Tag Archives: Lawrence Phillips

The best worst parts of Steve Pederson’s Lost in Ambition

Steve Pederson, yes, the same Steve Pederson who crashed the proud legacy of the Nebraska Cornhuskers football program into the side of the proverbial mountain, quietly released his debut novel, Lost in Ambition.

Spanning a brisk 197 pages and a stupefying 38 chapters, Lost in Ambition is a first person story of a football coach at a crossroads in both his life and career.  We’re taken on a journey from his humble beginnings as a high school football player in small town Ohio to the sideline where he’s coaching a major college football team in the National Championship game.

When a writer tries to squeeze several decades into fewer than 200 pages, the end result is that there really isn’t much room for character development, story, or any sense of nuance that makes reading a novel an enjoyable endeavor.

To put it another way, Lost in Ambition is a pile of smoldering garbage.

Somehow, someway, Steve Pederson has managed to produce an end product that is worse than the wreckage he left behind as Nebraska’s athletic director.

I’m normally not one to take a big steaming dump on someone’s art but if a person has the delusional audacity to publish a novel that would get them laughed out of a Learning Annex class AND they happen to be the guy responsible for setting the Nebraska Cornhuskers back a solid decade, then the gloves come off. Reading this turd took three hours off my life and I’m going to get every minute back.

What follows is every best worst passage from Lost in Ambition.


This is how the story begins. Captivating isn’t it?

As the clock ticks closer to kickoff, our coach isn’t worried about the big game but the drunks in the stands. But there isn’t time to dwell because we have to go on a 190 page flashback.

It doesn’t take long for the swipes at Nebraska to begin. Nine games? That’s certainly not a random number. Turns out our fictitious (and unnamed) coach was a college quarterback himself and won nine games in each of his three years at a starter. In his mind, winning nine games is the pinnacle of mediocrity.

A few pages later, our anonymous coach is back to ranting about nine games.

The first profound quote. At least we know Bill Callahan wasn’t cheating.

IS THAT AN HOMAGE TO CARL PELINI!?! Within a few confusing paragraphs, our protagonist has gone from small time graduate assistant to becoming the running backs coach at “Birmingham State.”

It’s not long before our hero discovers the seedy underworld of ‘crootin’.

This is like the whip cream bikini scene in Varsity Blues if it were reenacted by Maude and Ned Flanders. (WARNING: Wherever you are, turn up your A/C because things are going to get even steamier.)

Our second profound quote. Considering it was bad coaching by Billy C. that got Stevie P. fired so I’m not sure how this computes. At this point in the story, three seasons breeze by and our still unnamed coach takes a leap to the Power 11 Conference to become the running game coordinator at “McNally University,” located somewhere in the frozen tundra of Michigan. 

Illicit blow jobs from boosters’ wives are a McNally University specialty.

Actually, I didn’t remember, Steve. When you take a stab at writing your next novel, try to include more details that will make your characters memorable.

#SidePieceSunday is in full effect at McNally University.

Even the head coach is DTF at McNally University!

Ladies and gentlemen, the most dramatic moment in Lost in Ambition!

I think this might be another thinly veiled swipe at Nebraska.

This is the summary of McNally State’s entire regular season but a big twist is lurking in the bushes as the team heads into the Rose Bowl.

Our still unnamed coach is getting an interview to be the head coach at “Florida A&I.” We never find out what the A&I stand for.

After a clandestine first interview in an airplane hangar, our hero sneaks back to the football offices to continue prepping for the Rose Bowl and discovers his head coach is DTF anytime, anywhere.

ABC… Always Be Crootin’. That is how you win a natty.

Mansions and money. What is this? Dynasty?

It’s official! Our mystery coach is now running a program of his own.

And the first order of business is getting the local media on your side.

Vodka with cranberries? WTF? I have a feeling this reporter is a mashup of Steven M. Sipple and Lee Barfknecht.

And the second order of business is meeting your future sidepiece.

It’s about to go down! (If you haven’t noticed, Steve Pederson loves using exclamation points!)

See! He really does!

This is how long our coach with no name dwells on cheating on his wife. Why is he doing it? We never find out. He never answers his own question.

Zeke Bradshaw (one of the better character names if you can believe it) is going to be the arm that will put Florida A&I over the top!

At page 140, our big discovery is finding out that our still nameless coach is only 33-years-old.

If only Hugh Freeze could have read this book…

Zeke’s big campus visit was successful in more ways than one.

But things are rocky on the home front. Someone is one Harley ride away from ruining it all.

