All posts by Leslie Micek

STATE OF THE SEASON:

Nebraska football is like an ex boyfriend, it makes me sad only because I think it can make me happy. I was ready to find alternate Saturday plans after the first three Husker games of the season. I was thinking about taking up roller derby, or volunteering, or just becoming an Alabama fan (Roll Tide), but after just one mediocre Husker win, I have been sucked back into the sink hole that is Nebraska football. I am now convinced there is at least a 3.8% chance they beat Wisconsin after this lay up of a game against Illinois.

And can we talk about how much Friday night games (or Friday games in general, get rid of the Black Friday game permanently, please) stink? I want to watch high school football on a Friday night, not football that reminds me of high school football. Also, I am a routine person and I have a very specific fall Saturday routine. How the hell am I just supposed to get in the groove on a Friday night? I use my Fridays to relax and hit the hay early before I wake up at 4am and panic until Gameday starts. It’s just not right.

**Can Mike Riley win back the hearts of Husker Nation?**

Plus, Illinois is coming off a bye and the Huskers have a short week? What genius agreed to this? Oh, I think he was just canned, for good reason, because this is absolutely moronic. The only good thing is that if the Huskers lose, I already know what excuse I’m giving, it’s always nice to be prepared. Short rest everyone, that’s the excuse we will be going with. Have it prepared should you need it.

WE’RE OVER NORTHERN ILLINOIS (no I’m not) AND ONTO ACTUAL ILLINOIS

You would be hard pressed to come up with a list of positive things to say about the Huskers this season so I’m just going to say a bunch of negative things about the other team. When Illinois played before their well timed bye, Lovie Smith took his band of losers down to Tampa and got absolutely rocked by Charlie Strong and USF. Under no circumstances should B1G teams be getting knocked around by these little schools, but here we are (Hello, Northern Illinois). Anyway, Illinois had 3 turnovers during the game which is also something I can’t make fun of, this is turning out to be a list of negative things about Nebraska, how did that happen? I’m going to stop looking at Illinois stats now because they are just telling me that Nebraska is equally as bad.

The Blackshirts have been looking better, the only problem is the offense is looking as bad as the defense looks good. Nebraska can win this game IF Tanner Lee isn’t a turnover machine and to be honest, I don’t know that I see that happening. I think we should all agree that if Tanner throws 2 picks, he is out and POB is in. Why not try it? It can’t get worse. Another great excuse to have ready is that basically the entire team is injured. The O-line is a disaster. Stanley Morgan Jr. is traveling but who knows how much he will play. Tre Bryant, out. Kalu, out. Marcus Newby, out. The positive news of the week is that Chris Jones seems to be on the mend faster than people expected, he told us he would be, and I appreciate a man that keeps his promise. Now when will you actually be back in a game, Chris? I’m hoping the offense comes out a little bit calmer and ready to go without relying on the defense to clean up their mess.

I guess I’m going with Nebraska 24, Illinois 14.

P.S. There is a very slim chance that you will even see this considering the last few of my blogs have been deleted because Word Press is the devil but if you happen to see this, thanks for reading and I just want you to know that my blog about the Oregon game was the best blog of all time and just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean you can’t refer to it as such. Whatever, Go Big Red. Also, Go Dodgers.

P.P.S. That goddamn Kirk Herbstreit. I knew the second he picked Nebraska to win vs Northern Illinois that the Huskers were toast. I think he picked Nebraska every time they lost last season. He probably has a little voodoo doll at home that he puts pins in and then goes and says the Huskers are going to win and laughs to himself. Cut it out, man.

For real-time hot takes from Leslie, follow her on Twitter – @lesmicek

College Football, Huskers

Tennessee vs Lockdown U: Your Music City Bowl Preview

December 30, 2016 Leslie Micek

Sometimes you wonder how you got somewhere. I have a feeling both Tennessee and Nebraska are wondering how they got to the Music City Bowl.

Tennessee was ranked #9 in preseason polls and picked to win the SEC East at SEC Media Days. I think people started to second guess those predictions when Tennessee went into OT in their season opener against App State. They failed to meet those high expectations and finished behind Florida in the SEC East. The Vols finished conference play with a 4-4 record and against top 25 teams they were 2-2.

