Category Archives: Big Ten

Say Hello to Maryland, the Huskers’ Next Victim

It seems like the season was just getting started and now the Maryland game is here.

By late afternoon, Memorial Stadium will fall silent. The Sea of Red won’t roar again in Lincoln until 2017.

The final home game of the season marks the very first time the Huskers will be squaring off against the mighty Terrapins. If the Big Red can somehow manage to beat a team that was also edged out by Ohio State 62-3, they will notch their ninth win of the season and finish with a perfect home record for the first time since 2012.

Will it be Tommy Armstrong Jr. who gets to lead the Huskers to victory one last time in front of the home crowd, or will it be Ryker Fyfe who gets to lead the Huskers to victory for the first time?

Since that question probably won’t be answered until kickoff, let’s focus on the week’s important drama for a moment.

What the hell happened to the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy?

Brandon Cavanaugh has a great breakdown of this travesty in the making on his site Eight Laces.  93.7 The Ticket all but confirmed it’s gone forever and a Change.org petition has been started to bring it back. You can add your name here.

It’s a total bummer to see the best trophy game in the Big Ten go away so unceremoniously. The biggest sign of all that it’s donezo is that there has been nary a peep from the Huskers’ Twitter account, which never passes up an opportunity for some sweet meme action. The ignore-it-and-hope-goes-away silence is deafening.

If the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy really is retired, why not at least auction it off and have the proceeds go to charity? That would make Nebraska’s budding rivalry with Minnesota really worth something. (Assuming the trophy hasn’t already been chucked in a dumpster in the dead of night.)

Alright, let’s get back to Maryland.

Look, the Terrapins don’t boast a 5-5 record due to an overabundance of skill.  Their players can’t even go on a BB gun rampage without getting arrested. You think those geniuses will be able to contain DPE? Heck no. If the Blackshirts can contain the turtles’ running game, they should be in good shape to get the win even with Larry the Cable Guy taking the snaps.

The Huskers’ game plan on offense should be to let the running backs take care of business and only throw the ball to seniors standing wide open in the end zone. Do you realize Brandon Reilly hasn’t caught a touchdown pass since hauling in the game winner against Michigan State last year? Let’s get him another one at home before he leaves us.

Huskers 45
Maryland 23

BONUS CONTENT: If you end up sitting next to a Maryland fan, here are some things to know about The Old Line State

Crab Cakes are basically Maryland’s corn and Runza rolled into one. Do not speak ill of Crab Cakes unless you’re itching to start a fight.

Six Marylands could fit comfortably within Nebraska’s borders. Its wacky shape helps hide the fact that it ranks #42 in land area, coming in just ahead of Hawaii.

On the flip side, Maryland’s population density is nearly 25 times higher than Nebraska’s. To put that into perspective, Nebraska’s population would have to swell to 46 million people to achieve the same density. That might help explain why everyone in The Wire was so angry all the time. There’s no breathing room.

Finally, the state motto of Maryland is “Fatti Maschii, Parole Femine” which literally translates from archaic Italian to mean “Manly Deeds, Womanly Words.” Extra bonus points for you if you can work that into a heckle.


Share

Guess there’s a game today, huh?

Get excited. There’s a Husker game tonight.

What? You’re not pumped by the fact there’s a reasonable chance that the kid who currently plays holder could end up under center this evening?

Look people, there are two important things to know about this game.

1. No matter what happened this week, it is still gameday. We don’t get many of these a year and after this one there are only three of them left, barring any awful miracle that could lead to the Huskers playing Ohio State again.

2. Minnesota is not to be confused with Wisconsin or Ohio State. Granted, potential disaster is always on the table but there’s no way the Golden Gophers will hang 62 points on the Huskers, so that’s a good thing.

Minnesota comes to Lincoln with an identical 7-2 record, with their losses coming against Penn State (26-29 in OT) and Iowa (7-14, yes, they played all four quarters in that one).

The Gophers notched their big wins of the season against… um… wait a second… uh… nope… they really haven’t beaten a team that’s marginally good.

Then again, their numbers in wins against common opponents with the Huskers are similar enough to raise concern. Try these on for size.

