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Meet Student Correspondent Hayley Archer

A new feature for Big Red Fury this season is the addition of Hayley Archer, a senior Broadcasting major, as our first-ever student correspondent.

Last spring I put out a call that this humble site was looking to hire a student contributor to write up game recaps based on what they experienced from their spot in the Boneyard. As a marginally responsible adult, I thought it could be a good way to pay forward some of the opportunities I received while a student at UNL and add a little flair to this joint.

I had a solid idea of who I was looking for and received several great applications from some pretty thoroughbred Husker fans. Then Hayley’s submission swooped down from the sky like a Pegasus.

I was hoping to snag a Jammal Lord-like combo of talent and enthusiasm for the Big Red and ended up with an Eric Crouch.

Seriously, she’s gonna be great. Check out our Q & A to get to know the newest member of the Big Red Fury team —

OK, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Kidding. That’s a horrible question. We’ll cut to the chase. You’re from Minnesota but you’re a die hard Husker fan, how did that happen?

Honestly, I get asked this question and I’m still not sure what the answer is. I had fallen in love with the UNL campus in the few times I had been here, so I ended up coming here for school and becoming a Husker fan all just kind of happened.

What’s been the response by your friends and family after the last couple games against Minnesota?

Well, for the first game that I was here for, we won and I didn’t hear anything from anyone except my dad who naturally just played it off like it was no big deal to him. The next year, my phone (that was about 3 years old at that point) ended up freezing from all of the notifications that I got from everyone — both football fans and non-football fans. This past game I didn’t really get the same response from the Gopher fans, mostly because I think they felt bad about what happened with my phone the year before. Minnesotans are too nice.

Hayley Archer
Student contributor Hayely Archer. Look for her reports from the Boneyard for every home game and maybe even a few away games.

Once you took the plunge into becoming a Husker fan, did you do anything to get up to speed on Husker lore such as binge watching classic highlights on YouTube?

Don’t tell my mom, but I actually accidentally missed one of my classes one day from binge watching things on YouTube. Full games, highlights, interviews, everything. I’ve been (a little) more responsible about it, but I still love learning more about the history of the Huskers.

Your first game, who did the Huskers play and what was the experience like?

My first game was quite the experience. It was the first home game my freshman year — Southern Miss in 2012. This was back when they let students get their tickets checked at both gates, and since both my friend and I had no idea where we were going, we ended up getting lost inside the stadium and sitting in the first 10 rows of East Stadium. The entire experience was chaotic trying to figure out what all was happening with the students, but it was still quite the experience. I actually didn’t find out that I was in the wrong spot until the next game when my friends brought me to South Stadium.

Favorite game day ritual?

I have a pair of game day socks that I wear (almost) every game. They’re not lucky or anything, because we’ve still lost when I wear them, but for some reason I still wear them. Except I forgot them for the B1G Championship game…. So I’ll take the blame for that one. Sorry guys.

All-time favorite game moment?

I’ve had so many but I think I’m going to have to go with the two cliches — the Hail Mary and being able to watch Jack get his touchdown at the spring game. Both still give me goosebumps every time I watch them, and I still haven’t been able to watch Jack without at least tearing up.

With the Hail Mary, were you sitting in your usual spot and what was the reaction like around you? Was that the loudest it’s ever been for you at Memorial Stadium?

For the Hail Mary I was in South Stadium since I was only a sophomore at the time. I was somewhere in the front ten rows, which was pretty typical for us. Within a few seconds after the catch, everyone else was magically in the front ten rows as well, since everyone was jumping up and down and falling and whatnot. It was pure chaos and excitement everywhere. I hugged like eight people that I had never met before. But despite the excitement from everyone, I’d still have to say the loudest that I’ve ever seen Memorial Stadium was at the 2012 game against Wisconsin. That was absolutely insane.

You’ve never missed a home game. Have you ever had to do anything crazy to keep your streak alive?

I haven’t been home for Thanksgiving in two years, now going on three. Since I have my own apartment now, my parents came down here to celebrate last year, and I’m sure they’ll probably come down this year too.

On that rare occasion when the Huskers lose, what’s your mood like following a loss?

I definitely stand out because I definitely still have my Minnesotan optimism. It’s always the “we’ll get them next time!” or “if we just work on this, we’ll be great!” Unless it’s against Wisconsin, because that one’s personal.

As an “outsider,” what’s a favorite quirk that you’ve noticed among Nebraskans both as people and as Husker fans? (My wife is from Louisiana and she laughs whenever she hears the word ‘pop’ and chanting Go Big Red, three times every time, drives her bananas.)

