Tag Archives: college football

Who Woke Up Still Mad About What Happened in Madison?

Welcome to Monday! So how about that game up in Madison? Still upset? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

A lot of fans started off their week by waking up with a rage boner about the Huskers and Pelini.

Here are some selected highlights. Just click the linked hashtags to get a real-time update. Things could really heat up when the weekly press conference kicks off at 11am Central.

Searching #Huskers

I’d bet big money @jeremywidner wrote this on the can.

Trolling the homestate team and trying to drive lunchtime business. Poor form @DonohuesPub.

This tweet comes on Monday because took all day because R&D took all day Sunday.

Searching #FirePelini

The rage torches must have been extinguished because these tweets slowed to a crawl very quickly.

#SocialActivism!

So according to his infographic, an average of 34 teams a year finish with 9 wins? WTF? This makes no sense. We may need to do some research.

If you’re going to stoop to using a meme generator, at least use some of the time you save to crop out the watermark and class things up a bit.

And finally, to add an air of mystery to things, twitter user @FirePelini hasn’t tweeted in over a year?

Did come to accept Pelini is here to stay?

Did he run out of data on his Go Phone?

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Is Tom Osborne Behind the Huskers’ Drop in Playoff Ranking?

After a bye week that saw a major reshuffling of the College Football Playoff deck, the Huskers found themselves on the short end of the stick, falling three spots to number 16 and well out of playoff contention.

College Football Playoff Rankings

Naturally and all too predictably, Husker Nation was outraged by the disrespect shown to the 8-1 Big Red as evidenced by seven two-loss teams being ranked ahead of the Huskers.

From Husker Extra’s Facebook Page
Angry Husker Fans

These same fans who will talk until they’re blue in the face about how you “need to run to set up the pass” apparently don’t have the foresight to realize that early November rankings don’t mean a thing. The playoff isn’t this Saturday. It’s in January, after the regular season has ended and conference champions have been crowned.

With the exception of the non-conference-championship-game-having pussy ass Big 12, every team ranked ahead of the Huskers has to tip toe through a minefield of a schedule and/or win their conference title before making plans for the playoffs.

Luckily, at least one Husker fan realizes this.
Husker Voice Of Reason

And all this leads to our first ever Big Red Fury Conspiracy Theory.

What’s the better way to motivate someone-  tell them how good they are or how bad they suck?

While it does have its critics with regards to development of emotional intelligence, reverse psychology has been proven to be an effective tactic.

In what field of study did Tom Osborne earn a master’s degree and doctorate?

Tom Osborne’s area of expertise is the field of Educational Psychology. While he could go by Dr. Tom, he prefers to be called Coach, even today.

Which legend who is synonymous with the Nebraska Cornhuskers is on the College Football Playoff Committee?

That would be Tom Osborne.

It’s not that far out of the realm of possibility to think that Bo Pelini could have called in a back alley favor to T.O. requesting his team get knocked down a few pegs ahead of their biggest game of the season.

Or, more likely, T.O. went rogue and decided the best way to help the Huskers is to temporarily hurt them.

Think about it. A win over Wisconsin would have the the Huskers trending upward ahead of a likely showdown with Ohio State for the Big Ten crown and put the winner in a good position for a playoff slot.

If they lose to the Badgers, it’s much less embarrassing and harmful to lose as the 16th ranked team rather than being on the cusp of the top ten and losing to a number 20 team that lost to friggin’ Northwestern.

Coach Osborne knows how to work a room and it wouldn’t take much for him to convince his colleagues that the Huskers might not be all that, especially after a weekend where he could devote more time to watching all other teams since the Huskers weren’t playing.

If the Huskers win on Saturday, don’t be surprised to see them inside the top 10 this time next week.

College football is a fickle mistress.

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A Wisconsin Horror Story

This is a story about the time Nebraska played Wisconsin for the Big Ten Championship.

It’s a night Husker Nation would love to forget but the gruesome events that transpired on December 1, 2012 will be forever seared into the collective psyche of the unfortunate souls who witnessed the massacre at Lucas Oil Field.

While I was lucky enough to not see a single second of the game live, I felt nearly every Badger gut punch in real-time.

