Tag Archives: college football

Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Purdue Edition

As Purdue closed out the third quarter by scoring their third unanswered touchdown to go up 42 – 16 , this Huskers’ season reached a turning point.

If you stuck it out to the end to see the Big Red almost steal a victory with a 29 point fourth quarter, congratulations. You are not afraid to go down with the ship.

Yesterday’s game was 3 hours and 45 minutes of gallows humor at its finest. If there was a scene in Titanic where some rapscallions from steerage said F-it and broke into the liquor storage instead of trying to escape,  that would have been the prefect summation of what it was like to watch this game in an empty bar where the staff outnumbered us Husker faithful who showed up for our weekly gut punch. (And no, the scene with the Brandy sipping Guggenheim does not count. He was far too classy.)

Hats off to Ryker Fyke. Dude played his ass off and made up for running game that didn’t make the trip to Indiana by throwing for over 400 yards and leading the Huskers to 45 points but with the Bankshirts getting torched worse than Thích Quảng Đức, his heroic effort was all for naught.

At the rate things have gone so far this season, it honestly won’t be surprising if the Huskers somehow end up rolling Michigan State next Saturday. 

On to the assorted random stuff!

Headlines if the New York Post covered Husker football

Huskers step in big pile of Purdue-do

The Huskers’ Season is Pur-done

Purdue or do not. There is no try. (The Huskers did not try.)

Boilermakers run a train on the Huskers

Mike Purrriley Won’t Be Purring Over Losing to Purdue.

Our Score Prediction

Purdue Score Prediction
Left the house dressed like a champion and couldn’t have been farther off-base with the final score. Get your own “Gamer Tee” at Nebraska Red Zone.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: We have reached DEFCON 1.

Thermonuclear Balloon

Sam Mckewon: Throws absolute hot fire in his post game video. It is a performance for the ages and is a must watch.

Oddest Paragraph In Dirk’s Post Game Column About a Road Trip From Hell: Suddenly it’s 2:30, your iPhone is dead, your wife forgot hers and the baby is waking up. Another turn. Wrong. Another turn. Wrong. 

Uh… Dirk, not keeping a phone charger in your car is just bad planning. You can get one for $8.99 and extra lightning cables are just $5.99. C’mon, buddy. You’re better than that.

And this leads to…

Important Piece of Life Advice #1: Even though you’ve been invited to a friend’s annual Halloween party for five years running, always take a moment to actually read the Evite to save yourself and your lovely wife the hassle and embarrassment of getting all dressed up, slogging through traffic for an hour, only to arrive in beautiful downtown Burbank to discover that the party happened the night before, on Halloween Eve. Lucky for us, it wasn’t a total surprise to our friends that I would pull such a move and they invited us in help them put a dent in the leftover party fare which included scarfing down a container of Jell-O shots.

Important Piece of Life Advice #2: Don’t skip dinner and hope that whatever nutrients are found in a container of Jell-O shots will be an appropriate substitute.

NUMBERS TO DEPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

31,351: The announced attendance at Ross-Ade Stadium which holds 62,500.  Yeah, right. Check out all the empty seats.

55: This was Purdue’s highest point total since they took down Indiana State 56-35 back in 2012. The last time the Boilermakers hung 60 or more points on a team was when they put up 62 against Indiana in 2008.

50: Back in the 1994 Matt Turman game, the Huskers ran the ball 50 times for 168 yards against Kansas State and three-yard-and-a-cloud-of-dusted their way to a 17-6 win on the road. Yesterday, the Huskers ran 22 times for 78 yards with Andy Janovich accounting for all of 2 yards on a pair goal line carries. This was the first time the Huskers have been held to under 100 yards rushing this season.

10: Purdue’s ten point margin of victory was the largest for any of the Huskers’ opponents this season. The next closest was BYU and a Hail Mary that led to a five point blowout. With Purdue’s win factored in, the Huskers’ average margin of defeat has ballooned to  3.83 points.

Even with the annual blowout or two factored in, the last four seasons under Bo Pelini, the Huskers’ average margin of defeat was 11.75 (2014), 16.25 (2013), 21 (2012), 19.75 (2011).