Uh oh. Here comes the Lawrence Phillips character to ruin a dream season.

At least some details were changed. At first, Alonzo gets kicked off the team but is hurried back onto the field after Florida A&I loses two games in a row.

But all that drama turns out to be a moot point because a few short pages later, it’s a new season and Alonzo has cleaned up his act and he and Heisman Trophy winner Zeke have led Florida A&I into the National Championship game against Stanford.

This is the most unbelievable part of the entire book.

At this point were 196 pages deep into a 197 page book. Everything has been building towards the National Championship game and these two sparse paragraphs are all we get.

Then one page later comes the most shocking twist of all in the very last sentence. Coach Tim Greene (way to steal the Mr. Big reveal from the Sex and the City series finale) is calling it a career with no remorse, except for the part where he spent the entire book telling us how remorseful he is about all the bad things he’s done as he’s worked his way up the coaching ladder.

And that, friends, is everything you didn’t want to know about Lost in Ambition.

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Field Trip: A Visit to Vintage Red Sports Gallery

With the Spring Game kicking off in less than 24 hours, it’s about time we dusted the cobwebs off this site.

Did you miss us?

When we left off,  hopes were running high that the Huskers would leave Nashville with a victory in the Music City Bowl. That didn’t exactly happen and we’ll just leave it at that.

In the meantime, the Big Red Fury World Headquarters relocated from its Hollywood adjacent location to the hills of Northeast Los Angeles, not far from the Rose Bowl. My wife and I bought a house that included a daggum fort in the backyard. And if that wasn’t enough, it came equipped with a TV, a bar, and a Kegerator.

The new Big Red Fury World Headquarters

The previous owner, a retired Naval Aviator built this fort with his bare hands and now that it was in my care, the first order of business was getting it set up as a proper Husker hangout.

Over St. Patrick’s Day weekend I was back in Lincoln for a buddy’s wedding and on a mission to bring home some Husker collectibles.

As the luck would have it, I stumbled into a Husker store in the Haymarket that was so brand new its owner was still getting settled in.

Vintage Red Sports Gallery is nestled into the ground floor in one of the Haymarket’s many new buildings and is the creation of JC Wickstrom. It’s half vintage Husker store, half Husker museum, and 100% incredible.

Wickstrom has been obsessively and methodically collecting Husker memorabilia since he was a kid and his collection in the museum section of his store rivals anything you might see in that stadium across the road. In fact, it was so impressive that I went back for a second look instead of making a pilgrimage to Memorial Stadium before heading to the airport.  On both visits, Wickstrom was available to play tour guide and his stories were as fascinating as everything he has on display.

Here are some  of the many highlights.

If you ever feel the need to chill among Husker artifacts, Vintage Red Sports Gallery is your spot.

Everywhere you look you’ll see a piece of Husker history. Wickstrom plans to use the museum space to host signings and special events during football season.

The pink #12 jersey was game worn by Bobby Reynolds. According to Wickstrom, an equipment manager kept it as a souvenir and his young son would often wear it when dad was gone. One day, the jersey picked up a little dirt during a backyard football game and the son tossed it in the wash, thinking dad would be none the wiser. Unfortunately, he didn’t account for the possibility of the red numbers bleeding onto the white of the jersey. Whoops. Also, it should be noted that I forgot to ask Wickstrom if the kid survived.

You’re going to need to stop in and ask Wickstrom about how he came into possession of the ORIGINAL Memorial Stadium horseshoe.  It was totally legal but still required years of waiting and an Ocean’s Eleven  amount of planning to pull it off.

The 1996 Fiesta Bowl case.

NBD. Just Tommie Frazier’s Fiesta Bowl cleats complete with Fiesta Bowl dirt.

Lawrence Phillips’  and Mike Minter’s Fiesta Bowl jerseys.

This case is filled with items Mike Rozier had laying around at his mom’s house. Seriously.

The Turner Gill case. Look close and you’ll see the ‘G’ doesn’t match. Back in the day players got one home jersey and one away jersey and that was it.

This glass from the 1940 Rose Bowl is the only one known to exist.

TO’s Orange Bowl headset. Frankie’s practice jersey.

Ameer Abdullah’s Holiday Bowl uniform.

Yep. Looks legit.

Speaking of bowl games, here are the  programs from every Husker bowl game.

When I asked Wickstrom if I could shoot some photos, his only stipulation was that I had to include his all-time favorite player, Derek Brown.

Vintage Red owner JC Wickstrom shows off one of his latest finds.

