Tag Archives: college football

Big Ten, College Football, Huskers

Side-to-Side: A look back at Northwestern and Ahead to Illinois

Last weekend in Chicago was a blast and I feel sorry for everyone who missed out on the fishbowls at Kirkwood. Then there was the actual game, which I have hardly heard about because before the game, they played the National Anthem. (I fully support our players kneeling for their beliefs and am glad they have people talking, even the stupid ones, because those idiots prove why they are needing to take a stand). But yes, there was an actual game played and it hasn’t really been talked about. The Huskers won. They are 4-0. You read that correctly, 4-0!!!!! I haven’t been this happy since the day Bo got fired (November 30 will always be a personal holiday).

Side note: There was a Northwestern player that really stood out to our group. #46 SB Eric Lutzen. Kid had energy for days and was the only Wildcat that I saw never give up. He cheered his team on more than anybody in that stadium. I need this kid to get some playing time. He’s got the most important intangible of all: heart. Get him out there, Fitz.

The only Northwestern player that I liked.
Eric Lutzen, the only Northwestern player that I liked.

A LOOK AT ILLINOIS

Lovie Smith was hired at Illinois so people would know the name of one person associated with the program. The last time Illinois won in Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge was president. The year was 1924. The 2016 Illinois squad is coming off two losses from Western Michigan and North Carolina. If I were a betting woman, I would guess that ESPN will remind us of their big win in the first week against the powerhouse that is Murray State. 52-3. A win like that will take it out of you for the next two games so the losses just make sense.

screen-shot-2016-09-30-at-1-14-21-pm
Yes, I do fill out scores in my Phil Steele preview.

They are probably coming off their bye week and rolling into Lincoln HOT and ready for a piece of the Blackshirts. Just kidding. I might not even go into the game this weekend because it’s going to be so sad to watch. I can tell you the coach’s name, but I can’t name one player on this Illinois squad besides their QB Wes Lunt.

screen-shot-2016-09-30-at-10-10-48-am
Going to school at Oklahoma State but playing football for Illinois seems like it’s probably an NCAA violation

Nobody in the country has watched an Illinois game this season. Probably not even the players because their play would suggest they are not watching film. Looking at their depth chart:

img_2305
Jeff George must really hate his kid to let him play at Illinois.

Anyway, the biggest Nebraska concern is a situation with the offensive line. The situation being that both starting guards are now out. RG Tanner Farmer was  injured against Northwestern and is out against Illinois. LG Corey Whitaker, who replaced Farmer during the game last Saturday, will again be in for Farmer against Illinois. It looks like Cole Conrad, a sophomore walk-on, will be the backup tackle, center, and guard. Don’t read that last sentence again because it is scary. WR Alonzo Moore will also be out against Illinois. The good news is that this is Illinois which should be like a bye week, followed by an actual bye week, so there should be time for some of these guys to recover.

What I’m going to need to see on Saturday:

*Coach Dub back on the sideline.

*Cole Conrad still on the sidelines the whole game.

*More Mikale Wilbon. Like a lot more Mikale Wilbon.

*A DPE house call.

*Nate Gerry continue to be Nate Gerry (he has made 25/26 tackle      attempts. I guess that is pretty good).

*A Chris Jones interception.

*All of the commits that are visiting to commit (looking at you Joseph Lewis and Rahyme Johnson).

I’d name a few more things but I’m going to keep this list realistic.

See you folks tomorrow  in Lincoln. GBR.


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Big Ten, Huskers, Mike Riley

Protect ya Neck, Wildcats. The NU-Tang Clan is Bringing da Ruckus to You

Fine, Northwestern. You want to be known as the NU of the Big Ten, you can have it.

Even if you Wildcats haven’t been consistently average since the Pappy Waldorf era, those two little letters are all yours. From this day forward, the NU of the Big Ten that is able to boast five National Championships, three Heisman Trophy winners, and a sellout streak running 350 games strong will be henceforth be referred to around these parts as the NU-Tang Clan.

It’s long overdue that the squad that holds the distinction of being the most bad ass team in college football history does a Vulcan mind meld with the most bad ass group in hip hop history.

nu-tang-clan
As you may recall, when the Wu-Tang Clan broke out in 1993, the Huskers were just getting started of breaking off a 60-3 record over a five year span.

So now that we’ve successfully rechristened the Huskers, let’s take a special look at all the ways Northwestern is doomed on Saturday. Long story short, there will be no better tomorrow for the Wildcats. The NU-Tang killer D is gonna swarm and if Northwestern has any luck at all, the won’t experience all 36 chambers of death.

Look for Nate “Ghostface Killah” Gerry  to tee off on Wildcat QB Clayton Thorson if he gets cute and tries busting out his Taylor Martinez impression from last year.  But it probably won’t even come to that because Thorson will first have to make past Ross “Inspectah Deck” Dzuris” and Michael “Masta Killa” Rose-Ivey.

On the other side of the ball, Tommy “RZA” Armstrong Jr. will be leading the NU-Tang Clan to the promised land again and again. In his previous game at Ryan Field (a dump so bad it makes Staten Island‘s Fresh Kills Landfill look like paradise), he caught a touchdown pass from De’Mornay “U-God” Pierson-El out of sheer boredom.

Then there’s the fact that Jordan “Method Man” Westerkamp will have more friends and family in the stands than the combined total of the Huskers’ travel squad and the actual Wu-Tang Clan. The last time Westy played in the Land of Lincoln, the Huskers fell to Illinois and he had a hard time hauling in any of Tommy’s wind ravaged passes that fell out of the sky so expect him to have a big day in his final go around back home. Since he can’t catch all the passes Cethan “Cappadonna” Carter and Stanley “GZA” Morgan Jr. will be there to spell him.