6: The number of Los Angeles fans who had the courage to step out into public to cheer-on the Huskers at our local watch site. We nearly cracked double digits when a UNL professor in town for a visit arrived with her son and daughter-in-law. She teaches leadership at Husker U. and had some great insights about how much work it really is to change the culture of a team but she still doesn’t like to see the Huskers losing how they are.

Husker Fans
Back when the season was still full of hope, this place was standing room only.

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Hey Ryker Fyfe, Your Dad Hated Me. Here’s a Pep Talk.

Hey Ryker-

We’ve never met but I’m pretty sure I saw you as a baby at least once or twice. I know that isn’t exactly grounds for feeling qualified to give someone a pep talk but bear with me. This might all make sense in a moment.

You see Ryker, I was a student at good ol’ Grand Island Senior High when your dad got his career started a year or so before you were born. Can’t recall the specifics of why, but way back then, the only class he “taught” was afternoon study hall in the cafeteria.

Your dad wouldn’t have been much older than you are now and he carried himself with a swagger far beyond that of someone whose job description broke down to sit in a room and make sure no one gets stabbed or pregnant.

He may have also been an assistant football coach back then too but either way, as a former jock himself, he took an instant liking to the current jocks in the room. As a member of the tennis team, I was not worthy of jock status and was treated with the same disdain as the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and dickheads who filled the cafeteria.

As one of several highly observant Grade A smart asses in the room, we didn’t take kindly to this double standard. Dude was in our world now and to us he was nothing more than fresh meat. A rookie who needed to be broken. So we let it rip with all the Barney Fife jokes and assorted heckles our 15-year-old minds could come up with. One of our favorite gags was to see who could do the most blatant impression of your dad’s pigeon-toed strut and not get busted. Oh what a fun gauntlet it was to walk up to him pretending to be him and ask for a hall pass to use the restroom. If things went a step too obvious, you’d get to see him later in detention.

He supervised that too.

There’s no denying that we were huge little assholes back then but when you put a few years between things (along with some introspective and enlightening psychotherapy) it’s clear we were just slightly misguided dipshits in need of positive support and some ADHD meds.

Anyway, your dad was able to welcome a few of us study hall knuckleheads to his world that summer as the head coach of our American Legion Baseball team.  GI High didn’t have a team yet so that was our equivalent to getting to play high school ball.

After tryouts ended and the roster was announced your dad summoned me into a dingy storage room underneath the Ryder Park grandstand. While I had made the team, he told me straight up I should never expect to play and that it might be a better use of my summer if I just quit.

I told him I was just glad to be there and would be happy to contribute however I could. (Getting to the level of fitted hats and metal spikes was a goal I really wanted.) I then went home and proceeded to break some stuff.

Baseball shouldn’t have even been my favorite sport but it was. My “career” got started early when my dad fudged my age so I could get a jump on the competition with a bonus year of tee-ball. He kept this ruse under wraps by also coaching the team but with my parents in middle of a nasty divorce, there were quite a few games where he intentionally forgot to pick me up. For the games that I attended, he refused to let me call him dad and didn’t acknowledge I was his son.

Good times.

Still, I enjoyed baseball and continued to play long after he split. It took a few seasons but I developed into a decent player. Granted, it’d take me until I was halfway to second to show any semblance of speed and my throwing motion made it clear my mom had taught me how to throw but I made up for it at the plate and played hard and mostly smart.

Under your dad, I went 6 – 21 for a robust .286 (a stat I remember only because it still sticks in my craw that I didn’t hit over .300). Still, it wasn’t too shabby for someone getting an at-bat every few games. When the season ended in the playoffs, that was the last time I really interacted with your dad. Never had an actual class with him and the invite to shoot hoops in your backyard that he extended to so many others must have gotten lost in the mail.

The next year I moved up to the Senior League and put together a pretty solid season. After a decade of playing, I notched my first game winning hit, coming off the bench for a 7th inning pinch hit double that earned a four paragraph write up on page 3 of the sports section of The Independent. It was one of the few times I got my name in the local paper for sports and it was a nice moment that still has a spot somewhere in my personal top 100 achievements.

Ryker, when you chose the Huskers over the Lopers, it was because you believed you could play quarterback at the highest level.

It doesn’t matter what the message board heroes or media have to say about how doomed the Huskers are going to be with you at the helm. You’ve been waiting years for a chance to prove your detractors wrong and it has finally arrived.