The retail side of Vintage Red is loaded with one-of-a-kind items.

Nobody tell Clester Johnson that Tim hocked his jersey.

My big score from Vintage Red, a section of Memorial Stadium turf.

Vintage Red Sports Gallery is located in Lincoln at 800 Q Street Suite 103. 

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Saying Goodbye to Lawrence Phillips

“In life, either you did or you didn’t.” – Lawrence Phillips

Lawrence Phillips Funeral Program

The program for Phillips’ service. You can see it in full here

The decision to attend the funeral service for Lawrence Phillips was an easy one, based in a sense of belief and obligation.

Belief in that I sincerely feel there’s a higher power at work behind the curtain those dozen or so Saturdays a year when the Huskers take the field and a million people around the world wear red and soar or languish with every snap. As someone who is not openly spiritual or religious, going to church has been relegated to weddings, funerals, and baptisms. If you know where to look, the solace, guidance, and inspiration sought within the walls of a church can be found all around you.

And the obligation was to those who wanted to attend but couldn’t. I felt it was my turn to help be the glue that sticks Husker fans together in all kinds of weather.

Honestly, the most difficult part of deciding to go was hunting down the right tie to wear. There’s no question that it had to be red but finding one in the proper shade and style turned out to be a quandary in itself. Part of Friday night was spent at Macy’s carefully examining every single red hued tie on display. In the end, a deep red one that wasn’t quite into Oklahoma territory won out over a tie in the proper shade of scarlet but had silver stripes that were definitive enough to make an impartial college football fan think Ohio State.

Thanks to the unpredictable nature of LA traffic, I allotted an hour and a half to make the 37 mile drive to the service in San Dimas, an eastern suburb just a few miles from the football field at Baldwin Park High that was the launching pad to send Phillips’ life on a much different trajectory than what anyone would ever have predicted if they had to guess his future when he was 12-years-old and living alone on the streets of South LA.

I arrived in under an hour and didn’t know what to expect. By local standards, it was a dreary winter day. The San Gabriel Mountains that would normally serve as an impressive backdrop for Christ’s Church of the Valley were muted by a cold grey sky. Snow covered peaks slicing through the low clouds were a stark contrast to the palm trees dotting the immediate landscape.

After signing the guest book, I entered the nave and found a crowd of a few dozen of his friends, family, and teammates grouped around the casket that was front and center. Those of us who didn’t fit into any of those categories gravitated towards seats a respectful distance away.

Many of the former Huskers I spotted looked like they could still challenge for the top of the depth chart today. Others had become regular guys who’d blend in with the dads at a neighborhood barbecue, their imposing statures becoming more approachable over the years but their stories would always remain more impressive than yours.

As the service drew closer to starting, the crowd steadily swelled to well over 150. At one moment the silence was broken by a small burst of hushed chatter and turning heads when Tom Osborne and George Darlington entered.

That was as grand as their arrival would get. There was no fanfare or elaborate introduction for two legendary coaches who flew in that morning to pay their final respects to one of the best players they ever coached. They selected seats directly across the aisle from me far from where any VIP section would be. One of the most significant figures in Nebraska’s entire history was now sitting less than three yards and a cloud of dust away from a rank and file member of Husker Nation.

I instantly sat up even straighter.

(And I couldn’t help but notice the silver stripes that crossed Darlington’s tie, settling that protocol question.)

Tom Osborne can have that kind of effect on a person. It’s a measure of respect on an entirely different plane than being a starstuck, adoring fan.

The last time I was in the same room as Coach was when he announced his retirement on December 10, 1997. He still looked the same. Just a little older like we all do. Even if I didn’t have a beard that was bracketed in swaths of grey, I doubt he’d recognize me as the budding sports reporter from KRNU who’d be posted up at the back of the room grazing over the spread that was a staple at his weekly press conferences.

Like the players he coached, I have always found him to be a great role model in the way he quietly persevered and carried himself in his conviction for doing what he thought was the right thing. I learned a lot from him just by covering his press conferences as a student. He will never get enough credit for his wit or his ability to effortlessly work a room.

The service was a two hour celebration and remembrance of the life that Lawrence lived as wide range of speakers took to the lectern to share their favorite memories. He packed a lot into his 40 years.

While those who are avid readers of scandalous headlines might try to argue that Lawrence failed, there is absolutely no question that he was someone who lived his life as someone who did.

A person just don’t go from being a homeless middle school dropout to earning a college scholarship en route to becoming a top ten pick in the NFL draft without overcoming very long odds.