The Huskers were on the other side of things. Coming off a 2015 season with a record of 6-7, they weren’t ranked or expected to do much at all. At one point this season they were ranked #7 and on a seven game win streak. They played well with the Badgers and lost in OT, which was a heart breaker. The season kind of fell apart due to injuries after that but my point is that they weren’t ever supposed to be ranked #7 at any point. Neither of these teams were supposed to have either of these seasons. Which, I think is why we all love college football.

Now that I have set the scene, let’s let loose and get delusional like only true fans can do.

Nebraska vs. Tennessee is one of those games that I should probably watch at home by myself because I have already talked myself into a Husker win, and talking yourself into that before the game starts usually leads to a bunch of cuss words being yelled at a TV.

Tennessee was pretty banged up earlier in the season but looks to be mostly healed up and their starters are ready to go. The bad news is that the Huskers can’t say the same. Recently the Huskers have lost QB1, an irreplaceable mustached WR, a safety that can’t bother to attend class, a redshirt freshman WR, and a few recruits. I would like to share something with you. You gotta be down to get up. Any seasoned gambler would know this is the part where you say “I’m due.”

And the Huskers are due.

Tennessee is definitely beatable. Everybody thought they were going to bust out some impressive run this year and talked them up until they went into OT with Appetizer State. They were pretty consistent in the first few games with come from behind wins that every gambler will remember, with that Tennessee – Florida game being especially brutal. But, then there is the bad Tennessee who lost to Vanderbilt in their last game. They are kind of like the Huskers in the way that you just don’t know which team is going to show up.

The Tennessee QB, Josh Dobbs, has thrown for 2,655 yards and 26 touchdowns this season. You might think that sounds like trouble when you look at Ryker Fyfe who has thrown for 315 yards and 2 touchdowns. No, no, no. What that tells me is that Ryker is fresh. Josh Dobbs sounds like he is probably tired and worn out. Ryker is just getting going, Dobbs is ready to retire. I like our odds in the QB category.

Jalen Hurd, Tennessee’s best RB got the hell out of there and flat out left the team midway through the season when a game against Nebraska started to look possible. So they don’t even have their best RB. Again, I like that. I would talk about the Tennessee WRs but that would mean that I don’t have any faith in our defense and it’s not called Lockdown U for nothing, folks. So I’m not going to talk about wide receivers that aren’t even going to touch the ball, that would be a waste of my time. I’m also not that concerned about the Tennessee defense considering UK scored 36 on them and then Mizzou scored 37 actual points. And they lost to VANDERBILT. Even Mizzou beat Vanderbilt! That tells me that their defense is actually nonexistent at times.

To be honest, now I’m even more convinced of a 10 win season. Huskers by two touchdowns. #GBR

For real time hot takes from Leslie, follow her on Twitter- @lesmicek

Big Ten, College Football, Huskers

The Saddest Thing I’ve Ever Done

November 8, 2016 Leslie Micek

Saturday, November 5: 6:47pm

It’s 13 minutes before the Ohio State game and I am weirdly calm. Mike Riley has even coached me to stay calm and just relax at game time. It’s oddly reassuring. I’m just over here sipping a Budweiser and waiting for the game to begin. The Huskers have a chance to pull this off. My score prediction is 28-21. I think it’s going to be close but the Huskers want this. They know what it feels like to have a failed season and don’t want it to happen again. This Ohio State team doesn’t really know that feeling. Something just tells me that this game is going to go to the good guys. The Huskers. I know this team is beaten up and I’m sure I will be posting my post game reaction and feeling totally different. Like a moron. Because that’s what Husker fans have come to expect. Disappointment. But not tonight. I won’t accept that this season is ending tonight. I can’t.

7:15pm

Tommy threw a pick six on the first drive… might start watching Bama LSU

8:18pm

Ohio State: 21, Nebraska: 3

Actually might start watching Bama LSU

8:28pm

Punt recovered by Nebraska. I see hope. But it might be the beer talking.

8:38pm

It’s been a few minutes since Tommy went down. I’m scared. He is being carted off. He just gave the thumbs up. Who cares about this game at this point, just want him to be OK. Tommy has been the heart and soul of Nebraska for the past few years. He really is the best player on the team just because I never ever see him give up. And that’s all I can ask.

8:42pm

Ryker is in after Tommy is taken to the hospital. Morale is low. Hope is disappearing. I’m running low on beer.

9:25pm

12 seconds into the second half. Touchdown Ohio State. I feel like I’m watching a train wreck. Why am I still watching this?

