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So long Losers: Your Huskers vs Gophers Senior Day Preview

Senior Day has finally arrived for an unlucky group of 13 Huskers who were never able to escape the gravity of mediocrity. Over the course of four seasons, they  stumbled their way to a 36 – 14 record (so far). That’s a paltry winning percentage of only 72%  and a full a 11% lower than Tom Osborne coached teams.

If Bo Pelini and company and are truly focused and committed to  building a program that wins championships, Senior Day shouldn’t be a celebration but a chance to tell these 13 non-achievers to hit the skids. As a final parting gift to fans, Kenny Bell should insist his name be wiped from the record book for stealing the records of a man who had what it took to win not one but two National Championships.

At this point in the season, why even let the seniors play when those who will be back in 2015 could be on the field getting valuable experience?

Before you declare the idea of Bo pulling the plug on an ultimately fruitless season to be hogwash, think about all the times you’ve ever hit reset on a video game before getting your ass fully kicked. Benching the seniors in favor of fresh meat with a desire to win is the same damn thing, just in real life. Those chumps had four years to get it done and couldn’t. So what’s the big deal if they don’t play the last three games?

You want to see a competition at quarterback? Give Armstrong, Fyfe, and Stanton each a quarter and whoever plays the best gets the fourth as a reward. You want crisp and precise plays? Run them again and again until they get it right. Clearly the practice squad isn’t putting up enough of a real world test so why not use meaningless games as practice?

Sure, the Huskers could go on a roll and win out the season but really, who does an 11 – 2 record impress? Only losers who don’t have championship standards.

If your blood is starting  to boil right now or at the very least you’re having a WTF? moment, congrats. You can keep reading.

To those of you who found this blatant trolling to be brilliant, out of the box thinking, please go find a different corner of the internet to waste your time.

This is a site for Husker fans who stick together in all kinds of weather no matter how lopsided the score. We’re with these guys all the way, just as long as they don’t do something dumb like showing their wiener to a convenience store clerk.

Scouting Report: Minnesota is just like Wisconsin except not as good. So get ready for a few flashbacks to last week. The Golden Gophers own the Huskers in the overall series 30-22-2 but have only won twice since 1959 with their most recent wins coming in 1960 and 2013. (We’ll go ahead and pretend last year’s game didn’t happen.)

Golden Gopher head coach Jerry Kill is pretty much his team’s biggest story. Unlike “former rising star” Bo Pelini, Kill’s 24-24 record at Minnesota is already the stuff of legend. Last season his team notched an unprecedented eight wins! This year, Coach Kill has thankfully gotten his health in order but he’s still a dick for abandoning his previous post at Northern Illinois team ahead of the Humanitarian Bowl for the greener pastures of Minnesota. Remember how Pelini stuck with LSU until after they finished the job of winning a national championship?

Bo Pelini Drunk
Bo Pelini, a man of his word.

Confidence: It’s the word of the week for Husker beat writers. Depending on your source, either Tim Beck needs to regain confidence in his play calling or he needs to give Tommy Armstrong a shot in the arm, ideally his non-throwing one because that cannon needs all the help it can get to be properly re-sighted and calibrated.

Here’s hoping they spent some quality time listening to Matt Foley.

Honestly, it’s a coin toss as to what kind of Huskers team we’ll see on Saturday.  The Huskers are either going to live out Carl Spackler’s wildest fantasies or get a golden shower from the Golden Gophers on their home turf. Let’s just hope it’s the former.

Ideal Scenario: The Huskers get the win, sending the seniors off on a positive note and go undefeated at home for the first time since 2012. It doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to get done. It’d be great to see Ameer bust off one more long run at home and see Kenny Bell haul in one last #TommyBomb. Players like those guys don’t come around often and it’s been a real treat to see them play. Btw, did you know all 13 seniors will have graduated by December? Pretty impressive.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 8 – this is an all-time high. With the game on ESPN and last week’s meltdown still a gross, oozing wound, don’t be surprised if ESPN has a camera just for Bo.

Question That Needs an Answer: Can the Huskers rebound or will they shit the bed a second week in a row?

 

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