I haven’t really noticed too much that’s different between Nebraskans and Minnesotans, but being from Minneapolis and being around so many small-town people has been pretty interesting. Overall though, I think I stand out more to Nebraskans, because apparently I have an accent and my love for hockey is “weird.”

If you could share a Runza with any current player who would it be? (And if you say anything bad about the hallowed Runza, this conversation is over.)

Well usually my go-to answer would be Kenny Bell, but he doesn’t count anymore. I’m probably going to have to go with Sam Foltz. He seems pretty cool and we’re both Vikings fans so I’m sure we’d get along great.

If you could share a Taco John’s Six Pack and a Pound with any former player who would it be? (And if you say anything bad about John and his delicious tacos and spicy potatoes this conversation is over.)

I feel like after my last answer I have to go with Kenny Bell. He’s been my favorite player since my first game here. But I also think it’d be pretty interesting to be able to sit down and talk with Suh.

If you could travel back in time (is there still a time machine on the roof of Oldfather Hall?) and witness any moment in Husker history what would it be?

I know it’s kinda lame to choose something that I’ve already experienced, but I would give anything to be able to go back in time and relive the Wisconsin game in 2012. The atmosphere of Memorial Stadium was unreal, and there is literally nothing I love more than seeing the Badgers lose.

So… does your dislike of Wisconsin simply stem from years of Vikings/Packers games?

Growing up in Minnesota I feel like you’re taught to hate all Wisconsin teams before you’re taught to cheer for Minnesota teams. I was never a huge Gopher fan for football when I lived there, but I still loathed the Badgers. I’m just glad Nebraska finally feels the same way.

Awesome. People out here in LA don’t understand that states can have serious beefs with each other.

Especially with border battles haha.

What’s your outlook on the season? Are you expecting instant success or are you OK with a bumpy road?

I have high hopes for this season, but I am more than okay with a bumpy road. It may take a year or two for Mike Riley to really get the team that he’s envisioning, and once he gets a couple of his own recruiting classes in here , I think he’s going to do some pretty great things.

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Welcome to Nebraska, Mike Riley. Here’s a Survival Guide.

Dear Coach Riley,

Welcome to Nebraska and the Cornhuskers. After we wrapped our head around your out-of-the-blue hiring, we must say we became very interested and excited to see what you can do for the Big Red.

Moving from Oregon to Nebraska will no doubt require a bit of readjustment on your part. To help make the transition as seamless as possible, we’ve taken the liberty of writing up a handy little Nebraska Survival Guide for you.

THE NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS – Your new team is the biggest attraction in America’s 37th state by a country mile.  Note that we didn’t qualify that statement by saying “sports attraction.” To explain just how obsessed the state is with the Big Red would require 5,000 words to barely scrape the surface. You know how bananas those hippies in Portland go for cruelty-free artisan vegan cheese? Multiply that excitement by a factor of 100 and you’re getting close to how the average Nebraskan feels about the Huskers.

Be careful with the alternate uniform thing. While we think it’s a great change of pace to see a fresh look once a year, any deviation from the classic scarlet and cream will bring out the fashion critics and staunch traditionalists. Or, you could simply order adidas to stop making borderline hideous uniforms.

MEMORIAL STADIUM – Those empty seats at Reser Stadium when the Ducks were in Corvallis last week? Not going to happen at your new home. Not even Bill Callahan could stop a sellout streak that currently stands at 340 consecutive games. When it began back in 1962, the stadium’s capacity was just a little bigger than Reser Stadium at 48,000.

Now 87,000 fans pack the joint every game day. Many will stand up the whole time, except for the people on the west side of the stadium. That’s where the blue hairs (old folks) all sit. Try not to complain about them too much. They write big checks in exchange for getting to complain about all the hip hop and yell witty things such as “Sit down. We can’t see through you.” when young and rowdy fans (anyone under 75) make the mistake of sitting among the elderly.

The student section is in the south end zone. Be cool to those kids. In fact, be really nice to them. Bring them donuts before games. The seating is general admission and the most rabid fans will sleep on the sidewalk the night before games to lock down a front row seat. They’ve got a such a good thing going with the Iron N Club right now that we’re very tempted to go back to school and deal with being the creepy old guy in class just so we can take part in the fun.

And please, try not to poop your pants the first time you do the Tunnel Walk.

TOM OSBORNETOM OSBORNE 1Do whatever you have to do to get on this man’s good side. Grease him with a Cabela’s gift card if you have to. If you can get him to vouch for you, you’ll be way ahead of the game. A few years ago he ran for governor (after several terms in Congress) and Nebraskans decided to vote for the other guy in hopes that T.O. would return to the Athletic Department. He’s also on the College Football Playoff committee though the can’t “technically” try to “influence” the voting when it comes to the Huskers.