9:41pm

So Tommy is just running back into the stadium in scrubs right now. The guy is a damn robot. Just happy to see him back.

10:09pm

Ohio State: something over 50, Huskers:3

I’m done with this blog

Tuesday, November 8: 6:20pm

Remember when I thought it was smart to attempt to live blog a Nebraska vs. OSU game? I do. And I’m a delusional idiot.

For real time hot takes from Leslie, follow her on Twitter- @lesmicek

Big Ten, College Football

Herbie vs. Herbie: An Investigative Report

October 24, 2016 Leslie Micek

Our good friend Kirk Herbstreit has gotten a lot of hate over the last few weeks for his childish demeanor towards Nebraska, not only online but also live on ESPN’s College Gameday.

It isn’t anything new but I decided to look into some of his antics and bring you the Best of the Worst of Herbie. I’m not sure if he actually hates Nebraska or just loves being a troll, decide for yourself.

Piece of Evidence #1: Kirk Herbstreit is a Whining Little Girl

Listen, I didn’t make the title of that video but it isn’t that far off. Be a bigger baby, Kirk. You can’t. ESPN asked the fans to vote to decide the best CFB teams of all time and Kirk doesn’t like the results so he threw a tantrum for the history books. If Lou Holtz is looking sane, you have some self reflection to do.

Evidence Item #2: Twitter

Kirk Herbstreit didn't mind Pelini because Kirk never won any big games either — **The most annoying argument of all time**

herbie-troll-3 — **Cameo by a Friend of the Fury, Brett Baker.**

Piece of Evidence #3: October 15, 2016

Herbstreit and his gang of analysts predicted the Huskers would lose again, but this time they did it with sarcasm and disrespect. Guys, these are college kids, if you don’t think they are a top 10 team, at least show a little respect. They can’t do anything other than play the teams on their schedule and win. And so far, they have.

The Gameday hate didn’t go unnoticed, either. Several Husker players used it as motivation.

Also, let’s just be clear about this, Kirk was being sarcastic when he picked Nebraska vs. Indiana. Kirk has been tweeting this week and trying to say he was sincere. Kirk must think Nebraskans are that stupid, but believe me, Kirk, I am well versed in the art of sarcasm. I know it when I see it, Kirk.

Now I have been showing all the evidence that might make it look like Kirk hates Nebraska. What about the evidence showing that he might like us?

So yes, you will find some positive things that may suggest Herbie doesn’t actually hate Nebraska. But then you see this:

Is he just bringing Nebraska up to bring them down?

Or is he finally starting to see the light?

Boys and girls, men and women, Kirk Herbstreit has spoken and I believe him. Kirk has probably decided to like Nebraska because he now hates Penn State.

To be fair, I enjoy Kirk when he isn’t hating on dear old Nebraska U. Maybe the relationship is just complicated. Maybe Herbie wanted to be QB at Nebraska instead of Ohio State, which I would understand. Maybe he hates the best fans in college football. Or maybe I screenshotted all these tweets for nothing and am reading too far into this. I’m not declaring this a war yet, just an annoyance. Oh well, we still got to watch the Kirk Herbstreit is a Whining Little Girl video again, and that’s good enough for me.

P.S. How are Desmond Howard and David Pollack still employed? I guess that’s a different blog.

Big Ten, College Football, Huskers

Side-to-Side: A look back at Northwestern and Ahead to Illinois

September 30, 2016 Leslie Micek

Last weekend in Chicago was a blast and I feel sorry for everyone who missed out on the fishbowls at Kirkwood. Then there was the actual game, which I have hardly heard about because before the game, they played the National Anthem. (I fully support our players kneeling for their beliefs and am glad they have people talking, even the stupid ones, because those idiots prove why they are needing to take a stand). But yes, there was an actual game played and it hasn’t really been talked about. The Huskers won. They are 4-0. You read that correctly, 4-0!!!!! I haven’t been this happy since the day Bo got fired (November 30 will always be a personal holiday).

Side note: There was a Northwestern player that really stood out to our group. #46 SB Eric Lutzen. Kid had energy for days and was the only Wildcat that I saw never give up. He cheered his team on more than anybody in that stadium. I need this kid to get some playing time. He’s got the most important intangible of all: heart. Get him out there, Fitz.