When you take the field tomorrow, the only person who needs to believe in you is you.

Go out there and have fun, live your dream, lead the Huskers to a win, and get your name in the paper.

You got this, buddy. GBR.

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View from the Boneyard: Northwestern

Ahh, yes. Northwestern. The team that the Huskers always seem to have oddly-close games that go to the very end. The team that fell victim to the Westerkatch. The team I always yell “Nerdwestern” at whenever we play them. Good ol’ Northwestern.

For this game, to go along with the alternate uniforms, The Iron N planned a shirt switch where students were told to arrive in red, and once the defense made their first appearance, put on a black shirt. On top of this, 6,000 Boneyard shirts were given out as students arrived to the stadium.

While I was super excited to hear about the plans, there was one problem: nearly everyone I sit with had to give out the shirts before the game.

My friend Bri (@brihoesing) and I, the two of us not responsible for shirts, arrived at Memorial Stadium before doors open and created our game-plan for saving two entire rows of seats despite only being two people.

There was one problem with our plan, though— Bri has two stress fractures in her foot and is in a boot. I had to pull this off on my own.

Luckily, it was an 11 am game against Northwestern and the Huskers had a 3-4 record, so there weren’t many people there to fight for spots. I found myself spreading out everything I could to stretch out over the rows: my sweatshirt, wallet, sunglasses, cell phone, new Boneyard shirt. Everything.

Bri eventually hobbled down the stairs and was able to help save seats, but we quickly discovered that spreading out our sweatshirts and everything else was going to make the windy 48 degree weather a joy to wait in.

With The Iron N’s directors helping with the shirt distribution, the marketing department needed help carrying the Go Big Red banner to the East Stadium student section. Normally, I’d count myself out as a candidate due to my lack of upper-body strength and my continued fatigue from mono, but when they bribed us with a free sweatshirt, I couldn’t say no. Everyone knows the best kind of sweatshirt is a free sweatshirt on a 48 degree day.

When it came time to actually carry the banner back and forth, I quickly realized that I was pretty much useless. But I was wearing a free sweatshirt, so at least I was useless and happy.

GBRbanner
The GBR banner is ready for action.

If there is one way to get today’s Husker fans on their feet and cheering, it’s bringing out the 1995 championship team during the Tunnel Walk. The student section was deafening with the arrival of the team, despite almost every student being in diapers when the team played, if they had even been born at all. But one thing’s for sure, they can all appreciate everything that team had accomplished.

The shirt switch had happened right away to start the first quarter, creating a sea of black Boneyard shirts for the annual blackout-the-student-section game. I know a lot of the more traditional Husker fans don’t really like the blackouts, but… come on. They look awesome.

The Huskers made it on the board on their first possession with a 43 yard field goal. Much like every other time the Huskers start out with a field goal, a sea of red balloons was released prematurely, causing a domino effect with everyone else that hadn’t released their balloons yet.

Northwestern responded quickly with a 1 yard run by Clayton Thorson, putting the Wildcats up 7-3. (Editor’s Note: Thank you for not mentioning his previous 68 yards.)

The mood in Memorial Stadium changed as Ross Dzuris sacked Thorson for a safety, in which the entire student section danced around with their hands clapped above their hands.

Both teams went scoreless until a pick-six caused the Wildcats to be up by 14-5 on the Huskers with 7:17 left in the half.

The Huskers didn’t take long to respond; a 10 yard pass to Brandon Reilly lead to Nebraska’s first touchdown of the game. Even though it was the first touchdown of the game, there was only a small handful of balloons released since everyone had jumped the gun earlier. Good job, guys.

During the second quarter, students were joined by the President of the University of Nebraska, Hank Bounds. Bounds posed for pictures as the Boneyard waved their flag and held up a fathead of him, which had been staring at me for nearly the entire half. Definitely not creepy, though. Definitely not.

president
This fathead was custom made. It’s not available at the campus bookstore.

Northwestern brought their marching band along for the trip and had them sit in their fan section. Naturally, I had to make a few dumb jokes about how they probably did that because they didn’t have enough fans to sit there, to which most people just rolled their eyes at me. Their band played songs from the Wizard of Oz and Wicked to start off halftime.

