All you need to know about why Iowa sucks summed up in one photo.
Slipknot- the pride of Iowa and the very first band I ever walked out on. I just couldn’t stand to watch masked dipshits (one of whom was playing a dented beer keg) try to incite a crowd of 15 to start a mosh pit. (RIP, Ranch Bowl.) As a rule, I try not to judge people on their choice in music or religion but Slipknot is a rare exception, right up there with Creed and Avril Lavigne. The internet says that fateful day would have been August 15, 1998 but I swear they opened for Fishbone and the Internet says that gig would have been April 25, 1996. Hmm… I might be confused as all heck right now but one thing I’m not confused about is my staunch belief that Iowa can suck it for unleashing figgin’ Slipknot into the world. If you happen to be a fan of Slipknot, I commend you for trying to read all these big words.
Scouting Report: Back before the season started, Steven M. Sipple declared Iowa the team to beat in the Big Ten West. The Hawkeyes then went on to struggle against Northern Iowa and Ball State before going on to lose at home against Iowa State.
From that low point, Iowa’s season has been a schizophrenic roller coaster. A week after thumping Northwestern 38 – 7, they got reamed by Minnesota 51 – 14 and then followed that up by taking Wisconsin to the wire in a 26 – 24 loss.
And that’s all the research you’re getting out of this site. Too… full… of… pie… and… stuffing… to… process… thoughts.
Ideal Scenario: The Huskers summon whatever pride they may have left and show Iowa who’s the boss for the third time in four years. On the flip side, if the game gets ugly for the Huskers, may it be the meltdown to end all meltdowns.
Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 5 – The only way Bo can top nearly taking a swing at a ref is actually taking a swing at a ref. It just might happen. Then again, the Huskers could just sac up and roll Iowa.
Question That Needs an Answer: Which poor World-Herald writer had to take a timeout from their Thanksgiving to write a story about a @FauxPelini Twitter conversation? That’s like the sad, 21st century version of monitoring the chatter on a Radio Shack police scanner. Bonus questions: And why do they only report Faux’s latest zingers? Don’t they realize his cat can also bring the heat in 140 characters or less? Could it be because Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain can’t handle his little Twitter claws?
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