The only Northwestern player that I liked. — **Eric Lutzen, the only Northwestern player that I liked.**

A LOOK AT ILLINOIS

Lovie Smith was hired at Illinois so people would know the name of one person associated with the program. The last time Illinois won in Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge was president. The year was 1924. The 2016 Illinois squad is coming off two losses from Western Michigan and North Carolina. If I were a betting woman, I would guess that ESPN will remind us of their big win in the first week against the powerhouse that is Murray State. 52-3. A win like that will take it out of you for the next two games so the losses just make sense.

screen-shot-2016-09-30-at-1-14-21-pm — **Yes, I do fill out scores in my Phil Steele preview.**

They are probably coming off their bye week and rolling into Lincoln HOT and ready for a piece of the Blackshirts. Just kidding. I might not even go into the game this weekend because it’s going to be so sad to watch. I can tell you the coach’s name, but I can’t name one player on this Illinois squad besides their QB Wes Lunt.

screen-shot-2016-09-30-at-10-10-48-am — **Going to school at Oklahoma State but playing football for Illinois seems like it’s probably an NCAA violation**

Nobody in the country has watched an Illinois game this season. Probably not even the players because their play would suggest they are not watching film. Looking at their depth chart:

**Jeff George must really hate his kid to let him play at Illinois.**

Anyway, the biggest Nebraska concern is a situation with the offensive line. The situation being that both starting guards are now out. RG Tanner Farmer was injured against Northwestern and is out against Illinois. LG Corey Whitaker, who replaced Farmer during the game last Saturday, will again be in for Farmer against Illinois. It looks like Cole Conrad, a sophomore walk-on, will be the backup tackle, center, and guard. Don’t read that last sentence again because it is scary. WR Alonzo Moore will also be out against Illinois. The good news is that this is Illinois which should be like a bye week, followed by an actual bye week, so there should be time for some of these guys to recover.

What I’m going to need to see on Saturday:

*Coach Dub back on the sideline.

*Cole Conrad still on the sidelines the whole game.

*More Mikale Wilbon. Like a lot more Mikale Wilbon.

*A DPE house call.

*Nate Gerry continue to be Nate Gerry (he has made 25/26 tackle attempts. I guess that is pretty good).

*A Chris Jones interception.

*All of the commits that are visiting to commit (looking at you Joseph Lewis and Rahyme Johnson).

I’d name a few more things but I’m going to keep this list realistic.

See you folks tomorrow in Lincoln. GBR.

College Football, Huskers

Second Earthquake Strikes Lincoln

September 21, 2016 Leslie Micek

On September 3^rd, at approximately 7:02 am, an earthquake struck Oklahoma and was felt all the way in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Then, on September 17^th, at approximately 2:41pm, another earthquake struck. This time, in Lincoln. A new fault line has been detected directly under Memorial Stadium.

Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

It’s been a long time since the energy reached that level in the 3^rd largest town in Nebraska on gameday. At times the stadium was actually shaking, it was so loud the woman in front of me kept covering her ears (sorry lady, but I wasn’t about to stop screaming because you forgot your earplugs). Not even the man behind me going off on a 20 minute tangent about the zone read or the lady crushing my legs with her dumbass reclining plastic seat cushion could ruin my gameday.

Saturday was just what the Huskers needed. It seems that the entire team has bought into Mike Riley’s program and it’s really fun to watch. They just never give up. From DPE being back (hell YES, he is one of my favorite players to watch), to Ozigbo proving he is the number one back, to the D getting those big stops, Westerkamp catching anything that comes his way, and Tommy being the most durable player that I have ever seen, it was fun as hell to watch. I’m not saying there weren’t times where I wanted to sit down and close my eyes, because there were. After last season, it’s hard to watch a close game, but it’s nice to see the team has more confidence and bravery than I do.

https://youtu.be/HtKXFJIIlZc

The tailgates were in prime form. I first went to a tailgate east of the stadium in the horseshoe thanks to an invitation from Todd’s brother, Troy. It was completely catered and had bartenders. That’s how you do it, invite a bunch of strangers over and serve them alcohol. The basics of tailgating. I didn’t get a picture of it because I was sort of preoccupied by drinking somebody else’s free alcohol.

Post victory we headed to the Champions Club where my friend’s family had the best celebration happening in Lincoln. Anywhere with beer, food, a TV, and a place to sit outside the stadium is going to be a pretty ideal situation.

Also, if you were at the game on Saturday, go find yourself in the Gigapixel panoramic photo that was taken during the game. Then, if you have nothing else going on in your life, you can tag your face with a big red N.

