Category Archives: Big Ten

Stuck in a Rutgers. Six Sad Facts About the Scarlet Knights.

Before the Huskers head to Piscataway, New Jersey for their first ever-game at Rutgers, here are few nuggets to give you a better idea of who the Scarlet Knights are and why they are the absolute dregs of the Big Ten Conference.

1869: The year Rutgers hosted the very first intercollegiate football ever. The Queensmen, as they were called back then, bested Princeton 6 – 4. Their only other game of that inaugural season was a rematch against Princeton a week later that resulted in them getting blanked 8 – 0. Somehow with a 1 – 1 record, Rutgers had the audacity to claim a national title– their only one in 146 seasons of playing football.

Basically, Rutgers is  the Anvil of college football. While they may have helped “invent” the sport much like the greatest band you’ve probably never heard of helped influence the speed metal genre, the Scarlet Knights football program has been all but left in the dust by their peers. Luckily for both Rutgers and Anvil, their fortunes have been mostly on the upswing since 2008.

6: The number of current (at the time) Rutgers players who were arrested and dismissed from the team after being charged with a string of home invasion robberies this spring.

3: How many times Rutgers has finished a season undefeated (1876, 1961, and 1976). Curiously, they did not try claiming a national title after either of their clean sweeps during the 20th Century. In fact, the Scarlet Knights were so butt hurt about not being invited to a “prestigious” bowl in 1976 that they took their ball and went home in lieu of playing McNeese State in the first-ever Independence Bowl.

10: The number of times Rutgers has appeared in a bowl game in their previous 145 seasons. While the Scarlet Knights are on the bowl bubble this year, they’ve been on a hot streak with nine bowl bids since 2005. In fact, they played in TWO bowl games in 2008 (the International Bowl against Ball State on January 5 and the PapaJohns.com Bowl against NC State on December 29). Rutgers’ overall bowl record is 6 – 4.

52,454: The seating capacity at Rutgers’ home field, High Point Solutions Stadium. 53,774 fans squirmed inside the gates for the Scarlet Knights’ first game as a member of the Big Ten last season, which led to the Rutgers administration issuing an official apology to Penn State for the rude behavior of their fans.

rutgers-stadium-1
High Point Solutions Stadium is like a smaller, sadder version of Memorial Stadium.

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A Rutgers fan celebrates his team’s entry into the Big Ten by demonstrating that sunscreen makes perfectly good body paint (as long as you have the time to hit the tanning salon).

Rutgers Fan
One can only speculate that this Rutgers fan’s nickname is R-U Going to Eat That?

Rutgers Mascot
Even the Scarlet Knight is a guido.

61,221: The number of people who have the courage to admit to being fans of the Scarlet Knights on Facebook. (For reference, the Huskers boast 597,889 fans.) This shockingly low number says two things: 1) Not as many people care about Rutgers as the Big Ten would like people to believe. 2) Maybe New Jersey residents are still all up in that MySpace.

What Rutgers fans lack in online presence they make up for it with pessimism that puts Husker Nation’s biggest negative nellies to shame.

Rutgers Facebook Fans

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Sunday Evening Hot Take: Michigan State Edition

While the Huskers’ dramatic, come-from-behind win over Michigan State was one for the ages, its best highlight was that it reinforced the power and importance of maintaining a positive attitude and never quitting.

Earlier this week I found out a buddy from high school who also lives out here in Los Angeles had been in a severely life threatening motorcycle accident.

Nestled in my Facebook feed among the cat pics and the usual daily outrage from both ends of the political spectrum was a post from him letting everyone know what had happened but that he was going to be OK. Accompanying his post were some gut wrenching photos from the hospital that would make Evel Knievel cringe.

About a month ago, he left his studio and hopped on his motorcycle to run home and walk his dog over the noon hour.

He never made it.

He was struck by a Ford F-150 whose driver was on a suspended license and apparently considered stop signs to be optional. He did what he could to lessen the damage but when you’re getting creamed by a 4,000lb truck, there’s not going to be much you can do.

His bike literally exploded on impact. He broke both legs, his pelvis, his right arm, and jaw despite wearing a full face helmet. He spent two weeks in a coma and needed eight units of blood which is pretty much a full oil change. And if that wasn’t enough, he contracted pneumonia while comatose and required a tracheotomy.

But you know what?

Even though his bones are now infused with as much titanium as Wolverine has adamantium, he’s far from being down for the count.

In fact, he’s already weeks ahead of schedule with his physical therapy and I have a solid hunch that this will only be a minor detour on his path towards becoming the heir apparent to the title of Most Interesting Man in the World.

I’m not kidding either. This is just a brief rundown of the stuff he’s done: served in the Army, owned a bar on O Street, took up metal fabrication and moved to California to build bikes at West Coast Choppers before striking out on his own. In his free time, he travels around the world and recently began installing some rad guerrilla street art around LA. That’s a pretty good start, wouldn’t you say?