Illinois
Huskers 31-16
Gophers 40-17

Purdue
Huskers 27-14
Gophers 44-31

Whatever though. This is Minnesota we’re talking about. It’s important to note that both Illinois and Purdue were softened up by the Huskers first. It’s not hard to beat a team when it has already been flogged into demoralizing submission by the Big Red.

While the Big Ten scheduling gods have been mostly nice to Minnesota, this game is where the Gophers start a gauntlet to end their regular season. After Nebraska, Wisconsin and Northwestern are on deck.

Even with Ryker or Zack at the wheel, the Huskers should be able to handle this one. If there was ever a time to turn the running backs loose, it’s tonight. A steady diet of Newby, Ozigbo, and Wilbon plus a touchdown by the Blackshirts should get the Huskers all the points they need to keep the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy in Lincoln for another year. As much of a gamer as he is, there’s no reason for Tommy to risk taking another shot to the head so soon.

Huskers 44
Gophers 20
(Don’t laugh. We made this prediction back in August and we’re sticking to it. YOLO.)

mike-riley-carl-spackler
Mike Riley. Master football strategist. Caddy to the Dali Lama.


Share

The Saddest Thing I’ve Ever Done

Saturday, November 5: 6:47pm

It’s 13 minutes before the Ohio State game and I am weirdly calm. Mike Riley has even coached me to stay calm and just relax at game time. It’s oddly reassuring. I’m just over here sipping a Budweiser and waiting for the game to begin. The Huskers have a chance to pull this off. My score prediction is 28-21. I think it’s going to be close but the Huskers want this. They know what it feels like to have a failed season and don’t want it to happen again. This Ohio State team doesn’t really know that feeling. Something just tells me that this game is going to go to the good guys. The Huskers. I know this team is beaten up and I’m sure I will be posting my post game reaction and feeling totally different. Like a moron. Because that’s what Husker fans have come to expect. Disappointment. But not tonight. I won’t accept that this season is ending tonight. I can’t.

7:15pm

Tommy threw a pick six on the first drive… might start watching Bama LSU

8:18pm

Ohio State: 21, Nebraska: 3

Actually might start watching Bama LSU

8:28pm

Punt recovered by Nebraska. I see hope. But it might be the beer talking.

8:38pm

It’s been a few minutes since Tommy went down. I’m scared. He is being carted off. He just gave the thumbs up. Who cares about this game at this point, just want him to be OK. Tommy has been the heart and soul of Nebraska for the past few years. He really is the best player on the team just because I never ever see him give up. And that’s all I can ask.

8:42pm

Ryker is in after Tommy is taken to the hospital. Morale is low. Hope is disappearing. I’m running low on beer.

9:25pm

12 seconds into the second half. Touchdown Ohio State. I feel like I’m watching a train wreck. Why am I still watching this?

9:41pm

So Tommy is just running back into the stadium in scrubs right now. The guy is a damn robot. Just happy to see him back.

10:09pm

Ohio State: something over 50, Huskers:3

I’m done with this blog

Tuesday, November 8: 6:20pm

Remember when I thought it was smart to attempt to live blog a Nebraska vs. OSU game? I do. And I’m a delusional idiot.


For real time hot takes from Leslie, follow her on Twitter- @lesmicek

 

Share

Sunday Afternoon Hot Takes: Ohio State Edition

In case you were lucky enough to miss last night’s debacle, here’s a recap of all you need to know.

Where do we even begin? This was such a vicious, unbridled ass kicking it should have come with a trigger warning.

Without subjecting myself to the digital paper cuts of verifying exactly where this loss ranks among historical beat downs, these are the first pummelings that come to mind that no amount of therapy has been able to erase.

Texas Tech, 2004 – Remember how we were tricked into thinking  this game could be chalked up to the growing pains of installing the West Coast Offense and not the harbinger of doom that Bill Callahan was a lousy coach?

Colorado, 2001 – The go-to game when it’s time to point to the one that ruined it all.

Miami, 2002 – Proved the previous game wasn’t a fluke.

Miami, 1992 – The shutout that led to a dynasty.

Arizona State, 1996 – The shutout that ended a dynasty.

Missouri, 2008 – Remember how we were tricked into believing that these meltdowns would stop when Bo Pelini had “his” players and not the harbinger of doom that Pelini was a lousy coach?

Wisconsin, 2014 – OK we get it now. Please make it stop.