The Cornhusker Marching Band came out afterwards and had an entire set dedicated to classic karaoke songs. Nothing makes me realize how bad I am with lyrics like singing along to the marching band, but dang was it fun to scream-sing songs like Sweet Caroline and Livin’ on a Prayer with 89,000 of my closest friends.

The second half saw a lot more scoring, with a touchdown and a field goal for Nebraska and a field goal for Northwestern, putting the Huskers up 22-20.

If you’ve ever been to a game with me, you’ll know that one of my absolute favorite pump-up songs is Higher Ground by TNGHT. I’m sure you can only imagine my reaction to finding out that the Scarlets were dancing to it before the fourth quarter instead of the Huskers using the song to pump up the crowd in between plays. Kind of offended that my partner-in-crime Allison (@aliredredwine) and I weren’t invited on the field during the performance, because we put on quite the show when that song plays.

Normally, having a fourth quarter lead would be an exciting thing. After the past few years, I wouldn’t think twice about having a close game with Northwestern towards the end of the game, considering how close recent wins have been. But this season has conditioned me (and other fans, I’m sure) to not get too comfortable with anything once the final 15 minutes of the game come around.

Suddenly, a completed pass to Dan Vitale for 37 yards for a touchdown put the Wildcats up 27-22. A 27 yard field goal put them up 30-22. The familiar ending was near.

The Huskers answered on the next possession as Tommy Armstrong ran for 3 yards for a touchdown, bringing the score to 30-28. A failed two point conversion kept the Huskers from tying it up.

TommyTD
Tommy Armstrong scores his second touchdown of the day.

At this point, all anyone wanted was to keep Northwestern from scoring and get the Huskers to score something… Anything. These dreams were crushed as an unsportsmanlike conduct on Nebraska gave Northwestern the automatic first down, allowing time to expire.

Fans poured out of Memorial Stadium as the final seconds ticked down. Feeling defeated, I felt it necessary to scream at the Northwestern team to ask them if they remembered the Hail Mary from two years ago. Got ‘em.

Let’s just hope this team likes playing against road games enough to beat Purdue next weekend.

Hayley Archer is a senior Broadcasting major at UNL. Follow her on Twitter at @Harchinator.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Northwestern Edition

Just when you thought it was safe to assume the Huskers had stopped finding new and cruelly inventive ways to lose, the Big Red laid their biggest egg of the year with a mind boggling 28-30 loss to Northwestern.

The game summed up in two gifs.

DwEoXpx
Hans Moleman does his impression of any Husker receiver trying to catch a pass.

Sad-Cornhusker
The speed at which unbearable anguish turns grudging acceptance of one’s fate is incredible.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: Mike’s balloon is now a flaming pile of monkey poo ready to explode.

Mike Riley Poop Balloon

In case you didn’t notice, Back to the Future was in the news a little bit this week for some reason or another. One of the signature gags in the 2015 Marty visited in Back to the Future II, was that the Jaws franchise had worked its way up to a 19th installment.

Back to the Future 2 Jaws 19

As someone who saw BTTF2 in the theatre back in 1989, I can say with good authority that it was a legitimately funny moment because just two years earlier, Jaws: The Revenge delivered the franchise down to Davy Jones Locker and the thought of 15 more Jaws movies was even more preposterous than the idea of the Cubs eventually winning another World Series.

Should the time ever come where Universal gets bored with making Fast and Furious movies and decides to dust off Jaws, they could pick no better team to write films  5-19 than Mike Riley and his coaching staff. In the span of just eight games, they have shown they are the absolute masters of finding new ways to terrify an audience week in and week out.

It’s still too early to give up on these guys but you’d think that after eight games they’d start correcting the problems (pick a problem, any problem) that have been there since the season opener.

NUMBERS TO DEPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

30: More plays the Huskers ran than Northwestern.

21: Jordan Stevenson‘s longest kick return of the day and career so far. His still smoldering red shirt is not going to waste.

18:04: The Huskers’ time of possession advantage over Northwestern.

10.04: How many seconds it took for Northwestern quarterback Clayton Thorson to sputter 68 yards in the first quarter. By comparison, Taylor Martinez‘s 92 yard touchdown run at UCLA in 2012 took 10.92 seconds and he coasted the last 20 yards.

10: The number of different Huskers who, believe it or not, actually caught a pass.