Not long after the news of what happened started flying around the Facebook, a plan for a visit down at the Long Beach VA Hospital was made. Thanks to some good timing (and a hall pass from the hospital staff) we ended up having mini high school reunion down in Huntington Beach. Some fellow classmates had coincidentally picked the perfect weekend to come out from Arizona and rent a beach house.

Even though some of us hadn’t seen each other in nearly 20 years, it took all of five minutes to pick up where we left off. The next few hours were spent laughing our asses off and getting mildly day drunk without of fear of getting busted by our parents. If it weren’t for the wheelchair in the room, you’d never know that anyone recently had a very near miss with death. The mood was that bright.

As it got closer to kickoff, the Huskers began to dominate the conversation. Even though we all went on our own adventures after high school, it was amazing to see how our fandom for the Big Red has never waned.

Not long after the game was underway, it was time for my road trip partner and I to return to LA so that he could celebrate his wife’s birthday.

On the drive back, I put my phone up on the dashboard and we listened to the game on the Huskers App. We hung on every word with suspense and hunched forward with our heads cocked like we were trying to hear the ocean in a conch shell. It had to be one of the more ridiculous sights on the 405 that afternoon.

I made it to our local Husker spot in the middle of the third quarter. I couldn’t miss the chance to celebrate a Husker win with the people I’ve been suffering with every Saturday.

I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t any swearing or dread (or Ohio State fan friends who moseyed over to our side of the bar just to bask in our misery) but when the Huskers got the ball back and Tommy threw that first frozen rope laser to Westerkamp, it became clear that this game was finally going to have a different ending.

And boy, did it ever.

The Huskers never quit and my friend sure won’t either.

After yesterday, they’ve both gone a long way towards getting back to their old selves.

A Couple of the Usual Sunday Things… 

Our Score Prediction: Granted things got more than a little hairy at the end but we’ve been saying for weeks that the Huskers would beat Michigan State.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: Somebody got his balloon back.

Mike Riley Balloon Michigan State

Now let’s get that bowl game and wreck Iowa’s season.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Purdue Edition

As Purdue closed out the third quarter by scoring their third unanswered touchdown to go up 42 – 16 , this Huskers’ season reached a turning point.

If you stuck it out to the end to see the Big Red almost steal a victory with a 29 point fourth quarter, congratulations. You are not afraid to go down with the ship.

Yesterday’s game was 3 hours and 45 minutes of gallows humor at its finest. If there was a scene in Titanic where some rapscallions from steerage said F-it and broke into the liquor storage instead of trying to escape,  that would have been the prefect summation of what it was like to watch this game in an empty bar where the staff outnumbered us Husker faithful who showed up for our weekly gut punch. (And no, the scene with the Brandy sipping Guggenheim does not count. He was far too classy.)

Hats off to Ryker Fyke. Dude played his ass off and made up for running game that didn’t make the trip to Indiana by throwing for over 400 yards and leading the Huskers to 45 points but with the Bankshirts getting torched worse than Thích Quảng Đức, his heroic effort was all for naught.

At the rate things have gone so far this season, it honestly won’t be surprising if the Huskers somehow end up rolling Michigan State next Saturday. 

On to the assorted random stuff!

Headlines if the New York Post covered Husker football

Huskers step in big pile of Purdue-do

The Huskers’ Season is Pur-done

Purdue or do not. There is no try. (The Huskers did not try.)

Boilermakers run a train on the Huskers

Mike Purrriley Won’t Be Purring Over Losing to Purdue.

Our Score Prediction

Purdue Score Prediction
Left the house dressed like a champion and couldn’t have been farther off-base with the final score. Get your own “Gamer Tee” at Nebraska Red Zone.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: We have reached DEFCON 1.

Thermonuclear Balloon

Sam Mckewon: Throws absolute hot fire in his post game video. It is a performance for the ages and is a must watch.

Oddest Paragraph In Dirk’s Post Game Column About a Road Trip From Hell: Suddenly it’s 2:30, your iPhone is dead, your wife forgot hers and the baby is waking up. Another turn. Wrong. Another turn. Wrong. 

Uh… Dirk, not keeping a phone charger in your car is just bad planning. You can get one for $8.99 and extra lightning cables are just $5.99. C’mon, buddy. You’re better than that.

And this leads to…

Important Piece of Life Advice #1: Even though you’ve been invited to a friend’s annual Halloween party for five years running, always take a moment to actually read the Evite to save yourself and your lovely wife the hassle and embarrassment of getting all dressed up, slogging through traffic for an hour, only to arrive in beautiful downtown Burbank to discover that the party happened the night before, on Halloween Eve. Lucky for us, it wasn’t a total surprise to our friends that I would pull such a move and they invited us in help them put a dent in the leftover party fare which included scarfing down a container of Jell-O shots.