After starting the season with three tight-ass performances, you can expect Devine “Raekwon” Ozigbo to anchor the rushing attack.

Finally, saving the best for last, Mike “Ol’Dirty Bastard” Riley seems to have found a new ruthless killer instinct during last week’s win over Oregon. If he still believes fortune favors the bold, look for the iced out uniform wearing Huskers to have this game on ice before halftime.

C.R.E.A.M.* get that dubby.

NU-Tang Clan – 31

The Other NU – 19

* Cornhuskers Rule Everything Around Me

Here’s your gameday jam. Just swap out the Wu-Tang Clan for NU-Tang when you singalong and you’ll be all set.


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College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

Sunday Evening Hot Takes: Oregon Edition

How much fun was that Oregon game?

Even with all the stress and near heart attack moments, this was arguably the most fun game of the Mike Riley era from start to finish. (Michigan State was a blast but only at the end.)

With the Huskers topping the Ducks 35-32, Nebraska finally beat a ranked non-conference opponent at home for the first time since 2001 when Bob Davie brought the Fighting Irish to Lincoln.

The best part about this win was that it was a complete team effort on both sides of the ball. The offense and the Blackshirts overcame potentially backbreaking miscues and stepped up big when it absolutely mattered the most-  from De’Mornay Pierson-El’s game changing punt return (how great was it to see him back in 2014 form?), to Tommy Armstrong Jr. doing it with his arm and legs on the Huskers’ final drive, to Kieron Williams‘ game saving pass breakup with a minute to play.

Then there’s Mike Riley. Where has the guy who was on the sidelines on Saturday been hiding? Talk about a stone cold assassin with a pair of cajones the size of casaba melons. Going for it on 4th down three times including with the game on the line? Heck. Yes.

And how about that blitz out of nowhere on Oregon’s final play? With the Ducks facing a 4th and 18 from Nebraska’s 48, the Huskers’ secondary was lined up 12 yards off the ball. If this scenario didn’t instantly give you flashback’s to BYU’s Hail Mary, congratulations for blocking that one from your mind.

Instead of giving the quarterback all day to throw this time around, the Blackshirts brought the heat with a six man rush that immediately flushed Dakota Prukop from the pocket and forced him to run into the welcoming arms of Michael Rose-Ivey who didn’t waste any time slamming him to the turf to lock up the win for the Huskers.

On with the usual Sunday stuff…

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch

mike-riley-happy-balloon_2

Mike gets two balloons this week. For two very obvious reasons.

Our Score Prediction

Another week, another mostly solid prediction from us. #humblebrag

Oregon’s ‘No Green’ Curse Continues

surrender-green

This is a text I received from an Oregon friend before kickoff. Apparently the Ducks’ version of the Huskers’ surrender whites is to wear uniforms without green. This was an interesting (and thankfully true) wrinkle worth keeping an eye on if you’re into that whole wagering on football thing.

This Iowa Fan Needed a Hug. He Didn’t Get One From Us.

How Lucky/Good Was That Bacon Saving  False Start Penalty?

false-start


NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

2: As in can you believe Oregon kept going for two? This will never not be funny.

7.1 Even with Royce Freeman out due to injury, Oregon’s average yards-per-carry was a season high. The Ducks averaged 6.8 YPC against UC Davis and 6.7 YPC against Virginia. The last time Oregon averaged over 7 YPC was in their 44-28 win over Cal last November.

45: De’Mornay Pierson-El’s game changing 45 yard punt return was his longest since he broke off a 42 yarder at Minnesota last year. Can he please return all the punts and never do the jet sweep? On 11 career rushing attempts, DPE has netted -7 yards.

47.2: Caleb Lightbourn’s average yardage on five punts, three of which pinned Oregon inside their own 20.

83: Get to know Brian Reimers, the walk-on redshirt sophomore who hauled in a touchdown pass (his first career reception) to cap the Huskers’ drive to open the second half.

7,376: In case you didn’t hear it over the crowd noise, Tommy Armstrong Jr. is now your career passing leader. He eclipsed Taylor Martinez’s mark of 7,258 passing yards yesterday.


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College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

Hey Oregon, Welcome to Mike’s House

Oregon,

We need to talk. Don’t worry. This is all going to be for your own good. I just want to make sure you little Duckies are prepared for what’s going to happen on Saturday.

You’ve probably been licking your bills for a while now at the prospect of migrating halfway across the country just to beat up on your former in-state rival like the good ol’ days of your annual Civil War.

But there’s one tiny problem.

Mike Riley isn’t at Oregon State anymore.

He’s at Nebraska.

Sure, I could start rattling off all the ways Riley’s coaching toy box has been upgraded but the truth is he’s just getting a taste of what it’s like to be in your Nikes, with world-class facilities and talent far beyond what he had in Corvallis. His playing field is finally level with yours.

But he has one big advantage that can’t be bought with Phil Knight money.

Heck, it can’t even be bought with Warren Buffett money.

And that’s Husker Nation.

While there’s no official date for when it was founded, a great case could be made for November 3, 1962, the day the Huskers’ sellout streak started. The Big Red lost to Missouri that day but the fans were back for the next one and all the others for the past 54 years. You Ducks have the honor of being number 350.

That’s kind of a big deal especially when you consider Memorial Stadium has nearly tripled in size during that time and Bill Callahan was head coach for a while.

Things are a little bit different around these parts. You’re going to be greeted by 90,000 of the most loyal and passionate fans you’ve ever played in front of anywhere. And that includes the little nest you call a stadium. (54,000 fans for your home games? Cute.)

