husker beat writers. Depending on your source, either Tim Beck needs to regain confidence in his play calling or he needs to give Tommy Armstrong a shot in the arm, ideally his non-throwing one because that cannon needs all the help it can get to be properly re-sighted and calibrated.

Here’s hoping they spent some quality time listening to Matt Foley.

Honestly, it’s a coin toss as to what kind of Huskers team we’ll see on Saturday.  The Huskers are either going to live out Carl Spackler’s wildest fantasies or get a golden shower from the Golden Gophers on their home turf. Let’s just hope it’s the former.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppxJ2P2pe4k

Ideal Scenario: The Huskers get the win, sending the seniors off on a positive note and go undefeated at home for the first time since 2012. It doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to get done. It’d be great to see Ameer bust off one more long run at home and see Kenny Bell haul in one last #TommyBomb. Players like those guys don’t come around often and it’s been a real treat to see them play. Btw, did you know all 13 seniors will have graduated by December? Pretty impressive.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 8 – this is an all-time high. With the game on ESPN and last week’s meltdown still a gross, oozing wound, don’t be surprised if ESPN has a camera just for Bo.

Question That Needs an Answer: Can the Huskers rebound or will they shit the bed a second week in a row?

 

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Who Woke Up Still Mad About What Happened in Madison?

Welcome to Monday! So how about that game up in Madison? Still upset? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

A lot of fans started off their week by waking up with a rage boner about the Huskers and Pelini.

Here are some selected highlights. Just click the linked hashtags to get a real-time update. Things could really heat up when the weekly press conference kicks off at 11am Central.

Searching #Huskers

I’d bet big money @jeremywidner wrote this on the can.

Trolling the homestate team and trying to drive lunchtime business. Poor form @DonohuesPub.

This tweet comes on Monday because took all day because R&D took all day Sunday.

Searching #FirePelini

The rage torches must have been extinguished because these tweets slowed to a crawl very quickly.

#SocialActivism!

So according to his infographic, an average of 34 teams a year finish with 9 wins? WTF? This makes no sense. We may need to do some research.

If you’re going to stoop to using a meme generator, at least use some of the time you save to crop out the watermark and class things up a bit.

And finally, to add an air of mystery to things, twitter user @FirePelini hasn’t tweeted in over a year?

Did come to accept Pelini is here to stay?

Did he run out of data on his Go Phone?

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Remembering Kenny Bell’s Greatest Hit

How special is Kenny Bell?

Special enough that when his record-setting career at Nebraska ends, he’ll leave behind a legacy as one of the greatest Husker receivers ever. And his greatest moment won’t even be a catch.

IT WILL BE HIS EARTH SHAKING, BONE RATTLING, SOUL CRUSHING, JAW DROPPING, PANTS POOPING BLOCK THAT SENT AN UNSUSPECTING WISCONSIN BADGER INTO A WORLD OF PAIN AND BECAME THE STUFF OF INTERNET LORE.

Poor Devin Smith never stood a chance.

Eventually Devin was able to scrape himself off the turf at Lucas Oil Field and signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers. In a rather ironic twist, he’s currently on their Injured Reserved list.

Earlier this week I reached out to him to see if he was interested in reminiscing about that time he got destroyed by Kenny Bell.

I never heard back but luckily there’s a Plan B.

I have a friend named Devin who was happy to sub-in.

He’s an Oregon grad and was a staff member on their women’s volleyball team. He spent some quality time in Omaha a few years ago during the Final Four. For the record, it was I, not he, who brought up the fact that the Ducks bumped off the Huskers on their own turf.

Devin has never seen Kenny in action so when I pulled up his monster hit, he was watching it for the first time, the very first time.

ME: Here it comes… wait for it.
DEVIN: Oh Fuck!
ME: Pretty impressive, huh?
DEVIN: That might be the biggest hit I’ve ever seen. The only one worse than that might be Reggie Bush. Can we watch it again?