Laser Tag, 1987 – Out of all the savage and merciless beat downs I’ve ever endured, this one hits the closest to home and is the most analogous to what transpired last night in Columbus. This one bubbled up while listening to Big Red Overreaction on the way home. Thanks, Damon Benning.

Buckle up, kids. It’s story time.

The scene, Grand Island, NE. 1987. Fifth grade. The martial arts fad inspired by the Karate Kid had finally died out and what had been a downtown dojo was transformed into a futuristic Laser Tag arena.  No longer would we be subjected to playing in dingy basements. (Playgrounds and parks were off-limits after a kid in California was shot by a police officer who thought he had a real gun.) We finally had a real Laser Tag arena that was worthy of the booming metropolis that was Nebraska’s third largest city.

My friends and I played there every chance we could. The arena boasted pro-level equipment, a maze of unfinished plywood, and more black lights than an above average bong store.

It wasn’t long before the management invited us to join a league that was forming. We knew right away that this was destined to be our first step on the path towards becoming professional Laser Tag players. There was no professional league yet but there would be. Laser Tag was the sport of the future and we weren’t going to waste this opportunity.

In the two weeks leading up to our first match, we put ourselves though boot camp. We had conditioning workouts at recess and strategy sessions after school. Down in our basement we built a replica of the arena out of refrigerator boxes that we dragged home from an appliance store so we could practice close quarters combat in secret. We were so driven and obsessed we should have planned a bank robbery instead. We probably would have gotten away with it.

Our debut match was on a school night which made it that much more special. After enduring the longest day ever, my mom dropped the four of us Lazer Boltz (the still crummy team name I had to think up on the spot when we signed up for the league) off outside the arena.

We were still on the curb when our competition pulled up.

In their own cars.

Not only were they high school kids, they were the kind of of long haired metal heads you avoided at the pool and ran from at the mall. The deep end and arcade was their turf and we were grateful to be occasional guests.

Now we were about to be locked in a pitch black room with them and would be trapped in there until victors emerged.

Still, we liked our chances. While these kids were busy smoking cigarettes and listening to records backwards, we were training. In an egalitarian and utopian sport such as Laser Tag, it didn’t matter that we were each outweighed by 100lbs.

Until it did matter.

The Lazer Boltz started out strong but we were soon over matched when our foes realized that no referee in the arena meant that an abstract concept such as “rules” didn’t need to exist. They systematically chased us down like a pack of raptors and wrestled us into full nelsons and executed us at point blank range.

The yellow belt I earned in that very room six months earlier would prove to be no match for brute size and strength but at least I knew how to take a punch.

The Lazer Boltz disbanded after our first and only match. My mom flew off the handle on the guy who ran the place when she returned to find a quartet of sniveling kids on the curb. Turned out we were the only actual children in the league and were invited to only to help boost the numbers.

None of us ever returned.  The arena went out of business a few months later.


By this point,  Husker Nation should know how to take a gut punch and roll with it. A team can practice hard and do everything right but sometimes it’s going to walk into a buzz saw from which there will be no escape. All you can do is take your lumps, move on, and get better.

Last night, Ohio State was that buzz saw and the Huskers were humiliated on the national stage. It’s wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time. Shit happens and sometimes that shit is a scoreboard that reads 62-3.

In my preview of the game, I said that Tommy Armstrong Jr. could cement his legacy at Nebraska by leading the Huskers to victory. Instead, he cemented it by walking back onto the field in medical scrubs 58 minutes after he was strapped to a spinal board and taken to the hospital with his future hanging in the balance. In a night marked by defeat, this was the bigger victory.

Now for the usual Sunday stuff.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch
mike-riley-happy-balloon-hindenburg
Shout out to @KingJHip for suggesting the Hindenburg.

Our Score Prediction

fullsizerender2Just a little off with the Huskers winning 28-21. Then again, nobody saw this one coming.

It should be noted that the contingent of Ohio State fans was (mostly) gracious in victory and just as concerned for Tommy as Husker fans were.

img_9974Hey kids, don’t lick dry erase marker.

img_9976Thanks for helping make us forget this game ever happened, Vinnie.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

Add the first four items up and you get a pregame YOLObomb. (Click the link to watch a video of the shenanigans.)

img_9969
Nothing says eating your feelings like an ice cream sandwich of defeat.