Those fans (who will all be wearing red, btw) have known since Monday they won’t be sitting down for the duration of the game. All it took was a tweet from a linebacker that simply said #NoSitSaturday and everyone was like ‘Cool. We’ll spread the word.’

That’s how people roll in Nebraska. We take care of each other. Someone needs a favor? It gets done. Mike Riley is one of us now so when he steps onto that sideline, 90,000 people will have his back along with another million plus watching from afar.

Oregon, when you come out of that tunnel, it’s important that you’re prepared for what’s going to happen.

First off, no matter how loud it gets, and it will get loud, Memorial Stadium will not fall apart. She may feel like she’s about to crumble but don’t worry. She’s as solid as a rock. Mostly.

Either way, you’ll probably want to dip into your vast wardrobe and pick out some pants that can hide crotchal region stains (both the front and rear kind) just to be safe. Maybe something in a nice dark green? That should do the trick.

It’s going to be so loud you may feel yourself getting knocked backwards by the sheer force of 90,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs. For as much as these folks want to see the Huskers win, they don’t mean you any genuine harm. No matter the outcome, they’ll be cheering for you after the final whistle. It’s what Nebraska fans do.

So there you are, taking it all in and you see him.

mike-riley-flo-rida
Welcome to Mike’s house.

Yes, that inflatable Bob’s Big Boy looking thing is definitely a creeper and he’ll be there to welcome you onto the field. His name’s Lil’ Red and just go with it. Maybe even make a mental bookmark of the moment you make eye contact with his black, soul-less eyes. You’ll already be having the most surreal experience of your football career so why not make it just a little bit weirder?

Now kickoff. That’s when the fun really starts.

You may have read somewhere that Mike Riley’s Huskers can be a little unpredictable. For as frustrating as that can be, it’s been kind of fun that every game brings a new surprise. Will the Big Red decide to kick it old-school and pound the ball down your bill until you give up, or will Tommy Armstrong have the green light to go full Tommy, or maybe a mix of both to really keep your defense on their webbed toes?

Then there’s the problem of dealing with the Blackshirts.

Oh, you have an Olympic hurdler as a wide receiver? Well the Huskers have the guy who set the South Dakota state record in the 200 meter dash and he’s really good at making interceptions and too good at making tackles. Trust me, if you happen to make it past the defensive line, he’s not somebody you want to run into.

And if that wasn’t enough to make you want to go hang out in a park and beg for bread crumbs, there’s a rumor going around that the Huskers are getting hooked up with Yeezy Cleats.

If that happens, you’re doomed. Everyone knows it’s a proven scientific fact that a person runs faster in new shoes and Yeezys are far from being another boring pair of Nikes.

Good luck tomorrow, Oregon. You’re going to need it.


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College Football, Huskers

Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy): Your Wyoming Preview

Wyoming week sure went by in a flash didn’t it?

Guess we can thank the sordid and idiotic crime saga of Scott L. Davis for that distraction. One can only imagine how awkward things will be for him during the game if whatever jail he’s in has a watch party.

Then again, maybe he’ll sleep through it since kickoff is at a barbarically early 11am which is 10am in Wyoming. In case you had better things to do than pay attention to the Cowboys’ season opener, they were up playing until 2:30am. Their game against Northern Illinois endured a 110 minute weather delay before ending in triple overtime with the Cowboys winning 40-34.

Mountain West Basketball Tournament - Quarterfinals Wyoming v UNLV
Wanna win a $20 Taco John’s gift card? Find “Barrelman” tomorrow, get a pic with him, and tweet it to us. First one wins all the Olés.

This week more than a few pundits have speculated that Wyoming’s late night could be a factor as if they were the first college kids to ever stay out until the wee hours of a Sunday morning.

Couple Wyoming’ s theoretical fatigue with the special blue light blocking glasses the Huskers are wearing to help get better sleep and you’ve got a guaranteed Husker victory. Right?

If that’s all it took I’d be totally OK with that.

The Huskers will probably have to put in a little more effort though.

With receiver Brandon Reilly coming back from his one game suspension, maybe Danny Langsdorf will open up the playbook and have Tommy air it out more. If you can believe it, people were actually complaining that the he didn’t throw the ball enough against Fresno State.

Wyoming is apparently good at running the ball. But who cares? It’s not like any of their backs will be able to run past Nate Gerry. He’s also back from his one game suspension. Until he gets ejected for targeting.

Finally, there’s the Craig Bohl factor. In three seasons in Laramie, he’s rustled up a 7-18 record for the Cowboys, which isn’t exactly stellar after three consecutive FCS Championships at North Dakota State.

Before North Dakota State, Bohl, as we all know, spent eight seasons as a Nebraska assistant, with his last three as defensive coordinator. While many stories have painted this game as a welcome homecoming for Bohl, let’s not forget he was all but run out Lincoln following the 2002 season.

In case you blocked it from your memory, the Huskers finished an unimaginable 7-7 that year. To shake things up, Frank Solich fired Bohl and hired an up and coming coach named Bo Pelini.

If Bohl would have been good at his job, Pelini would have never been hired and Husker fans would have never become enamored with the guy after he turned around the defense and filled-in as head coach in an Alamo Bowl win against Michigan State.

Then again, if Solich would have been good at his job (or if Steve Pederson wasn’t a lunatic) he wouldn’t have been fired and we wouldn’t have had to suffer through Bill Callahan before suffering through Pelini.

But then we wouldn’t have had this guy come into our lives.

Mike Riley Happy Balloon

Huskers win 48-14.


 

 

 

 

 

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Big Ten, Huskers

Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Fresno State Edition

Well, that was certainly a much better way to start a season.

