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View from the Boneyard: Southern Miss

After an entire pot of coffee at 6:30 in the morning, I knew that Saturday morning’s homecoming game against Southern Miss was going to be an interesting one.

The first challenge of the morning was to go to LaMar’s and ask for the “game day special” and get whatever they give you. But after one smart ass comment of “watch as it’s something like seven dozen donuts” from me, our friend decided that it might not be worth the risk. Instead, we all stuck with the tried-and-true red and white sprinkles.

We honestly weren’t expecting too many people to be at the gates for such an early start time, so we were shocked when we walked up around 8:20 to see a decent sized line already formed outside of east stadium.

All of the usual costumes made an appearance that morning, with the addition of @brus_almighty ‘s Westerstache drawn on his chest. Being the pun enthusiast that I am, I took it upon myself to name the long lost brother of the Westerstache: the Chesterstache.

chesterstache
Behold the glory of the Chesterstache.

Despite the turnout, we still got our usual seats. Partially from skill and experience, but mostly from the fact that most people were still half asleep and struggled to maintain anything more than a brisk walk to get to their seats.

Since this game was an 11 am game, there weren’t any games being played on the HuskerVision screen to pass the time. Luckily for me, the girls sitting in the row behind me brought in a deck of cards and invited me to play a game of Go Fish with them. In all of my years of going to Husker games, I still can’t believe that I had never thought of that. I also never thought that I would be as competitive at Go Fish at 8:30 am as I was, but you learn something new every day.

Time actually went by quickly waiting for the game to start, especially with additional things happening for homecoming. But to me, nothing says “home” quite like the collective off-beat clapping to Sirius during the Tunnel Walk.

Everyone seemed eager early on to let go of their red balloons, so when the crowd saw what appeared to be a touchdown, the sea of red balloons took flight. Despite protest from the rest of the fans that had realized that we were on the 4 yard line, balloons continued to be released throughout the next two snaps.

A fumble recovery by Kevin Williams on Southern Miss’s next possession helped wake up the crowd. During this time, I was challenged by my dear friend, the camera man from across the stadium. (If you’re new here, I urge you to read last game’s story.)

However, a star emerged early in the second quarter: Andy Janovich. After a gain of 25 yards, students could be heard chanting “Janovich” and “run the fullback.”

band
The superhero themed halftime show was great even if the Batman logo wasn’t visible from field level.

Everything seemed promising as the Huskers came out to start the second half with a score of 22-0. Then things got ugly.

The first three possessions by the Huskers resulted in an interception, a missed field goal, and a fumble recovered by Southern Miss’ D’Nerius Antoine.

game
The Blackshirts hunker down to keep Southern Miss out of the end zone.

Despite scoring another touchdown to make the score 29-7, an on-side kick successfully recovered by Southern Miss caused Husker fans to expect the worst, especially with how many of the games had been ending this season.

The east stadium student section saw some excitement as the Huskers had to punt for the first time. A large white banner that read “Foltz fer Hizemin” in Chick-Fil-A writing was brought out immediately after the punt. After working on the banner until 2 am just a few nights before, I was just happy that we got a chance to show it off.

The Huskers were soon looking at a 36-28 score against the Golden Eagles with just seconds left in the game. Surrounded by worried fans, my natural sports-optimism came our strong as I reminded everyone that Southern Miss would need to not only get a touchdown, but complete the two-point conversion just to tie, and how absolutely ridiculous that would be.

Then I remembered the Miami game just last weekend and joined everyone in their panic.

Thankfully, the game ended with a sack by Freedom Akinmoladun as time ran out. All I have to say is: let Freedom ring.

end
There would be no Hail Mary anxiety this time.

Hayley Archer is a senior Broadcasting major at UNL. Follow her on Twitter at @Harchinator.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: Southern Miss Edition

Pop quiz: What’s the best part of a Sunday?

There’s no chance of a Husker football game to stress you out.

The game should have been a cakewalk but Southern Miss just had to add itself to the ever-growing list of teams that have given Husker Nation heart attacks the season. The Huskers came out strong before devolving back to what was on the field for the first three quarters against Miami last week. Like the Millennium Falcon, the Big Red somehow found a way to hold together and get the win.

On with the hot takes.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch: A win is a win but the way Southern Miss kept it interesting until the last damn second means Mike’s balloon holds steady for another week at partially deflated.

MikeRiley Sad Balloon

Offense: It’s getting closer to having an identity even if that identity could best be described as make some spectacular plays to get to the red zone only to kick a field goal after stalling out. One of these days it will click more than it sputters and it will be a lot of fun to watch.

Defense: Hey…  the Bankshirts™ got the sack when it mattered the absolute most and spared us the drama of finding out if the Huskers figured out how to stop the Hail Mary. That secondary tho… lawn chairs randomly placed around the field could do a better job of defending the pass.