On that fateful night, two of my favorite things collided. It was a classic case of the unstoppable force vs the immovable object. In one corner you had the Huskers’ showdown with Wisconsin and in the other, my biggest cyclocross race of the 2012 campaign. It was getting late in the season and I was locked in a vicious battle for a mediocre ranking in a mediocre division. It was a race I couldn’t afford to skip. (Full disclosure: amateur bicycle racing has about as much at stake as a slow pitch softball league.)

My race started at 5:15, the same time as kickoff. With a little luck, I could make it to the watch site in time for the second half. The only snag in the plan was the weather. It was as bad as it could get for Los Angeles in December, low 50’s and rain flying in all directions. Thanks to a couple of ill-timed crashes late in the race, I plummeted out of a spot comfortably in the top ten and crossed the finish line in a battered 21st place, soaking wet and covered in mud from head to toe. For the record, it was a very hard fought 21st place. I didn’t quit and kept racing to the end.

As soon as I recombulated myself, I made a beeline to the car and dug out my phone to get an update on the game.

36 new texts were waiting for me. Immediately, my mind start racing about I how could possibly fill all the requests for Rose Bowl couch space without ending up divorced.

Then I started reading the messages.

They started out hopeful. Some Huskers! and GBRs! around kick off. My brother sent me a pic from his seats at the game. An enterprising buddy who knew of my personal crisis recorded T-Magic’s ridiculous touchdown run off his TV and sent me the video.

He closed his message by saying “It’s still early. Hope the Huskers can make a comeback.”

Wait, what? Taylor’s run made the score 14 – 7. The Huskers were only down a TD. So what. They’ve come back from much worse.

Then I checked the current score. 35 – 10 Wisconsin.

If the Huskers could get to 17 by the half, a victory for the Big Red would not be out of the picture. By the time I finished my comeback calculations, they staggered off the field down 42 – 10.

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do. I was all packed up and ready to go watch the game but I wasn’t about to schlep over Hollywood just to be the muddy faced weirdo who randomly showed up for the second half.

In a daze, I walked back over to our team’s area on the race course. There would be beer there. I was greeted by a teammate who went to CU and was in the stands for the Huskers meltdown in 2001. “I saw the score. Sorry man. I don’t even know what to say. It’s just brutal.”

We then hugged it out as only people who understand the misery of college football can do.

Texts continued to pour in. Even friends who couldn’t pick a Husker uniform out of a police line up were checking on my well being.

We’re at a bar and saw some scores on the TV. Nebraska’s your team, right? Hope you’re OK. If you need anything give us a call. We’re here for you.

Hey dude. Holla back so I know you’re still with us. Suicide is never a good option.

Stay strong buddy. It’s only a game.

Sorry about the Huskers. Do you have any connections for Rose Bowl tickets?

What happened to the Huskers? Sorry we keep racking up the score. Not.

 That’s what revenge is all about!

Do you have any room at your place if we come out for the Rose Bowl? We promise we won’t wear any Badger gear in the house.

As luck would have it, half my family hails from Wisconsin. Most are UW alums and all are avid sports fans. Packers, Brewers,  and the Badgers and apparently not just for basketball.

I never heard a peep out of any of them about Badger football until Nebraska first met Wisconsin as a member of the Big Ten. Once they blew out the Huskers on their home field, the floodgates opened. Seriously, they could teach a class on Reddit about how to troll for maximum effect.

When Nebraska returned the favor the following year, I took the TO high road and didn’t say a word and neither did they. Unfortunately, their silence just meant they were working on material for the championship game.

It got so bad I turned my phone off midway through the third quarter and didn’t turn it back on until sometime Sunday afternoon.

A text from my brother was waiting for me. It was short. Simple. And to the point.

Dude. I was so depressed I went back to the hotel and ate a $60 steak with my bare hands.

And fuck those cheeseheads!

Can’t wait to see how Saturday plays out.

GBR.

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Bye Week: Basking in the Doom and Gloom of Other Fans

You know what’s awesome?

I just did a Google Image search for sad Michigan State fans and the Google machine spit back of a treasure trove of sad Michigan fans. Apparently, sad Michigan State fans are nowhere to be found on the internet.