Between the combination of Mike Riley apparently spending his off-season reading each and every one of his emails with a subject header of “Run the damn ball” and Fresno State being Fresno State, the Huskers gave fans exactly what they wanted to see- a dominating victory by the Big Red.

With enough subtle miscues and missed opportunities to have things to complain about, of course.

The Huskers ran the ball 80% of the time and limited Tommy Armstrong to only 10 passing attempts in a throwback to the era of that other Tommie.

Is this a game plan the Huskers will stick with all year? Who knows? It was just great to see they were able to roll Fresno State without having to empty the playbook. The less details that can be revealed to Oregon the better.

Compared to last season, it was so refreshing to be able to kick back and enjoy the game without the possibility of a brutal, gut wrenching last second defeat entering the picture.

Our Californians for Nebraska watch site was packed from wall-to-wall and felt like the first day of school. Conversations from last season picked up right where they left off.  There were handshakes, high fives, and new faces all around.

Husker Crowd
This is only a fraction of the Sea of Red that had gathered in Hollywood for the Huskers’ season opener.

Hopefully the crowds will keep going because November’s showdown with Ohio State will be interesting to say the least.  Our local spot is also an Ohio State bar.

NEW OLD WATCH SITEWhy yes, in LA a $4 Bud Light is considered a good deal.

Look for us on the next episode of the Big Red Cobcast.

Or in jail…

Funny how bogus targeting calls can do that.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch:

Mike Riley Happy Balloon
All is well in Lincoln for another week.

Our Score Prediction:

One of Hollywood Blvd’s many Spider-Men made the call.

Spidey’s 42-21 final was averaged out from our predictions in our season preview. Not a bad way to start the season.

The last time Nebraska played Fresno State: We were there in Fresno and crashed the Abdullah family tailgate and wrote about it in one of this site’s first posts. You can take a stroll down Husker memory lane here.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

2: Number of sacks by Dapper Ross Dzuris.

Ross Dzuris
Dapper Ross Dzuris. Let’s make this nickname happen, people.

114: Tommy Armstrong and Ryker Fyfe’s combined passing total was Nebraska’s lowest in a season opener since Jamal Lord(!) threw for 78 yards in the 2003 opener against Oklahoma State. The Huskers won that game 17-7.

103: Devine Ozigbo ran for 103 yards on 17 carries. Last season, the Huskers didn’t have a hundred yard rusher until game seven when Terrell Newby put up 116 against Minnesota.

CORRECTION: Newby went HAM against South Alabama and broke off 198 yards in the second game of last season. Let this be a lesson, kids. Don’t comb trough game stats while you’re still drunk from the game.

8: Chris Jones, number 8 in your program and number 1 in your heart, continued his interception streak that started in the Foster Farms Bowl. Like his pick against UCLA, last night’s also came in the end zone.

51-13: The Huskers’ run to pass ratio. That outta shut up your cranky uncle for at least a day.

0: Number of turnovers committed by the Huskers.

27: The tribute to Sam Foltz  was everything you hoped it would be and then some.  Its poignancy was felt all the way out here in California. As the Huskers lined up in formation for their first punt, fans quickly noticed who was missing and the din of a packed bar instantly went silent.

Sam Foltz JerseyYou’ll always be with Husker Nation, Sam.


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Big Ten, College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

The Big Red Fury Season Preview: Our Most Optimistic Post of the Year

As the calendar lurches towards the start of the season, each passing day brings fans new reasons for hope or dread as college football prognosticators trot out their previews.

Well, we’ve got nothing but good news and better news for you, dear reader. All three of us here at Big Red Fury summoned the ghosts of football future and came away with a consensus opinion.

The Huskers are going to kick a lot of ass this season.

The only question mark is exactly how much ass will be kicked.

Pour yourself a glass of Kool-aid. You’re going to enjoy this preview.

Game 1: Fresno State – September 3

FRESNO STATE FAN
At least one guy is pumped to be living in the Grand Island of California.

KUBRICKIAN GLEE: Tim DeRuyter got off to an auspicious start as Fresno State’s head coach when he landed in the raisin belt capital back in 2012. He won two straight Mountain West Conference titles while amassing a solid 20-6 record. Since then, Tim’s luck has gone to shit. The Bulldogs are just 9-17 over the last two seasons. You may remember Nebraska terrorizing these bastards on their home turf back in 2014 in a 55-19 waxing. Things aren’t going to get much better for the Bulldogs when FSU hits Lincoln for the season opener. Nebraska 49 Fresno State 10.

TODD MUNSON: It’s not BYU so I’m happy. Does the dad from Orange County Choppers still coach the Bulldogs? Huskers roll 42-17 and give fans visions of somewhere between 1995-1997.

LESLIE MICEK: I think it’s going to be a bigger blowout than 35-14 but I’ll stick with with something more realistic. This is the part of the season where anything is possible. I would have said BYU would have been a blowout last year but then I watched them throw a Hail Mary.

Game 2: Wyoming – September 10

WYOMING FANS
Pull your pants up, son. You’re wearing a bucket, old man.

KG: Right about now Craig Bohl might wonder why he exchanged the dynastic FCS bounty of Fargo, North Dakota for the massive headache of trying to run a Division 1 program out of Laramie, Wyoming. Sure, the scenery beats the hell out of Fargo, but former Husker Bohl had become the Tom Osborne of the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision, forging a run not dissimilar to Nebraska in the mid 1990s. But now? Bohl is the owner of a 6-18 record playing in the God-forsaken Mountain West. Relish those 2015 victories over Nevada and UNLV, Craig, because you and your Cowboys aren’t waking up from your prolonged nightmare any time soon. Nebraska 45 Wyoming 14.