Share

Sorry Ohio State, Nebraska Nice is Over

Another week, another big game for your still-in-the-top-10 Huskers.

Following last Saturday’s disappointing loss at Wisconsin, Mike Riley said that his team would be “playing mad” tonight against Ohio State.

The Huskers should be playing more than mad. They should be playing with the intent to rip the collective throat out of the Buckeyes. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Their season is on the line.

If there was ever a time for this team to show the college football world the Huskers are back, it’s tonight.

Under the prime time lights.

On Ohio State’s home turf.

Imagine how hard Kirk Herbstreit will be losing his shit if the Blackshirts swagger onto the hallowed ground where he once posted a minus 200 QB rating and kicked the crap out of Ohio State like they were reenacting all the best parts of Road House.

It’s time for The Horseshoe to turn into the Double Deuce with Nate Gerry playing the role of Dalton. He needs to be the cooler who keeps the Buckeyes out of the end zone.

Tommy Armstrong can play the wise old sage Wade Garret because that’s who we need Tommy to be tonight. This evening is as good as any for him to solidify a place in Husker lore. Beating Ohio State in Columbus will go a long way towards forgetting all those YOLObombs.

However, if bad Tommy comes out to play, it will be yet another knife in the chest for Husker Nation- just like Wade Garrett.

Spoiler alert: Wade doesn’t make it out alive.

But the Huskers will be leaving Columbus with a win

Huskers 28 – Ohio State 21.


Share

Sunday Evening Hot Takes: Wisconsin Edition

Well crap.

This is a weird one. It’s been nearly a full day since the Huskers lost to Wisconsin 23-17 in overtime and the typical post-Husker loss depression has yet to kick in. Maybe it was all the beer during the game, followed by more beer after the game, followed by a late night rampage through Halloween candy that helped make this loss feel not as horrible as all the others.

Let’s break it down:

Did the Huskers have chances to win? Yes.

But did they piss the game down their leg? No.

Were there some odd offensive play calls during crunch time? Yes.

But were they as fatal as throwing on 3rd and 7 against Illinois? No.

Did these Huskers prove they have a lot of fight in them? HELL YES.

You never want to call a loss encouraging but it’s hard to be discouraged after this one. The last time I felt borderline optimistic after a loss was back in 2008 when the unranked Huskers went down to Lubbock and forced #7 Texas Tech into overtime by rattling off 21 points in the 4th quarter.

Like the Badgers last night, the Red Raiders scored first in OT but opened a window for a Husker victory when their extra point try was blocked.

Unfortunately that game would end two plays later on a Joe Ganz interception but it gave Husker Nation hope that the team had turned a big corner.

Seeing these guys slug it out for 60 minutes plus only to come up short hurts but it makes you look forward to seeing what they can do next Saturday in Columbus. The Huskers have a solid chance to get out of town with the win.

We just need Good Tommy to show up for all four quarters and perhaps a revised offensive game plan for those extra tight moments. There really should have been more urgency to close out the game in regulation and it doesn’t seem like Danny Langsdorf has a solid quiver of go-to plays when the Huskers need to get yardage.

In overtime, it was two Newby runs up the gut for a pair of yards and a pair of incomplete passes with the final one being a swing and a miss for a touchdown when a mere first down would have kept the Huskers in business.

As much as this game deserves to be stuck in our collective craw for a long time, it’s best if we let it go.

Twitter Drama

In case you missed it, the high school aged son of a former Husker coach who shall not be mentioned took a swipe at his dad’s old team following the game. Shortly after, he claimed to be hacked. Of course.

patrick-pelini-tweet

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch

Our first sad balloon of the season.
Our first sad balloon of the season.

Our Score Prediction

We’re starting to run out of Hollywood Bvld Spider-Men to star in these.

NUMBERS TO RATIONALLY DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS
(We’re not to depression levels… yet.)

2.8: Call Wisconsin lucky, call the refs blind, but no matter which way you shake it, the Badgers have averaged less than three penalties per game this season. They put up goose eggs in their games against Akron and Iowa so getting a single flag thrown on them for all of five yards isn’t that big of a stretch. Meanwhile, the Huskers were penalized just twice for 10 yards in their cleanest performance of the year. HOWEVER, THAT NO-CALL ON THIRD DOWN IN OVERTIME IS STILL BULLSHIT.