This photo though is priceless.

ku-bigpic-560x546
Was this poor Wolverine’s left eye already bloody or has the pepper spray caused him to cry tears of blood?

With the Huskers enjoying an unprecedented second bye week, today is a great day to sit back, relax and enjoy watching other fans’ seasons come to a screeching and catastrophic halt.

With  our local Husker watch site also being home to an Ohio State alumni group, I’m very tempted to go watch their big showdown with the Spartans just so I can watch a dear Ohio friend possibly have a meltdown. I know it’s not exactly “classy,” but you can rest easy knowing she’d do the same for me.

While Los Angeles is far, far away from being a college football town, all of us idiots who moved here have helped turn every sports bar into a United Nations of college football. Walk into any place on a Saturday afternoon and you’ll see groups of fans from at least a dozen different schools huddled around their respective TVs. It really makes for a great scene.

And like Survivor, unexpected allegiances will form.

When Michigan lost their season opener Appalachian State at home way back in 2007, everyone in the bar who wasn’t maize and blue stopped what they were doing to watch Michigan’s last second field goal attempt get blocked.

Never has there been such joy in the anguish of others.

Then again, 2007 was such a dark time for Husker Nation that fans actually stopped watching games in public. On that day against Nevada, there were exactly four of us in red squinting at a 12 inch TV bolted to the ceiling at an bad angle. When your team is Bill Callahan bad, you get banished to the little TV.

By 2009, our in-public attendance had improved but we were still dwarfed by the highly organized LA chapter of the Texas Exes during the Mack wants another second put back on the clock game. Our numbers were bolstered late in the game by Alabama fans who stayed around after their game ended just to help root against fucking Texas.

The all-time best though was the Huskers’ comeback against Wisconsin in 2012. Early in the second half, a dozen or so Ohio State fans sauntered upstairs to our “private” room at our watch site. Without even acknowledging the odd looks they were getting, they grabbed seats wherever they could. A trio sat down at our table and promptly ordered shots of Fireball Whiskey for the table.

“Hi, we’re here to cheer for you guys just so you’ll be ranked higher when we beat you next week. ”

And that was that. For the rest of the game, they cheered on Huskers and marveled at the “Go Big Red” chant.

To their drunken ears, it sounded like Sloth yelling “Heeeey Yooouuu Guuuys” which is exactly what they shouted when a Go Big Red faded out.

Gotta love college football.

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Recap: A Steaming Pile of Purdue-doo

Let’s count the ways things did not go the Huskers’ way against Purdue-

Ameer gets taken out of the game (and possibly longer?) after he gets crushed by his own lineman trying to recover a botched snap on 4th and goal from the Purdue one yard-line.

(Feel free to count snap issues and goal line inefficiency as individual problems if you are so inclined.)

Roommates Tommy Armstrong and Jordan Westerkamp were on the wrong page to the tune of two interceptions.

A Blackshirt  interception turned fumble essentially gave Purdue eight downs from inside the Huskers’ 30 yard-line.

True freshman kicker Drew Brown missed his third field goal in four attempts.

Now let’s count the ways things went right-

After all the offensive, offensive miscues, pulled boners, and Tim Beck over-thinking, the Huskers still won handily.

The Blackshirts held Purdue to 14 points the same total the Boilermakers notched against Notre Dame. Don’t forget they hung 31 points on Michigan State.

Two blocked punts.

Bo Pelini got a sideline penalty and it wasn’t due to taking a swing at an official!

When a 21 point victory over Purdue can feel like a loss to Iowa State, you gotta take a step back and admit that’s a good problem to have when moving into November with an 8 – 1 record.

As frustrating as the game was to listen to (for the record, I still haven’t watched a single highlight), it’s hard to get that upset.

Nine games into the season, we still haven’t seen this edition of the Huskers at their best and we certainly haven’t seen them at their worst. The pendulum has swung in both directions all year long without reaching one extreme or the other. If you think they reached a new low against Purdue, congrats on having a very short memory.

Will playing above average with spurts of greatness and stupidity be enough to beat Wisconsin in Madison? Who knows?

November is shaping up to be an entertaining month so sit back and try to enjoy the ride as best you can. There aren’t many teams that can claim to have an equal chance at making the playoff as making the Meineke Car Care Fight Hunger with Pepperoni Pizza Bowl.

