Breaking Badgers: Your Huskers vs Wisconsin Preview

If there was ever a time for the Huskers to summon the ghosts of Big Red past and kick the ever loving shit out of a team, it is now.

Here’s the brutal truth. Five minutes after joining the Big Ten, Husker Nation got scared and has been ever since. There’s no denying it. Even in the rock bottom Bill Callahan years, Husker fans may have felt a lot of dread but they never displayed the outright fear that is so palpable today. You can feel it week in and week out in how all the beat writers craft their stories framing Nebraska as the underdog no matter the game. And you can definitely see it on full display deep in the bowels of Huskermax.

It’s time for the Huskers and their legion of fans to remember who they really are, go kick some ass, and take a few names along the way.

In the immortal words of Ric Flair, to be the man, you gotta beat the man. And this week that man is named Bucky.

This year the Freedom Trophy is at stake for the first time. Fans have been moaning about this being a thinly veiled attempt to manufacture a rivalry. The Huskers and Badgers are going to be squaring off every year for the foreseeable future so why not put a little something at stake? Nebraska fans making the road trip to Madison could do their part  to make help this a memorable rivalry if everyone by celebrated the Huskers’ victory by stealing a porch couch on the way out of town. Imagine the reaction. They beat our football team and stole our shitty couches? Oh, it is on.

Speaking of Madison, for everyone butt hurt about rude Badger fans, three words- grow a pair. My very first football game experience was walking across Nebraska’s former Third City to attend the big Barr vs Walnut showdown as an 80lb seventh grader. If my nerdy 12-year-old self could make it through the junior high version of The Warriors unscathed, there’s no reason fans can’t handle the heckles of some drunken Badgers. If you can’t think of a good comeback, keep “Go eat some cheese” in your back pocket. Yes it’s dumb and yes sounds just like the “Go eat some corn” you’ve heard a million times and that’s just why it might work.

If you’re still not sold on the rivalry here you go.

Reasons to dislike Wisconsin

1. The Badgers’ turnaround as a college football program was modeled after Nebraska. We won’t even get started on the knock off uniforms.
2. Wisconsin is the only state in the union where your first DUI is a mere traffic violation.
3. All the goddamn mosquitoes.
4. Pabst was sold to the Russians.
5. A carney once ripped me off in Wisconsin Dells.

Confidence: Confidence? I’ve been listening to The Sword in heavy rotation since Tuesday. There’s no way I’m not going to show up to our watch site and eat nachos and yell at the TV like a boss.

With regards to the Huskers, here’s hoping the bye week plunge in the College Football Playoff poll put a chip on their shoulders that will carry them through to the Big Ten Championship Game.

In other words, this needs to be Huskers’ attitude.

(Apologies for the obligatory UHF post but hey, it just came out on Blu-Ray this week!)

Scouting Report: Ooooh… Wisconsin could use a different quarterback from play to play. Big deal. That’s just another QB for Randy Gregory to torment. For him it will be 2 for 1 day at Camp Randall Stadium. Don’t be surprised to see Joel Stave and Tanner McEvoy get in a sideline slap fight over whose turn it is to go in and get creamed.

Macho Man Randy Gregory

Ooooh… Wisconsin has a Heisman contender in running back Melvin Gordon. Come at the Blackshirts, bro. He’ll be a refreshing break from having to deal with Ameer and Imani at practice.

Ooooh… Wisconsin’s offensive and defensive lines are forces to be reckoned with. Tell those thigh rubbers a Groupon for cheese curds just dropped and see how fast they find a way to waddle off the field.

Ooooh… Wisconsin has the Jet Sweep in their playbook. Um, that could pose a problem.

For a detailed breakdown of the Badgers that includes actual statistics, check out Corn Nation.

Ideal Scenario:  Somehow, someway the Huskers get the win and that way is by dominating on both sides of the ball. Over on D, Randy Gregory finally has his Ndamukong Suh Big XII Championship Game with his sacks coming after the Blackshirts shut down the Badger running game.

On the offensive side of things, the Huskers put together a mistake free game and the question about Ameer’s durability never comes up because it doesn’t have to. He runs wild and free for a couple big TD’s but otherwise doesn’t spend too many plays going between the tackles. In a flash of brilliance that impresses even his most passionate haters, Tim Beck keeps the Badger D off balance and guessing by running a lot of plays out of the seldom seen Diamond Formation. Imagine the havoc a backfield of Tommy, Imani, Ameer and De’Mornay could wreak.  Last but not least Kenny Bell finally and deservedly breaks Johnny Rodgers all-time reception record.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 7 – Not gonna lie. This game could get rough and ABC/ESPN will be all over it.

A Question That Needs an Answer: Is Ameer 100%? We. Will. Find. Out.

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