Important Piece of Life Advice #2: Don’t skip dinner and hope that whatever nutrients are found in a container of Jell-O shots will be an appropriate substitute.

NUMBERS TO DEPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

31,351: The announced attendance at Ross-Ade Stadium which holds 62,500.  Yeah, right. Check out all the empty seats.

55: This was Purdue’s highest point total since they took down Indiana State 56-35 back in 2012. The last time the Boilermakers hung 60 or more points on a team was when they put up 62 against Indiana in 2008.

50: Back in the 1994 Matt Turman game, the Huskers ran the ball 50 times for 168 yards against Kansas State and three-yard-and-a-cloud-of-dusted their way to a 17-6 win on the road. Yesterday, the Huskers ran 22 times for 78 yards with Andy Janovich accounting for all of 2 yards on a pair goal line carries. This was the first time the Huskers have been held to under 100 yards rushing this season.

10: Purdue’s ten point margin of victory was the largest for any of the Huskers’ opponents this season. The next closest was BYU and a Hail Mary that led to a five point blowout. With Purdue’s win factored in, the Huskers’ average margin of defeat has ballooned to  3.83 points.

Even with the annual blowout or two factored in, the last four seasons under Bo Pelini, the Huskers’ average margin of defeat was 11.75 (2014), 16.25 (2013), 21 (2012), 19.75 (2011).

6: The number of Los Angeles fans who had the courage to step out into public to cheer-on the Huskers at our local watch site. We nearly cracked double digits when a UNL professor in town for a visit arrived with her son and daughter-in-law. She teaches leadership at Husker U. and had some great insights about how much work it really is to change the culture of a team but she still doesn’t like to see the Huskers losing how they are.

Husker Fans
Back when the season was still full of hope, this place was standing room only.

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View from the Boneyard: Northwestern

Ahh, yes. Northwestern. The team that the Huskers always seem to have oddly-close games that go to the very end. The team that fell victim to the Westerkatch. The team I always yell “Nerdwestern” at whenever we play them. Good ol’ Northwestern.

For this game, to go along with the alternate uniforms, The Iron N planned a shirt switch where students were told to arrive in red, and once the defense made their first appearance, put on a black shirt. On top of this, 6,000 Boneyard shirts were given out as students arrived to the stadium.

While I was super excited to hear about the plans, there was one problem: nearly everyone I sit with had to give out the shirts before the game.

My friend Bri (@brihoesing) and I, the two of us not responsible for shirts, arrived at Memorial Stadium before doors open and created our game-plan for saving two entire rows of seats despite only being two people.

There was one problem with our plan, though— Bri has two stress fractures in her foot and is in a boot. I had to pull this off on my own.

Luckily, it was an 11 am game against Northwestern and the Huskers had a 3-4 record, so there weren’t many people there to fight for spots. I found myself spreading out everything I could to stretch out over the rows: my sweatshirt, wallet, sunglasses, cell phone, new Boneyard shirt. Everything.

Bri eventually hobbled down the stairs and was able to help save seats, but we quickly discovered that spreading out our sweatshirts and everything else was going to make the windy 48 degree weather a joy to wait in.

With The Iron N’s directors helping with the shirt distribution, the marketing department needed help carrying the Go Big Red banner to the East Stadium student section. Normally, I’d count myself out as a candidate due to my lack of upper-body strength and my continued fatigue from mono, but when they bribed us with a free sweatshirt, I couldn’t say no. Everyone knows the best kind of sweatshirt is a free sweatshirt on a 48 degree day.

When it came time to actually carry the banner back and forth, I quickly realized that I was pretty much useless. But I was wearing a free sweatshirt, so at least I was useless and happy.

GBRbanner
The GBR banner is ready for action.

If there is one way to get today’s Husker fans on their feet and cheering, it’s bringing out the 1995 championship team during the Tunnel Walk. The student section was deafening with the arrival of the team, despite almost every student being in diapers when the team played, if they had even been born at all. But one thing’s for sure, they can all appreciate everything that team had accomplished.

The shirt switch had happened right away to start the first quarter, creating a sea of black Boneyard shirts for the annual blackout-the-student-section game. I know a lot of the more traditional Husker fans don’t really like the blackouts, but… come on. They look awesome.

The Huskers made it on the board on their first possession with a 43 yard field goal. Much like every other time the Huskers start out with a field goal, a sea of red balloons was released prematurely, causing a domino effect with everyone else that hadn’t released their balloons yet.

Northwestern responded quickly with a 1 yard run by Clayton Thorson, putting the Wildcats up 7-3. (Editor’s Note: Thank you for not mentioning his previous 68 yards.)