The legacy Lawrence Phillips leaves behind will always be conflicted and complicated but if there’s one thing everyone can rally behind, it’s the idea of staying true to your friends and doing all you can to give real help to those who need it most. When others are giving up, it’s time to dig in.

Not long after the service ended, I headed back home. The familiar voice of Kent Pavelka kept me company for the ninety minute drive drive west as he called the action of a Husker basketball game. Even during this very low moment, the pulse of Husker Nation continued to beat strong.

It was such a comfort that I listened all the way through the post-game interviews.


Many of those closest to Lawrence Phillips spoke at his service and shared their favorite memories and stories. What follows are fresh insights into his life and quotes from those who spoke.


Pastor Dane Johnson, service officiant: Johnson is also a football coach and during Phillips’ time at Baldwin Park High, he was the head coach at a rival school and reminisced about the first time he coached against Phillips.

“He ran down our sidelines and one of our players got a pretty good lick on him and he ended up down at my feet. As I reached down to pick him up I said ‘Welcome to the Sierra League.’ He started laughing and smiled and chuckled his way all the way back to the huddle and another 180 yards.”


Ty Pagone, Baldwin Park High assistant principal:  Pagone was closely involved with the Baldwin Park High football program and helped Phillips through the college recruiting process, hosting visits for his top three schools (USC, Arizona State, and Nebraska) at his home.

“The quietest one was Coach Osborne. He sat there with his arms folded and Lawrence asked one question. ‘Who wears number one?’ and Coach Osborne said, ‘You will.’

Not long after meeting with Osborne, Phillips made his decision to play for Nebraska.

“I asked Lawrence, ‘What made you choose Nebraska?’

“They had the right answer. I was going to wear number one, their linemen were gigantic, I’ve never seen anything like it, and the community was certainly dedicated to football in Lincoln, Nebraska. Plus, Tom Osborne said I didn’t have to go in to beat the man which was sensible. Coach Osborne says you’ll be fighting for second team. And our second team guys usually rush for 700 yards or so if they’re any good.”


Thomas Penegar, Phillips’ best friend at the Tina Mac Group Home and a teammate at Baldwin Park High: “Lawrence was a person who’d get up early in the morning while everyone was asleep and head to the elementary school right down the street from the group home. He would do 100 yard sprints and pull ups before going to school. ‘That’s how you get good, Tom.’  I didn’t believe that was what he was doing. I just knew he was going to a girl’s house. One morning I waited for him to leave and I went to see if he was working out. And he was. Hard.”

“For myself being raised in Watts I didn’t attend school because of hunger, clothes, and shoes. I was pretty much illiterate when I arrived at the home. I remember, I asked Lawrence why he had a ‘P’ and not an ‘F’ in his last name. ‘He said p-h makes the f sound.‘ Not once did he laugh or make fun of me.”


Clinton Childs, fellow Nebraska running back: “Lawrence and I had a bond that will never be broken. I always had his back one hundred percent. The common denominator is misunderstood. He was misunderstood. Lawrence touched a lot of people. ”

“He never pointed the finger. No matter what the media said about him. He took every shot on the chin. He never pointed the finger. He absorbed a lot for 40 years. He absorbed it all. He took it on the chin and he rolled with it.”


George Darlington, defensive assistant coach for 30 seasons at Nebraska and the lead recruiter of Phillips: “One of the things that is going to be said all day is the tremendous consistency of Lawrence Phillips. The tremendous team player of Lawrence Phillips. I get so sick and tired of watching television and see these jokers pounding their fists and try to have the focus on them. Well, that’s diametrically opposite of Lawrence Phillips.”

“Lawrence Phillips is as fine of an example as we’ve ever had at the University of Nebraska as a team player. He cared about the team and wasn’t in it for him.”

Darlington closed his speech by telling a story about the 2014 reunion of the 1994 championship team. He regularly corresponded with Phillips and wrote to him asking if there was anything he’d want passed a long to his teammates.

“He wrote in a letter ‘It was so great that Schlesinger got to score those two touchdowns and I kind of got blasted carrying out the fake. Just think how much Cory and the other fullbacks blocked for us.’ He didn’t say blocked for me. He was just a tremendous, unbelievable model of the kind of guy you wanted on your team.”


Arzelle Dupree, Uncle: “Lawrence was one of those kids who got along with everybody. I am so proud of my nephew.”


