Tag Archives: huskermax

Last Minute Christmas Gifts For Husker Fans

If you’re anything like us, there’s a good chance you may have awoken with a fright this morning and finally realized that Christmas is happening on Friday. As in THIS Friday.

Whether you’re shopping for your favorite Husker fan or just someone who happens to be a Husker fan that you’re obligated to purchase a gift for, any of the following ideas would most certainly be welcome additions to their haul of Christmas booty.

Herbie Husker Star Wars T-Shirt from Nebraska Red Zone

Herbie Husker Star Wars

Whew! Good thing a few peopled turned out to see The Force Awakens  so we don’t have to worry about these t-shirts being trucked off to Nicaragua like Patriots 19-0 t-shirts. Two of the greatest things ever on one t-shirt. Don’t even try to get cynical about the Disney Empire’s ever reaching tentacles about this bad boy. This shirt is  rad. For much mayhem that Chewbacca could wreak as a Blackshirt, the Stormtroopers are oh so perfect. Why? Because they’re just like Tommy. They can’t hit their targets. Hiyo! Click here to purchase the shirt and support a local Nebraska business. AND Nebraska Red Zone is offering FREE 3-day shipping on orders of $20!

Tickets to the Rimington Trophy Presentation

Rimington Trophy

It’s a gift AND a tax deduction (the ticket cost benefits the Boomer Esiason Foundation for cystic fibrosis research).  Happening January 16th, at the Rococo Theatre in downtown Lincoln, Husker legend/Burning Man enthusiast Dave Rimington will be presenting Alabama’s Ryan Kelly with the 2015 award. Lee Corso is the featured guest speaker for the evening and you can expect many more surprise guests. Get tickets here.

Tickets to Big Red of the Rockies’ 20th Anniversary Banquet

Jesse Kosch

Jesse Kosch, the greatest meteorology major/punter in Husker football history is having a bash to celebrate the 20th anniversary of his store Big Red of the Rockies, located in gorgeous Estes Park, Colorado. The shindig is happening May 7, 2016 in Estes Park and  teammates from Jesse’s 1995 squad will be in attendance. Specific details are still TBA but bookmark this page, and whip up a little certificate for your lucky recipient.

Entry into the Nebraska Classic Golf Tournament

Nebraksa Classic Golf Tournament

Even if the dreaded El Niño strikes, the soggy desert of Palm Springs has to be a more desirable location than the frozen desert that is Nebraska in February. The tournament is on Presidents’ Day 2016, aka February 15, 2016, aka the day after Valentine’s Day, meaning you could have a nice romantic Palm Springs weekend before playing golf with the people you argue with on HuskerMax. Entry info can be found here.

YOLO f#*wads T-shirt from BBB Printing

YOLO T-Shirt

So what if the Huskers went 0-3 on game days when I wore this t-shirt this season? T-Magic shined like a light that never goes out and his legend lives on in this shirt thanks to BBB Printing and Tunnel Walk of Shame.

The Art of Smart Football by Chris B. Brown

ART OF SMART FOOTBALL

In his follow up to The Essential Smart Football, author Chris B. Brown takes a deeper dive into the x’s and o’s of football as we see them today and turns gridiron calculus into a delightful and informative read that will give you a new appreciation for the game and possibly leave Husker fans a little worried. (Let’s just say he lays out very convincing arguments against quarters defense and the
West Coast Offense.)

A Membership to Huskermax
Despite the sometimes overwhelming paranoia and doom and gloom of the message board, the granddaddy of all Husker sites is still the definitive one stop shop for everything Huskers. Best part is you can “gift” a membership by signing up your buddy and if he’s the sort who’ll never change a password, you can sign-in as him months later and wreck all sorts of internet rumor havoc.

A Subscription to Hail Varsity Magazine

Johnny Stanton

Glossy, gorgeous, and great writing guaranteed to get you pumped for the Huskers’ next quarterback of the future. Subscribe here.

Husker PajamasHusker Pajamas

Help your special Husker fan lady fan dream of better days for the Big Red with these super cozy PJs from Fantatics.com. Get FREE two day shipping (aka Christmas Eve) on orders over $60 placed by 3pm ET on 12/22 with the code NUTCRACKER.  (Why no, I did not just order my brother an ugly Husker holiday sweater.)

And finally, for the Husker fan who has everything…

Margaritaville Tahiti Frozen Concoction Maker

Margaritaville Blender

Yes. It’s a blender the size of Tahiti that would require a big ass generator to be tailgate compatible but who cares? This bad mama jama can make 72 ounces of “non-alcoholic” drinks simultaneously. Hit the link above or click here to order the Starkiller Base of frozen beverage makers.

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Our Top 25 Google Search Terms

How do you Google?

Thanks to the wonderful powers of magic, it’s easy to see exactly how some of you have used the Google when it comes to finding this little corner of the Husker internet. Most searches were bland and normal, some were a little crazy, and a few are worth immortalizing.

These are the top 25 Google searches that have lead people to Big Red Fury.

25. husker fanny pack

Husker Fanny Pack
Pity the fool who got one of these for Christmas.

24. scott frost girlfriend

Don’t know who Scott is currently dating but on more than a few occasions I did witness him cruising for chicks in his Wood River letterman jacket at the Conestoga Mall way back in the day.

23. mike riley affair

Wait… what? Does Coach Riley have a secret sidepiece a la Frank Solich?

22. tim miles dumb

Tim Miles

After this week’s loss against Iowa, Coach Miles is probably more frustrated than dumb.

