Tag Archives: cornhuskers

Game Day Preview: Nebraska Cornhuskers vs FAU Owls

Will the Florida Atlantic Owls deflate Little Red this afternoon?

Lil Red vs Owlsie

Who?

The FAU Owls, man. From the college in Boca Raton that’s had a football program since 2001. You know, the school that fired Carl Pelini.

Confidence: HIGH – Will be wearing red in public all day long. Not even bringing a back up shirt to our watch site!

Scouting Report: FAU goes by the Owls because the land on which FAU’s campus was built is a designated Owl sanctuary. Owls are found on every continent on Earth with the exception of Antarctica and some remote islands. As nocturnal hunters, their feathers have been adapted for silent flight. Owls use their extremely strong talons to crush the skulls of their prey.

(In the paragraph above can you tell where I fell down into the wikipedia wormhole?)

Ideal Scenario:  Little to no skull crushing at the hand talon of the mighty Owls. Offensively, the Cornhuskers show some flash en route to hanging half a hundred on the board. Botched plays and fumbles are minimized to the point where fans are convinced this team is a well-oiled machine.

On the other side of the ball, the defense holds until the reserves give up a few points in garbage time causing skeptics to start fretting about the 2015 season.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups:  7. Yes, the bar is set high for a coach supposedly mellowed in the off-season but can Bo’s meds fend off a bad penalty call? And how often will the announcers bring up the Carl Pelini connection with the intimation that Bo is out for revenge?

Where’s Carl? Watching from the roof of Oldfather Hall. Wait, is Oldfather even taller than Memorial Stadium these days?

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From Quietly Dignified Fandom to Unabashedly Sniveling Gloater, the (de)Evolution of Husker Passion.

It’s strange the way simple pleasures can evolve when following a football program like Nebraska’s. As a child of the 1980s and 1990s, I used to luxuriate in the ample amounts of respect bestowed upon my beloved Huskers — whether it was from opposing coaches and fans or sports commentators during broadcasts — their vocalized respect always made my chest swell with pride.

But the Huskers don’t get much of that lately. Back in the day, 75% of Nebraska’s slate resigned itself to losing from the get-go. Some even considered “winning” the coin-toss a nice pre-slaughter gesture. Sadly, over this last strange decade, all that veneration has disappeared into the dustbin of history. Most teams no longer expect to lose to the Big Red. Hell, I’ll bet more than a few Cowboys down at McNeese State are thinking — make ‘em turn the ball over four or five times and we’ve got a shot!

But, with the new-found bravado Husker opponents have shown in the prospects of upcoming clashes with Nebraska, a new form of satisfaction has evolved for me in watching NU play. And that’s seeing the stunned silence from opposing fans when the Huskers pull off something amazing.

It’s the same chagrin Steve Spurrier displayed during the 1996 Fiesta Bowl. A thing of beauty precisely because Spurrier was part of that rare species back in the 1990s — the opposing coach who thought he had better than even odds against the Huskers. When Spurrier’s mirage was officially bisected by a galloping Tommie Frazier, the broadcasters treated viewers to a savory display of recompense the likes of which I’ll never forget.

Phases of spurrier

For the record, I don’t have anything personally against Steve Spurrier — the magnificent chief Cock that he is. But the sight of a smug, Coors-drinking bastard getting his hat handed to him was rare during the 1990s dynasty because the low expectations many of Nebraska’s opponents held never produced much hubris. So, ironically, one of the fruits of a lowered bar for Nebraska football is that now we get to see opposing fans (with the full assumption of a win in their pockets) shit bricks more often.

Assuming that many of you readers are like me — once quiet and dignified followers of a college football titan, now sniveling jealously in the shadows of our once-great reputation, I’ve gone ahead and assembled a gallery of some of my favorite screen shots from the past few years. This is the new simple joy our program bestows us: watching opposing fans react to something they just can’t believe.

Here a Texas fan finds her asshole tighten to a million pounds per square inch at the prospect of the Longhorns losing their BCS Championship bid at the hands of what essentially turned out to be the greatest performance of Ndamukong Suh’s collegiate career.

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Oh, were it not for that horse-collar tackle!

Here Taylor Martinez has just mesmerized a cluster of incredulous K-State backers, dashing past a slew of Wildcats and beating them to the end zone by 15 yards.

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Another amazing touchdown run by Martinez forces this Washington Husky fan to cover his eyes.

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And finally, this may look like a typical, mouth-breathing Georgia good ole boy, but — in fact — this man’s jaw is hanging a little more slack than usual thanks to Tommy Armstrong’s 99 yard touchdown pass to Quincy Enunwa.

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I hope these sufficiently whet some appetites for seeing a few more stunned opponents in 2014. Personally, I hope to add some Spartans, Badgers and Hawkeyes to the gallery next time this year. Go Big Red!

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Ameer Abdullah Gets Extra Slippery With New Adidas Jersey

Over the weekend the Lincoln Journal Star let Ameer Abdullah’s slippery new secret weapon out of the bag.

Ameer Abdullah addias guacamole jersey

By all accounts Abdullah will be the first running back in college football to wear adidas’ new line of guacamole injected gear. If you thought he could slip through a hole like a greased pig before, wait till you see how he does slathered in $68 worth of guacamole upgrades at Chipotle. How adidas was able to keep such an innovative, technological achievement under wraps until a just a week before game day is some Skunk Works level secrecy.

Or, upon further review, this spy shot could have been recycled from the Gator Bowl against Georgia- a game highlighted by mud, a ridiculous 99 yard bomb, and a hard-fought Husker victory over a worthy SEC opponent or an injury riddled SEC-also-ran, depending on your world view.

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