KENNY BELL BLOCK
Devin pinpoints the exact moment, Devin Smith’s soul made a hasty exit from his suddenly limp and lifeless body.

ME: Do you think you could have handled that hit?
DEVIN: No way. As a fellow Devin I really feel his pain.
ME: How was your time in Nebraska?
DEVIN: It was nice. It was cold. Good steaks. Really good steaks.
ME: How long were in you in Omaha?
DEVIN: A week, week and a half or so.
ME: Did you try a Runza?
DEVIN: No… I don’t even know what that is.
ME: Did you go to Taco John’s?
DEVIN: Nope. I went to Chiptole. Nothing really stuck out besides the steaks.
ME: We’re the fans nice?
DEVIN: Surprisingly. Is this interview about the hit or are we just going to talk about Nebraska?
ME: Do you think the hit was legal?
DEVIN: 100%
ME: Even with the score the way it was?
DEVIN: They’re just trying to get back in it, man.
ME: If Kenny Bell had a nickname, what do you think it would be?
DEVIN: Uh, the Bell Ringer?
ME: That’s actually really good. What if I told you it was Afro Thunder?
DEVIN: Even better.
ME: Kenny’s pretty much going to end his career as Nebraska’s best receiver ever. He’s breaking records that were set by a Heisman Trophy winner back in 1971. If his greatest play was this block, what does that say to you?
DEVIN: That he needs to add some more flair to his catches.

We take a timeout and watch this-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pOSlkOAZGE

DEVIN: Holy shit! Was that one handed? This dude is incredible.

Yes, yes, he is incredible.

Welcome to the Kenny Bell fan club, Devin.

 

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A Wisconsin Horror Story

This is a story about the time Nebraska played Wisconsin for the Big Ten Championship.

It’s a night Husker Nation would love to forget but the gruesome events that transpired on December 1, 2012 will be forever seared into the collective psyche of the unfortunate souls who witnessed the massacre at Lucas Oil Field.

While I was lucky enough to not see a single second of the game live, I felt nearly every Badger gut punch in real-time.

On that fateful night, two of my favorite things collided. It was a classic case of the unstoppable force vs the immovable object. In one corner you had the Huskers’ showdown with Wisconsin and in the other, my biggest cyclocross race of the 2012 campaign. It was getting late in the season and I was locked in a vicious battle for a mediocre ranking in a mediocre division. It was a race I couldn’t afford to skip. (Full disclosure: amateur bicycle racing has about as much at stake as a slow pitch softball league.)

My race started at 5:15, the same time as kickoff. With a little luck, I could make it to the watch site in time for the second half. The only snag in the plan was the weather. It was as bad as it could get for Los Angeles in December, low 50’s and rain flying in all directions. Thanks to a couple of ill-timed crashes late in the race, I plummeted out of a spot comfortably in the top ten and crossed the finish line in a battered 21st place, soaking wet and covered in mud from head to toe. For the record, it was a very hard fought 21st place. I didn’t quit and kept racing to the end.

As soon as I recombulated myself, I made a beeline to the car and dug out my phone to get an update on the game.

36 new texts were waiting for me. Immediately, my mind start racing about I how could possibly fill all the requests for Rose Bowl couch space without ending up divorced.

Then I started reading the messages.

They started out hopeful. Some Huskers! and GBRs! around kick off. My brother sent me a pic from his seats at the game. An enterprising buddy who knew of my personal crisis recorded T-Magic’s ridiculous touchdown run off his TV and sent me the video.

He closed his message by saying “It’s still early. Hope the Huskers can make a comeback.”

Wait, what? Taylor’s run made the score 14 – 7. The Huskers were only down a TD. So what. They’ve come back from much worse.

Then I checked the current score. 35 – 10 Wisconsin.

If the Huskers could get to 17 by the half, a victory for the Big Red would not be out of the picture. By the time I finished my comeback calculations, they staggered off the field down 42 – 10.

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do. I was all packed up and ready to go watch the game but I wasn’t about to schlep over Hollywood just to be the muddy faced weirdo who randomly showed up for the second half.