7: The 1995 Huskers’ average yards per run.

6.06: The 2015 Huskers’ average yards per pass with the 1995 squad in attendance.

2: Number of times Andy Janovich carried the ball for a total of for yards.

0: Number of times Devine Ozigbo, aka the running back of the future three weeks ago, carried the ball for a total of 0 yards.

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Sorry, Northwestern. It’s Time For a Vintage Husker Ass Whoopin’.

Northwestern, you had a good three year run as a brainy thorn in Nebraska’s side but know this: last year’s 38-17 throttling on your home turf was just the tip of the iceberg.

It’s high time you accept the fact that your rightful place is down in the dregs of the Big Ten as the purple clad Wildcat that gets an annual beat down from the Big Red.

Christian Peter Huskers
It was really nice of the Big Ten to ensure that the Huskers would still be able to pummel some purple every year just like the good ol’ days of the Big 8/12.

Speaking of good ol’ days, the 1995 Husker squad, aka the greatest college football team in the known universe will be in attendance to celebrate the fact that 20 years have passed since they graced us with their presence on the gridiron. Just the fact that they’re assembled within the same area code as Memorial Stadium is good for at least two bonus touchdowns for the Huskers.

Tommie FrazierThe over/under for the number crab legs Tommie Frazier would take down was set at 62, as in 62-24. Don’t ever think Vegas doesn’t have a sense of humor.

With Mike Riley finally taking down his first legit opponent as head coach of the Huskers last Saturday, he got his first taste of Big Ten blood just like C. Thomas Howell in Red Dawn.

And if that wasn’t enough, we have it on semi-good authority that Coach Riley is ditching his Mister Rogers persona like a prom night dumpster baby for something with a little more attitude thanks to the help of Killer Mike from Run the Jewels.

Killer Mike and Mike Riley
Killer Mike and his new protege Killer Mike Junior.

In other words, you’re doomed, Northwestern.

Granted, you little Wildcats had a nice win against Stanford in the Nerd Bowl and looked pretty impressive blanking Minnesota but you’re coming in to Lincoln just when things are starting to click for the Huskers. The offense is starting to remember what it’s capable of and while the Blackshirts might still be more than a little shaky defending the pass, they at least remembered they too can catch passes and score touchdowns of their own.

And if that wasn’t enough bad news, Northwestern, one of your dozen or so loyal fans had to go make a video that proves Evanston truly is the place where Ivy League rejects find refuge.

Northwestern should really be thankful that Andy Janovich and Jack Gangwish probably haven’t seen this.

That revisionist history lesson was so much worse than Dick Cheney‘s recollection of Iraq War Numero Dos that we were forced to reply via the Twitter just to set the record straight on Cabbage Patch Kids and parachute pants. Seriously, WTF?

Look for Tommy Armstrong to run wild against Northwestern like it’s 2014 all over again.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Minnesota Edition

Clearly, there is something nicer than Mike Riley and that is Minnesota.

Thank you Golden Gophers for going into hiding and letting the Big Red run wild on your home turf and giving the Huskers a much needed 48 – 25 victory.

Wait… who are we kidding?

That was a good old fashioned Husker ass kicking.

Or at least as close as Riley and company could get to an old fashioned Husker ass kicking at this point in their tenure. Either way, it was a sight for sore eyes and the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy is in the possession of Husker Nation for at least a year.

Mike Riley’s first signature win as a Husker. 

The offense actually looked like an offense and the defense (mostly) looked like a defense. The secondary is still the biggest red flag for the Blackshirts as Minnesota quarterback Mitch Leidner had arguably a career day against the Huskers. Only the defense of 1 and 5 Purdue(!) was any worse this season at containing Leidner.

Regardless, winning is always better than losing.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: The flames have been extinguished. Win next week against Northwestern and Mike just might get his balloon back.

Mike Riley Poop Balloon

Our Score Prediction:

If the scoring could have stopped during the third quarter we would have nailed it.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

197: Andy Janovich‘s season rushing total so far, which is the most yardage gained by a Husker fullback since Steve Kriewald rang up 54 yards back in 2004.