Andy JanovichCareer stats entering today’s game: 3 rushes for 6 yards, 3 receptions for 29 yards. Against Southern Miss: 5 rushes for 68 yards, 1 reception for 53. It’s a bummer that he’s already a senior but maybe it’s a good thing that Dirk’s days of being able to make analogies that even we think are bat shit crazy are already numbered.

Alex LewisThe officials called his number only once today. Good job, buddy!

The Big Red Cobcast: The only best part about sparsely attended 9am games is that they give you a chance to easily shoot the breeze with your fellow members of Husker Nation since there isn’t a packed room of fans shouting over each other. The vibe of a morning game is almost like a Husker Study Hall where the cool teacher lets you talk as long as you don’t get too rowdy. For Southern Miss, that meant 3 quarters of cracking jokes with Pat and Ryan from the Big Red Cobcast and 1 quarter yelling at the nearest TV. If you don’t already subscribe, the Cobcast is a must listen for any Husker fan.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

45-7: Our overly bold score prediction. In our defense, we were on pace to be close until Southern Miss realized the Huskers have no pass defense.

65.7: Tommy Armstrong’s completion percentage (23/35). The drops that plagued Husker receivers last week against Miami were mostly gone but Cethan Carter seemed to be running the wrong way every time the ball was thrown to his ZIP code. (Even Brandon Cavanaugh agrees so we must be onto something.)

23: Our good buddy Brent called the over/under on attendees to our watch site at 22.5. At kickoff there were 29 die hard Husker fans who rallied for the 9am start time thanks to a group visiting from Columbus. (Kudos to them for packing Husker gear.) When they bolted at halftime, that left exactly 23 of us to sweat it out to the final second.

12: The Huskers had 12 penalties totaling 98 free yards but none were for having 12 men on the field which is a pleasant surprise. The season total for that bonehead move remains at three.

6: The number of miles Bo Pelini will be from the Nebraska border next Saturday when his Youngstown State Penguins travel to the land of great faces and great places to take on the University of South Dakota Coyotes, a team he faced in Lincoln just two years ago. Maybe you remember it the day Tommy Armstrong made his first career start in place of a hobbled T-Magic?

2-2 Along with the Huskers, these other brand name teams are also sitting at a double deuce: Oregon, Oregon State, Auburn, Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech, BYU, South Carolina, Tennessee, Washington.

1: The number of times this season the Huskers have had a 100 yard rusher. Seriously. We even looked it up.  Terrell Newby’s  198 yard day against South Alabama is the only time this season a Husker has rushed for over 100 yards. That day seven different Huskers toted the rock for 258 yards. Against Southern Miss the Big Red racked up 242 yards split between eight different ball carriers with Newby leading the way with 76. It’s great that Langsdorf is spreading the wealth but one of these days a hoss running back needs to emerge from the pack.

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You Guys… The Huskers Won’t Lose To Southern Miss

It is 11:15pm out here on the Best Coast which means the Huskers will be kicking off against Southern Miss in a mere nine hours and forty five minutes.

(I think that’s right.)

Between going to four Dodger games, re-watching the Miami game right up until the ol’ DVR stopped recording after Brandon Reilly made his clutch, cage rattling catch on the Huskers’ final drive in regulation, and kicking back with a mini-marathon of three CHiPs episodes, it’s been a busy week for this guy.

Which means on a Friday night, I’m in full relax mode getting ready for tomorrow’s tussle with Southern Miss.

After all, it’s the first game of the season for real Husker fans. Think those fair weather Susies who spent their week complaining about the Huskers and the Husker who complained about them are looking forward to watching a game at the break of dawn? They sure don’t.

Tomorrow is when real Husker fans finally get the chance to spread their wings and get a little elbow room.

The Ice Man to my Maverick at our CAL4NE watch site has put the over/under at 22.5 in attendance which would be well under a quarter of the fans who came out of the woodwork for BYU.

It’s even going to be too early to get one of the costumed kooks of Hollywood Blvd to model our prediction so our mini Memorial Stadium is pinch hitting to display our bold prognostication of a 45 – 7 Husker victory.

Huskers Southern Miss Score Prediction

Here’s the deal: Even though the football gods have been treating the Huskers about as well as Jared from Subway on his first day in prison, the Huskers are still the Huskers and one of these weeks Mike Riley and his crew will figure it all out and the Big Red Machine will finally fire on all cylinders once again.

And it just so happens that Southern Miss will be playing the role of fresh meat for the new and suddenly improved Huskers. Like, for real, Mark Banker is going to figure out how to stop a deep crossing route.

It’s nothing personal, Southern Miss. It’s just time for the Huskers to get back to snapping necks and letting visiting teams cash the big checks.