In a daze, I walked back over to our team’s area on the race course. There would be beer there. I was greeted by a teammate who went to CU and was in the stands for the Huskers meltdown in 2001. “I saw the score. Sorry man. I don’t even know what to say. It’s just brutal.”

We then hugged it out as only people who understand the misery of college football can do.

Texts continued to pour in. Even friends who couldn’t pick a Husker uniform out of a police line up were checking on my well being.

We’re at a bar and saw some scores on the TV. Nebraska’s your team, right? Hope you’re OK. If you need anything give us a call. We’re here for you.

Hey dude. Holla back so I know you’re still with us. Suicide is never a good option.

Stay strong buddy. It’s only a game.

Sorry about the Huskers. Do you have any connections for Rose Bowl tickets?

What happened to the Huskers? Sorry we keep racking up the score. Not.

 That’s what revenge is all about!

Do you have any room at your place if we come out for the Rose Bowl? We promise we won’t wear any Badger gear in the house.

As luck would have it, half my family hails from Wisconsin. Most are UW alums and all are avid sports fans. Packers, Brewers,  and the Badgers and apparently not just for basketball.

I never heard a peep out of any of them about Badger football until Nebraska first met Wisconsin as a member of the Big Ten. Once they blew out the Huskers on their home field, the floodgates opened. Seriously, they could teach a class on Reddit about how to troll for maximum effect.

When Nebraska returned the favor the following year, I took the TO high road and didn’t say a word and neither did they. Unfortunately, their silence just meant they were working on material for the championship game.

It got so bad I turned my phone off midway through the third quarter and didn’t turn it back on until sometime Sunday afternoon.

A text from my brother was waiting for me. It was short. Simple. And to the point.

Dude. I was so depressed I went back to the hotel and ate a $60 steak with my bare hands.

And fuck those cheeseheads!

Can’t wait to see how Saturday plays out.

GBR.

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Dirk Chatelain: Man of Mystery

Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain is like a puzzle wrapped in an enigma.

In his latest Mad Chatter column, in which he ponders Nebraska’s glorious home slate had they stayed in the Big 12 with West Virgina’s schedule, he dropped a nugget of info in the lead sentence that continues to confound us days later.

Here’s his opening:

Saturday night I’m walking to my car at 21st and R Streets (a long way from Memorial Stadium) when I got to thinking about Nebraska football’s sad relationship with the Big Ten.

Living in Los Angeles, parking will ingrain itself as a major obsession whether you want it to or not. You just can’t help it. So when Omaha World-Herald Staff Writer Dirk Chatelain mentioned he parked all the way down at 21st and R, that got our wheels spinning more than the BS hypothetical situations he was spewing out.

Doesn’t the Omaha World-Herald spring for parking at least in the same ZIP code as Memorial Stadium? You’d think all the web traffic Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain drives could translate into a few perks.

Doesn’t the Husker sports information department provide parking passes for beloved media juggernauts like Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain?

If the Husker sports information department doesn’t dole out parking passes, surely they could provide a shuttle service so that Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain doesn’t have to walk halfway back to Omaha to get his car, right?

Why didn’t Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain simply hail an Uber? By the time he wrapped up his post-game duties, surge pricing would be over meaning his ride would be $5 – 7 at most. And when you factor in not having to pay for a prime parking spot near the stadium, you could even end up saving money with an Uber. But why does that even matter because Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain has a legit expense account, right?

Even if he didn’t want to spend the money, why didn’t Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain pull an Ochocinco and harness the power of his 14,000+ Twtter followers for a ride? One can only imagine the mad rush to pick him up would play out like a fan-made Fast and Furious movie. Who in their right mind wouldn’t burn a little rubber and run a few stop signs for the chance to do Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain a favor on a Saturday night?

But what exactly is around 21st and R streets anyway?
WHERE DIRK PARKS
A look at the Google tells shows us that the intersection of 21st & R doesn’t technically exist.