**On a completey unrelated note, the Purdue game was the first time I listened to a Huskers’ radio broadcast from pre-game to post-game in its entirety since Ball State was a missed field goal away from an upset in Lincoln.

Video streaming didn’t work so well out in the middle of nowhere but Greg Sharpe and Matt Davison came through crystal clear. (The only trick is using the TuneIn Radio app rather than the unfortunately unreliable official Huskers app.)

FullSizeRender
This was our view during the game.

Greg and Matt really make a great team. Greg deftly rides a fine line between the legendary Kent Pavelka’s I’m-about-to-have-an-aneuyrsm  level of enthusiasm and professional polish, balanced out by Matt’s nuanced observation and appropriate level of dread when needed.

If you’re ever in the mood to kick it like it’s the 20th century, give those guys a listen sometime.

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Purdue Or Do Not. There Is No Try.

For the second consecutive year, we’re going to be away from the comforting bosom of our neighborhood watch site on Purdue weekend.

In 2013, the Huskers traveled to West Lafayette and rolled an 1 – 11 Boilermaker team 44 – 7 in a game that was decided well before halftime. It was a great, stress free Saturday, especially the part where I was able to venture out of the tiny bubble of free hotel lobby WiFi and spend the rest of the afternoon lounging on the beach.

This year we’ll be in nestled in the mountains in the new age hippie paradise of Ojai (with a requisite side trip to the nearby premium outlet mall).

In a season where the Huskers have been rolling, the Boilermakers come to Lincoln with a semblance of momentum and the proverbial elephant in the proverbial room looming larger than ever.

That elephant would be the Huskers’ seemingly annual crapping of the bed against a lousy team. With that in mind, Purdue’s visit suddenly adds suspense and anxiety to the mix. It’s like Husker Nation is one big traumatized family on pins and needles when they realize it’s been far too long since dad has come home piss drunk. A Husker meltdown is imminent. It has to be.

Or does it?

Confidence: Like any woman who has ever thought she could change her man,  the Huskers are wearing their new look and attitude well but have the potential to regress back to their old losing habits in a heartbeat. (Then again, that could be the years of psychological damage talking.) If Nebraska can get through this one with a W, they just might have turned a corner for both the season and the program.

Scouting Report: Purdue, the Indiana university that is neither Indiana or Notre Dame, is located in Tippecanoe County. Tippecanoe, as we all know, translates to “place of the succor fish people.” In our hearts, the Boilermakers will always hold a special place for ensuring Kansas State’s dream season of ’98 had a nightmare ending.

KYLE ORTON PURDUEIn Unbeaten: The Life of Brook Berringer, distinguished Purdue alum Kyle Orton explained how he wore number 18 as a tribute to Brook. It’s amazing how one little anecdote can instantly make a guy unhateable.

More seriously though, Purdue is a 3 – 5 team the Huskers can’t treat lightly. A week after Nebraska manhandled Illinois, the Boilermakers bumped off the Illini 38 – 27. They followed that up by playing Michigan State to within a touchdown until Boilermaker QB Austin Appleby threw a game sealing pick six with 1:29 to go.

The pessimist could look at that and conclude that the Spartans aren’t that good and Purdue is better than Nebraska. We’ll go out on that fragile limb of optimism and say Michigan State played poorly because they were still rattled from their oh-so-near miss against the Huskers the week before.

Long story short, Purdue is finally starting to click. Check out Hail Varsity for all the stats to back up that statement. Then again, they’ve also lost to Central Michigan, Notre Dame, Iowa, and Minnesota.

Ideal Scenario: The Huskers cruise into their bye week ahead of their big showdown with Wisconsin. Ameer, Kenny, Tommy and Randy all do their Ameer, Kenny, Tommy and Randy things. I don’t resort to hiding from my wife by holing up in a premium outlet bathroom stall and faking the worst dump of my life just so I can watch a too-close-for-comfort game in relative peace and agony.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 5 — Don’t expect the ABC/ESPN/SEC Network faction to cut him any slack, especially with Ed Cunningham in the broadcast booth.

A Question That Needs an Answer: Will Imani Cross ever score again? He hasn’t notched a touchdown since the Illinois game a month ago.