TODD: It’s a rude return to Lincoln for Craig Bohl. Nebraska wins 52-21 in such a convincing fashion that fans will momentarily forget that Oregon is coming to Lincoln the following week.

LESLIE: Wyoming stinks. Huskers win 45-7.

Game 3: Oregon – September 17

Sad Ducks Fans
When your Tinder date turns out to be a juggalo. 

KG: It’s Duck season! Nebraska fans have this date circled on their calendars the day these two teams were scheduled. Some of the luster may have fallen off, though, after the recently mighty Ducks fell back to Earth a little in 2015 with a disappointing (for them) 9-4 campaign. Offensive coordinator Scott Frost’s departure to UCF also saps a little of the intrigue this game had going for it just a year ago. But seeing Mike Riley get a crack at his old in-state nemesis with an arsenal like he’s never had in Corvalis— there’s still plenty to get excited about.

The Ducks, as usual, will be able to put up some points on the Blackshirts. But Oregon’s own defense is a definite liability. Opponents scored an average of 44 points against Oregon in 2015. And most of that personnel returns in 2016. Throw in a questionable quarterback situation (that has former Husker commit Terry Wilson in the mix), and conditions seem favorable for Mike Riley getting a little payback against the old neighborhood bully. Nebraska 42 Oregon 38.

TODD: This game is the only question mark on the Huskers’ home schedule and there’s no middle ground. A win for the Huskers will mean the sky’s the limit for the season (at least until October 29). A loss, no matter how close, will mark the return of  the dark cloud of doom (at least until October 29.) Best case scenario for this game is that Coach Riley channels his inner John Kreese and sweeps the leg for a full 60 minutes. Huskers win 28-24.

LESLIE: I’m glad they don’t have  Vernon Adams or Scott Frost anymore. Easy to root against them again. Huskers. 28-21.

Game 4: at Northwestern – September 24

NORTHWESTERN FANS
A moment of silence for these poor kids who were rejected by Ivy League schools.

KG: Let’s be honest, before Nebraska joined the Big Ten, what would you have predicted Nebraska’s record would be against Northwestern five seasons in if you’d have bothered to even think about it? 5-0? 4-1, allowing for some strange fiasco of an upset somewhere along the way?

Well, Nebraska is now 3-2 in conference vs. Northwestern. And all but one of those games has turned out to be a nail-biter. Last season’s match was one of a gamut of frustrating, heartbreaking losses within the final minute of play, despite Nebraska outmatching the Wildcats in virtually all facets of the game. The difference in that contest (as with most in 2015) was turnovers. Nebraska had just one against Northwestern, but it was a big one — a 72-yard pick-six with just over seven minutes left in the half. Nebraska was marching on that drive and, had Armstrong’s pass gone the other way, it would’ve meant a 17-7 lead that probably wouldn’t have been relinquished. Instead, the Wildcats took a 14-10 advantage, giving them just enough to stave off Nebraska’s control of the game in the second half.

If Armstrong is new and improved in the turnover department, as some observers have said, things probably won’t be quite as rosy for Northwestern this year. Even with the game in Evanston which, let’s be honest, isn’t a particular advantage for the home team. Nebraska 31 Northwestern 21.

TODD: The good thing about playing Northwestern on the road is you don’t have to worry about the Wildcats coming into Lincoln and finding a new way to humiliate the Huskers. Nebraska hasn’t lost at Evanston since 1931 and they won’t do it again this year. Huskers win 31-17.

LESLIE: Not only am I planning on sneaking onto the sidelines again at that embarrassment that they call Ryan Field, I’m planning on dancing after a bunch of touchdowns. Huskers 34-does it even matter? Northwestern is losing.

Game 5: Illinois – October 1

ILLINOIS FANS
Sorry, Chief. Lovie Smith won’t save your Illini from another horrible season.

KG: Prior to the Purdue debacle, Illinois was the absolute nadir of Nebraska’s season in 2015. I still boil with anger when I recall the manner in which Nebraska squandered a 13-0 4th quarter lead only to lose in the final ten damn seconds. It was like watching the scene in Austin Powers when the security guard screamed for a solid 60 seconds as Powers’ steamroller inched toward him. All he had to do. All Nebraska had to do. Was step out of the way.

When the Illini come to Lincoln this year, expect something more akin to the Pelini-era outcomes. Nebraska 49 Illinois 17

TODD: Just to prove that last season was a total aberration, the Huskers should run the ball every time they face a 3rd & 7 and rack up 150+ bonus yards in the process. Chief Illiniwek gets wrecked 42-10.

LESLIE: I’m worried because Illinois will be coming off a bye week and I’m just kidding. Huskers 31-14.

Bye week – October 8

KG: I’ll be driving the choo-choo at Vala’s Pumpkin Patch.

TODD: Do some yard work. Reintroduce yourself to your family.

LESLIE: I predict Nebraska will win.

Game 6: at Indiana – October 15

INDIANA
A capacity crowd was on-hand for Indiana’s season opener last year.

KG: One of the most intriguing matches of 2016 is Nebraska’s trip to Bloomington. The Hoosiers have the most statistically dominant offense in the Big Ten — although, talent-wise, that title probably should go to Ohio State. Nonetheless, Indiana can put up some points and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Just ask the 2014 SEC East champions, Missouri. The Tigers fell to Indiana 31-27. On the heels of an Indiana loss to Bowling Green, too. 

The Hoosiers will be game for a basketball-type score (what else would you expect), but Nebraska should have no trouble tearing through Indiana’s defense. This one is going to be a track meet (and a little too close for comfort) but I see Nebraska pulling it out. Nebraska 41 Indiana 34. 