#SMTTT = Southern Miss To The Top

I scrolled through several hours worth of Southern Miss related tweets and these two contained the most smack talk. Do their fans even know they have a game tomorrow? 

THREE RANDOM THINGS

1) If you haven’t read it yet, the new Tunnel Walk of Shame is a great trip down memory lane of the most magical era in Husker history.

2) Best outlook of the week award goes to Rex Salmon, one of the organizers of the San Diegans for Nebraska group.

Huskers’ Game 4 with Southern Miss could be, may be
almost be, or will be Nebraska’s 2nd WIN.

Depending upon your amount of faith, pick and stick with it.

If you ever get the chance, watch a game with the San Diegans for Nebraska down at the Black Angus. They are an impressive group both in size and spirit and every week you’ll get a great email from Big Rexx breaking down the next opponent on the Huskers’ hit list.

3) Who aside from our good buddy Dirk and Tiff the breakfast supervisor knew that Coach Riley was STILL living at the Embassy Suites?

It’s nice to see our speculation of Riley’s love of omelets was true but man, let’s hope he all moved in to his new pad since anyone who read that story (including those enraged Husker fans who somehow have the ability to read) suddenly know his schedule down to the minute.

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Your Nebraska vs Miami Pep Talk

This year’s edition of the Nebraska vs Miami really seems to have lost its luster, hasn’t it?

There’s been nary a bit of smack talk out of Florida, unless you want to count CaneShades‘ meltdown as smack talk.

Heck, not even Miami’s players have done anything to warrant bulletin board material. Remember last year when they stooped to harassing Jordan Westerkamp over Instagram?

I’ll be the first to admit this year’s match up of two historic rivals has as much hype as a 38 Special and REO Speedwagon double bill on a Thursday night at the Hall County Fair.

But you know what?

I woke up this morning and realized that IT’S FLIPPING GAME DAY AGAINST MIAMI!!!

Who cares if one team is rebuilding and the other is treading water in the deep end of the ACC?

IT’S NEBRASKA VS MIAMI!!!

As soon as the game kicks off, nobody watching is going to care that it’s being played at mid-day instead of under the prime time lights.

This is Miami’s chance for some Husker get back and it’s the Huskers chance to show they’re heading back in the right direction where they belong in the top 25.

Look, the BYU game was an aberration. At this point just consider it a glorified dress rehearsal where, despite all the hiccups, the Huskers came up one second short.

South Alabama gave a us a glimpse of what Mike Riley’s Huskers just might be capable of.

Now they’re in Miami with a mostly full squad (can’t wait to see you back DPE and Beastmasterit’s time for Mike Riley to show the world that he and his Huskers mean business.

It’s time for Tommy to be turned loose like Tommie.

It’s time for the Fullback Trap to make a comeback.

In other words, IT’S TIME TO KICK SOME HURRICANE ASS.


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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: South Alabama Edition

So that’s what a Mike Riley rushing attack looks like, eh? The Huskers racked up 258 yards on ground en route to rolling South Alabama 48 – 9 and we rounded up some hot takes.

Let’s get to ’em.

Our prediction:

Hey, we weren’t too far off…

THIS WAS THE PERFECT REBOUND GAME: The Huskers came out playing good ol’ smashmouth football. It was a glorious sight to see that had to have the blue hairs peeling off their oxygen masks to breathe a collective sigh of relief. The loss against BYU seemed to stick in the Huskers’ craw and as long is they didn’t vent all their frustrations on South Alabama, they should be in a good spot for next week’s dance with the Miami Hurricanes. They’ve proved they can run with a solid team out of the gate in BYU, they’ve been punched in the mouth (thanks, BYU) and now, most of the kinks have been ironed out on both sides of the ball. We should get our first real glimpse of this team’s potential next week.

MIKE RILEY: Did you see him sharing a laugh with an official? The fact that he was wearing a grey hoodie and khakis made the scene even more surreal. Could that have been next level trolling?

TOMMY ARMSTRONG:

Another week, another killer block by Nebraska’s QB. Tommy went 21 for 30 (67%) for 270 yards and a pair of touchdowns. To the best of my recollection, he only threw one WTF pass, an absolute slingshot that missed its wide open target by a good ten yards. Tommy only rushed twice for a grand total of four yards. His lack of rushing was probably an intentional plan to keep him safe but his wheels could be a difference maker next Saturday.

TERRELL NEWBY: More like Terrell Salty Veteran, am I right? 28 carries, 198 yards, 3 TDs. Not too shabby of a way to finally get that long awaited breakout game for the junior from Los Angeles. After the first two games of the season, Newby stands at 231 yards rushing. His freshman and sophomore seasons were virtually identical with him rushing for 298 and 297 yards respectively. Will one semi-redonkulous game be enough of a swagger boost before heading down to Miami?