TOMMIE FRAZIER
Tommie Frazier
Yes. That really is the quarterback who lead the Huskers to glory in the mid-90’s. He is not a player’s overly enthusiastic uncle trying to pull your leg. If he ever goes on a Twitter rampage about any standards you’re not living up to, just ask him how his coaching career went.

JASON PETER
Jason Peter
This skinny guy who looks like a Limp Bizkit enthusiast anchored the Huskers’ defensive line for all three national championship seasons in the 90’s. What can we say? Heroin is a hell of a drug. But it’s not as strong as the human spirit. Jason kicked the smack and turned his life around for the better. If you know anyone struggling with addiction, we can personally attest that his book can really be an inspiration. In the photo above, he’s “throwing the bones” the universal symbol for someone-on-the-other-team-just-got-destroyed.

When BYU comes to town to kickoff next season, call a play on their first possession that results in their quarterback being decapitated. We’re not joking. Like, the guy’s head really gets separated from the rest of his body. Yes, it’s rude and may result in having to forfeit the game but if you can pull it off, Jason will gladly do your yard work for the duration of your stay in Lincoln.

NDAMUKONG SUH
SUH
If you see this man working out in your weight room, don’t you dare accuse him of sneaking in. The damn place is named after him. Maybe you remember him from his high school days in Oregon? Even if you don’t, it’s best to let Suh have whatever he wants.

JACK HOFFMAN
Jack Hoffman
If a little dude reports for spring practice with his helmet and pads, you are not being punk’d. His name is Jack. He’s part of the team and he can motor. Maybe you’ve seen his highlight reel?

LARRY THE CABLE GUY
Larry the Cable Guy
This is the Huskers’ celebrity fan base. Good luck with that. Actually, Dan (yes, that’s his real name) is a great guy and a huge supporter. Don’t know if you saw it, but he was so excited about your arrival that he was tweeting rational, complete and fully punctuated sentences.

LINCOLN –Your new home may be five times bigger than Corvallis but don’t think you can simply disappear in the big city. Every move you make will be closely monitored and reported. Did you know Jim Tressel was spotted in Lincoln by multiple sources throughout the week and he wasn’t even in town? That’s how closely fans watch things. Even when you’re in Ohio, you’re really in Lincoln.

The best part of Lincoln for a newcomer is that the streets are laid out on a grid system. Lettered streets run east – west with “O” being the dividing line between the north and south side of town. Numbered streets go north and south. As long as you don’t travel outside of the alphabet, Lincoln is the easiest city in the world to navigate. If some kids invite you to a kegger at 16th and K, those are all the coordinates you need.

THE  NEBRASKA STATE CAPITOL- You’re not imagining things. Everyone thinks it looks like a giant penis.  Some of its popular nicknames are The Penis of the Plains, The Hard-on of The Heartland, The Meat of the Midwest, The Dick of Downtown, The Cock of the Countryside, The Phallus of the Farmland, The Schlong of The City, the list goes on… Inside the Capitol is where America’s only unicameral state legislature does its work.

YIA-YIA’S – Best pizza in town. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

THE NIGHT BEFORE LOUNGE – While the downtown location is convenient, Shaker’s is worth the drive. The last time we were at The Night Before, a dancer answered a phone call from her kid while on-stage. We are not making that up.

OMAHA – About 50 miles to the east is Nebraska’s largest city. It’s a chunk smaller than Portland. The good news for you is that neither of its big colleges have football teams, unlike that Eugene place just up the road from your old stomping grounds. UNO (aka University of No Opportunity) cut its football program and Creighton only has a basketball team to boast about. You’ll find there’s a section of fans who split their loyalty between Husker football and Creighton basketball. Never listen to a single word these people say.

If you need help with your finances, find a guy named Warren who lives there. He apparently has a knack for that sort of stuff.

BEAVER CROSSING – If you ever get homesick, there’s a little slice of home about 35 miles west of Lincoln.

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THE MEDIA – As we said earlier, your new team is the state’s main event and as such it requires dozens of reporters to cover your every move. Thanks to an unquenchable thirst for Husker news, the journalism industry is staying alive and well in Nebraska. (At least when it comes to the Huskers.) All those people who were at your introductory press conference will be there every week. (Free sandwiches draw them in like moths to a flame.)

Here’s who you need to know-

TOM SHATEL
23
While he can seem easily confused by technology, Tom is still the gold standard for Husker beat writers. For the big-monied boosters out west who still prefer to read their news to be in print the day after it happens, his word is gospel. If you can refrain from ever passing the ball on second and 1, you’ll stay in his good graces for a longtime.