32: Wisconsin’s advantage in total yardage. They outgained the Huskers 337 to 305 on the evening. It would have been only a seven yard advantage for the Badgers had the Huskers found the end zone in OT.

12: Believe it or not, the Huskers actually moved up in Ed Johnson‘s book following their first loss of the season. Last week, Johnson, the Assistant Sports Editor at the Albuquerque Journal, had Nebraska slotted at 14, their lowest ranking among AP voters.

16: The Huskers’ new low ranking in the AP Poll is brought to you by Tom Murphy from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette who dropped the Nebraska from 10  down to 16.

-5: DPE’s total rushing yardage under Mike Riley on 11 carries. (That’s -0.45 ypc.) If you add his freshman year into the mix, his career rushing numbers jump up to 5 yards on 16 tries. I know HCMR likes the jet sweep but maybe we can put it on the shelf for a game or three?

37.5%: Tommy’s completion percentage. He was 12 for 31 on the day with the Badgers clawing down 10 of those incompletions. Might not be a bad idea to use a few of these bad boys in practice next week so Tommy can get used to throwing around flailing arms.

tube


Share

Breaking Down the Badgers with Cousin Ben

Welcome to game week against Wisconsin.

As you may know, the undefeated Huskers are ranked number 7 while the Badgers are 5-2 and clinging to relevance in the 11th spot. A win for Nebraska means their lofty but “unearned” ranking has been justified. Another loss to the Badgers and it’s rambling think pieces and rambling blowhards on your TV reminding you that Nebraska still isn’t back. And then there’s a game at Ohio State to start worrying about.

Since Nebraska joined the Big Ten, this has always been longest week of the season for me since the bulk of my family hails from that magical land where you’re not charged with a felony until your FIFTH DUI. You can find it on the map listed as Wisconsin.

My brother and I are our family’s lone Nebraska natives and Husker fans. Our representation is growing somewhat thanks to he and his wife’s rapidly expanding family but we are still hopelessly outnumbered.

badgers vs huskers
We really weren’t outnumbered 27-4 on the 4th of July. There was a fifth little Husker fan in a stroller somewhere.

Out of the Badger bunch you see above, my 16-year-old cousin Ben (front and center in the bucket hat) is the biggest fan of them all and he’s way more knowledgeable than your above average professional sports hack. He lives in Green Bay and is on his high school’s cross-country and basketball teams. He’s a sniper from beyond the arc so if you have an extra basketball scholarship to give away, check out his Hudl highlights.

Ben was nice enough to give a breakdown of what to expect when the Huskers roll in to Madison this weekend.

Here’s our interview.

First off, my condolences to you and the Badgers for falling out of the Top 10 after squeaking by Iowa. How’s life in the not-Top 10 been treating you?

I was extremely surprised that the Badgers weren’t in the top 10 again this week, but coming from unranked to start the season, 11 is pretty nice. I still have hope that we will be Big Ten West Division Champions, and hopefully get to the Rose Bowl.

The Badgers lost by a touchdown against Michigan and in overtime to Ohio State on consecutive weekends. How were you able to handle such demoralizing defeats? Did you need to take any time off from school?

The Michigan game was rough. I worked for the first quarter and part of the second and got to listen to Michigan’s kickers keep Wisconsin in the game. Then I had to go to my girlfriend’s dance in the fourth quarter and watched in agony as our DB got burnt and ultimately lost the game. My girlfriend made a comment that I didn’t look happy in any of the pictures. If only she understood.

harambae
Ben and his girlfriend in happier times before the Badgers had to go and ruin Fall Fest.

I was lucky enough to be in the crowd for the Ohio State game (in a section of mostly Ohio State fans) and that one was soul crushing. Watching the defense play so well for most of the game and our offense move the ball efficiently just to lose was horrible. My thoughts of the OT: Ohio State’s receiver fully pushed off on the TD and should have been called for PI. Also, I don’t know why we didn’t have receivers in on 1st and goal, 2nd and goal, OR 3rd and goal from the 3 yard line. But needless to say, the Ohio State game was encouraging, yet, sad.