JAMAL TURNER: After his incomplete pass, he didn’t make an appearance until it was the Fyfe Show. Is the ninth year senior sliding down the depth chart?

30/32: The Huskers’ longest passing and rushing plays on the night. While a slight bump up  from last week, the offense isn’t exactly becoming The Langsdorf Explosion.

THE BLACKSHIRTS: Nate Gerry stretched his interception streak to two games. There were a couple sacks, a beastly forced fumble when South Alabama was backed up against their own end zone, and defense came up Millhouse when South Alabama kept going for it on fourth down. Now, if only they could only work on that whole getting-torched-on-the-deep-ball thing. That could pose trouble next week against Miami. That fool at they have a QB can chuck it, remember?

ROOT FOR BYU: Tanner Mangum pulled ANOTHER miracle out of his behind against Boise State, chuckling a wobbly duck for a touchdown on fourth and long with under a minute to play and down three. The Cougars then iced the game with a pick six on Boise State’s first play on the ensuing drive to put the final score at 35 – 24. The Coug’s next two games are on the road against UCLA and Michigan. If they keep running the table, it will make the Huskers’ loss look (and maybe feel) a little less worse.

EX-BOFRIEND UPDATE: Like Mike, Bo notched his first win tonight in an overtime victory against Robert Morris. You’d think the Penguins could have won in regulation considering they were playing against one lone dude. Hope Mr. Morris recovers quickly.

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View from the Boneyard: BYU

I’m always so amazed how waking up on a Husker game day at 8am is almost effortless, especially considering how difficult it is for me to roll out of bed to get to my 12:30 classes half of the time.

Our casual group of five arrived at the stadium just before 11am (after eating copious amounts of french toast made by yours truly), but five soon grew to over 15 as we realized how many seats we needed to save in the front of East Stadium.

After so many years of going to the games early, you start to recognize the reoccurring people who arrive hours before kickoff. Walking up to East Stadium, you’re greeted by students in fun costumes, students playing catch with a football, and The Iron N’s football sport directors telling you to “do the Westerstache.”

westerstache
The Iron N football sport directors (minus Allison Redwine) telling fans to “do the Westerstache.”

Hours of waiting outside of the doors in the unbearable heat were made easier thanks to Zesto’s bringing ice cream for everyone. Seriously—you’re the real MVP.

The cries of “3, 2, 1” echoed outside as students in South Stadium got ready to “walk” up the ramps to their seats. Ever since my freshman year, students have been threatened by security to walk—not run—to their section since students kept running into the large concrete pillars in the past. Personally, I say let natural selection take its course, but that’s just me.

eaststadium
Not even Abraham Lincoln could persuade the powers that be to open the East Stadium doors just a little early. 

There are few things on game day more frustrating than waiting to be let in to East Stadium after South has already been let in, especially since watching the chaos of getting to the front row is one of my favorite parts of game day.

It’s a lot like watching the Hunger Games, honestly. Every man (or woman) for themselves as people push, yell, and weave through other students in the bloodbath to get down to the front rows. May the odds be ever in your favor.

This year was the first year that I hadn’t been worried about getting to our spot in time. It’s kind of comforting knowing that roughly 15 people waiting in line with you are all trying to save spots for the same group.

Hayley Archer Boneyard
Front row seats secured!

The Boneyard was entertained before the game by its new official DJ Phipp Phippa, who was able to get students to go down to the field to dance, as well as get everyone involved in some new Husker chants.

Despite having the DJ, two and a half hours of waiting inside of the stadium can start to drag on. Students passed the time by meeting new students, reuniting with old friends, and even getting Sam Foltz’s attention with a “Foltz 4 Heisman” poster.

The real excitement kicked in once the pregame festivities began. This year was the first year that I was actually a part of the Go Big Red banner in East Stadium. No one warned me how easy it is to get completely engulfed in it as it comes back down, though. Rookie mistake.

tifoStudents in South Stadium bring the Boneyard tifo to life.

Everyone in the section seemed to be showing off the goosebumps as the Tunnel Walk happened, and I stood there shaking like one of those little lap dogs that had just been asked if they wanted to go for a walk.

BYU’s team ran out on the field and was soon greeted by a chorus of boo’s from the South Stadium students. East Stadium was quick to call out the freshmen and sophomores on their etiquette, though. If we’re going to take Minnesota’s motto and make it our own by saying “Nebraska nice,” we better live up to that. Granted, I went the entire week saying “more like BY-Eww am I right?” but I’m pretty sure the only offensive part of that statement is how horribly stupid it is. Much like most of my jokes.

BYUfield
After months of waiting, the Huskers are moments away from return to action.

Can You Feel It blasted through the stadium as The Iron N’s newest project was displayed. I can say from experience that a lot of hard work was put in to that project, especially after spending countless hours painting and trying to tell as many people there about this exact article that I’m writing. So yeah, hey guys. (I told them I’d give them a shout out to get them to read this.) (Editor’s note: This is a brilliant move, always.)