Onto the Next One

The upcoming Northwestern game brings the start of conference play. I hate Northwestern just about as much as a person can hate a team for no real reason. Quite frankly, a team that is 1-2 doesn’t even deserve my time. But I will be there, and so will thousands of other Husker fans because we travel to Evanston better than people who live in Chicago travel to Evanston (Sad!).

Have you even seen that disgusting dump known as Ryan Field? It’s a field of potholes with some grass accidentally growing in between. Somebody is going to get injured out there and I’m going to write the NCAA a sternly worded letter wondering why they don’t do something about that disgraceful junk pile that moonlights as a stadium. Those nerds over at Northwestern can’t figure out how to even out their field and grow some grass at a reasonable length? Whatever. The good news is that we can all focus on the real beauty on the field that day: the only alternate uniforms I have ever liked.

Hoping Tommy gets a lot of rest this week and drinks a lot of pickle juice. I heard Caleb Lightbourn say that this last week he tried to prepare for the game more by sticking to more of a routine before gameday. Well, it looked like it worked to me, he improved by about a million percent. So get back to that routine. Doesn’t sound like they are sure about Brandon Reilly returning just yet but he should be back to full-speed soon. I had a dream that Westy got hurt so hopefully I’m zero percent psychic.

I would go into more detail about Northwestern’s team but I don’t want to waste your time talking about a 1-2 team. We all have better things to do than that. Plus, apparently some Northwestern fan is doing a guest blog for us. So keep an eye out for that, or don’t.

If you or anyone else is making the trip, there’s a Husker bar called Kirkwood that fans are meeting up at earlier on Saturday, followed a trip to the stadium and some tailgate crashing. It looks like there is a big Nebraska tailgate as well. Here is the info. Hopefully we will see some of you there and watch the Huskers move onto a 4-0 start to the season and their first conference win.

P.S. Never Forget.

Huskers

Memorial Stadium, We Need to Talk

September 6, 2016 Leslie Micek

By now everybody has posted their play-by-play review of the game on Saturday. I’m not going to give you another one of those, you get it. Things can change, Nebraska actually ran the ball.

Now I’m looking for more changes at Memorial Stadium. Or I’m going to possibly get in trouble.

Football games make me want to fight people

— Leslie Micek (@lesmicek) September 4, 2016

I’m not ranking these changes that need to happen. They are all of equal importance.

Cheese Runzas

Why is it 2016 and I can only get a plain Runza at Memorial Stadium? If you asked 100 people if they wanted a plain Runza or a cheese Runza, 98 of them would say a cheese Runza, and the other two people wouldn’t have opinions worth respecting. Everything is better with cheese. Now I expect this to be changed by Saturday.

Children

Two kids behind us somehow separately fell two rows down onto my mom during the game. Glad my mom was there to break their fall. Just kidding, her back hurts and the mom didn’t even apologize. If that’s the amount of attention you are going to be paying to your kids, how about you pay a sitter. I don’t want to go to a game and have children bothering me the whole time. I don’t have kids because I wouldn’t know what to do with them. But I know what to do with yours. Parents, here is my suggestion.

The Wave

Is this the wave that ruined everything?

To quote The Boneyard, “‘The Wave’ started spontaneously in 2012, students and the band will lead the wave throughout the entire stadium, controlling its speed and direction.”

But, according to Leslie Micek of Big Red Fury, the wave should spontaneously stop in 2016. The wave is an abomination. The wave is for followers. The wave is for people who stand up because somebody else stands up. And don’t even get me started on how people in Memorial Stadium do the slow-mo and fast wave. What the hell is that about? Just stop it and watch the damn game.

Stadium Seats

Always nice to have those hard plastic backs be in the space that was meant for your knees

If you give me enough trash bags, I will go around the stadium before the game and end this once and for all. These take up more than one seat and I am going to take a measuring tape to the game and measure a seat and then measure the whole bench because I know I’m right. The only exception I will make is for super old people, I’m fine with the elderly having them but if you are in your 40s or something and need a cushion, stay at home in your La-Z-Boy and watch the game.

Actually, I know I said I wasn’t going to rank anything but I can go without cheese on my Runza if these are all thrown away by Saturday.

I guess life is about priorities.

Bo Pelini, College Football, Huskers

Gear Up For Gameday

August 25, 2016 Leslie Micek

If you search ‘Huskers’ on eBay, a bunch of things that don’t need to exist happen to show up for sale. So whether you are looking for a new jacket for October tailgating or some artwork for the man cave, get ready for gameday with my eBay round up. In honor of Ryker Fyfe, here are the top 17 Husker items up for sale.