On a better note, you were at Lambeau for the Badgers’ win over LSU. How much fun was that game and how confusing was it to see the Badgers at Lambeau? Were LSU fans weird or what?

The Wisconsin vs LSU game was the second most fun college football game I’ve ever been able to attend, right behind Melvin Gordon’s 408 game (don’t think I have to explain that one any further). Lambeau was extremely hyped up and the game couldn’t have went better for the Badgers. I thought Green Bay was a perfect place to host the game and I’d be shocked if that’s the last college game at Lambeau. The LSU fans were very bummed and all said they were going drinking after the game. Oh, they also loved to complain about their QB, who I didn’t think was horrible other than his last mistake. But overall, very fun game.

The Badgers started the season with Bart Houston as their QB before switching to Alex Hornibrook. Then they both played against Iowa. What’s up with these guys?

Honestly, I have no clue. I’m not a huge fan of Houston, and I don’t know what Hornibrook did to get his playing time split. Hornibrook doesn’t have the strongest arm, but he makes good decisions and knows how to run the team. I don’t like seeing Houston in there.

How much is running back Corey Clement like Melvin Gordon? BTW, Melvin is on my fantasy team solely because of the way he ran wild on the Huskers.

I was a big Corey guy early in his career, but I think he started to get too injury prone, and didn’t work to get much better. I do think he’s stepped it up big time the last couple of games, and I hope he can continue his hot streak. I think he’s going to be a third or fourth rounder and hopefully can make some noise in the league.

How much of a beast is J.J. Watt’s 243 pound little brother, T.J.? He’s a fantastic player. I think he handled his big stage poorly against OSU, so if you’ve only watched that game, you’ll be extremely surprised this weekend.

Do the Badgers have any other monsters Husker fans should be worried about?

Jack Cichy is now out for the season otherwise, he would have been my first pick. But our whole defense is extremely solid: Vince Biegel is a beast. The offense will hopefully do enough. I’m a big Jazz Peavy guy (receiver) just because of his speed and agility.

Now that your sister is a freshman at Madison has she turned into a Badger super fan?

She goes to all the games, but I don’t think she could name more than one player on the football team. She’s more interested in the tailgating parties and Jump Around than the actual games.

If you had to choose between the Packers winning the Super Bowl or the Badger basketball team winning the NCAA Tournament, what would you pick? (I didn’t include the Badger football team since getting selected to the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl isn’t exactly the stuff dreams are made of.)

Ummmm… The million dollar question. I think I’d have to pick the Badger basketball team because I follow them so closely and go to so many games. I mean, I named my dog after one of the players for gosh sakes. But the Packers winning the Super Bowl wouldn’t upset me at all.

What are your expectations for Bronson this season?

I think he’s going to be a beast. First team all B10, 17 PPG and lead the Badgers to the Final Four. (You have to make the tournament to make it there, so Nebraska fans may not know much about that.) Just kidding. But I have extremely high expectations for the Badger basketball team this year. Much higher than I had for the football team coming in. (I told myself as long as we made a bowl, I’d be happy.)

Finally, what’s your prediction for Saturday?

The question I’ve been most waiting to answer. Camp Randall’s going to be rocking, and Tommy Armstrong n Co. won’t be able to handle a tough road test against a great defense. Hornibrook does just enough to keep us ahead, Clement and Ogunbowale (yes, that actually is someone’s name) each score one and Andrew Endicott nails 3 field goals. [Note: Rafeal Gaglianone is out for the season.] Wisconsin wins 23-10 and Nebraska ends up losing 4 out of 5, giving Wisconsin the right to play in the Big Ten championship.
[Note: Gee Ben, tell us how you really feel.]

Oh, and I heard my mom is watching you guys this week. Please tell me you’ve been tormenting her. She sent me some trolling texts during the Dodger/Cubs series so she needs some payback.

She’s threatening to throw a “Husker party” on Saturday, so I’m plotting ways to get back at her if that were to happen.

[Note: OK. This proves my mom is officially the worst when it comes to sports. She’s never once rooted for Nebraska when they’ve played Wisconsin.]


Share

Herbie vs. Herbie: An Investigative Report

Our good friend Kirk Herbstreit has gotten a lot of hate over the last few weeks for his childish demeanor towards Nebraska, not only online but also live on ESPN’s College Gameday.