Vershan Jackson, teammate at Nebraska:  “We logged a lot of hours walking as freshman. We logged a lot of hours talking.  And one day Lawrence said ‘Why are you always waking with your head down?’ And I said ‘I don’t know.’ He said ‘There ain’t nothing down but the ground.’ I call him my best friend and there are a lot of guys here who are his best friend too. He breathed confidence in me. He breathed strength in me.”

“LP was the most generous person I know. When he got drafted to go to St. Louis, he said ‘VJ you can have everything in my apartment and my car. You can have it all.’ I look back on my life and I ask myself, do I do that to other people? Would I do it? Can I do it?”

“When we get an opportunity to touch someone’s life, like Lawrence Phillips touched my life when I was an 18-year-old kid, and I’m 40 now, it’s truly amazing. Don’t miss your opportunity.”


Tina McElhannon, Tina Mac Group Home: “I went to one of the games. (My sister Barbara), she put the kids in everything she could put them in. We went to Baldwin Park and Lawrence was playing and I’m one of the people who when they watch I worry that the kids will get hurt. And Barbara said ‘Don’t worry about it. He’s going to be just fine.’ Then this kid goes racing down the field and I said ‘Who is that, Superman?’ and Barbara said ‘No, that’s Lawrence Phillips.’


Coach Tom Osborne: Coach still has his knack for working a room. He started off with a small quip (as always) that got a nice laugh from those in attendance. He thanked Ty Pagone for calling him an excellent recruiter and added, “I didn’t say anything. I just told Lawrence he could wear number one. Actually, I think I knew it was open that year.”

He went then through of list of those he reached out to to get a remark about Lawrence. The names included Boyd Epley, Frank Solich, Doak Ostergard, Dennis Leblanc, and Jack Stark. They each had something wonderful to say.

In his typical style, Coach was doing everything he could to not make his moment at the podium about him. His only game story about Lawrence didn’t involve any that resulted in a championship or featured anything particularly highlight worthy.

Kansas State. 1994. A downright miserable day in Manhattan, KS, and with Tommie Frazier out and Brook Berringer injured, it was up to Lawrence to shoulder the load.

“Our top two quarterbacks were hurt so we weren’t going to throw the ball much that day and K-State had 11 guys within about five yards of the line of scrimmage. We gave the ball to Lawrence 30 times. And it was tough going. Probably three, four yards at a crack.  And he was playing with a thumb that was so swollen that he couldn’t grip the ball. It was about four or five times the normal size and very painful so he carried the ball with one hand and he kept hitting that line.”

He closed by speaking about the last time he he saw Phillips.

“Paul Koch and I visited Lawrence in prison. Spent about an hour with him and during that time Lawrence smiled for the whole hour.
He was very upbeat. Never did anything negative come out of his mouth. He didn’t put anyone down and blame anybody. I came away from that particular visit thinking maybe I’d lift his spirits and I have to say that, actually, Lawrence lifted my spirits more than I was able to lift his spirits.”

“There were a great number of people who cared about him and stood by him through thick and thin and that love will be endured forever.”

Pastor Daryl Sanders, a volunteer at the Tina Mac Group Home: “I met him when he was 12-years-old and had just come into the home. We were having a competition and I saw muscles come out of Lawrence that I had never seen before the age of 12. I said this man is really a specimen.”


Sharon Pritchett, Aunt: Lawrence’s Aunt told a story about how he visited her and her daughter in North Carolina. She didn’t specify the exact place or time but Lawrence spent that fall working as a volunteer coach at the nearby traditionally black college working with the running backs.

“Reach out and touch someone with you can. Make this world a better place.”


Toby Wright, teammate at Nebraska and St. Louis: “Lawrence’s work ethic was unbearable. To see Lawrence work was to to see Lawrence as the person he was today. Everything he did he went 100. He went 100 as a good friend. He went 100 as a football player. He went 100 to everything he loved.”

“I remember we were driving to one of the games He said one thing to me. He turned down the radio and said T-riggity. ‘You know what I found out. In life, either you did or your didn’t. And then he turned up the music back up.”


Paul Koch, strength coach at Nebraska from 1987 – 1996: Koch was a frequent correspondent with Phillips and used his time to eulogize his friend by showing how his initials of LP could describe who he was as a person.

An example: “Lasting Protector. A young teammate blew out his knee and was on crutches in the team locker room.  Some older teammates were hazing the freshman where they grab you and throw you in the wet showers and give you a rough time. Well, someone wanted to take the injured youngster’s crutches from him and toss them in the showers but Lawrence quickly stood between them and said no one’s touching him. That was the end of that. He had a soft spot for the weak and defenseless.”