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Recap: Huskers roll, Dirk Chatelain trolls

Even in a lethargic, let’s-just-get-the-game-over-with-and-set-some-records-along-the-way 42 – 24 victory, Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain found a way to stir up unnecessary drama.

Following Nebraska’s win over Rutgers, Bo Pelini rightfully called out his team for lack of execution. With a little more attention to detail, the Huskers could have easily doubled their 18 point margin of victory and given the backups some valuable playing time. Instead, they shot themselves in the foot enough times to still have the starters on the field at the final whistle.

While you expect the Huskers to show improvement from one week to the next, sometimes their progression stalls and the end result is a “blah win” which ultimately should never be anything to complain about.

Even our watch site had trouble getting motivated for the game. In our defense, 9am kickoffs on the West Coast are for the birds. Couple that with the game being on ESPN2 and a normally robust turnout plummeted to just a couple dozen who could barely bust out a Go Big Red. Games like this have all the fun of a Catholic mass at 6pm on a Sunday night. Everyone in attendance just wants to get communion and get the hell out.

Husker Watch Site
Rutgers scores a late touchdown and not single Husker fan throws things at the screen. This is how little anyone cared.

In a game where Ameer Abdullah ran for 225 yards on just 19 carries (11.84 YPC) and broke the Husker record for all-purpose yards with 341, Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain’s biggest concern is why Tim Beck didn’t call more running plays. (It should be noted that the Huskers finished with 297 yards on the ground.)

From his column:

Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain: “Do you understand the frustration when (Abdullah) rips off two for 50 and you throw it three straight times the next possession?”
Beck: “No, I don’t.”
Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain: “Really?”
Beck: “No. You think every time we hand him the ball, he’s gonna run for 50? What if he runs for 2? Should they get frustrated, too, ’cause he didn’t run for 50? Is that the line’s fault then? Or is it his? Did he miss it? Or is it a bad play call because we should’ve ran the other way?”

Josh Harvey from Scout has the audio of the whole conversation between Beck and Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain posted on his site. It’s worth a listen if you want to hear a master troll at work. Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain comes off so whiny with the “Really?” that he makes Luke Skywalker sound like Samuel L. Jackson.

Now let’s go back and examine Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain’s big question from above.

Ameer’s first 50 yard (53 if you want to get technical) touchdown run was preceded by him rushing for 7, 2 and 5 yards. The entire drive was four Ameer rushes and took 1:31 off the clock.

The next time the Huskers got the ball, their first play from scrimmage was this 16 yard strike to Jordan Westerkamp.

Had the the Rutgers defender not sent Westerkamp’s spleen into his kidneys, he may have gone all the way for a score.

Then, on the very next play, Ameer runs 48 yards for his second touchdown in barely three minutes. You might say Tim Beck set up this run with the previous PASSING PLAY.

Over the span of two drives that milked all of 2:03 off the game clock, Ameer carried the ball 5 out of 6 plays and scored two touchdowns.

So, the next time Nebraska got the ball don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, the Rutgers defense will be on the lookout for #8?

Starting from their own 41 and up 21 – 7, here’s how those three passes that Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain was all in a huff about went down.

1st Down- Chucked out of bounds about ZIP Code away from DPE.

2nd Down- Caught by Alonzo Moore at the sideline but Moore was out-of-bounds by a sliver of a heel. Had the game been in a tighter situation, the play could have been called for a review. If it were ruled to be a completed pass, the Huskers would have been looking at third and 2.

3rd Down- Kenny Bell gets tossed off the field by a Rutgers defender. Tommy Armstrong then proceeds to throw a perfect strike to said defender for an INT.

Hmm… Sounds like Tommy Armstrong could use some work on his passing. With the Huskers up by two touchdowns in the dregs of the second quarter, why not give him some throws? Or does that make too much sense for Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain?

His readers seem to think it does-

Dirk Readers
However, one Top Commenter chimed in to give credence to Omaha World-Herald staff writer Dirk Chatelain’s claim that people are frustrated by the lack of running.

Ronald Scribner
Yes, Ronald. It is beyond frustrating that every day can’t be like 1994 where vaginas were still hairy and wide receivers were used more for their blocking ability than catching skills. Heaven forbid that Bo Pelini and company could recruit receivers who can block AND catch.