It isn’t anything new but I decided to look into some of his antics and bring you the Best of the Worst of Herbie. I’m not sure if he actually hates Nebraska or just loves being a troll, decide for yourself.

Piece of Evidence #1: Kirk Herbstreit is a Whining Little Girl

Listen, I didn’t make the title of that video but it isn’t that far off.  Be a bigger baby, Kirk. You can’t. ESPN asked the fans to vote to decide the best CFB teams of all time and Kirk doesn’t like the results so he threw a tantrum for the history books. If Lou Holtz is looking sane, you have some self reflection to do.

Evidence Item #2: Twitter

herbietroll

Kirk Herbstreit didn't mind Pelini because Kirk never won any big games either
The most annoying argument of all time

troll-5

herbie-troll2

herbie-troll-3
Cameo by a Friend of the Fury, Brett Baker.

Piece of Evidence #3: October 15, 2016

Herbstreit and his gang of analysts predicted the Huskers would lose again, but this time they did it with sarcasm and disrespect. Guys, these are college kids, if you don’t think they are a top 10 team, at least show a little respect. They can’t do anything other than play the teams on their schedule and win. And so far, they have.

The Gameday hate didn’t go unnoticed, either. Several Husker players used it as motivation.

screen-shot-2016-10-21-at-7-37-29-pm

Also, let’s just be clear about this, Kirk was being sarcastic when he picked Nebraska vs. Indiana. Kirk has been tweeting this week and trying to say he was sincere. Kirk must think Nebraskans are that stupid, but believe me, Kirk, I am well versed in the art of sarcasm. I know it when I see it, Kirk.

Now I have been showing all the evidence that might make it look like Kirk hates Nebraska. What about the evidence showing that he might like us?

complimentsherbie-compliment-3

herbie-excuses-2

So yes, you will find some positive things that may suggest Herbie doesn’t actually hate Nebraska. But then you see this:

reason-troll

Is he just bringing Nebraska up to bring them down?

Or is he finally starting to see the light?

Boys and girls, men and women, Kirk Herbstreit has spoken and I believe him. Kirk has probably decided to like Nebraska because he now hates Penn State.

screen-shot-2016-10-24-at-10-29-49-am

To be fair, I enjoy Kirk when he isn’t hating on dear old Nebraska U. Maybe the relationship is just complicated. Maybe Herbie wanted to be QB at Nebraska instead of Ohio State, which I would understand. Maybe he hates the best fans in college football. Or maybe I screenshotted all these tweets for nothing and am reading too far into this. I’m not declaring this a war yet, just an annoyance. Oh well, we still got to watch the Kirk Herbstreit is a Whining Little Girl video again, and that’s good enough for me.

P.S. How are Desmond Howard and David Pollack still employed? I guess that’s a different blog.


Share

Sunday Evening Hot Takes: Purdue Edition

If there’s ever a Husker game you have to miss, go ahead and circle Purdue as a bonus bye week.

The Huskers’ 27-14 win over the Boilermakers started off with a bang thanks the combo of Kieron Williams pulling down an interception game’s opening play that was immediately followed by a 22 yard touchdown run by Tommy Armstrong Jr. on the Huskers’ first offensive snap.

From that moment, the game devolved into a somewhat stressful snooze fest. This is a match up that no one, including the Huskers, seems to care about. Our local watch site, Sycamore Tavern (formerly known as The Happy Ending) was nearly as empty as it was last year when the 3-6 Huskers limped into Ross-Ade Stadium with Ryker Fyfe under center.

sycamore-tavern-crowd
This is the bulk of the crowd that turned up to cheer-on their top 10 Cornhuskers.
Husker Fans
Same spot last year when the Huskers’ season a reached rock bottom not seen since the days of Bill Callahan.

Even Husker super fan and co-host of the Big Red Cobcast Ryan Tweedy (buy his movie, yo) had “better” things to do.

The biggest takeaway from the latest chapter of this not-so-storied rivalry that gives national media giggle fits is that these Huskers simultaneously have the ability to find a way to win (somehow) while being able to incite mass hysteria among their fans.