The game began and everything seemed right again in Husker Nation. Shoes were raised during the kick off and I managed to only almost fall off of the bench while dancing twice, so there was definitely progress from previous years. Seriously, those benches are narrow.

It was weird though to be at my first Husker game without my partner-in-crime, my former roommate and now Husker marketing intern best friend. Thankfully that void was filled during the second quarter when she was finally done working.

With the first touchdown of the season scored by Westerkamp (#DoTheWesterstache),  everyone was relieved to finally be able to release their red balloons into the sky without having to worry about accidentally releasing it prematurely and facing the judgement of their peers.
Memorial Stadium Balloons
Balloons were let loose following Jordan Westerkamp’s jaw dropping touchdown catch. What a way to start the season.

There seemed to be a serious disinterest from many fans during the second quarter, in which the Huskers were unable to put any points on the board while BYU got two touchdowns and a field goal.

The attitude changed with an injury to Sam Foltz, causing fans to jump out of their seats screaming at officials. With that occurring during the only time that I had left the student section, I realized that I had probably jinxed everything and that I should never leave the Boneyard during a game again.

The new energy seemed to fuel the Huskers as they kept BYU scoreless in the third, especially after an interception by Nate Gerry. Some of the energy was lost in transition to the fourth quarter, where most people blamed the oddly quiet pump up music being played over the sound system.

Honestly, I was thinking about how the Huskers had the game in the bag during last few minutes of play. But when 15 seconds started ticking down, you could see the looks of fear in Husker fans as the clock stopped with one second remaining. The dreaded one second.

Soon after students were greeted by a celebrating BYU coach making his victory lap around the field. No one left the section for multiple minutes after the end of the game from pure shock. I guess this is how Northwestern felt not too long ago.

In my opinion, we probably jinxed ourselves by not keeping up with the greatest Husker tradition of all time: Valentino’s Slice of Life. But that’s just me.

But as the random passerby said after the game, “if we can make it through Callahan, we can make it through anything.”

Hayley Archer is a senior Broadcasting major at UNL. Follow her on Twitter at @Harchinator.

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Sunday Morning Hot Takes: BYU Edition

Welcome to our first edition of Sunday Morning Hot Takes where we’ll be delivering a fresh, steaming pile of hot takes following every Husker game.

So… how ’bout that BYU game?

If you’re reading this, congratulations on making it through the night to see another sunrise. I haven’t yet ventured outside but I’ll go out on a limb and say that the sun has kept its 4.5 billion year streak of being where it’s supposed to be going for a least one more day.

Granted, that final second of regulation ended with as much shock and horror as seeing an animal shelter get napalmed but we can get through this Husker Nation.

It’s a long season. There will be peaks. There will valleys. And there’s a pretty damn good chance that 90,000 fans will not get their hearts ripped out on the final play of a game at Memorial Stadium for a long, long time. (Or at least a few weeks.)

Mola Ram BYU
Who knew Mola Ram was a BYU fan?

Before we dive into the hot takes, we must first drop the worst humble brag ever. In our interview with former BYU linebacker Austen Jorgensen, there was a little nugget where he absolutely nailed the outcome of the game.

Austen Jorgensen Prediction

ON WITH THE HOT TAKES!

Mike Riley: Two things are clearly apparent: 1) He does not rattle under pressure and he certainly had his fair share on Saturday. One can only imagine he keeps a screaming chamber in his basement.

MeditationChamber-ESB
A visualization of Mike Riley’s top secret screaming chamber.

2) Even at 62-years-old, his heart his clearly in tip top shape. Yes, he slumped over when the refs signaled touchdown but he walked off the field under his own power. Even as cold blooded as he is, Bill Snyder would not have survived that ending.

Coach Riley’s calmness must be contagious because it even carried over to Husker Twitter. These tweets were from when things weren’t exactly going right.

Behold the calmness and rational thoughts!

Tommy Armstrong: Holy crap did he look sharp. Yes, he had a few low points (and one crazy pass that gave Husker Nation a T-Magic flashback) but overall he clearly bought into what Danny Langsdorf is selling. Our DVR mercifully stopped recording with 8 minutes left in the fourth quarter but his pass to Brandon Reilly the final time the Huskers had the ball was a sight to behold and his best pass of the game. He put the ball exactly where it needed to go. Tommy just needs to remember he has a pretty fast set of wheels underneath him and be a little quicker when it comes to deciding to tuck the ball and run.

Danny Langsdorf: Hey man, the Huskers are kind of known for running the ball. Maybe you could add some more of those plays next week? And that number 32, he’s kind of a beast. Maybe call his number a few more times. Oh, but it was really cool when you mixed up some of the old stuff following Nate Gerry’s interception. Do more of that and Husker fans will love you long time.