Note Westerkamp’s pancake and Sam Cotton being such a nuisance that the Rutgers defender resorts to grabbing a double handful of jersey in a futile attempt to catch Ameer during his first touchdown run.

Funny how both those guys caught touchdown passes later in the game.

 

 

 

 

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Blackshirts, and Rutgers, and Bo Pelini! Oh my!

Looks like Bo Pelini ran into some #kappa ladies tonight.

Go ahead and mock Pelini’s deer-in-the-headlights look all you want but if you were a married guy who was suddenly swarmed by half a dozen ready-to-party Kappa alums outside a hotel you’d be instantly terrified once the cameras came out.

The biggest news out of Lincoln this week was that Blackshirts were handed out. While Husker Nation seems to have accepted the fact that traditions can evolve over time (or they could have simply forgotten that Blackshirts are still an actual thing on the practice field), there was some confusion about whether or not they’d be worn on game day.
Blackshirts
Black Shirt Confusion

Joel, I was in your boat once. It was November 20, 1987. The day before Game of the Century II. In front of my entire sixth grade class, I asked our teacher if the Huskers would be wearing their Blackshirts because it was such a big game. I was laughed right out of the room.

Blackshirts Stupid

You know what else is stupid? Calling something stupid while not knowing difference between there and they’re. You were so close, David A Adams.

Last year, seven players were awarded Blackshirts before the start of the season. With an unproven defense heading into 2014, there was certainly nothing wrong with Pelini and Papuchis waiting to award the coveted jerseys.

The only concern is that handing out Blackshirts ahead of the Rutgers game really sets the stage for the Scarlet Knights to come in and take a big ol’ dump on the season. The moment news of the jerseys appearing hit the interwebs, a bad feeling started to sink in.

The last time the Huskers played at 11am, McNeese State was the opponent and we all know how that went.

If Pelini can keep the Blackshirts from letting their new Blackshirts go to their heads, things should be OK. But keep in mind that if this streak of four losses a season is to continue, the Huskers need to start losing some games.

So on that optimistic note, here’s our preview-

Confidence: See the above paragraph but take it with a grain of salt. Just because we have a bad feeling doesn’t mean you have to. Don’t forget that Rutgers did open their season by beating Washington State, the most perplexing 2 – 5 team of 2014, on the road.

Scouting Report: Between a bout of food poisoning and other extra curricular activities, this week has been a wash so we’ll turn things over to Brian Christopherson and Steven M. Sipple.

Sip’s I-slept-in-my-car-but-have-a-hell-of-a-story camera presence makes us want to have a beer or five with the guy sometime.

Ideal Scenario: Ameer breaks a buck fifty on the ground with a couple of long TD’s. The early start time will give extra chances for air time during highlight packages throughout the day. The offensive line doesn’t do anything too offensive. Kenny Bell breaks a long standing record but doesn’t celebrate by robbing a gas station. The Blackshirts live up to their own name. By the final whistle, it’s a good quick game over before lunchtime sets in here on the West Coast.

Over/Under on Angry Bo Close Ups: 5 — The game is on ESPN2 and it wouldn’t be surprising if the “Worldwide Leader in Sports” wanted a little get-back after Pelini’s SEC comments this week.

A Question That Needs an Answer: Will Johnny Stanton see the field again this season?

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The Magnolia State unleashes an invasive species upon the world of college football.

There they were. One week ago Mississippi State and Ole Miss were the toast of every college football fan outside Tuscaloosa and College Station.countryfied

But now, with this pair of kissing cousin SEC schools sitting atop the national polls — each taking out yet another establishment program in double hoedown throwdowns — college football fandom is now wondering, “How do we get rid of these guys?”

A look at schedules does not bode well for those hoping the Bulldogs and Rebs get tripped up somewhere in the regular season before a showdown between the two of them inevitably ends the undefeated hopes for one.

Ole Miss has Auburn and (maybe) a road trip to LSU to worry about before hosting the Bulldogs.

Mississippi State has Alabama. And that’s it.