SAM McKEWON
SAM M
Sam is the most talented and consistently rational writer on the Husker beat. He could write for the New Yorker if he wanted to. He calls things how he sees them and his opinion doesn’t pendulum from week to week. If you want to blow his mind, talk movies with him sometime. Anything from Paul Thomas Anderson, the Coen Brothers or Richard Linklater would be a good starting point. If you lead with Lars von Trier, he might get suspicious.

STEVEN M. SIPPLE
LINCOLN, NEB. - 8/12/2011 - Steve Sipple ERIC GREGORY/Lincoln Journal Star
The guy at your press conference who looks like he slept in his car (he did and it’s a good story) goes by the nickname Sip. His office is two arm punts from yours so if you ever need to get some news out quick, hit him up. If you need to get some news out really quick, take him out a few times and he’ll give you his log in credentials so you can write what you want him to say yourself. In all seriousness, Sip really knows his stuff and is a solid reporter.

DIRK CHATELAIN
dirk
Dirk is like the old guy Kane from Poltergeist 2. He’ll show up on your porch with good intentions but is really just biding his time before he unleashes hell. If he looked tired at your press conference, it’s because he was up all night breaking down game film from your time with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to find tendencies in your coaching methods and demeanor that can be exploited at a later date. As the “Nebraska Sportswriter of the Year,” you need to show this man respect. He had to beat out 12 other writers to earn that title. To the “serious” Husker bloggers this man is Tyler Durden. They’ll parrot whatever he says and defend his honor to the death.

SEAN CALLAHAN
sean callahan
Sean is your nosy neighbor who chopped down a 50-year-old oak tree in his backyard so that it’s easier to keep tabs on you. His sources’, sources have sources, so good luck keeping anything under wraps.

FANS
Fans 1

Nebraska fans can be so nice that it’s alarming. They can also be so vindictive they’ll secretly record a private conversation and sit on it for a couple years before leaking it to Deadspin. In their eyes, there’s no such thing as running the ball too much or scoring too many points. Should your team ever make a bad play, make a good play ASAP.

If you continue to have your practices open to the public, don’t be surprised if they show up. All of them.

HUSKERMAX When doomsday preppers need a break from organizing canned goods down in their bunkers, they like to chat in the Huskermax forums. Don’t ever look inside. It can be a dark and scary place that makes moon landing conspiracy theorists seem sane and rational.

I-80 – Nebraska’s mighty interstate that cuts through the middle of the state. If you ever need to test your sanity, drive the length of it some time. Even when you’re not on drugs, crossing the same river five or six times will make you feel like you’re hallucinating.

GRAVEL ROADS – You’re traveling down one of Nebraska’s many gravel roads while on the hunt for the next great lineman and you’re about to cross paths with another vehicle, what do you do?

You lift your index finger off the steering wheel as a means of saying hello and nothing more. If you don’t lift your finger, that farmer will flip a u-turn and chase you down to find out what your problem is.

TORNADOES – If sirens start wailing like the North Koreans are attacking, seek shelter in the nearest basement. They’re easy to find. All houses in Nebraska have basements.

CORN – Can’t miss it. It’s everywhere. The scientific term for the exact amount is “Holy fucking shit, there’s a lot of corn in Nebraska.”

MOUNTAINS AND TREES – Believe it or not, virtually all five of the trees you see in Nebraska were planted by hand which lead to the birth of Arbor Day. If you want to see trees and mountains like back home, drive west on I-80 seven or eight hours. Hang a left for Colorado or continue straight for Wyoming.

SUMMER – It gets so hot you’ll want to carry a spatula so you can peel your balls from your leg.

WINTER – It gets so cold your face will hurt. Like real, genuine pain. And there won’t be a snowflake in sight. The place is like a frozen desert.

SPRING – The second Tuesday in May.

FALL – The third Sunday in October.

BOOSTER’S WIVES – Stay away from them. The same goes for your defensive coordinator, especially him. Whoever that may be. (Please, please, please say Ed Orgeron.)

RUNZA – A big, beefy Twinkie and the official sandwich of Nebraska when the McRib isn’t in season. Go for the Swiss cheese and mushroom.

POP – It’s what Nebraska folk call soda. If you ask for a soda, you’ll be accused of being a Prius driving city slicker. Oh wait.

TIM MILES
TIM MILES
If you become as popular as the basketball coach, check your finger for a ring because you probably won a championship.

Best of luck, Coach and Go Big Red!

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