Tony Zane, Head Coach at Baldwin Park High: Coach Zane told a story of coaching Lawrence in an all-star game in Hawaii. His next stop was Nebraska and Coach Zane said he’d promised George Darlington that he’d honor his request and not play Lawrence at running back to reduce the chance of injury. (In high school he was also a standout linebacker.) A series of fumbles (and Lawrence’s insistence) caused that promise to be broken by halftime. Midway through the third quarter, Lawrence became to only player Coach Zane ever heard of to make it to the end zone three times in a row on the same drive.

It’s first and 10 at their opponent’s 16 yard line, Lawrence runs left and goes right past a Samoan lineman (who went on to start at BYU) and scores.

But there’s a penalty flag.

They run the same play from the 26 and Lawrence jukes the same lineman before reaching the end zone again.

But there’s another flag.

From the 36 they run the same play for a third time and this time Lawrence runs straight over the lineman, his signature move when he was upset, and sprints to the end zone.

The same ref goes to throw a flag again but wasn’t in his pocket.

“One of my players probably picked it up,” said Coach Zane to big laughs.


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The Most Bizarre Lawrence Phillips Story You’ve Never Heard

This a here story we’re about to unfold about Lawrence Philips is true.

If we set out to make up a Lawrence Phillips story, there is no conceivable way we’d ever come up with this one. Even today it remains one of the most mind boggling things we have ever heard and it will be forever seared into our brains.

Please note: There will be a term used that is not appropriate in this day and age or ever. Sure, we could omit it but this is a story that, even if given a revisionist sugar coating, would be no less shocking.

December 14th, 1996. It was a Saturday. The Huskers were a week removed from being upset by Texas in the inaugural Big 12 Championship game. The plan to appear in a 4th consecutive national championship game and finally cross Florida State off the list was blown off the rails due to a flu stricken Husker squad and John Mackovic’s cajones to call for a back breaking pass on 4th and inches.

This day was also the birthday of contributor Kubrickian Glee and myself.  As a pair of struggling students at UNL, it was a day we looked forward to because daVinci’s just didn’t give you a free slice of pizza on your birthday, they hooked you up with a full meal on the house. Lucky for us, their 11th and G location couldn’t be any closer to our respective crap holes at 13th and G and 9th and E.

We met for a late lunch around 4:30. Somewhere behind a blanket of grey clouds the sun was setting. It was a perfect gloomy December day.

Once we showed our IDs to the semi-baffled waitress, we were seated for our complimentary birthday feast.

The only other guest was a little old lady who was preparing to leave. Even through our everyone-over-30-is-old eyes, she had to be at least 80 if not a decade older. Her waitress helped her get into a bright red pea coat and tied her doggy bag around the top rail of her silver walker and said her goodbyes. At the speed she was moving, returning next week for an early bird special was far from a given. Before setting off across the restaurant, she put a lavender knit cap on her head. Decades of practice placed it just so on the first try.

As she clomped past our booth, Kubrickian and I both acknowledged her with the courteous, yet forced smile you give your grandma  right before she lays a big fat kiss on your cheek.

That was all the in she needed. She stopped dead in her four pronged tracks and said “I don’t know about you boys but I’m still terribly upset about the game last week.”

“So are we, ma’am. We really thought they were going to win.”

“They would have won if they hadn’t chased that colored running back out of town. He would have been a senior this year. I really think that boy got a raw deal.”

Kubrickian and I both looked at each other. Our jaws were on the precipice of dropping all the way to the table. Was she talking about Lawrence Phillips?

Before we had the chance to ask, she continued.

“I’m still not sure about that white boy who’s playing quarterback now. He just looks so lost out there. The Arizona State game was heartbreaking.”

We nodded in agreement to that one.

“And it’s his fault that colored boy got in all that trouble. He shouldn’t have been catting around with his girlfriend. She was clearly a whore anyway. You know how it was all over the news that he dragged her down the stairs by her hair? Do you know what I would have done?”

Kubrickian and I were speechless by this point.

“I would have dragged her down the stairs by her feet so her head could have bounced on each and every step. That’s what I would have done. You boys have a nice night.”

And with that, she was off into the darkness.

RIP crazy little old lady Husker fan, wherever you may be.

Lawrence PhillipsLawrence Phillips rushed for 206 yards against Michigan State. Then he returned to Lincoln and brutally assaulted his former girlfriend.

Lawrence Phillips Prison
Feel free to drop him a note c/o Kern Valley State Prison sometime.

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