Sure, Auburn and Alabama are as good as anybody to pin your hopes on ending this Magnolia State scourge. But Auburn just got hammered by the Bulldogs. They probably won’t fare any better against the Rebs. Alabama, fresh off its loss to Ole Miss, looked like crap against an Arkansas team still in the process of rebuilding.

With just 227 total yards and 14 points against the Razorbacks, Bama fans may be discovering why Lane Kiffin keeps getting fired everywhere he goes.

Could one of the Mississippi schools become the fifth team to bring a national title to the SEC so far this century?

God let’s hope not.

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What games to watch on a Husker-free weekend

The Huskers will be enjoying a weekend off (aka Nebraska’s fall wedding weekend) so that means there’s an absolutely golden opportunity to revel in the misery of others without the risk of having to join all the other losers in to the cesspool of defeat.

Before you spend an entire Saturday on the couch watching strange teams easily making all the plays the Huskers can never seem to make, we can’t stress enough the need to make an appearance with wife and kids (if applicable) and make a noticeable dent (no matter how small) in household duties that have gone neglected since August 30th.

Pick a game or two and enjoy a stress free-weekend.

Georgia at Missouri
11am (all times listed at Runza Time)
CBS

more-missouri-butthurt-9-8-12

After their Heisman hopeful Todd Gurley was suspended due to being ratted out by a jilted autograph dealer, the Bulldogs turn to true freshman Nick Chubb (best name for an unproven backup ever) to lead the ground attack. And Missouri has… wait… who really cares about anything Missouri does? Root for Georgia in this one.

Texas vs Oklahoma
11am
ABC/ESPN3

Beat-Texas

The Sooners travel to Dallas for their annual Red River Rivalry showdown with Texas. The game has always been a little off-putting in the sense that it’s like your favorite cousin going to a big invite only blow out party with the half of his family you’re not related to. Once you get over the FOMO, sit back, relax and watch that favorite cousin do the Lord’s work by kicking the crap out of the Longhorns.

Oregon at UCLA
2:30pm
FOX

A61EMDhCYAAd-Pc

OK. This one hurts. It’s like being back in time eight weeks before the events in Sixteen Candles take place. You’re Samantha sitting at the geek table in the cafeteria watching a hunky blond version of Jake Ryan having a sweet and playful tickle fight with his longtime girlfriend Caroline (bet you didn’t know that was her name). For some sects of Husker Nation, the day Oregon goes Ice Princess on Scott Frost can’t come soon enough for Nebraska would welcome him back with open and loving arms. Then again, that’s what was promised for Bo Pelini. And if we remember correctly, Husker Nation didn’t react to kindly to a guy who originally chose Stanford over Nebraska’s finest land grant institution. Even without factoring in what UCLA did to Nebraska the last two seasons, you want Oregon to win this game just to keep Michigan State’s strength of schedule up. All the better if they can do it with Marcus Mariota having a sub par day. And on a final note, any college that plays 25 miles (a two hour drive in LA) off-campus can suck it.

Alabama at Arkansas
5:00pm
ESPN

Alabama-Fan-Tattoo

The only attractive part of this game is Bret Bielema’s wife and she’s bat shit crazy. Cheer for neither team but hope Alabama loses in a gruesome manner so that everyone is happy and little angels get their wings.

Mississippi at Texas A&M
8pm
ESPN

FLAG

You want Ole’ Miss to lose to ensure playoff chaos and I want them to lose because I’m still bitter about wasting two hours of my life watching The Blindside. Note to aspiring actresses: If you ever want to win an Oscar, simply do your best Julia Roberts as Erin Brockovich impression. It worked for Sandy. Just don’t invite your cheating-with-a-white-supremacist-stripper biker husband to the ceremony. And seriously, fuck any team that can make Texas A&M’s militarized fraternity scene look almost sane and rational.

USC at Arizona
9pm
ESPN2

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The Wildcats are enjoying their best season since 1994 when they were named Sports Illustrated’s preseason number one and a U of A sweater warmed the terrified shoulders of Sandra Bullock in Speed. Cheer for Arizona in this one. For another Wildcats win will add to the suffering of Michigan fans and add to the dysfunctional chaos that is USC’s football program. And not to worry, Zona will have plenty more chances to derail their so far perfect run.

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