69: Dude, Terrell Newby‘s 69 yard touchdown run off a zone read was the Huskers’ longest play of the season and led to the Big Red having a 100 yard rusher for the second time this year. Not that Danny Langsdorf needs to go all Tim Beck with the zone read but here’s hoping the success of that play inspires him to not be so shy turning to the “college football” section of his playbook in the future.

69: Percent, dude. Tommy Armstrong went 18 for 26 on the day with no interceptions, a solid rebound from the last two weeks of completing passes at a 35.5% clip.

6: Jordan Westerkamp made six catches for 76 yards, including a borderline ridiculous 27 yard grab on 3rd and 6 when things were getting a little tense in the fourth quarter. In the previous two games against Illinois and Wisconsin, Westerkamp had 3 receptions for a grand total of 17 yards.

2: The Huskers only had TWO penalties! They’re going to have break out the folding chairs and foreign objects next week against Northwestern if they’re serious about keeping the title as the most penalized team in college football.

0.2: Michigan State’s win probability percentage before Michigan’s ill-fated punt attempt to close out the game. Thank you Jim Harbaugh for making the world instantly forget about any of the Huskers’ last second meltdowns this season.

38 – 8: South Dakota State (aka the same Jackrabbits the Huskers played in 2013) scampered over to Youngstown, Ohio and thumped Bo Pelini’s Penguins 38 – 8.  This is the second consecutive game the ‘Guins have dropped and marks their first blowout loss of the season.

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An Annual Reminder That Nothing Hurts Like A Husker Loss

I spent last night at Dodger Stadium with 54,000 of my closest friends trying to will the Boys in Blue to a series clinching win over the New York Mets.

It was the second time I’ve been in the crowd to see Dodgers bounced from the playoffs. And if you’re keeping score at home, this is the third consecutive year they’ve made an early exit.

No matter how inevitable, seeing your team eliminated is never an easy transition. There just isn’t the neatly scheduled conclusion of a college football season. So much can hang in the balance of a single game.

Had the Dodgers won, my brother, whose lifelong Cubs fandom was galvanized after seven years of living in Chicago, celebrated their series victory by inviting himself out for games 6 and 7 if the NLCS went that far. As someone who made a clean break from being a Cub/Dodger fan a few years ago, that would have been a fun weekend of bringing our sibling rivalry to new heights.

And then there were the assorted Kansas City fans already lobbying for me to take them to a World Series game if the stars aligned for both teams. Those were going to be awkward conversations I was not looking forward to having. Two tickets can only cover so many butts.

With first pitch at 5pm, absurdly early for a weekday in LA, there wasn’t any time for the pomp and circumstance of the series’ first two games. I met a buddy at our seats with minutes spare. Somehow the stadium was filled and rocking when Zack Greinke took the mound.

The Mets dealt the first blow with a run in the first. The Dodgers immediately countered two of their own and threatened to pile it on in the following innings but they just couldn’t knock anyone home. It was the baseball equivalent of stalling out in the red zone, a problem that has plagued the Huskers all year long.

Then in the top of the fourth, the Dodgers had a mind blowing lapse in concentration that put any of this year’s Husker head-scratchers to shame as Daniel Murphy went from first to third on a walk when he realized none of the shifted Dodgers moved to cover the unattended hot corner. He promptly scored the tying run and would belt the game winning homer two innings later.

Dodgers 2015 World Series Ticket
A bit of gallows humor for the ticket box. Maybe as things shuffle around it will find itself next to a fading stub from the 2002 Rose Bowl.

As the game wore on and the Dodgers’ chances dwindled, supportive texts started rolling in as if it were the final minutes of a Husker game. Once the Mets recorded the final out, those texts became condolences.

I replied back to concerned friends and family with the same message.

Thanks. It sucks but it isn’t as bad as a Husker loss.

And that’s the truth. A person can be a fan of many teams but there can only room for one at the top of your pedestal of fandom. Seeing your teams lose hurts but one always hurts more than the others and that is the team that has become part of your DNA.

Leaving the stadium last night, I saw scores of fans whose genetic code is written in Dodger Blue. There were grown men who looked like they’ve killed for sport at some point in their lives trying their hardest to hide their tears from their children.

There was a pit at the bottom of my stomach but it wasn’t the kind of despair that needed to be filled by a danger dog on the way home. Life will go on.

