Tag Archives: ron brown

Coach Riley Holding Staff Tryouts

While Coach Mike Riley strikes us as more of a Riddler than a Joker, the idea of him strolling into the lame duck coaching staff holding pen and busting a pool cue over his knee and announcing he’s gonna have tryouts makes us giggle.

Mike Riley Joker
“Which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team?”

According to reports based off of text messages from recruits, newcomer Charlton Warren won the battle royal to stay on as part of Riley’s staff.

Will another current coach be signing on as well, possibly on the offensive side of the ball?

Easy money would say that coach would be Ron Brown but that would all depend on what Ron Brown wants to do. If Ron Brown doesn’t feel like going anywhere, Ron Brown isn’t going anywhere.

RON BROWNGood luck telling this guy to go kick rocks. 

If Coach Riley “chooses” not to retain Ron Brown, don’t be surprised if the hottest recruit for 2016 is a seemingly out-of-nowhere Ron Brownstein.

Ron Brown 2
Even at 58-years-old, Ron Brown is just a fake ID and passable ACT score from becoming a college football player all over again.

In other coaching news: If you haven’t grown tired of getting duped by Football Scoop, reports are saying interim head coach Barney Cotton and John Garrison will be landing at UNLV. If that’s the case, this might a genius trolling power move. For as much of a barren wasteland the UNLV campus is, it has the rare distinction of boasting its very own In-N-Out burger. Even the students at UCLA have to walk a few blocks off campus to get their Double Double fix. We can’t wait to see the taunting tweets Cotton and Garrison fire off in the direction of Coach Riley every day at lunchtime.

Meanwhile, John Papuchis remains locked in Bo Pelini’s basement getting the Buffalo Bill treatment.


Halloween Huskers

With the Huskers busy trying to decide if tight end is a position that  needs to be part of the Red Storm, we took the liberty of coming up with Halloween costume ideas for players and coaches.

Bo Pelini as James Bond

Bo Pelini James Bond
Pelini. Bo Pelini. Maybe it’s their similar haircut and head shape but we’ve always thought Bo could make a good Danial Craig James Bond. We sincerely believe that. This is not an attempt to try and suck up to Bo. Nope. No way.

Kenny Bell as Irwin Maurice Fletcher

Kenny Bell Fletch
Fletch was listed at 6’9″ with his afro so Kenny gives up a little height but his speed would make him a terror around the perimeter. All we ask is that he doesn’t put his Halloween bar tab on the Underhill account. It’s way too late in the season and his career for an NCAA violation.
*Random sad but true story: When I first saw Fletch as a kid, I really thought he played on the Lakers.

Ron Brown as Morpheus

Ron Brown Morpheus
“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one who must walk though it and accept Jesus in your heart.

Jordan Westerkamp as Bo “Bandit” Darville

Jordan Westerkam Burt Reynolds
Jordan already has the ‘stache. He just needs a cowboy hat and a bad ass 1977 Pontiac Trans Am.

John Papuchis as Igor

John Papuchis vs IgorLike Frankenstein’s monster, this pick is a no-brainer and one that we’ve covered before.

Randy Gregory as Charles Jefferson

Randy Gregory Jefferson
We’re gonna go out on a limb and assume that Randy has never seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High. We’ll also go out on a limb and assume that he’d enjoy going trick-or-treating as the most badass football player in movie history. The game footage between the Ridgemont Wolves and Lincoln High may be horribly dated but we’re pleased to report that the PHOEBE CATES BIKINI SCENE looks as good as ever.

Barney Cotton as Major John D. “Mac” McGillis

Barney Cotton Major Dad
As the sire of three Huskers, it’s safe to say Coach Cotton is a major dad so it’s only fitting he dress as one. Maybe once in costume, he’d get into the character and yell at himself for a while. Or has being perpetually mad at Barney stopped being a thing?

Jake Cotton as Leatherface

Jake Cotton LeatherfaceHe’s got the same vacant expression and hair. All Jake needs is to shop for a chainsaw on sites like thetoolboss.com and he’s good to go as long as he remembers that Halloween is on the 31st. Because going trick-or-treating on the 30th would be a false start.

Ameer Abdullah as Carlton Banks

Ameer Abdullah Carlton
We know Ameer’s got all the right moves on the field but can they fly in stuffy Bel-Air? How meta would it be if Ameer did his own tribute to the Carlton  on Dancing With The Stars 10 – 15 years from now?