I don’t want to say I was planning on the worst when Purdue went into their locker room with a 14-10 lead at halftime but I did spend the break stress eating an ice cream sandwich the size of a Personal Pan Pizza.

Let’s hope these last two weeks are nothing more than a mid-season lull as the players and coaching staff couldn’t help but be distracted by what looms ahead.

Mike Riley’s Balloon Watch

Mike Riley Happy Balloon
Mike won a game he had no excuse to lose and never went for it on 4th down so we’re back to the good ol’ regular happy balloon.

Our Score Prediction

Kudos to OG Fanny Pack Spider-Man. He’s been the only costumed weirdo this season to take enough pride in his work to insist on multiple takes.

NUMBERS TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH

1,680: For the most fleeting of moments yesterday, the Huskers were on pace to hang 1,680 points on Purdue. Then the Boilermakers figured out it’d be better if their quarterback threw the ball.

98: Out the 239 points the Huskers have scored so far this year, 98 have come in the 4th quarter. And it’s probably worth mentioning that Husker opponents have scored a grand total of 13 points in the final period.

7:22: The Huskers’ 4th quarter time-of-possession advantage.  Their TOTAL advantage for the game was 6:38.  Last week against Indiana, the Huskers held the ball for 11:16 of the final period. If the other team can’t get the ball it’s going to be really hard to score. This is a brilliant strategy.

8: Eight different Huskers caught the ball Saturday afternoon and none of them were named Westerkamp or Carter. Hopefully they’ll both be back soon.

9: With his one carry for one yard performance, Mikale Wilbon has matched his total rushes from last season with nine. So far, he’s gone for 75 total yards at a brisk 8.3 yards-per-carry.  (Last season he was good for 35 at 3.9). Maybe by the time he’s a senior he will no longer be a mystery wrapped in an enigma.


Share

Sorry, Purdue. Mercy is For the Weak

What a difference a year makes, huh?

The last time the Huskers and Purdue Boilermakers squared off, Nebraska imploded worse than Donald Trump’s campaign. In a decade and a half that has been riddled with soul crushing and mind boggling defeats, losing to a horrible, even by their low standards, Purdue team 55-45 was easily the worst of them all. At least with the 70-10 loss at Texas Tech back in 2004, you can chalk that one up to the perils of Joe Dailey trying to run the West Coast Offense.

Side note: If your head is spinning because Donald was mentioned in a light less glowing than his complexion, feel free to substitute the Los Angeles Dodgers in the above analogy. I went to all three of their NLCS home games and spent two evenings that were far from very pleasant or good watching them play their worst baseball of the year at the absolute worst time. It has not been a good week.

OK. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to Purdue.

As you probably heard, their coach, Darrell Hazel, was kicked to the curb following the Boilermakers’ 49-35 loss against Iowa last weekend. Hazel went 9-33 in three and a half seasons and racked up a grand total of three Big Ten wins His teams took down Illinois (twice) and notched their signature victory at the expense of the Huskers.

Side note #2: The family that has seats next us at Dodger Stadium includes an Iowa alum. (I swear, these people are inescapable.) After she told me about Northwestern ruining her homecoming trip back to Iowa City, she took great joy in the fact that the Hawkeyes were able to regain a shred of dignity by being just bad/good enough to get a coach fired. She was so happy.

Well, apologies in advance to whoever (Gerad Parker, I guess?) is calling the shots for the Boilermakers today. You’re going to be in for a long miserable afternoon that will leave you questioning every life decision you’ve ever made.

You see, the 2016 Huskers aren’t the same sad sacks of confusion and disarray you  played last year. These guys are ranked #8 in the country and are on a mission to roll into Madison undefeated next week. You Boilermakers are just a diversion to kill the time until next week’s main event.

The best case for this game is Mike Riley shows no mercy and gets this one over by halftime. Then, he unleashes Ryker to finish the job.

We’re talking a full 30 minutes of sweeping Boilermaker legs.

riley-ryker-karate-kid-copy
Mercy is for the weak, Ryker. Remember what they did to you last year.

I don’t know about y’all but my heart and psyche can’t take the stress of a tense Husker game immediately followed by playoff baseball two Saturdays in a row. Let’s have some laughs and a few hours of fun today.  (And don’t even mention what’s still technically possible for next Saturday.)

Huskers win this one 41-17.


Share