The Dodgers’ 73rd loss of the season was by far their most painful but it still doesn’t compare to what it feels like to see the Big Red come up short in four out of six games.

It’s time to right the ship, the season, and to stop losing to Minnesota.

Let’s get that win, Huskers.

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Mike Riley is So Nice…

We already know that Mike Riley is nice enough to let teams win when a game is close but just how nice is here?

In the spirit of Chuck Norris Facts, here are some examples of #NiceRiley in full effect. Feel free to chime in with any of your own in the comments.

Mike Riley is so nice… he enjoys sitting next to babies when he flies.

Mike Riley is so nice… he sends an apology when paying a parking ticket.

Mike Riley is so nice… he obeys all traffic laws when playing Grand Theft Auto.

Mike Riley is so nice… he tips when he goes to the DMV.

Mike Riley is so nice… he became a Mormon AND a Jehovah’s Witness.

Mike Riley is so nice… he pays to subscribe to the Omaha World-Herald instead of clearing his cache like everyone else.

Mike Riley is so nice… he’s never mentioned in public that Vader is Luke’s father to avoid any potential spoilers.

Mike Riley is so nice… he runs stairs when players mess up in practice.

Mike Riley is so nice… he doesn’t honk at the car ahead of him when the light turns green out of fear of interrupting an important phone call.

Mike Riley is so nice… he’s happy to let someone with 37 items cut ahead of him in the express lane.

Mike Riley is so nice… he tells his wife everything that happened in Vegas.

Mike Riley is so nice… he always says please and thank you when asking Siri a question.

Mike Riley is so nice… every time he catches a trout, he takes it to the vet for a check up before releasing it.

Mike Riley is so nice… he always says yes when a stranger offers candy.

Mike Riley is so nice… he asks telemarketers how their day is going.

Mike Riley is so nice… he once gave a mugger the extra $20 he keeps hidden in his shoe.

Mike Riley is so nice… he washes his bedding before checking out of a hotel.

Mike Riley is so nice… he limits himself to three breadsticks when dining at Olive Garden.

Mike Riley is so nice… he never takes pennies. He only leaves them.

Mike Riley is so nice… any dog that humps his leg gets to finish.

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Breaking Badgers with Cousin Ben

Since the Huskers joined the Big Ten, their battles with the Badgers have become an extra special time among my family, the vast majority of whom hail from the Land of Cheese and Swill Beer.

With my brother and I being the oddballs who grew up in Nebraska and raised as proper Husker fans from birth, a familial friction has sparked every time the Huskers and Badgers throw down. Mostly, it’s Badger backing cousins who take a jab or two before crawling back into the safety of their dens until the Badgers have jet sweeped their way to victory. Then the smack talk claws come out in full force.

The best of the worst in my family is my cousin Ben. He’s a 15-year-old three sport juggernaut and is an absolutely rabid fan of the Badgers and the Packers (you can see Lambeau Field from the end of his street). Ben knows more about sports than most people at ESPN and wields emojis like a master assassin. In other words, he’s a full-on honey badger when it comes to heckling the Huskers when they’re down.

Ben was gracious enough to take a break from his homework to give a glimpse into the world of Wisconsin athletics and what Husker fans can expect to see on Saturday.

Just so our readers get a sense of who they’re dealing with, tell us a little bit about your level of fandom for the Badgers. And this can be the all-encompassing Badgers, football, basketball, etc.

Well I live about two and a half hours away from Madison but I don’t think I’ve missed watching a Badger basketball or football game in about four or five years. I’ve gotten to see some amazing games like Melvin Gordon’s 408 yard game and that 70-31 slaughtering in the Big Ten Championship (okay, now I’m just teasing you) but it’s been an absolutely crazy ride. Being a Badger fan has brought me to Texas, LA, Indy and of course more times than I can remember, the best college town in America, Madison.

What are your favorite moments as a Badger fan? Best game you’ve been to?

My best moments as a Badger fan have probably been the three straight Rose Bowls and the two Final Fours. The fact that Wisconsin won three Big Ten titles with basically one QB that could throw the ball (sorry, Scott Tolzein) is pretty crazy. The best game I’ve been too would have to be is when Wisconsin beat #1 Ohio State back in 2010. I was just walking in when David Gilreath took back the opening kick and the Badgers dominated when I was in my seat as well. That’s the only game I’ve had the pleasure of storming the field for.