21. wisconsion badger racoon selfie

Have you ever seen so much confusion in only four words? There may be two Os in Goose but there’s only one O in Wisconsin. We’ll just leave it at that.

20. selfie de old yeller

Not to sound like a broken record but have you ever seen so much confusion in only four words?

19. faux pelini knock knock joke about new head coach

If you have to turn to the Google to find a knock-knock joke that was made on the Twitter, how are you able to even dress yourself in the morning? This search was so bizarre Faux had to know about it.

Faux Pelini Knock Knock Joke Twitter

18. nebraska cornhuskers suck

Hey now.

17. dirk chatelin writer omaha world herals paper

From this point forward, the World-Herald will now be referred to as the World-Herals and Dirk Chatelin is the evil twin of Dirk Chatelain.

16.  usc song girls at the holiday bowl

15. holiday bowl usc cheerleaders

14. usc song girls holiday bowl

13. holiday bowl 2014 song girls

12. song girls usc nebraska

When in doubt, boobs in sweaters get the page views. Every time. Thank you for reading this far. Song Girls are your reward.

USC SONG GIRLS

USC SONG GIRL DIVING BOARD

11. analysis of the bad news bears

Bad News Bears - Open Liquor in the Car

Uh OK. Through the lens of 2015, the original Bad News Bears is a wonderful time capsule, capturing a bygone era where causal racism, drunk driving, and beating kids in public were all socially acceptable. Its underlying theme of valuing fun over competition and doing the best you can remains true to this day.

10. forum huskermax www tunnel walk shame

After a long season, all Husker sites start looking alike.

9. gif jake cotton knocked over by jedi husker

Poor guy will never live that down.

8. which husker player recorded bo meeting

That’s a secret we’d all love to know. Maybe the Omaha World-Herals’ Dirk Chatelin will tell us some day.

7. bear riding a shark

Bear Riding a Shark

Seriously. This one warms the cockles of my heart so much.

6. mike riley gotta make dur

Mike Riley gotta make dur what? Big bucks? Playoffs? Dur-licious tacos?

5. mike riley is full of shit

I respectfully disagree. Coach Riley seems like a very nice and sincere guy.

4. is ron brown going to be able to stay coaching at ne after peleni let go

You very easily could have been reading a list of the top 25 Google searches for Ron Brown. This was by far the best.

3. does bo pelini hate dirk chatelain

Think we all know the answer to that one.

2. is bo pelini on the cusp

How little did we know.

1. peace out bitches pelini

What do you think Pelini is up to right now? Not trolling. Just curious.

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Monday Rage: Who Woke Up Still Mad About Minnesota?

Well, it’s safe to say things did not go as planned for the Huskers against the Minnesota Golden Gophers.

With the blowout loss against the Badgers still stinging, this week’s stop on the Get Pummeled by the Upper Midwest Tour was such a foregone conclusion that it really wasn’t shocking that Minnesota went home with the Bits of Broken Chair Trophy.

Pitchforks have been sharpened and the tar is starting to bubble in Lincoln. If the Huskers can’t get a win against Iowa on Friday, look for Bo Pelini and company not to be allowed to cross the border back into Nebraska.

If Pelini does go, be it by force or he decides he’s had enough of the “classiest fans in college football” and chooses to peace out, we’d just love to be there when the latest savior of Husker Nation arrives. “Quick, hide the pitchforks! The new guy is here and we gotta act nice… until he loses.”

By this point in your post-Husker loss coping cycle you’re probably in no mood to re-hash Saturday, unless of course you’re an avid contributor to the Huskermax forums where there’s no such thing as beating a dead horse too much.

Seriously, a horse could die, be cremated, have its ashes sprinkled among the seven seas and the average forum poster could find away to bring it back to life just so it could be beaten to death all over again.

So on that note, we’ll just leave you with a few observations.

This was the first text message I received on Saturday.

FullSizeRender

This is what being a Husker fan is all about. Getting up butt ass  early on a Saturday so you can meet up with your buddies for a few hours, cheer on your favorite team, and have a few laughs, no matter the outcome.

Our official Californians for Nebraska watch site that averages around 50 – 75 Husker fans (big games are often standing room only) was down to 14 for Minnesota. Yes, a 9am game on ESPN the weekend before Thanksgiving was a factor but it’s safe to say many fans have called it a season.

FullSizeRender-2Downstairs, a room full of Ohio State fans were having a great little Saturday.

A couple notes about the game-

Yes, DPE’s untimely fumbles sucked but what was he doing during Kenny Bell’s only reception of the game?

KENNYBELL
Kenny set the table for the Minnesota defender to get blocked into next week and DPE just… yells at him? WTF?

Does anybody know the condition of this gentleman? Is he OK? Did he survive the game?

Huskerfan

Compared to last week, the Monday morning mood on Twitter is not so much rage filled as it is business like. When we started writing this post this morning this is what the #Huskers chatter looked like in real-time.  Yes, we know it is now outdated thanks to the speed of Twitter but please forgive us, we had to do some urgent work regarding a little movie known as Star Wars Episode VII. (That big news that came out today? We knew all about it last week.)

So Greg, are you saying every game doesn’t matter? What if the Huskers only lost games that “didn’t” matter? Wouldn’t that suddenly make games that previously matter, matter? What if C-A-T really spelled dog?

Gotta give Jeffrey the edge over Murray on this one. Number one rule of joke writing- get to the punchline in as few words as possible.

And one bonus burn from last night…

DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE, PELINI? CELL PHONE BACKGROUNDS ARE CHANGING BECAUSE OF YOU.

(If you’re keeping score at home, the background on our phone is the pride of all Nebraska, the hallowed McRib.)

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