Jordan Westerkamp:  Another season opener. Another jaw dropping catch. Say what you will about Adidas, but they at least know how to make a jersey that stays in one piece.

Jordan Westerkamp Catch
The Huskers got their first points on this season on this nice little stretch play. Please, tip your server.

Mark Banker’s Defense: Every time I started writing a stupid tweet (note to self: you can save drafts) that said Mark Banker was an anagram for Kevin Cosgrove, the Blackshirts adjusted and got a stop. They’ll figure out how to stop a Hail Mary eventually. 

Sam Foltz: Best wishes to Thunder Leg for speedy recovery. It was really great to see the Huskers pay tribute to him by not punting and scoring a bunch of points instead for a while there in the second half but how about Tyson Broekemeier stepping up huge when the Huskers truly needed to punt?

Tanner Mangum Granted, he’s a freshman who graduated high school in 2012 but he’s still a freshman playing in his very first game. On the road. At Nebraska. And he walked off Tom Osborne field swinging the biggest pair of stones of the day. Hopefully the BYU equipment team will get him a helmet that fits now that he’s officially a legendary quarterback and switch the letters on his jersey so that his last name magically becomes Magnum. If you’re gonna have eyebrows that look like a pair of Tom Selleck mustaches you might as well play the part. Plus, how sweet would it be if he took the field to the theme from Magnum?

TANNER MAGNUM
Tanner Mangum is 6’3″ but stands 5’3” with the over-sized helmet.

KEEPING IT CLASSY: Thanks to our handy guide to drinkin’ in Lincoln for BYU fans blowing up on BYU Twitter earlier this week, we sort of became unofficial ambassadors of Husker Nation. We’re thrilled to see that Husker fans were living up to their reputation. Good job, everyone.

BYU TWEETS

FINAL NUMBERS:

17: The number of are you still alive? text messages I received from various family and friends in the minutes and hours that followed the game.

6: Points left off the board by missed field goals. Drew Brown will get it back on track. Maybe it’s not too late to get Alex Henery on-board as a volunteer coach?

0: Number of concerned texts I received from my otherwise lovely wife. When I told her about the heartbreaking outcome, she chuckled before saying, “Wait, I thought they always played a high school team so would always won their first game? Did they lose to a high school team?”  She grew up an LSU fan, btw.

38 – 24: Our score prediction as modeled by one of Hollywood Blvd’s Spider-Men. With the Blackshirts holding and the offense rolling, this prediction was lining up to come true.

Spider-man Hollywood Blvd

STUFF THAT’S NEITHER A NUMBER OR A HOT TAKE:

Unsung Hero of the Day: My KMASHI battery. While it may not be as sleek and slender as a ridiculously overpriced Mophie, it’s built like an offensive lineman and will take your mobile device from zero back up to full power many times over on a single charge. I can’t remember the last I even charged the thing but even with one bar it charged my phone twice yesterday. Plus, it has 2 USB ports so you can help out a friend in need. Best $13.99 you can spend.

Hilarious Twitter account you need to follow (especially if you’re also a soccer fan): Throwball for Brits.

Finally, the award for Most Click-Baity Headline of the Day goes to the otherwise rock solid Hail Varsity crew.

The “featured” tweets belong to Faux Pelini, the Huskers, Hunter Radenslaben, Sam McKewon, the Huskers, Dewayne Wade, Tim Miles, Todd McShane, and Ron Kellogg.

I’m sure they’re all thrilled and flattered to see their tweets in virtual print. Next time, try to feature more people like Hunter. Might help your engagement.

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Nick Allen’s Reasons to Be Optimistic About the Huskers

The first game of the Huskers’ season is always a special time full of optimism and hope right up until the moment the first pigskin is launched from the tee into the heavens.

To help ward off any dread that may be sinking in as the hours and minutes tick towards the Huskers’ date with destiny against BYU, we’ve enlisted the assistance of Omaha-based stand up comic Nick Allen. Maybe you saw him on NBC’s Last Comic Standing this summer?

And that accolade (no matter how brief) puts Nick squarely in the position of being the funniest white guy comic living in Nebraska not named Larry the Cable Guy. You can catch Nick in action on September 10th when he headlines the Comedy Underground show at Brewsky’s in Lincoln’s Haymarket.

Take it away Nick…

Guess who’s undefeated baby? The Huskers. Just like they’re supposed to be. New season, new coach, new, new PA announcer. Cue up the Alan Parsons Project. Let’s do this shit.

1) THE BLACKSHIRTS ARE BACK
Right away. Like they should be. Lead by spirit animal Jack Gangwish and a beastly defensive line, NU’s storied defense enters the season with an attitude and intensity backed by decades of tradition.