The mood in Memorial Stadium changed as Ross Dzuris sacked Thorson for a safety, in which the entire student section danced around with their hands clapped above their hands.

Both teams went scoreless until a pick-six caused the Wildcats to be up by 14-5 on the Huskers with 7:17 left in the half.

The Huskers didn’t take long to respond; a 10 yard pass to Brandon Reilly lead to Nebraska’s first touchdown of the game. Even though it was the first touchdown of the game, there was only a small handful of balloons released since everyone had jumped the gun earlier. Good job, guys.

During the second quarter, students were joined by the President of the University of Nebraska, Hank Bounds. Bounds posed for pictures as the Boneyard waved their flag and held up a fathead of him, which had been staring at me for nearly the entire half. Definitely not creepy, though. Definitely not.

president
This fathead was custom made. It’s not available at the campus bookstore.

Northwestern brought their marching band along for the trip and had them sit in their fan section. Naturally, I had to make a few dumb jokes about how they probably did that because they didn’t have enough fans to sit there, to which most people just rolled their eyes at me. Their band played songs from the Wizard of Oz and Wicked to start off halftime.

The Cornhusker Marching Band came out afterwards and had an entire set dedicated to classic karaoke songs. Nothing makes me realize how bad I am with lyrics like singing along to the marching band, but dang was it fun to scream-sing songs like Sweet Caroline and Livin’ on a Prayer with 89,000 of my closest friends.

The second half saw a lot more scoring, with a touchdown and a field goal for Nebraska and a field goal for Northwestern, putting the Huskers up 22-20.

If you’ve ever been to a game with me, you’ll know that one of my absolute favorite pump-up songs is Higher Ground by TNGHT. I’m sure you can only imagine my reaction to finding out that the Scarlets were dancing to it before the fourth quarter instead of the Huskers using the song to pump up the crowd in between plays. Kind of offended that my partner-in-crime Allison (@aliredredwine) and I weren’t invited on the field during the performance, because we put on quite the show when that song plays.

Normally, having a fourth quarter lead would be an exciting thing. After the past few years, I wouldn’t think twice about having a close game with Northwestern towards the end of the game, considering how close recent wins have been. But this season has conditioned me (and other fans, I’m sure) to not get too comfortable with anything once the final 15 minutes of the game come around.

Suddenly, a completed pass to Dan Vitale for 37 yards for a touchdown put the Wildcats up 27-22. A 27 yard field goal put them up 30-22. The familiar ending was near.

The Huskers answered on the next possession as Tommy Armstrong ran for 3 yards for a touchdown, bringing the score to 30-28. A failed two point conversion kept the Huskers from tying it up.

TommyTD
Tommy Armstrong scores his second touchdown of the day.

At this point, all anyone wanted was to keep Northwestern from scoring and get the Huskers to score something… Anything. These dreams were crushed as an unsportsmanlike conduct on Nebraska gave Northwestern the automatic first down, allowing time to expire.

Fans poured out of Memorial Stadium as the final seconds ticked down. Feeling defeated, I felt it necessary to scream at the Northwestern team to ask them if they remembered the Hail Mary from two years ago. Got ‘em.

Let’s just hope this team likes playing against road games enough to beat Purdue next weekend.

Hayley Archer is a senior Broadcasting major at UNL. Follow her on Twitter at @Harchinator.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Northwestern Edition

Just when you thought it was safe to assume the Huskers had stopped finding new and cruelly inventive ways to lose, the Big Red laid their biggest egg of the year with a mind boggling 28-30 loss to Northwestern.

The game summed up in two gifs.

DwEoXpx
Hans Moleman does his impression of any Husker receiver trying to catch a pass.

Sad-Cornhusker
The speed at which unbearable anguish turns grudging acceptance of one’s fate is incredible.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: Mike’s balloon is now a flaming pile of monkey poo ready to explode.

Mike Riley Poop Balloon

In case you didn’t notice, Back to the Future was in the news a little bit this week for some reason or another. One of the signature gags in the 2015 Marty visited in Back to the Future II, was that the Jaws franchise had worked its way up to a 19th installment.

Back to the Future 2 Jaws 19

As someone who saw BTTF2 in the theatre back in 1989, I can say with good authority that it was a legitimately funny moment because just two years earlier, Jaws: The Revenge delivered the franchise down to Davy Jones Locker and the thought of 15 more Jaws movies was even more preposterous than the idea of the Cubs eventually winning another World Series.

Should the time ever come where Universal gets bored with making Fast and Furious movies and decides to dust off Jaws, they could pick no better team to write films  5-19 than Mike Riley and his coaching staff. In the span of just eight games, they have shown they are the absolute masters of finding new ways to terrify an audience week in and week out.

It’s still too early to give up on these guys but you’d think that after eight games they’d start correcting the problems (pick a problem, any problem) that have been there since the season opener.