Does your mom ever get upset with how you and your dad disappear for most of March to chase the Badgers around the NCCA Tournament?

My mom just pretty much stays out of the way during March and early April because I think she just knows we could be gone. She did come to the Final Four last year so I think she was especially happy about that.

As a whole, Nebraska fans tend to be more than a little terrified of the Badgers, especially after the last couple times they’ve played. What do Nebraska fans have to scared about this year?

The Badgers always seem to have two things on their team: a great line, and a top back. This year, we thought we had the great back but (Corey) Clement has been out since the Bama game so that’s gone. Stave will be back to his ways where he can’t complete a pass if it’s not 25 yards down the field. The only real thing that will have Nebraska fans shaking their heads this year is going to be the defense. The line is solid, and maybe two of the best OLB in the country in Joe Schobert and Vince Biegal will have the lineman picking up Armstrong all game. The secondary is solid led by safetys Michael Caputo and the QB… I mean receiver…. no stick to safety Tanner McEvoy. (Editor’s note: Tanner changes positions more often than the Huskers change running backs.)

Will Joel Stave ever graduate? The dude has to be like 25 by now.

I sure hope he does soon.. They have a Sophomore QB named DJ Gillians that is a stud. Stave just isn’t very good against good teams. (Editor’s note: I think this may be a burn towards the Huskers.)

Do you think Barry Alvarez somehow find a way to get rid of Paul Chryst so he can coach another bowl game?

Haha. Barry is getting up there and Chryst is a Wisconsin boy so I think getting rid of him will be tough for about 3 years.

And on that note, how happy are you that Bret Bielema is Arkansas’ problem?

Goodness. That’s about the best thing the Badgers have going for them is watching Bielema choke. When they played Texas A&M, he called two pass plays on 3 and 4, and 4 and 4. If that would’ve happened in Madison, he probably wouldn’t have been picking up any sloozy college girls after the game.

What’s your prediction for the final score? I know you texted me but my phone is across the room and I’m too lazy to get up and look.

31-17 Badgers. I figure if it’s closer than that, Stave can throw up a prayer and the defense will either back away or push the receiver.

What are the Badgers’ chances for making it back to the Final Four this season? How will they ever replace Frank the Tank?

Not great but I think it’s better than what other people think. They have the best PG in the Big Ten (might be a bit biased there considering my dog is named after him) and a top 20 pick in next year’s draft that will anchor the team. I’m at least expecting a sweet sixteen run and since it’s Bo’s “last year” (Tony Bennett or Bo only) you never know what he can get the boys to do.

Are the Packers going to the Super Bowl or will they find a new and clever way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? That was so brutal how they lost last year.

I have no doubt in my mind right now that the Packers are the best team in the NFL right now. Last year I probably would have said that but I’m a lot more confident this year. Plus, the hands team is 2/2 this year I believe so that’s a good start towards not choking in the same way.

How does it feel knowing that after all the great running backs that Wisconsin has produced, the best running back in the entire history of the Green Bay Packers is Ahman Green who just happens to be from Nebraska?

The only thing I remember well about Amahn in his prime was he came to my school after a domestic abuse charge I believe and I told him not to beat his wife. True story.

Like I said, he’s a master assassin of talking trash.

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Monday Rage: Who Woke Up Still Mad About Illinois?

Happy Monday everyone!

Here’s a quick rundown of selected rage tweets and other delights from Husker fans who woke up still feeling a little raw about what happened at Illinois on Saturday.

Wait… this really happened? Maybe in an alternate universe.

Sam Foltz Special Teams Player of the Week
While typo police are usually more annoying than gluten-free people, this is a great find. Could it have been a subtle dig at the short bus crowd with a little stutter built-in to special teams? More than likely it was just the work of someone who had five minutes to put a graphic together while dealing with their typical Monday madness. We say they d-d-deserve a b-b-break.

Well, this is certainly a loaded statement.

But it reading about it after the fact always hurts so good.

Wait… you can’t just get press credentials for everyone in your party?

Can someone please check Alex Lewis’ check-ins on Swarm?

This is a depressing statistic.

Hey man, Danny Glover tried his best to carry Arnold’s mantle in Predator 2.

SKERS, Neo. SKERS.

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