2) THE PIPELINE
Another backbone of Nebraska tradition is set to rise again. Milt Tenopir has been a regular at practice. Alex Lewis is a bad ass (‘with record’). All championship teams have rap sheets. A pancake breakfast all season long.

3) THE COACHING STAFF
A Head coach with championship pedigree.

mike-riley-bombers-cp-1988
TWO Grey Cups.

Plus, the Huskers now have an actual QB coach (who knows how to properly hold a football).

Tim Beck
Have fun with this guy, Urban.

Eli Manning Danny LangsdorfEli will retire with more rings than Peyton. Just like God intended.

4) STRENGTH COACH MARK PHILIPP

Mark Phillpp
Spontaneous bare-foot deadlift of 400lbs.

5) KEITH WIDEOUTS WILLIAMS

He could suit up if he had to AND he’s not a golf coach!

6) THE GUYS ON THE FIELD

Tommy Armstrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWZzoJJMObM

STUD. End. Of. Story. He’s carried himself like a championship QB since his first snap. This year the big wins follow.

Jordan Westerkamp

Total magician. Usually I despise dudes with novelty mustaches but he gets a pass on that.

Vincent Valentine and Maliek Collins

Collins and Valentine
Wrecking balls.

DPE

DPE
He’s not out the whole season.

Sam Foltz

Thunder Leg
Even though he’s a punter, he could probably beat your ass.

7) EASE OF SCHEDULE
No self-respecting football program should ever be intimidated by the Big Ten West.

8) THE JET SWEEP
If you run it, you should  FINALLY be able to stop it.

9) TOM OSBORNE

Tom Osborne
I was on the same flight as him this spring. That has to mean something, right?

10) UP AND COMERS
According to the coaching staff, a lot of guys are ‘on the come.’ Not sure exactly what that means but it sounds like they’re either on they’re way up or involved in a ‘sticky’ hazing situation. Hopefully they’re rising stars.

11) WHY NOT?
Hey, the Huskers could be pretty good and somebody has to win these games. The past few years they’ve been close. Really close. Shit just fell apart in big games. Sometimes in spectacular fashion but they were ahead in most of those games to begin with. They usually lost one you would have thought they would win too. But they’re close. Plus they’re due. Either way, enjoy it and don’t get too caught up in it.

And if you find yourself screaming at a kid you’d go to jail for buying a beer for– don’t.

GO BIG RED!

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Holiday Bowl Recap: The Pelini Era Goes Down To The Wire

It was only fitting that the seven years of the Bo Pelini era at Nebraska remained a thrill ride down to the last damn second.

In a Holiday Bowl match up against USC that very few pundits gave the Huskers any chance of winning, the Big Red showed up ready to play and ready to honor their departed and beloved coach.

There would be no Hail Mary magic this time around but the stage was set for amazing irony when Holiday Bowl officials put a final second back on the clock after a review proved Kenny Bell scrambled out of bounds with a tick to spare on the penultimate play.

While the record books will say the Huskers came up three points short, those guys played their hearts out and Pelini’s remaining staff proved their mettle on the sidelines. Every single one of them gave a reason for Husker Nation to stay proud.

Nebraska USC Stat Line
Nebraska handled USC except for where it mattered the most.

The result of their efforts was arguably the most Pelini like game of the past seven years and it was the only one that had Bo watching from parts unknown.

Explosive plays, mind boggling miscues, clutch defensive stops, a momentary sideline meltdown thanks to Coach Kaz, and a never say die attitude- all the signature elements of a Pelini lead team were present and accounted for.

Kenny Bell Touchdown
Kenny Bell added one more touchdown reception to his record-setting Husker career.

Three out of the Huskers’ four losses this season ended with Nebraska still in position to win at the very end. While the near-miss 19 point 4th quarter rally against Michigan State will be hard to ever top, Nebraska didn’t flinch when down 45 – 27 with 2:24 left to play in the 3rd quarter.

Instead, the Red Storm responded with a big score of their own, a 65 yard #TommyBomb to Jordan Westerkamp barely a minute later. Offensive Coordinator Tim Beck never strayed from his playbook or his quarterback.

Tommy Armstrong vs Cody KesslerThanks unwavering confidence and the stone hands of the USC secondary, Tommy Armstrong ended the night with a better stat line than Cody Kessler. As Mike Purrriley pointed out, the Blackshirts held a 70% career passer to under 60%.

As the game transitioned from shoot out to  heavyweight slug fest in the 4th quarter, we did our best to just sit back and enjoy the final twists and turns of the Pelini roller coaster. The Huskers had nothing and everything at stake in their final 15 minutes of their season and, for some, their careers at Nebraska. Playing for just for the sake of playing is when any sport is at its most pure.