TODD: This is Nebraska’s sixth season as a member of the Big Ten and it’s their first time squaring off against Indiana as a conference opponent. Your days of dodging the Big Red are over, Indiana. Huskers win 55-21.

LESLIE: A battle to the death of two teams coming off 6-7 records. Only difference is that Nebraska is a lot better than their record shows. Also, Indiana plays Ohio St. the week before and Nebraska comes off a bye. Sorry, Indiana. Huskers 45-17.

Game 7: Purdue – October 22

PURDUEPhotos of Purdue fans do not exist on the internet so here are some Indiana fans insulting the ladies of Purdue.

KG: Revenge will be at hand. Purdue is the worst team in the Big Ten and they will come to Lincoln having poked the gorilla with its ridiculous 55-45 win last year. Look for Nebraska to eliminate the five turnovers that turned last season’s match into an embarrassment. Nebraska 49 Purdue 17.

TODD: The Huskers should save the Boliermakers the trouble of a road trip and just schedule an Indiana/Purdue double header the week before. Or, they could give Tommy the week off and let Ryker start so he can get chance at cold-blooded revenge. Huskers win 38-24.

LESLIE: Goals for the Purdue game this year: under 4 interceptions, rush more than 77 yards, and win. Simple. Huskers 37-14.

Game 8: at Wisconsin – October 29

badgersfansWisconsin fans are creeps.

KG: Quick trivia question: What is Nebraska’s combined record vs. Big Ten juggernauts Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State and Penn State?

Is it a) 4-10 or b) 10-4?

If you said “b” 10-4, give yourself a cigar! This cherry-picked bit of knowledge belies the notion that Nebraska has struggled in its time in the Big Ten. Nebraska has, in fact, posted the 4th best league record since joining the conference in 2011. While it hasn’t quite hit the mark that most Husker fans anticipated heading in to the Big Ten, Nebraska has held its own in virtually every category. Except one.

Playing Wisconsin.

Oy. I wonder if Barry Alvarez has any mixed emotions seeing the Monster of Madison he created bat his alma mater around like Lennie Small petting a scared bunny. While Mike Riley’s Huskers did a great job of not allowing the Badgers to embarrass Nebraska (in a way Pelini rarely could), the last second loss was still among the hardest to stomach in 2015. Andy Janovich’s 55-yard burst up the middle in the waning minutes of the game had Husker fans believing the Wisconsin demon had been exorcised. But no, the Cheesehead Linda Blair had one more gullet of projectile vomit to spew in our collective faces.

It will be tough. But I think Nebraska goes to Madison and takes care of business. It helps that Wisconsin, I believe, is on a slow downtick from its respectable run of the last decade. Nebraska 28 Wisconsin 24.

TODD: Welcome to the first installment of the most terrifying two weeks of the season. Since joining the Big Ten, the Huskers’ average margin of defeat when playing at Madison has been a robust 33 points. For the sake of it being August and all, I’ll go out on a limb and say Mike Riley delivers an eat shit and FU of his own to the troglodytes who call themselves Badger fans. Huskers 24 Badgers 21.

LESLIE: Don’t be scared, Todd. The Blackshirts won’t be. Huskers 24-17.

Game 9: at Ohio State – November 5

columbusriot1
This is what happens when Columbus runs out of Cincinnati Chili.

KG: Ohio State. What’s there to say, really? Urban Meyer scares the shit out of me. And so does the talent level in Columbus. Still, in this age of parity, no team is absolutely invincible. Nebraska will get beat in The Horseshoe. But make no mistake, Riley and his squad will make a game of it. Nebraska 28 Ohio State 34.

TODD: If you’re traveling to this game, here are two things to know: 1) It’s only 175 miles from Columbus to Youngstown and 2) Bo Pelini and his Penguins will be playing on the road at North Dakota St. If you regret not egging his house when he lived in Lincoln, this is your big chance to make amends and give yourself at least one thing you’ll want to remember because I don’t see how the Huskers can escape that burning couch of a state with a win. Ohio State 35 Nebraska 21.

LESLIE: Todd doesn’t seem to understand that it’s August and this is the time right after depression and right before reality. The perfect time for optimism. The Huskers are going to walk right into that dump called Ohio Stadium and make that WR coach Zach Smith want to delete his twitter account. I hope they pass the ball 100% of the time and win so we can all tag him with the #Shhh hashtag that he loves so much. Westerkamp, DPE, Reilly, and Stan the Man are gonna get savage all up in Coach Smith’s face. Honest to god, I hate that guy. Shut him the hell up. Huskers 28-21.

Game 10: Minnesota – November 12

sel 4078Minnesota Nebraska
If you don’t have enough fans who are willing to spell out your team’s name, you don’t deserve to have a team.

KG: Jerry Kill had a remarkable run at Minnesota, moving the Gophers from an after-thought to a solid middle-of-the-conference program. I genuinely feel bad for Jerry and his health issues. But I’m not sorry to see him absent from the opposite sideline of Nebraska. The Husker dominance of Minnesota resumed in 2015. Onward. Nebraska 45 Minnesota 21.

TODD: A week of many hack Caddyshack jokes being made by this site culminates with the Huskers starting a new win streak at the expense of the Gophers who will find themselves hiding near the bottom of the Big Ten West standings. Huskers win 31-17.

LESLIE: If the Huskers could beat you last year, they can definitely beat you this year. Huskers 55-21.

Game 11: Maryland – November 19

MARYLAND FANS
Supposedly this is what Maryland fans look like.