That means Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain was either being very general with his description or he was being precise and he actually parks in a field far, far away from the stadium for the same reason Patrick Swayze drove a beater in Road House.

Or… a third option… Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain was cunningly feeding the trolls and haters by fibbing all along and doesn’t actually park at 21st and R.

As someone who incited the rage of East Campus for a solid two out of five years during my time at Husker U, I know all too well that motivated angry people will stop at nothing to find you to “have a few words” in real life and can be easily fooled.

Much like Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain name checking his 21st and R parking spot, I once mentioned in print that I loved starting each morning with a spirited run around the state capitol. I can’t remember why I even said I was a avid morning runner but it was a statement that was full of crap.

A week later, a friend who had a class on East Campus called. She was equal parts mortified and amused. Apparently a couple of farmer types in her class were complaining to each other that I was nowhere to be found on the sidewalks ringing the Penis of the Plains.

In other words, they were running a stakeout to find me. Knowing full well how much I was disliked, a vigorous bull dogging would have been the least to expect.

So well played with your fictitious parking spot, Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatlain. Well played.

Here’s hoping you do a drive-by after the Minnesota game and snag a photo of your most loyal readers milling about in a vacant lot with axe handles and lead pipes.

 

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Blackshirts, and Rutgers, and Bo Pelini! Oh my!

Looks like Bo Pelini ran into some #kappa ladies tonight.

Go ahead and mock Pelini’s deer-in-the-headlights look all you want but if you were a married guy who was suddenly swarmed by half a dozen ready-to-party Kappa alums outside a hotel you’d be instantly terrified once the cameras came out.

The biggest news out of Lincoln this week was that Blackshirts were handed out. While Husker Nation seems to have accepted the fact that traditions can evolve over time (or they could have simply forgotten that Blackshirts are still an actual thing on the practice field), there was some confusion about whether or not they’d be worn on game day.
Blackshirts
Black Shirt Confusion

Joel, I was in your boat once. It was November 20, 1987. The day before Game of the Century II. In front of my entire sixth grade class, I asked our teacher if the Huskers would be wearing their Blackshirts because it was such a big game. I was laughed right out of the room.

Blackshirts Stupid

You know what else is stupid? Calling something stupid while not knowing difference between there and they’re. You were so close, David A Adams.

Last year, seven players were awarded Blackshirts before the start of the season. With an unproven defense heading into 2014, there was certainly nothing wrong with Pelini and Papuchis waiting to award the coveted jerseys.

The only concern is that handing out Blackshirts ahead of the Rutgers game really sets the stage for the Scarlet Knights to come in and take a big ol’ dump on the season. The moment news of the jerseys appearing hit the interwebs, a bad feeling started to sink in.

The last time the Huskers played at 11am, McNeese State was the opponent and we all know how that went.

If Pelini can keep the Blackshirts from letting their new Blackshirts go to their heads, things should be OK. But keep in mind that if this streak of four losses a season is to continue, the Huskers need to start losing some games.

So on that optimistic note, here’s our preview-

Confidence: See the above paragraph but take it with a grain of salt. Just because we have a bad feeling doesn’t mean you have to. Don’t forget that Rutgers did open their season by beating Washington State, the most perplexing 2 – 5 team of 2014, on the road.

Scouting Report: Between a bout of food poisoning and other extra curricular activities, this week has been a wash so we’ll turn things over to Brian Christopherson and Steven M. Sipple.

http://youtu.be/77CaKK-ceMw

Sip’s I-slept-in-my-car-but-have-a-hell-of-a-story camera presence makes us want to have a beer or five with the guy sometime.

Ideal Scenario: Ameer breaks a buck fifty on the ground with a couple of long TD’s. The early start time will give extra chances for air time during highlight packages throughout the day. The offensive line doesn’t do anything too offensive. Kenny Bell breaks a long standing record but doesn’t celebrate by robbing a gas station. The Blackshirts live up to their own name. By the final whistle, it’s a good quick game over before lunchtime sets in here on the West Coast.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 5 — The game is on ESPN2 and it wouldn’t be surprising if the “Worldwide Leader in Sports” wanted a little get-back after Pelini’s SEC comments this week.

