Tag Archives: ohio

Ohio State Fans Are a Burning Couch of Humanity

Nebraska and Oklahoma’s 1971 Game of the Century was billed as the “Irresistible Force Meets the Immovable Object.”

45 short years later, you could say the Huskers’ Saturday night matchup with Ohio State could be billed as the battle of “The Classiest vs The Trashiest Fans in College Football.”

A person only has to go as far as YouTube to find exhibits A-Z why Buckeye fans are absolute trash. Simply search “Drunk Ohio State Fans” and you’ll be rewarded with a never ending stream of tear gas, shit, and vomit.

I’m not going to lie, people. It was hard work wading through the Buckeye muck to bring you the following videos.

If you only feel like wasting 2 minutes and 17 seconds of your life, make this the one video you watch. It’s a 100% sincere hype video filled with Natty Light, bouncing boobs, and swimming pool basketball (wtf?) that an Ohio State student named Mitch Hoover made as part of his application to be a Shmacked Brand Ambassador. I hope his dreams of being a sweatpants rep came true.

OK, so this one technically didn’t come up searching “Drunk Ohio State Fans” but it is one of my all-time favorite videos ever. In 2006, Carl Monday, an investigative reporter in Cleveland, caught a young Ohio State fan pleasuring himself in a public library computer lab and confronted him about it. Right when you think things couldn’t get any more awkward, the kid’s parents show up.

Drunk Ohio State fan at Buffalo Wild Wings. The genius of this one is in its simplicity.

Fights breaking out during an Ohio State/Michigan game are about as not surprising as a crotchety old-timer yelling “Run the dam ball” at Memorial Stadium. The big twist to this fight is that it features Buckeye fans fighting each other. And the body slam is LEGIT.

Two things bro: 1. Act like you’ve been there before. 2. It was the team that did it. You were at home crying on the floor.

Once you notice this passed out fan is stewing in a Lake Erie sized puddle of his own chunky vomit, this video gets gross in a hurry. Watch at your own risk.

Don’t let the humble title fool you. This six minute vignette filled with countless crushed beer cans is the Heavy Metal Parking Lot of college football tailgating videos. In 20 years historians will look at it as an anthropological masterpiece.

Did you catch the 434 minute Godfather Saga when it was on HBO GO a while back? This is like the same thing. Parts 1-6 of the great Ohio State Michigan Riot of 2002 are combined together to make one epic 9 minute video.

This one is 7 seconds of sheer brilliance.

Hey lady, you’re not really supposed to dance like nobody is watching.

This Ohio State fan really did try to steal “literally an entire cow of meat.”

No fists fly in this video but the Michigan State fan throws a mean one two punch of insults. I know we’re not supposed to use the word ‘retard’ anymore but this video makes a great case for it to be used when the time is absolutely right.

This dumb ass Ohio State fan probably could have made it across the field if he wasn’t trying to run in loafers.

This girl probably loves glow sticks.

This guy gets a shout out solely on the merit of looking like the Kylie the Possum in The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Does anyone know if this drunk girl ever stopped walking?

Last, but certainly not least, we have the most embarrassing Ohio State video of all. This is how Buckeye fans act when they beat IOWA in overtime.


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Bo Pelini Pulls a Kenny Powers, Returns Home to Youngstown

It’s official. Bo Pelini is relocating his beloved Panty Dropper from Holmes Lake to the smooth currents of the Mahoning River.

Bo Pelini Panty Dropper
Coach Pelini pauses during one last spin around Holmes Lake to contemplate where it all went wrong.

In a move that went from flatly denied rumor to stone cold reality in the span of a week, Bo Pelini has been confirmed as the next head coach of the Youngstown State Penguins.

Pelini Youngstown State
Even we could have figured out how Photoshop the N from Pelini’s hat. It might have taken a YouTube tutorial or five but we would have found a way.

If you paid at least 10 minutes worth of attention to Husker football over the past seven years, then it’s been beaten into your skull that Pelini is a native son of Youngstown, Ohio.

Since he graduated from The Ohio State University back in 1990, the population of Youngstown has plummeted by over 30,000 leaving this rust belt hamlet a battered shadow of its former self. With just over 65,000 residents today, Youngstown is little more than half the size it was when Pelini spent his summers painting houses with the Stoops brothers. And that’s a gig most likely in very low demand as Youngstown boasts a vacant housing rate over 20 times higher than the national average.

For more on the history of the Steel City, we turn to Bruce Springsteen, who, as you know, played a sold-out show at Youngstown’s Stambaugh Auditorium back in 1996.

While on the surface, it looks like Pelini decided that slumming it down in the FCS was as good a ticket as any to get the hell out of Lincoln, we’re genuinely excited for the guy, his new team, and his hometown because this whole scenario is the perfect set up for a goddamn Disney movie.

Then again, we are talking about Bo so Kenny Powers might be the better parallel.

BPKP GYM CLASS

Watch this video and think Bo Pelini every time Kenny Powers refers to himself in the third person and the move to Youngstown will all make sense.

Is Bo Pelini a champion or a has-been who was lucky to wash up back home coaching a glorified intramurals team with a guy in a sweater vest watching his every move?
Cutler and Jim Tressel
Powers had Terrance Culter as his boss. Pelini will have Jim Tressel. 

We’ll find out next September when Pelini’s Penguins head down I-76 to take on Steve Pedersen’s Pitt Panthers.

It will be a game that should have even his biggest haters pulling for him.

Best of luck, Coach Pelini. We’ll be looking forward to seeing you and the Penguins playing on the OCHO.

One final note: If you’re like us and felt compelled to shop for Youngstown State gear, you have to click View all 500+ NCAA teams on Fanatics.com.

Screen Shot 2014-12-16 at 11.21.25 PM

Then, to save you the hassle of scrolling through all 500+ teams, just go directly to the end of the list. Youngstown State is the very last team.

Fanatics 1

But as of yesterday, they’re suddenly a sentimental number two in our hearts.

 

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