KG: Maryland and Nebraska meet for the first time ever in Memorial Stadium. Since the two teams are unfamiliar with each other, it’s good news for Nebraska that the Terps are about as intimidating as a squad of actual turtles. Nebraska 51 Maryland 24

TODD: You might remember Maryland as the team who had those atrocious uniforms a couple seasons back, or for their most famous alumni (Shawne Merriman) dating Tila Tequila. If you need to use this weekend to prep for Thanksgiving you’re in luck. This game won’t be close. Huskers 42 Maryland 20.

LESLIE: Three wins last year? Good lord. Stick to basketball, Maryland. Huskers win by a billion.

Game 12: at Iowa – November 25

IOWA FANS
When Iowa fans realize their welfare checks aren’t big enough to cover Powerball tickets or an oil vaporizer pen and the Vape juice.

KG: The worst 12-0 regular season program I’ve ever had the displeasure of witnessing take the gridiron. As snake-bit as Nebraska was in 2015, Iowa was itself holding aces all season. But both teams showed their true colors in bowl games — a solid 37-29 victory over UCLA by Nebraska (a healthy margin that, quite frankly could’ve been even healthier) and a 45-16 ass shellacking of Iowa by Stanford in the Rose Bowl. Iowa made rings to mark their 12-0 regular season accomplishment. Good for them. Fucking losers. Nebraska 45 Iowa 10.

TODD: Mike Riley puts the exclamation point on #IOWAHATEWEEK by stealing the keys to Herky Hawkey’s El Camino and burning some donuts on the 50 yard line of Kinnick Stadium following a Huskers blowout victory.  Huskers win 38-14.

LESLIE: If I was running things, Iowa would have to sit out a year for that Rose Bowl performance. But since it doesn’t look like that is going to happen, Nebraska is going to have to play them. Unlike last season, Iowa actually has to play some real teams before Nebraska, so there is no chance they go into this undefeated again. As you can tell, I actually have the opposite. Nebraska is going in there undefeated this year and kicking some Iowa ass. Leave me alone. A person can dream. Huskers 21-17.

(But for real, watching Iowa collapse at the Rose Bowl was the highlight of last season.)

Final regular season tally:

KG: Huskers go 11-1 with a loss to Ohio State.
TODD: Same.
LESLIE: Huskers run the table and go 12-0.

Remember, what you just read is published on the internet, so you know it’s true. GBR.

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College Football, Huskers

Hey K-Dubs, Here’s Your Guide to Watching Husker Games at Home

Good news, everyone! Keith Williams didn’t get fired.

From what I’ve been able to decipher through the flurry of tweets leading to stories blocked by paywalls, K-Dubs will remain suspended without pay through August 31 and won’t be attending the first four games in any capacity.

Games three and four, as you may know, are Oregon and at Northwestern. Good thing being good at catching the ball has never been important when playing the Wildcats.

In the interim, Mark Philipp can double up as strength and receivers coach. We all know that K-Dubs has ingrained such a T-1000 level of  killer technique in his receivers that the only coaching they’ll need in his absence are occasional subtle, yet stern reminders to not drop the ball.

And who’s better to do that than a guy who could rip you in half?

Mark Philipp
Mark Philipp, a guy who could rip you in half.

Now that we’ve solved the temporary coaching crisis, let’s move on to the topic at hand.

The stark reality is that K-Dubs has probably never watched a Husker game at home. Up until last season, he never had a connection to the team and before that, the guy was busy doing football stuff with other teams. Best case, he might have randomly caught one between 1997 and 2000 when he was out of football according to his bio.

OK K-Dubs, here’s how you Husker like you’re one of us.

STEP 1: STAY THE F HOME

Don’t go try to crash some tailgates or check out the scene at the Railyard. As much fun as it is to be a fan, you need keep a low profile, my friend. The last thing you want to do is wander through someone’s Snapchat story.

STEP 2: FOOD 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T ORDER A PIZZA. Everyone and their brother who isn’t at the game will all have the same brilliant idea to order a pizza. If you’re lucky (which, let’s face it, you are and we’re glad), it will show up in the middle of the third quarter but if your luck has run out, expect to see it on your porch by Sunday morning.

But what you want to do is bribe your extraordinarily understanding and loving wife with whatever it takes for her to swing by the nearest Runza drive-thru for you and pick up a few of Nebraska’s greatest sandwiches that can’t really be classified as sandwiches.

(My inner-fat kid also suggests stopping by Taco John’s for some Potato Olés to cross the streams of Nebraska deliciousness but we won’t press our luck. Runzas will have to do.)

runza-largeThe venerable Runza.

To go with your Runzas, you’ll need some sodas, maybe some sparkling water, and a party tray of carrots, celery, etc. If you need to stress eat, you might as well try to be healthy about it.

STEP 3: THE TV

Bigger and high-def’er is always better but as any Husker fan in the western reaches of the 308 will tell you, a Husker game can be just as stressful and exciting when you’re listening to it on a crackling radio while on the edge of your seat in a combine (the tractor, not football kind). But you’re city folk, so you can get the best of both worlds: TV and Radio.

Download the official Huskers app so you can stream the radio broadcast instead of listening the schlubs on TV drone on about Tommy and Jordan being roommates. Spend the first couple minutes of the game synchronizing the stream to your TV. It takes a little trial and error but once you get it locked in DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.

One last important detail, make sure your cable package has the Big Ten Network. If you need a password to watch online, hit me up. You can use the one I borrowed.

STEP 4: YELLING AT THE TV

Since you’ll be streaming the radio broadcast, you can pop-in your ear buds and have the TV on mute. Your wife will love you for that but what she won’t love is the inevitable screaming and yelling.

You have three options to prepare for this:

1. Treat your extraordinarily understanding and loving wife (and however many friends she’d like to bring along) to a spa day. (After she picks up your Runzas, of course.)