NUMBERS TO DEPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

30: More plays the Huskers ran than Northwestern.

21: Jordan Stevenson‘s longest kick return of the day and career so far. His still smoldering red shirt is not going to waste.

18:04: The Huskers’ time of possession advantage over Northwestern.

10.04: How many seconds it took for Northwestern quarterback Clayton Thorson to sputter 68 yards in the first quarter. By comparison, Taylor Martinez‘s 92 yard touchdown run at UCLA in 2012 took 10.92 seconds and he coasted the last 20 yards.

10: The number of different Huskers who, believe it or not, actually caught a pass.

7: The 1995 Huskers’ average yards per run.

6.06: The 2015 Huskers’ average yards per pass with the 1995 squad in attendance.

2: Number of times Andy Janovich carried the ball for a total of for yards.

0: Number of times Devine Ozigbo, aka the running back of the future three weeks ago, carried the ball for a total of 0 yards.

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Sorry, Northwestern. It’s Time For a Vintage Husker Ass Whoopin’.

Northwestern, you had a good three year run as a brainy thorn in Nebraska’s side but know this: last year’s 38-17 throttling on your home turf was just the tip of the iceberg.

It’s high time you accept the fact that your rightful place is down in the dregs of the Big Ten as the purple clad Wildcat that gets an annual beat down from the Big Red.

Christian Peter Huskers
It was really nice of the Big Ten to ensure that the Huskers would still be able to pummel some purple every year just like the good ol’ days of the Big 8/12.

Speaking of good ol’ days, the 1995 Husker squad, aka the greatest college football team in the known universe will be in attendance to celebrate the fact that 20 years have passed since they graced us with their presence on the gridiron. Just the fact that they’re assembled within the same area code as Memorial Stadium is good for at least two bonus touchdowns for the Huskers.

Tommie FrazierThe over/under for the number crab legs Tommie Frazier would take down was set at 62, as in 62-24. Don’t ever think Vegas doesn’t have a sense of humor.

With Mike Riley finally taking down his first legit opponent as head coach of the Huskers last Saturday, he got his first taste of Big Ten blood just like C. Thomas Howell in Red Dawn.

And if that wasn’t enough, we have it on semi-good authority that Coach Riley is ditching his Mister Rogers persona like a prom night dumpster baby for something with a little more attitude thanks to the help of Killer Mike from Run the Jewels.

Killer Mike and Mike Riley
Killer Mike and his new protege Killer Mike Junior.

In other words, you’re doomed, Northwestern.

Granted, you little Wildcats had a nice win against Stanford in the Nerd Bowl and looked pretty impressive blanking Minnesota but you’re coming in to Lincoln just when things are starting to click for the Huskers. The offense is starting to remember what it’s capable of and while the Blackshirts might still be more than a little shaky defending the pass, they at least remembered they too can catch passes and score touchdowns of their own.

And if that wasn’t enough bad news, Northwestern, one of your dozen or so loyal fans had to go make a video that proves Evanston truly is the place where Ivy League rejects find refuge.

Northwestern should really be thankful that Andy Janovich and Jack Gangwish probably haven’t seen this.

That revisionist history lesson was so much worse than Dick Cheney‘s recollection of Iraq War Numero Dos that we were forced to reply via the Twitter just to set the record straight on Cabbage Patch Kids and parachute pants. Seriously, WTF?

Look for Tommy Armstrong to run wild against Northwestern like it’s 2014 all over again.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Minnesota Edition

Clearly, there is something nicer than Mike Riley and that is Minnesota.

Thank you Golden Gophers for going into hiding and letting the Big Red run wild on your home turf and giving the Huskers a much needed 48 – 25 victory.

Wait… who are we kidding?

That was a good old fashioned Husker ass kicking.

Or at least as close as Riley and company could get to an old fashioned Husker ass kicking at this point in their tenure. Either way, it was a sight for sore eyes and the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy is in the possession of Husker Nation for at least a year.

Mike Riley’s first signature win as a Husker. 

The offense actually looked like an offense and the defense (mostly) looked like a defense. The secondary is still the biggest red flag for the Blackshirts as Minnesota quarterback Mitch Leidner had arguably a career day against the Huskers. Only the defense of 1 and 5 Purdue(!) was any worse this season at containing Leidner.

Regardless, winning is always better than losing.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: The flames have been extinguished. Win next week against Northwestern and Mike just might get his balloon back.

Mike Riley Poop Balloon

Our Score Prediction:

If the scoring could have stopped during the third quarter we would have nailed it.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

197: Andy Janovich‘s season rushing total so far, which is the most yardage gained by a Husker fullback since Steve Kriewald rang up 54 yards back in 2004.