A Question That Needs an Answer: Will Johnny Stanton see the field again this season?

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Recap: Huskers Make Wildcats Grumpy, Husker Fans Stay Grumpy

After a frustrating first half filled with near misses, the Huskers fired on cylinders for the final 30 minutes, scoring 24 unanswered points and neutering the Northwestern Wildcats to the tune of a 38 – 17 final score.

Defibrillators were pulled off standby (for at least one year anyway) as the Huskers romped through the 4th quarter. While last second Hail Mary drama is always exciting, an almost relaxing and cathartic win is welcome anytime.

Following the game, the Husker Athletic Department pointed out that the Big Red had clinched a bowl berth for the seventh consecutive year under Bo Pelini.

However, Joshua Brixius was far from sold on the idea that the Husker Athletic Department would actually know where the team stood with regards to bowl eligibility. He was so confident with calling out their lies that he didn’t even have to do any research for confirmation.
Screen Shot 2014-10-21 at 7.54.13 AM

Boom. Posted on Facebook and in your face, no nothing Athletic Department.

At least Joshua was gracious in being clarified.

The other big story in the game was the Huskers second half adjustments (or lack of) depending who you believe.

Huskers Adjustments

In his post game comments, Coach Pelini said his team didn’t need to make too many adjustments for the second half. They just needed to play better.

Playing better is technically an “adjustment.”

The other angle that Loren doesn’t grasp is why would any coach in his right mind use his post game press conference to diagram exactly what his team changed in the second half? You gotta keep those details close to the vest, my friend.

The biggest adjustment of all came late in the first half when the Huskers suddenly found themselves down 14 – 7 with under two minutes to play.

Two plays, 56 yards, and 30 seconds later Tim Beck called a new play called Texas.

Faced with a quarterback lacking touch on passes under 40 yards and his most reliable receiver riding a four dropped ball streak, Coach Beck called the play any sane and rational offensive coordinator would dial up at 1st and 10 on your opponent’s 16 yard line.

His touch lacking QB handed the ball of to the Heisman contending running back who then flipped it to a speedy but otherwise unproven Freshman wide receiver who then threw a perfect strike to his quarterback who was heading towards the end zone all alone.

So to recap, when your quarterback can’t throw, and your receiver can’t catch, you have your receiver throw to your quarterback.

Makes perfect sense.

And it makes us think that Texas was just a codename for a play called “The Ultimate Fuck You Adjustment.”

We can’t wait to see what Coach Beck draws up next.

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Tim Beck Speaks, Husker Fans Light Their Torches

Last night Offensive Coordinator Tim Beck broke his vow of silence that had been self-imposed since the McNeese State game.

Naturally, Husker fans (aka the classiest fans in all of college football) came out of the woodwork and were all too eager to welcome him back into their comforting bosom.

From the Husker Extra Facebook page
TIM BECK

Out of 51 comments (so far) about 10% call for Tim Beck to go kick rocks- aka go back to Kansas.
Mad Husker Fans

And you wonder why the guy doesn’t feel like speaking to the media. Imagine the venom if his Red Storm offense fell outside of a top 10 national ranking.

If mainstream internet rage existed back during the 1991 – 92 seasons, there’s no way Tom Osborne would have made it to 1994. If you think Tim Beck runs the same unimaginative plays, you clearly don’t remember the dark ages of the early 90’s.  I-formations, short side options, 10 passes a game. It was the sort of bland offense that makes a scoop of plain ol’ vanilla look like bubble gum.

And not coincidentally, it was the same offense that was in place during the Husker’s hallowed 60 – 3 run that immediately followed that dark time.

Finally, sticking out in that sea of move-to-Kansas-venom like a golden turd in a silver punchbowl, was this comment.

Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 11.38.13 PM

While we won’t bother to shed light on the fact that Ameer and Rex are still alive and well, we are curious about this Criss character who needs ‘so touches.’

A quick scan of the Huskers’ roster doesn’t show a Criss but there is a Cross who happens to be running back and would potentially touch the ball from time to time, if Tim Beck ever bothered to call his number.

Could Vincent’s errant suggestion to play Criss just be a simple mix up?

Most likely.

Criss… Cross… what’s really the difference?
Peter Criss Imani Cross
Now get out there and block somebody.

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Huskers vs Michigan State, Exhibit ‘A’ For Never Quitting

The clock on the DVR strikes 2am as Saturday night slips into Sunday morning.

On the TV, Nebraska and Michigan State are in the 4th quarter. The Spartans lead 27 – 3 in a contest that was decided hours earlier.

Tommy Armstrong is on the sideline as trainers and medical staff check to see if his internal organs are still in place after suffering a monster hit. Ryker Fyfe is on the field trying to lead the Huskers to double digit holy land. His gangly flailing brings back bad memories of the Huskers’ desperate attempts to score a single touchdown at USC back in 2006.

Meanwhile, I’m on the couch scooping out globs of kale and Greek yogurt dip with my bare hands. The chips were gone before halftime. I’m fully aware of the depressing nature of the situation but the need for an activity, no matter how sad, to help stay awake and see this game through to the bitter end outweighs any personal dignity.

If Husker Nation could suffer through this deflating, gut punch of a game in real-time, the least I can do experience their pain in a half asleep, zombie fog. Plus, it’s not that bad when you can fast forward through the commercials and Kirk Herbstreit monologues.

HAVE I MENTIONED YET THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW THIS GAME IS GOING TO END?

Thanks to the collision of my two favorite teams, Saturday was a day that started with nervous stress and would end in either anguish or joy. There would be no middle ground if either the Huskers or Dodgers lost.

In our 10th season of going to Dodger games together, my wife and I have our system dialed in.  Every little detail down to our seats being in the shade by exactly one row has been honed and refined to an Ocean’s 11 level of precision. It takes between 35 and 50 minutes to get from our driveway to our seats. With kickoff an hour and a half before the first pitch, my only chance to watch the Huskers in real-time was to make sure we arrived at Dodger Stadium extra early.

Throughout the day, I badgered her with every possible angle- watch BP, snag a seat over the bullpen to see Zack Greinke warm up, grab a slice of pizza at Tommy Lasorda’s.

Eventually, ( I think it was the combination of a Rain Man like insistence that we go directly to our seats and pulling out an iPad and a pair of giant headphones the moment we sat down) she caught on to my real motive and left me in peace to scream to my heart’s content in a nearly empty stadium.

Bo Pelini Dodger Stadium

By the time I looked up from the screen, it was halftime. The Huskers were down 17 – 0 in the most brutal way possible and Dodger Stadium was suddenly filled to capacity.

The surreal nature of not noticing 55,000 people chanting “Let’s go Dodgers!” made me realize just how deep I was buried in my mental Husker bunker. Without giving it a second thought, I ripped off the digital Band-Aid and put all the gadgets away and vowed to go off the grid until I watched the second half play out at home.

It was going to hurt but the only way to enjoy the Dodger game was to try and forget about the Huskers.

With Friday’s implosion still a gushing head wound, the game started off tense. The stadium breathed a sigh of relief when the Dodgers jumped out to an early 2 – 0 lead thanks to pitcher Zack Greinke helping his own cause and A.J. Ellis bumping his postseason batting average to .833.

During lulls in the action, I’d compulsively check my phone but pump the brakes before unlocking the screen. By the 5th inning, unread texts outnumbered the Spartans’ score at halftime. Never a good sign.

Things got so desperate at times I’d even look down towards Magic Johnson to see if I could pick up a clue from his body language.

magic johnson dodger stadium
If Magic cheered between innings, there would be no doubt the Huskers were doomed. He never did.