2.  Buy a screamin’ pillow to muffle the sound. Scream PillowThis is pretty self-explanatory.

3. Adopt a kitten. Todd and WillardThe calmest Husker game of my life took place on October 30, 2010, mere days after Willard was sprung from the pound. It also helped that the first quarter ended with the Huskers up 24 – 0 over Missouri thanks to Roy Helu Jr. running wild.

STEP 5: SOCIAL MEDIA

Think of this as the digital version of strolling through the Big Red Sea of tailgaters. No matter how hard you’re tempted, DON’T TWEET DURING THE GAME. It will just open the doors to trolls and you really don’t need to give that butthole coach at Ohio State a reason to be a bigger butthole.

What you can do, and I highly recommend it, is slide into the game thread on Huskermax. You don’t need to be a member unless you want to comment. Depending on what exactly you read though, you might want to become a member just so you can cool off some of the inevitable the-sky-is-falling hot takes and conspiracy theories. Seriously, bro. It’s like that every game.

Welcome to the other side of Husker Nation, K-Dubs. While it will be nice to have you among us, we can’t wait to see you back on the field.

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College Football, Huskers

The Season Doesn’t Have a Reset Button. We Gotta Roll With It.

We’re still 19 sleeps away from the season opener and it’s already becoming one for the books.

The news of Keith Williams‘ arrest on a suspected DUI appeared on my phone Sunday morning (thanks, Leslie) right as I was about to do a swan dive into a $12 breakfast burrito.

My appetite vanished as I read the details of what happened… crash at 9th and N (at least it was only a four block ride to jail) and a possible third DUI, tipping the scales at a .15 BAC.

Honestly, even one DUI isn’t excusable but, if we’re really being honest, there’s a good chance we’ve all been one faulty taillight away from finding ourselves trying to walk a straight line on the side of the road.

But three DUIs? Hell no. Completely inexcusable. Especially in an age where an Uber, even in Lincoln, is a press of a button away. Then there’s the fact that the Star City is one of the greatest cities to pedal a bike around at night shitass drunk. I did it for five years and it was awesome. Plus, every bar has a bike rack out front so it’s a win-win for everyone.

Here in LA, a DUI ends up costing the lucky recipient around $10,000 just in fines and legal fees. That’s 1,000 $10 Uber rides and translates to a lot of nights out without having to worry about anything other than if your driver can properly follow GPS directions. (Hey, since you’re here, get a free Uber ride on us. #ad)

Will Williams stay on with the Huskers? That’s a hard decision and one that has to suck for whoever ends up having the final say on the matter.

Did he instantly lose all his credibility as a respected coach and mentor to college kids? Well, a person can learn a lot by messing up and taking the steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Williams seems to know this all too well.

But will he be standing on the sidelines come September 3rd?

As much as the Huskers rule everything around us, he has more important stuff to worry about and let’s all hope he finds the support he needs to fix it.


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College Football, Huskers, Mike Riley

We’re doomed anyway so we might as well win.

Here are a couple dates to chew on.

January 9, 2017: The College Football Playoff National Championship Game will be played in Tampa, Florida.

January 20, 2017: The 45th President of the United States of America will be sworn into office.

No matter which way you swing on the political spectrum, one thing we can probably all agree on is that this country seems to be spiraling towards an embarrassing face plant faster than an Iowa fan on her 21st birthday.

No matter whose hand is on that bible this January, be it a very tiny one that’s never seen a hard day’s work or a normal-size paw that lacks the motor skills to properly send an email, there’s a good chance President Camacho will be their successor.

So what’s all this mean to Husker Nation?

Well, if we want to see a day when the Huskers return to national dominance, they should probably work on that sooner rather than later.

Best worst case scenario, a National Championship this year would give us a 11 solid days to celebrate before we have to start living under a cloud of worry about the Commander-in-Chief’s stubby little finger accidentally launching a nuke instead of firing off a late night rage tweet.

Even if that doesn’t happen, what are we, five to ten years away from tackle football going the way of the lawn dart? Unless someone can clone Teddy Roosevelt STAT, football as we know and love it will be changing. Wouldn’t it be great if the Huskers could win one more championship before sport becomes as hard hitting as a game of quidditch?

On that uplifting note, the good news is that if you play (or go through life) like you’ve got nothing to lose, you’re going to win. The scoreboard might not always agree with that philosophy but at least you can sleep well at night knowing you gave it your best.

In the case of Mike Riley, his career head coaching record might stand at a humble 153 – 151 but entering his second year at Nebraska, it’s a safe bet that the win column is going to start shooting up at a faster clip. Over the course of this off-season, it seemed like he realized he’s playing with house money and is using that giant stack of chips to build something great.

To paraphrase the life motto of the late, great Lemmy Kilmister from the legendary band Motörhead, Riley may have seemingly been born to lose but right now he’s living to win.

A coach who’s supposedly in the “twilight” of his career wouldn’t be spending his summer criss-crossing the country or waking up at the stroke of midnight to retweet recruits. Much like Lemmy being on tour barely two weeks before he dropped dead from an undiscovered brain tumor, Riley is not slowing down as his golden years are fast approaching. Lemmy went out as the undisputed most rock n’ roll bad ass to walk the Earth and Riley is setting the table to walk into the sunset with a powerful legacy of his own left in his wake.

Don’t be shocked when he cranks up his win total by 11 this season.

OK Huskers, it’s time to get out on that field and snap some necks and cash some stipend checks.

Mike Riley and LemmyHusker head coach Mike Riley (left) and Motörhead’s Lemmy Kilmister (right). Two disparate dudes with nothing in common but a burning passion for their life’s work.

https://youtu.be/snyjRd93HBs

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