69: Dude, Terrell Newby‘s 69 yard touchdown run off a zone read was the Huskers’ longest play of the season and led to the Big Red having a 100 yard rusher for the second time this year. Not that Danny Langsdorf needs to go all Tim Beck with the zone read but here’s hoping the success of that play inspires him to not be so shy turning to the “college football” section of his playbook in the future.

69: Percent, dude. Tommy Armstrong went 18 for 26 on the day with no interceptions, a solid rebound from the last two weeks of completing passes at a 35.5% clip.

6: Jordan Westerkamp made six catches for 76 yards, including a borderline ridiculous 27 yard grab on 3rd and 6 when things were getting a little tense in the fourth quarter. In the previous two games against Illinois and Wisconsin, Westerkamp had 3 receptions for a grand total of 17 yards.

2: The Huskers only had TWO penalties! They’re going to have break out the folding chairs and foreign objects next week against Northwestern if they’re serious about keeping the title as the most penalized team in college football.

0.2: Michigan State’s win probability percentage before Michigan’s ill-fated punt attempt to close out the game. Thank you Jim Harbaugh for making the world instantly forget about any of the Huskers’ last second meltdowns this season.

38 – 8: South Dakota State (aka the same Jackrabbits the Huskers played in 2013) scampered over to Youngstown, Ohio and thumped Bo Pelini’s Penguins 38 – 8.  This is the second consecutive game the ‘Guins have dropped and marks their first blowout loss of the season.

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View from the Boneyard: Wisconsin

This one was so personal.

As maybe like, two of you know (hi mom), while I go to school here in Lincoln, I’m originally from Minnesota. The Land of 10,000 Lakes, the inability to say the word “bag” and learning to cheer against all things Wisconsin before cheering for anything Minnesotan.

I still identify my favorite Husker game as the 2012 home win against Wisconsin. I made the trip out to Indianapolis for the B1G Championship game for my 19th birthday. There are so many memories of games against the Badgers.

This one hurt so badly.

Four hours before kickoff, less than ten students sat in line waiting for a wristband from the events staff. Any other year, you’d probably see quite the lineup that close to doors opening. But as time passed, the same familiar faces of east stadium arrived.

If you follow me on twitter (once again, hi mom), you’ll know that I was diagnosed with mono earlier this week. You can only imagine the chaos that ensued as I ran between the doors of east stadium and my practically-on-campus apartment three times before going in to the stadium. For the first time since the Wisconsin game in 2012, I missed doors opening. I’m an embarrassment. A disappointment. A disgrace. I’m sorry, Husker nation.

Worry not, however, because as I ran down the stairs (alone) to the front row, everything looked the exact same as every other game. The only difference was the group of drunk guys that ended up sitting in the row behind us and kept encouraging my incredibly awkward dancing throughout the game—as if I needed encouragement to embarrass myself.

Despite previous games, the entire crowd was just as energetic as always for the pregame events. The atmosphere changed as Alex Lewis said his introduction in the starting line up.

A chorus of boos echoed from various parts of the stadium. Another chorus of boos greeted Wisconsin as they ran on to the field. Typically, I’m completely against booing anyone other than the refs, but I made an exception just this one time.

This game started out the complete opposite of every Wisconsin game we’ve had in recent years: scoreless. An entire quarter of almost nothing but punts left everyone hopeful and thanking the football gods for the blessing that is Sam Foltz.

While Wisconsin was first to finally get on the board, it didn’t take the Huskers long to follow suit. A touchdown from Tommy Armstrong Jr. with just 2:40 left in the half left the Husker fans who were daring enough to get a game day balloon feeling relieved as they no longer had to deal with the hassle of keeping the balloon from flying away or hitting their neighbor in the face.

Just minutes later, a completed pass from Armstrong to Alonzo Moore for a touchdown put the Huskers up 14-7 at the half. Between a week of dealing with mono and the excitement of finally being up on the Badgers, halftime couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.

I’m gonna be real with you all, because I like to think of us all as friends (yet again, hi mom). The entire third quarter was almost a complete blur, with the exception of a field goal for the Badgers, which was soon joined by a touchdown and field goal early in the fourth to put the Badgers up 20-14. Honestly, with what then happened in the fourth quarter, it’s hard to think about much else.

The crowd was absolutely deafening as fullback Andy Janovich ran for 55 yards to put the Huskers up 21-20. The student section erupted as students ran up and down the aisles, hugging strangers as Let Me Clear My Throat blasted through the speakers. I went from struggling with the fatigue of mono to suddenly realizing exactly how Grandpa Joe felt when he finally got out of bed and danced around when Charlie got the golden ticket. It was truly an unforgettable moment.

Andy Janovich Touchdown
The joy of a Husker fullback rumbling 55 yards for a touchdown.

And then the game was over and the Huskers won.

…Just kidding.