17. Youth Nebraska Cornhuskers Taylor Martinez Small Jersey

Who this is for: A little kid that you hate.

Why you should buy it: I don’t know. It’s basically free, I guess.

Taylor Martinez kids jersey — Too bad it’s not autographed

16. Women’s Nebraska Huskers Lingerie Night Gown

Who this is for: The very lucky lady in your life.

Why you should buy it: As seen on Victoria’s Secret models, probably.

15. Vintage Nebraska Cornhuskers Glass?

Who this is for: CU Fans.

Why you should buy it: To break it.

This Ebay user should be reported for listing this as a Nebraska item

14. Vintage Nebraska Pager Cover

Who this is for: Somebody who still has a pager.

Why you should buy it: There is only one of these and probably only one person with a pager so it’s a match.

13. Nebraska Cornhuskers Vinyl Stadium Seats

Who this is for: Awful people who use these.

Why you should buy it: You shouldn’t. If you sit next to me in these, I’m going to hate you. They take more than one space. You are at a football game, I have faith that you can survive for a few hours without cushions.

If you have to sit on these, you have no business being at a football game

12. Corn Coozies

Who this is for: Men, women, and children.

Why you should buy it: This is one of those items that you didn’t know that you need, but you definitely do.

A Budweiser would look good in one of these

11. Nebraska Cornhuskers bed in a bag

Who this is for: I could see Taylor Martinez having this in his room. Or people who like to have nightmares about mediocre football.

Why you should buy it: It will match your new lingerie.

Act quickly. There are only 10 available, so not everybody will get one.

10. 1997 National Champions T-shirt

Who this is for: Somebody looking for a faded gray t-shirt

Why you should buy it: They haven’t made any of these since 1997

Over priced since you will be able to buy a brand new 2017 version soon

9. Portable Tailgate Cornhole Set

Who this is for: Anybody that wants me to visit their tailgate.

Why you should buy it: Because it’s awesome.

Screen Shot 2016-08-22 at 2.15.20 PM — More than 10 available means I better see some of these at the tailgates

8. Vintage 1997 Huskers Football Unisex Glass

Who this is for: Anyone who loves equal rights and the 1997 Cornhuskers.

Why you should buy it: Not often do you come across a glass that both men and women can drink out of.

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 5.36.03 PM — Equal rights for all drinkers

7. TOM OSBORNE Nebraska Cornhuskers artist signed FOOTBALL ART vintage champions

Who this is for: People who are fans of vintage champions, that’s a nice way of saying they haven’t been recent champions.

Why you should buy it: Art is pretty good investment, and lucky for you, there are more than 10 available at the low, low price of $14.99.

6. Nebraska Huskers 90s Starter Jacket

Who this is for: Someone who can fit in a child’s XL.

Why you should buy it: It’s cool as hell and there is no denying it.

I'm going to look so good in this — I’m going to look so good in this

5. Taylor Martinez Signed Photo

Who this is for: Somebody with $40 too much money in their bank account.

Why you should buy it: Probably don’t.

Closed eyes, full hearts, can't lose — Closed eyes, full hearts, can’t lose

4. Tom Osborne and Bo Pelini Signed Football

Who this is for: A true fan who remembers the best of times and the worst of times.

Why you should buy it: Similar versions with only a Tom Osborne signature are about $100 more. This is a bargain. Just white out Bo’s signature.

Free shipping because the owner wants this out of their house

3. Rare Warren Buffett and Tom Osborne Autographed ball

Who this is for: People who weren’t interested in the bargain Bo Pelini ball above.

Why you should buy it: Maybe it comes with an authentic email from Warren asking why you just wasted $3,500.

Warren would not approve of this investment

2. Nebraska Huskers Recruiting Machine Telephone

Who this is for: Anybody that has the numbers for Darnay Holmes or Joseph Lewis.

Why you should buy it: If a recruit knew you were calling on this, they would probably commit immediately.

Probably the only missing piece in the recruiting process

1. Bo Pelini business card

Who this is for: A collector of rare items, misprints, and mistakes.

Why you should buy it: Stick this in your man cave so the next time the Huskers lose, you can remind everyone who is really at fault.

Big Red Fury | The Fun Side of Husker football