While the 4th and 3 that came up short and effectively ended the Huskers’ chances at winning will go down as one final boneheaded move by Tim Beck in the eyes of many arm chair coordinators, we have to say the call was sound, if not for the logic but for the symbolism.

With USC no doubt keying in on Abdullah (save for that defender locked in on DPE like a heat seeking missile), giving the ball to anyone but Ameer wasn’t bad entirely bad thinking. Instead of being furious that Ameer was lead blocker on the play, think of it as a Husker legend paving the way for a future Husker legend.

And if it makes you feel any better, USC did the same thing in the 2006 BCS Championship against Texas. Facing a critical 4th and 2 with 1:49 remaining, temporary Heisman winner Reggie Bush stood on the sidelines as LenDale White (who fumbled on the previous play) was stuffed by the Longhorn defense.

The Huskers may have closed out the Pelini era with a loss but the future is bright.

Just wait ’til next year.

Go Big Red.

NOTES:

Like everyone else, we were pretty far off base with our prediction.

“Honestly, this game could go either way with a blowout for either team being the most likely outcome. It’s hard to imagine the Holiday Bowl going down to the wire so we’re gonna stick with our way early prediction of a 38 – 17 Husker victory.

We are so dumb.

Apparently Mike Riley left after the third quarter with a tuckered out grandson on his shoulder. Even by flaky Dodger fan standards, that’s leaving awfully early.

Someone please tell him that in Nebraska it’s still socially acceptable to leave your grandchild locked in the car as long as you leave the radio on and crack the window.

If the 2 point conversion to Kenny Bell looked familiar, it’s because you saw Nebraska win at Michigan State in 2012 with the exact same play.

Finally, does anyone know this guy?

Drunk Nebraska Fan

Kudos to him for keeping it classy and making sure Nebraska stays relevant to Deadspin now that Pelini is gone.

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23 Reasons For Husker Fans To Be Thankful

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, let’s take a timeout from this year’s edition of Husker Turmoil and rundown a few reasons why Husker fans should be thankful, even though another stupid season has gone the tubes.

In no particular order (other than the order in which we thought of them) –

1. The Mighty Runza.

runza
It’s a big, beefy Twinkie that confuses and sometimes disgusts those unlucky souls not from Nebraska.

On a totally unrelated note, do you realize people from Ohio eat this slop by the shovel-load and they like it?

cinn-chili-and-tom-cohl-salad-dressing-034
Cincinnati Chili

2. Taco John’s Six Pack and a Pound.

Taco John's Six Pack and a Pound

(I nearly had a heart attack just learning that my daily lunch in high school packs 5,400 calories.)

3. Der Viener Schlinger

Der Viener Schlinger

True story: This thing was supposed to be called the Dog-in-ator but the whole idea of putting the name up to a fan vote backfired when Der Viener Schlinger was the overwhelming favorite.

Is it obvious that we haven’t had lunch yet?

4. Our coach (for now) may have had to issue an apology for justly speaking his mind about fair weathered boo birds during a private conversation but at least he’s never had to give a press conference (made extra awkward by a mangled face and neck brace) explaining why he was out for a motorcycle ride with a perky young intern who was his payroll.

Way to never officially get caught while at Nebraska, Uncle Carl!

120406_bobby_petrino_neck_brace.nbcsports-story-612

5. Taylor Martinez.

When a few years go by and memories start blurring, may everyone remember him as he was against Kansas State as a freshman.

6. Shevin Wiggins‘ Foot.

That 60 – 3 run and a third national title in the 90’s all hinged on one magical foot.

7. We had a coach who could have had a fourth national title but had big enough stones to play for the win.

8. The Fullback Trap.

When a championship is on the line,  just give the ball to the kid from Small Town, Nebraska. Twice.

9. The Skinny Assassin.

10. And all the other crazy heart stopping wins in the Bo Pelini era.

Ohio State 2011

Wisconsin 2012

Michigan State 2012

Northwestern 2013

Michigan 2013

McNeese State 2014

11. The #TommyBomb

Tommy Armstrong might not complete a lot of passes but the ones that are caught can be pretty impressive.

12. This kid.

13. How ’bout that time the Huskers made Steve Spurrier sad?

14. DJ Mikey Bo’s Tunnel Walk Remix never caught on.

15. The 1995 Tunnel Walk is still a classic.

16. That time Ndamukong Suh set the tone for their relationship should he and Colt McCoy ever end up living together in a prison cell.

17. Houston Nutt never coached the Huskers.

Houston Nutt

18. That time Peyton Manning met the Blackshirts.

19. Rex Burkhead.

20. Ameer Abdullah.

21. This Husker legacy highlight real that is impossible for a fan to watch without getting a little misty-eyed and having the urge to run through a wall for the Big Red.

22. And we can’t forget about Kenny Bell.

23. Even going 8-4 is a heck of a lot better than 4-8.

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