Not long after the touchdown, Wisconsin was faced with a field goal attempt with just 1:26 remaining. Every person in the stadium held their breath as they watched the football fly through the air. I kid you not, that stadium was so quiet that you could hear the football go off the post from the other side of the field. The kick was no good.

missedFG
The goal post deserves a Blackshirt for blocking that field goal attempt.

And then the game was over and the Huskers won. (OK Hayley the joke wasn’t funny the first time, stop.)

All the Huskers had to do at this point was get the first down. Then we heard it, loud and clear in the east stadium student section: “We’ve got this! We’ve won! We beat Wisconsin!”

Every student within earshot turned to stare down the man who had clearly not watched any previous games this year and decided to jinx this one. Next thing we know, Foltz is running out to punt and everyone is watching the rest of the game through their fingers.

A 46 yard field goal attempt with just four seconds left sounds crazy and an absolutely heartbreaking way to lose a game—so naturally that’s how the game had to end.

You could physically see the disappointment hit each Husker fan as the Badger football team celebrated their victory. Some fans hurried out of the stadium, others chose to sit and mourn in their seat.

I’ve cried a total of two times in Memorial Stadium: Jack Hoffman’s touchdown at the spring game in 2013 and the Hail Mary pass. The third time nearly happened after that field goal.

Life would be so much easier if football games were only 59 minutes.

end-hiEvan
Husker faithful exited Memorial Stadium in stunned silence. Nice photobomb, Evan.

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5 New and Bizarre Ways the Huskers Can Lose To Wisconsin

With this year’s installment of Nebraska vs Wisconsin being the first match up since 1901 to have both the Huskers and the Badgers unranked, the hype for this game has all but been replaced by a feeling of dread for either side.

With the Huskers flailing to a 2 – 3 record and the Badgers at 3 – 2 thanks to a beat down against Alabama and an ugly 10 – 6 loss against Iowa, today’s contest doesn’t exactly set the table with blowout potential.

Which is good because frankly, watching the Huskers get blown out by the Badgers is getting old.  The Huskers need to find a new way to lose.

Look at this repetitive mess:

2011: 48 – 17 Nebraska fans are introduced to Russell Wilson.

2012: (round 2) 70 – 31 some kid named Melvin Gordon scampers for 216 yards on 9 carries.

2014:  59 – 24 Melvin Gordon runs wild for an NCAA record 408 yards. At least this time he needed to tote the ball 25 times in order to run almost a quarter mile. If you’re too lazy to do the math, his day worked out to a paltry 16.32 yards-per-carry.

In effort to spice up the bitter stew of defeat, here are just a few new and exciting ways the Huskers can lose to the Badgers today that are guaranteed to keep the water cooler conversation buzzing all week long.

5. Ryker Fyfe whiffs a tackle allowing Wisconsin running back Taiwan Deal score the winning touchdown in an otherwise close game. (It’s a long, arduous story but Ryker ends up filling it at linebacker after an already depleted corps is diminished even further as Coach Riley had ordered the back ups back ups to spend their game day slathering the new Riley homestead in allergen-free paint.

4. Alex Lewis blows kisses to the West Stadium crowd as the Huskers head back to the locker room at halftime. Wisconsin ends up winning by forfeit before halftime ends following the breakout of what will go down in history as the Great Blue Hair Riot.

3. The clock strikes 00:00 before Drew Brown gets a chance to chip in the game winner as Coach Riley forgets to call a time out in a scenario eerily similar to what happened to his Beavers in the 2012 Alamo Bowl.

2. The operator of Der Viener Schlinger blows a gasket and mows down the officiating crew following a botched call. The carnage caused by seasoned entrails makes everyone realize there is more to life than football and the game is suspended.

1. Rich Kaczynski‘s  halftime text messages to “his” players offers differing advice than that of the current coaching staff causing the Husker sideline to erupt into a full blown melee not seen since that time The Warriors were wrongly accused of shooting Cyrus. And just like that, the Husker football program spirals into new and even more unfathomable depths of dysfunction.

Or, the Huskers can somehow remember they are the daggum’ed Nebraska Cornhuskers and run a train on Bucky Badger and remind the college football world that the Big Red ain’t dead yet.

Positive thoughts, Husker Nation. Positive thoughts.

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Breaking Badgers with Cousin Ben

Since the Huskers joined the Big Ten, their battles with the Badgers have become an extra special time among my family, the vast majority of whom hail from the Land of Cheese and Swill Beer.

With my brother and I being the oddballs who grew up in Nebraska and raised as proper Husker fans from birth, a familial friction has sparked every time the Huskers and Badgers throw down. Mostly, it’s Badger backing cousins who take a jab or two before crawling back into the safety of their dens until the Badgers have jet sweeped their way to victory. Then the smack talk claws come out in full force.