The Dodgers’ two run lead would stand until the 8th inning when Greinke relinquished the mound to the normally reliable J.P. Howell who promptly gave up a moonshot of a game tying home run.

If the St. Louis Cardinals were a college football team, they’d be a mix of a Oklahoma and Texas- an unholy blend of Sooner Magic and Longhorn arrogance. When they eventually sink in that dagger, they will have shanked you the Cardinal Way.

Thanks Matt Kemp’s heroic bomb in the bottom of the 8th, the Dodgers quickly regained the lead and closer Kenley Jansen slammed the door shut in the 9th.  For one night at least, the Cardinal Way could go kick rocks.

Driving home, post game elation started to give way to inevitable dread somewhere around Korea Town. The feeling was like savoring the last bites of a lobster knowing your next stop is the electric chair.

I was a dead man walking as I went straight from our back door to our living room. My last words to my wife were “I’ll be to bed in a while. Need to watch the Nebraska game.”

“Jill and Holly both texted about that,” was her solemn reply. Jill and Holly are her die-hard LSU fan BFFs. If they were checking me, things did not end well.

I settled in on the couch and started from the very beginning. Watching the first half a second time didn’t hurt any less and opened the door for so much second guessing. Punting from Michigan State’s 30 yard line? Why not give Imani Cross a couple carries just to give the Spartans a different sized body to tackle? Will Jake Cotton ever live down being toppled by a ghost? Doesn’t Tim Beck realize plays out of the wildcat often end in disaster?

As Bo Pelini’s teams have shown, being down 17 points isn’t much of a deficit so maybe the second half would be all Nebraska.

That optimism lasted until the Spartans went up 20 – 0. The game still wasn’t technically out of reach but fumbles and stalled drives started to really hurt. The Blackshirts do a good job of keeping Michigan State out of the end zone, for the most part, further delaying the surely inevitable outcome.

The clock ticks under 5 minutes. The scoreboard has long been frozen at 27 – 9 and Spartan Stadium begins to empty out. The temptation to turn off the TV has never been greater but the Huskers are knocking the door of their second TD of the night. A defensive holding penalty and two rushes by Abdullah later, the score is now 27 – 16.

When Michigan State got the ball back, it took a minute for Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit to realize the Huskers were still in it to win it. They’d punched out on paying attention to the game long before the 4th quarter even started so it came as a shock to see Pelini on the sidelines calling timeouts with teeth gnashing fire.

By the time they finished their calculations and realized there was still chance, no matter how remote, that Huskers could come back, Faux Pelini’s new best friend had already punted the ball away to De’Mornay Pierson-El who promptly took it to the house, bringing Nebraska within five points. If barehanded dip eating was the lowest part of the game, screaming into a throw pillow was the absolute zenith.

The Huskers were suddenly looking down the barrel of their greatest comeback ever. A 36 yard MSU field goal attempt getting blocked by the goalpost confirmed this to be true. It was going to happen. It had to.

Four plays later, the game was over. A Michigan State interception sealed their victory after dodging sure death the play before.

Alonzo Moore
Alonzo Moore gave it everything he could to haul in what could have been the game winner for the Huskers.

After the final whistle, I immediately re-watched the last five minutes just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. What I saw the second time around was a Husker team that refused to quit. There would have been no shame if Tommy Armstrong chose to call it a night but he was out there with his team fighting until the very end, throwing lasers when it mattered  the most. Seldom used reserves were stepping up in place of injured teammates and a true freshman added to his quickly growing lore with the most exciting play of the night.

While Bo Pelini will tell you he doesn’t believe in moral victories, the fact his team never stopped believing is a huge testament to their drive and character. For 55 minutes they were getting knocked down and pushed around by both luck and the Spartans but they finally found a way to put themselves in a position to win at the every end. And that’s all you can ask for.

There is no reason to be ashamed of this loss.

* When I woke up the next afternoon, (the finish left me so wired I had to read about the game until the sun came up back in Nebraska) I found out I wasn’t the only one who went cold turkey at halftime.

 

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