The best of the worst in my family is my cousin Ben. He’s a 15-year-old three sport juggernaut and is an absolutely rabid fan of the Badgers and the Packers (you can see Lambeau Field from the end of his street). Ben knows more about sports than most people at ESPN and wields emojis like a master assassin. In other words, he’s a full-on honey badger when it comes to heckling the Huskers when they’re down.

Ben was gracious enough to take a break from his homework to give a glimpse into the world of Wisconsin athletics and what Husker fans can expect to see on Saturday.

Just so our readers get a sense of who they’re dealing with, tell us a little bit about your level of fandom for the Badgers. And this can be the all-encompassing Badgers, football, basketball, etc.

Well I live about two and a half hours away from Madison but I don’t think I’ve missed watching a Badger basketball or football game in about four or five years. I’ve gotten to see some amazing games like Melvin Gordon’s 408 yard game and that 70-31 slaughtering in the Big Ten Championship (okay, now I’m just teasing you) but it’s been an absolutely crazy ride. Being a Badger fan has brought me to Texas, LA, Indy and of course more times than I can remember, the best college town in America, Madison.

What are your favorite moments as a Badger fan? Best game you’ve been to?

My best moments as a Badger fan have probably been the three straight Rose Bowls and the two Final Fours. The fact that Wisconsin won three Big Ten titles with basically one QB that could throw the ball (sorry, Scott Tolzein) is pretty crazy. The best game I’ve been too would have to be is when Wisconsin beat #1 Ohio State back in 2010. I was just walking in when David Gilreath took back the opening kick and the Badgers dominated when I was in my seat as well. That’s the only game I’ve had the pleasure of storming the field for.

Does your mom ever get upset with how you and your dad disappear for most of March to chase the Badgers around the NCCA Tournament?

My mom just pretty much stays out of the way during March and early April because I think she just knows we could be gone. She did come to the Final Four last year so I think she was especially happy about that.

As a whole, Nebraska fans tend to be more than a little terrified of the Badgers, especially after the last couple times they’ve played. What do Nebraska fans have to scared about this year?

The Badgers always seem to have two things on their team: a great line, and a top back. This year, we thought we had the great back but (Corey) Clement has been out since the Bama game so that’s gone. Stave will be back to his ways where he can’t complete a pass if it’s not 25 yards down the field. The only real thing that will have Nebraska fans shaking their heads this year is going to be the defense. The line is solid, and maybe two of the best OLB in the country in Joe Schobert and Vince Biegal will have the lineman picking up Armstrong all game. The secondary is solid led by safetys Michael Caputo and the QB… I mean receiver…. no stick to safety Tanner McEvoy. (Editor’s note: Tanner changes positions more often than the Huskers change running backs.)

Will Joel Stave ever graduate? The dude has to be like 25 by now.

I sure hope he does soon.. They have a Sophomore QB named DJ Gillians that is a stud. Stave just isn’t very good against good teams. (Editor’s note: I think this may be a burn towards the Huskers.)

Do you think Barry Alvarez somehow find a way to get rid of Paul Chryst so he can coach another bowl game?

Haha. Barry is getting up there and Chryst is a Wisconsin boy so I think getting rid of him will be tough for about 3 years.

And on that note, how happy are you that Bret Bielema is Arkansas’ problem?

Goodness. That’s about the best thing the Badgers have going for them is watching Bielema choke. When they played Texas A&M, he called two pass plays on 3 and 4, and 4 and 4. If that would’ve happened in Madison, he probably wouldn’t have been picking up any sloozy college girls after the game.

What’s your prediction for the final score? I know you texted me but my phone is across the room and I’m too lazy to get up and look.

31-17 Badgers. I figure if it’s closer than that, Stave can throw up a prayer and the defense will either back away or push the receiver.

What are the Badgers’ chances for making it back to the Final Four this season? How will they ever replace Frank the Tank?

Not great but I think it’s better than what other people think. They have the best PG in the Big Ten (might be a bit biased there considering my dog is named after him) and a top 20 pick in next year’s draft that will anchor the team. I’m at least expecting a sweet sixteen run and since it’s Bo’s “last year” (Tony Bennett or Bo only) you never know what he can get the boys to do.

Are the Packers going to the Super Bowl or will they find a new and clever way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? That was so brutal how they lost last year.

I have no doubt in my mind right now that the Packers are the best team in the NFL right now. Last year I probably would have said that but I’m a lot more confident this year. Plus, the hands team is 2/2 this year I believe so that’s a good start towards not choking in the same way.

How does it feel knowing that after all the great running backs that Wisconsin has produced, the best running back in the entire history of the Green Bay Packers is Ahman Green who just happens to be from Nebraska?

The only thing I remember well about Amahn in his prime was he came to my school after a domestic abuse charge I believe and I told him not to beat his wife. True story.

Like I said, he’s a master assassin of talking trash.

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